The Other Side Of Despair

despair

Clenched fists and crimson tears
Bearing scars across the heart
Filled himself on dreadful dreams
Of the lives he’d torn apart

Obsessive echoes dipped in green
Reverberates to the crowds
Outside they gather spectators all
Castle falling through the clouds

Steadfast bonds of love torn down
Sugared promises now dissolved
So hard to keep strong the vows of love
Once the money becomes involved

Pressure filled his worthless soul
A screaming whisper inside his head
Telling him his loving wife will be
So much more happy if he’s dead

He had the answer in his hand
In the form of Smith and Wesson
As she walked out the door that night
The trigger would be her lesson

Dressed to kill down on the floor
With Scarlet ribbons through his hair
The grass seems richer when you reside
Out on the other side of despair

I Want You

i want you

You shredded my heart put me on the back shelf
All that’s left for me to say is go fuck yourself
Because

Baby I want you
With all my heart I do want you so
But I don’t want you to want me back
Cuz babe I want you to go

You tore out my heart just to kick it around
Now you say you want our two lives to split
You once gave me dreams and hopes of a life
But you have nothing to give but your shit

You said you’d always love me and I loved you too
Together with our hearts out on our sleeve
But you tell me you want someone else
I really do want something of you baby I want you leave

You hit an all time low no place left to go
So I want you to know that I want you to go
I won’t take you back for love that you lack
I want you so bad so please don’t come back

Leave me one last kiss to show you have class
So kiss of you cheat with a kiss of my ass

What Is Love

love

Why is love so hard to understand
Is love the air
The air we breathe while hand in hand
As we walk
Creating footprint sets in the sand
Is love the fruit of dreams two planned
What is love
That strange uneasy pleasant feeling
Is that love
A magic spell that sets hearts reeling
Laughing and dancing on the ceiling
Is that love

What is love
Two people dreaming over the ocean
Love is pure
Two lovers bursting with deep devotion
A pair of hearts etched in one emotion
Is love feeling
The feeling that no one else exists
Another’s soul you just can’t resist
Finding love
When life is hard can love be found
Give love
Fill your heart with chains unbound
Is love what make the world go round
What is love
Love is what makes our lives worth while
Making love
An act that creates everlasting smile
To take that short walk down the aisle
That’s love

Two together for ever and ever
Hand in hand wherever whenever
Eternally bound never to sever
Love is the glue that binds together

Love is love
Doesn’t matter who you give love to
What matters is if they’re right for you
Because the more of love you give away
the more of love you get back each day
Love

Walk With Me

walk

Walk with me hand in hand
A journey through salvation
Discover how I became to be
From a lifetime of gestation

We are the sum of all our parts
The leading role of our own play
Forever morphing and evolving
A fragrant character bouquet

Been so many people
Lived so many lives
Won’t know exactly which I am
When that time arrives

Some of them I like a lot
Others not so sure
Wish some lives were swept away
Locked behind a door

But each of them are all of me
For better or for worse
Pieces of organic puzzle
Part blessing and part curse

Looking back my head held high
I wouldn’t change too much
Even with my clouded judgments
Every minutia and every touch

Cause in the end its quite a ride
A journey of elations
And each and every twist and turn
Adds to its excitations

Push it
Shove it
Live it
Love it
Walk with me through life

Five Cold Stages

meg walks

DENIAL

It didn’t happen
She cried, tell me its not true
I’m not ready to say good by, there’s so much left for us to try

She’s gone
I cried, taken away
I just want to hold you tight, rocking in my arms tonight

We miss her
She should still be here for sure, our baby girl safe and secure
Didn’t want to say good by

ANGER

I’m angry
She cried, whys it have to be
She was strong the loss will numb me, you had no right to take her from me
I want her back

I Hate you
I cried, you call yourself a god
I had my doubts before you stole her, let me hold her and console her
I deny you

BARGAIN

I swear
She cried, its not too late
Turn back time and let me get her, promise this time I’ll do much better
I’ll do anything

My fault
I cried, maybe if I prayed up high
If worship could make her not be sick I’d build a church brick by brick
Then tear it down cause it’s a lie

SORROW

I feel so sad
She cried I love her so
Take a pill to ease my plight, cry myself to sleep each night
I’ve never felt such pain

I want to die
We cried, we miss her so
What’s the reason we should live, our only child we had to give
It makes no sense

SURRENDER

That’s life
They cried, now go live yours
Another child’s world soon will start, who’ll need your love and guiding heart
Still we want to die

Move on
They cried, the pain will leave
Pain never seems to go away, we ache from scars everyday
Time heals nothing

Psychologist call the last stage acceptance, but its not acceptance but surrender. My heart will never accept a reason for my baby girl not being with me but I surrender to the fact that I can’t change what is. Take the time today to tell those you love just how much they mean to you before time sneaks away.

Megan Laurine Jaret, we miss you everyday. Today we should be celebrating your 24th birthday, instead I’m here typing through the teardrops on my keyboard trying still to figure a way to cope without you. Time never heals, it only teaches you a way to manage through your days. In the short time you shared your life with us you taught us more than anyone should need to learn. I’d give up everything to have you back. Since you’ve been gone life has become more difficult, but every time I believe I can no longer go on you fill my heart with your presence and help me survive. I truly have no idea if there is a god, if angels exist, or if there is some higher plan, but I do know that in this vast mysterious universe there are powers that defy logic, forces that unseen can make us strong. Megan is my force, and that force is in my heart with every breath I take. The strength of your love is what keeps me going, I only wish we could be going together. I love you my Little Little

What is it your looking for my child?

kells

Many years of journey searching for the truth
Where is it that we find it?
Never in our youth
No not in our youth

A child reached up and grabbed my hand, tell me please don’t lie
My heart it full of heavy thoughts
Are you going to die
Papa will you die

Do you know God Papa
Mama says you may
Are you meeting God papa
Please don’t go away

Do you talk to God Papa
Do you know how pray
If you talked to God papa
What is it would you say

Mama said you doubt Papa
Why don’t you believe
I will talk to God Papa
I’ll pray to her this eve

So many times I’ve wondered why it takes so long to learn
The hardest lesson in life I think
Not easy to discern
Never could discern

Slow down my child you needn’t rush
Sit down here on my knee
Your story’s not yet written child
You’ve still so much to see

The world is big so much to love
So much you’ve still not done
One day like me perhaps you’ll have
A daughter or a son

Love is what we need the most
Its love that bring us bliss
If some day you have a child
you can tell them this

.Life is precious just like you, Here’s what I believe
It matters not where we come from. It matters what we leave
I leave behind a world of love, A world I shared with you
And even when I’m gone dear child, I’ll still be here with you

I don’t know if God exists
But I’ll be in you heart
As long as you remember me
We’ll never be apart

Sometimes in life we must shed tears, that’s the world we live
Don’t hold your love it here to share
Remember and forgive
For me child please forgive

Passion Prison

prison back

Loved and lost and loved again a passion carousel
Bonds of lust
Etched in dust
Promised dreams
Broken trust
Is it really worth the pain risking flames of Hell
Locked in love
Chained desire
Bind her hold her
Take her higher

Loves the prison
On my shoulder
Set me free
I need to hold her
I get hotter
Love gets colder
Loves the jail
Up on my shoulder

Carry it with me wherever I go the prison on my back
Salty mirrors
Broken vows
I’ll take everything
Love allows

Happy or sad I just can’t tell don’t seem to have the knack
First the climax
Then the lie
Its me not you
I hear her cry

Loves the prison
On my shoulder
Set me free
I need to hold her
I get hotter
Love gets colder
Loves the jail
Up on my shoulder

Tenderly emotion trickles down from the prison tower
Smiles and winks
Holds me tight
It feels so good
It feels so right
I’m with you now Honey child let’s enjoy the hour
Seize the moment
Pull my hair
Passion prison
Is always there

Loves the prison
On my shoulder
Set me free
I need to hold her
I get hotter
Love gets colder
Loves the jail
Up on my shoulder

Transcendental Medication (Exploring philosophy through drug enhanced acupuncture)

garden

Previously on TM
A tear trickled down my cheek, a tear of pure joy. Ambrosina was here! I turned to absorb her soul swearing I would not let this be our last time. I don’t care what Kha, Shea, or anyone says, Ambrosina is not leaving me this time. There she stood, arms stretched out waiting for me.
Episode 8
The Garden Of Truth

We embraced so tight, neither of us wanting to let go, my body was shaking. “Ambrosina, tell me this is all real, it has to be.” I was burning with desire for her, but this time it was emotional desire. Don’t get me wrong, I also wanted to make love with her, like forever, but I wanted her to fill me, to fill my soul with her sweetness. “Lets not talk about that now JT, come take a walk with me.” I let her free from my bear hug and we held hands as we strolled along the garden path. “Where are we going?” Ambrosina seemed conflicted, both happy and sad. She lightly squeezed my hand, “This way baby, I have something to show you, just follow me along the stream.” We walked along a running stream filled with large rocks, I could hear the sound of water crashing down on the rocks up in the distance, “Are we going to a waterfall?” She looked at me smiling, the most beautiful smile ever, eyes sparkling and full of love, “Just come with me JT, don’t ask so many questions. I’ll take you where you need to go.” I silently obeyed walking along this utopian path upstream simply overjoyed to be with her, not caring anymore where we go as long a we’re together. A strange thought hit me. I almost asked her if she was God right then but thought better of it. We walked along the stream in silence, our souls intertwined.
The pounding of water got louder, Ambrosina let go of my hand. “We have to cross here baby, jump across on the driest rock you can find. When we get to the waterfall you will be almost where you need to be.” She pranced off jumping from rock to rock crossing the stream to the other side so I followed. I hadn’t noticed much because I had been looking at my feet trying to stay on dry rocks when she stopped, “What do you think?” I thought I had seen more beauty on this island than possible until I looked up at the falls. Sheets of crystal clear water rolling off the top of a forty foot mountain, reaching out in a glasslike cascade into the stream. Sunlight beamed down off the arc of clear water and shot out in shards of energy. The water bounced of the pool on the bottom of the stream and spread cool mists of fresh water vapor over us. I couldn’t speak. “There is a special place at the top of the falls I want to take you. From there we will be able to see everything. Everything the Garden has to offer, including truth.” I had no clue what she meant but I followed as she climbed up towards the top, using the greenery as a stepping ladder.
We climbed without words, our labored breathing getting shorter with each advance. Twenty minutes of hiking through natural splendor, being refreshed by mists of water, listening to its pure force crackling through the air. The natural wonder was putting on an audio and visual spectacular just for us. At the very top the view offered a completely different perspective. We were on top of the world, nothing but beauty below us. Ambrosina pointed to an alcove off to the right as she stepped in the water towards it. She waded waist deep in the water heading near the falls which worried me. Was she thinking I might like diving down the water? I hope not, I’m definitely not ready for that, but she stopped right at the edge. Carved into the rock was a perfect tub, the water rushing around it and the tub filled with warm still water. Ambrosina removed her clothing waiting for me to do the same. She held out her hand so I joined her, both of us naked in a natural hot tub looking over a waterfall into utopia. “Isn’t it beautiful JT? We can see the world from here.” And we could, the sky was vast and tangible, a deep cobalt sheet of pure air painted with clouds. The clouds were a vibrant white in perfect positioning, huge billows of cotton animal shapes with stretches of fibers stretching across the horizon. We sat together in the warm water up to our chests and attempted to take it all in. My island now seemed so much bigger, full of life. “Ambrosina, this I the most remarkable place in the world. Do I have to leave here? Can’t we stay like this forever, this moment frozen in time?” She placed her head on my chest circling her arms around my waist. I wrapped both arms around her willing to protect her from anything, not wanting to let go. “I’m sorry JT, but once we’re done here you must go back. But you will have this moment and all of our moments together in your heart forever, the memory is real. And you will find another one to share this feeling with.” I felt blood leaving my face, “I don’t want anyone else Ambrosina, I want you. I love you!” I held her tighter to my body, “What is love my sweet? Have you learned from me what true love is? We had lust filled sex pledging ourselves to each other. Is that what love is?”
I knew what she wanted to hear but I was afraid if I told her I knew now what true love is her time with me would be done. But I did love her, so I couldn’t lie to her, I have learned that that’s part of what love is, trust and honesty. “No, that’s not love completely but it is part of what love is. Love is total surrender and total commitment. When you dominated me I surrendered myself to you sexually, but also emotionally. It wasn’t an unpleasant surrender, I wanted to be consumed by you. Yet when I dominated you it was you who surrendered and I enjoyed that more than I thought I would. Not to rule you, but to have you care so deeply for me you were willing to be whatever I needed you to be, as I was for you. Love is a mutual surrender and a mutual acceptance. Not a surrender of defeat but a surrender that gave me strength I didn‘t realize I had. I know sex and love are related but of that I‘m not sure exactly how.”
Ambrosina glided across the a water embracing me warmly. “Sex is a physical feeling , a tangible expression but love is a concept my dear. We have sex in order to alter our biological evolution, to force mutations so we may move forward as a species. We fall in love to stabilize our emotions, which spin out of control with each evolutionary advance because of the mutations, the co-mingling of cultural emotions. Look down at those beautiful flowers, each one is programmed through evolution to have an inviting look and aroma to attract an insect, like a bee. The look and smell of that flower determine if an insect will come courting which is crucial to the existence of them both. Neither the insect nor the flower have a clue of how significant their intense love making dance has been, they only know its enjoyable so they do it. In that respect nature fools them using the enjoyment of sex to increase the number of sexual encounters upping the odds of their progression. Much like us. The more enjoyable sex is the more often we have it, resulting in more children to grow and repeat the process. Without passionate love making we would be emotionally weak and have less opportunities of offspring. It has come to represent an expression of how deeply we are committed to each other, that’s why you burn with desire, not sexual desire but the desire to express your love far beyond words to ensure it stays. Unfortunately love doesn‘t stay all the time, sometimes we progress differently in our emotions and that makes us unhappy.” I ready to ask her the one question I needed an answer to.
“Ambrosina? ….Are you God?” Her smile embraced me, “No JT, no I’m not God, you have yet to speak with her. Think of me as a substitute teacher, I’m here to shine a light so you can see the dark truths better. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this but I’m a manifestation of someone in your time stream, someone in your future. You won’t recognize me at sight, but there will come a time when you will be aware of me but you mustn’t say anything, she won‘t be aware. The time is almost here baby, soon you need go down the mountain to Shea. You still have the four truths and the cosmic truths to learn. I’ve completed what you need to know, you have understood much. It’s not many who have the opportunity to understand love at the quantum level. Come let’s make love to me one last time.”
Without a word we stood up and Ambrosina lead me to a clearing at the top of the falls and we made passionate love, both of us giving and taking throughout. I had never before understood the true meaning of unity in love but Ambrosina and I had become one person, one concept. Love is bliss, a joy expressible in words. I have no idea how long we made love, or how many times, when I’m with her time doesn’t exist. But it does end, and like the previous times it ended with us collapsed tightly in each other arms until we closed our eyes, our bodies, our minds, and slept. The shouting of my name woke me up, the familiar voice of Shea, “JT! Comer on buddy, its time to go.” This time I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t panicked, I was okay with it, with everything. My huge smile and I walked down the mountain oblivious to our surroundings.
“Well someone is sure happy.” Shea was correct, I was happy, I was ready for the next step. “Yes Shea, I am. I understand it now, its not about possession, its about unity, full and true unity. I’m ready now, what’s next? God?” Shea’s eye’s revealed instantly what was next, “I’m afraid this is it for this visit JT. I have to bring you back to Kha. But remember this my boy, we all have the ability to alter our present. Our opening scene and final scene are set, but if you want it badly enough, you can alter the act. Change your plot JT.”
That was the last word spoken on the trip. I was physically and emotionally drained and followed Shea like a sheep as he led me back to my row boat. Once I got in the boat Shea began pushing it out into the river. I took one last look back at my paradise island smiling. I’m really going to miss this place! The boat moved with the current and was picking up speed. Before I knew it I was moving at a very fast rate caught in a rapid. The boat was taking on water and I lost my balance. From the bottom of the boat I could see the water rushing in over me covering me. I feared I was going to drown. Suddenly the boat was lifted up and the water cleared away. It took me a half a minute to realize I wasn’t in a boat at all, but I had been lifted from Kha’s deprivation tank. Oops there goes gravity, back to reality!
TBC

An Arrow Escape (Finding Humanity in an inhumane world)

susan

Paying it Forward To Mother Earth
J.T. Hilltop

There is so much bullshit going on in our world these days, citizens taking aim at governments, world economies collapsing or in danger, Typhoons, hurricanes and tornadoes ravaging the earth, random shootings and mass killings around the world, its no wonder the news seems perpetually loaded down with either bad or worse news. A time of year we like to reserve for sharing and caring can become compromised by stories focusing on the dark side of our humanity. Social media adds fuel to the fire turning one time friends into mortal enemies over politics and religion. But politics and religion are beliefs, concepts, that are dissected, analyzed repackaged and force fed to us through various forms of media. We are constantly bombarded with sex, violence, racism, sexism, politics, and religion in negative ways. Its a wonder we haven’t collapsed ourselves under the weight of hypocrisy and injustice. I’m tired of the same old negative bullshit so I’m taking a break from my normal dry sarcastic warped view of the world to tell a feel good story. Nobody dies, nobody gets molested, no bombs or sex scandals, and no untruths slung around to discredit anyone‘s character. Not this time. This is my Hallmark Moment Story. Not the clever funny Hallmark moment, but the cute kittens, the lion and lamb together all too cute puppy licking baby to make you say awwww moment. And its just in time for Festivus. An to top it all off it has a happy Festivus miracle ending.
This story is a story of two of natures beautiful souls, on a helpless animal in distress and the other a caring humane woman who just may restore some faith in our species. The story of Susan Darrah, a compassionate player in the game of life and her odyssey she called “Saving Steve Martin”. A tale of paying it forward in the noblest of causes, the cause of humanity. Paying it forward because she felt a need to right a wrong created by a human being who carelessly shot an arrow into a helpless deer leaving it to fend for itself with that arrow stuck through its face. If I could I would apologize to Mother Earth for allowing such a horrendous act to have happened to one of her innocent creatures. I would then beg her not to judge us by the careless act of the shooter, but by the act of kindness and compassion that followed.
Susan Darrah spotted this wounded deer on her property in Rockaway New Jersey, a natures paradise of beauty and an area rich in wildlife. So rich with wildlife in fact that Ms. Darrah refers to the land as her “Susanghetti.” . The Susanghetti is home to bears, deer, fox, raccoons, skunk, possum and assorted birds, as well as 5 feral cats, 2 alpaca, an Afghan Hound, and 2 goats to help round it out. it’s a remarkable patch of nature overflowing with life being lived as its meant to. The philosophy of wildlife is simple, survive and multiply. Take advantage of what Mother Earth offers but leave some for the next critter. But that one day Susan spotted a young deer that had overlooked another important wildlife philosophy. Watch out for humans. For whatever reason someone had shot an arrow into the deer. Maybe an accident, maybe a hunter who chose not to follow through by tracking its wounded prey, hopefully not as a prank but an anomaly in the lifescape of Susanghetti to be sure. Proving not all of us are careless or lacking compassion Susan’s human instincts kicked in prompting her to act.
The first thing she did was to photograph the deer she lovingly named Steve Martin, who is famous for his arrow through the head routine among many other comical moments. Her hope was to bring as much attention as possible to deer Steve’s plight. She posted the picture on Facebook and developed a ring of compassionate people following the debacle. Susan gave us daily updates as all of her facebook friends watched helplessly hoping she would have good news one day. She placed calls to anyone and everyone who would listen until finally she made a connection with New Jersey Fish and Wildlife.
With Susan’s cooperation they set up outside the Susanghetti with a plan of rescue. After staking out for two days everyone’s luck changed and Little Steve Martin returned for some eats which Susan supplies. From a window inside a marksman from the New Jersey Fish And Wildlife shot a tranquilizer at Little Steve and successfully sedated him. They remove the arrow which fortunately was a screw point and applied anti-biotic. Once Steve woke up they released him back into the wilds of the Susanghetti. Susan has spotted him a few times coming to feed in the Susanghetti where she leaves food for all her extended family of nature. Little Steve Martin was saved!
I’ve viewed many stories related to the holiday season. People beating each other up over parking spots, trampling each other on black Friday, theft, shots fired at malls, people complaining about prices, and even fights over whether to say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. That’s why this story is such an important story to me, because Susan’s actions define the reason of the season so much better than all the bullshit flashed over the media. So go ahead and enjoy whatever you chose to celebrate, and don’t focus on what you want or what you need to get someone, focus on following the example of a caring and compassionate human being who put a helpless animals concern ahead of her own. Susan has indeed reminded me that while there’s way too much anger and greed in the world, I can choose to surround myself with positive people who perform compassionate selfless good deeds looking for nothing in return.
Thank You Susan, an may you all have a safe and love filled holiday….PEACE

Go to you tube to see her story at……… Deer pierced in face with arrow @ …… http://youtu.be/vkIH8aP4DbU

Drying My Eyes On The Wind

meg walks

22 years ago today was the worst day of my life. The worst day of the worst week of the worst year. Our beautiful 19 month old daughter lost her courageous battle with heart disease. At only two months old Megan was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, an enlargement of the heart. Little Megan endured countless medical tests, blood draws, and a series of stays in hospitals. Through all of those tough times she cried in pain as she squeezed our fingers in desperation yet whenever my wife and I were in need she somehow managed the strength to give us a much needed smile. Megan is my hero.
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One lazy Sunday morning we were just getting ready to enjoy a day of relaxation with Megan when a strange noise crackled over the baby monitor. Maureen knew instantly and instinctively that something was wrong so we both ran up to her room only to find her struggling for breath. I pulled her from her crib and began mouth to mouth having received barely adequate emergency medical training as Maureen desperately dialed 911. An ambulance arrived in extremely rapid timing and two experienced EMT’s took her away from us. We closed up the house making sure everything was off, gave our confused sheltie pup food and ran out to meet her at the hospital. When we got there the ambulance had not yet arrived and we were triaged to a private room. In that room our imaginations got the best of u and through our tears we hoped by some miracle it didn’t mean she was gone. Subsequently we learned that Megan had ha a stroke brought on by her enlarged heart and the EMT’s had stopped to use defibrillation paddles on the way in. Megan was in intensive care with her cardiologist. There is something wrong about a seven month old child having a cardiologist.

meg

Around eleven o’clock, over twelve hours from first arriving the doctors informed us Megan needed a heart transplant. The news hit us hard, an electric shock circling my head then shooting down my spine. It took about two minute for the reality to sink in, and about twenty minute to intellectualize it and understand what we had to contend with next. We spent way too many hours in hospital, Maureen pretty much took up residency in the room with Megan and every free second was spend bedside. The doctors determined they were unprepared for a child heart transplant so Megan was airlifted to Philadelphia to a Children’s hospital. We lived in that hospital for about two months until one day one of the neuro doctors told Maureen that Megan had suffered a seizure and due to her poor chance of “normal” life she was removed from the transplant list. The did not believe she would ever walk or talk. We worked diligently with Megan and finally had her put back on the transplant list at Columbian Presbyterian in New York where she received a heart in September.

We lived in the hospital again for another 30 days me going to work then coming back, Maureen never leaving Megan’s side. The transplant was successful but she still had to endure daily poking an prodding and blood draws. We got to take her home and the feeling of relief was beyond compare. Seven days after being home Megan defiantly walked, and she smiled and was happy. On the eighth day I was at work and Maureen noticed Megan in distress and had to return to the hospital. Megan had contracted a very serious infection and we were back to round the clock care. It was devastating, but the real devastation was yet to come.

Megan was to weak and immuno-compromised to fight off the infection. I am still haunted by the mornings events of that day when I stood by my baby girl. Megan looked up at me with the pain of a million lifetimes in her eyes, still trying so hard to fight but looking exhausted. I knew what I had to do. My baby girl had fought so hard and so courageously not for herself but for us. She had endured countless hours of unpleasant tests and needle probing and she was in intense pain. I placed my hand on her head and looked lovingly into her soul, bent my head to her ear and whispered, “Its okay to let go baby girl. You don’t have to fight anymore.” She understood me as her eyes dampened. With tubes and hoses in her everywhere the only way she could communicate was with her eyes. She looked at me with a profound sadness and her eyes said “I’m sorry Daddy.” But she didn’t have anything to be sorry for, she had taught me more in her short life than I could have taught her in a lifetime. Now it was Maureen and I who were in intense pain. We stood back as a doctor performed his last official task, the beeps slowed to a stop and there was silence. Megan lay there with her eye closed, motionless, yet it was obvious she was relieved. One day I will write a story with this inspiration but for now I can only manage short recaps. Seems every time I recount Megan’s story my keyboard floods with tears and I dry my eyes on the wind.

I’m not looking for a pity party, not looking for condolence, I am merely sharing the story I am sure Megan would want me to. If you want to read the whole story you can visit our Facebook page, Megan Jarets Legacy. All I really hope to accomplish here today is this. Spread the word of organ donation awareness, please become an organ donor if your aren’t already, an please please please, take a few minutes out of your day to tell the people you love exactly how much they mean to you. We never know when an ultimate joy can be snatched from our hearts plunging us into a deep dark crevice. Maureen and I had both on separate occasions considered the possibility of suicide, we were the walking dead for over a month having a hard time finding a reason to go on. The funeral was horrible, a tiny casket with a beautiful child surrounded by her favorite toys and an endless line of well meaning people, most giving us responses that didn’t help a thing. Unfortunately many more have gone there before, many after, and many still to come, but for those still here, before the precious time runs out, share your love. Don’t keep all your love to yourself, spread it around…PEACE