Tomb Of Paradise

tomb

Acrid stench of homicide wafting
Through the blurred hazy smoke of death
Bitter taste of someone’s final conflict
Roaring out putrid fetor like Satan’s breath
Another blood dripping body coughed up
From under the earth in some ritual sacrifice
Filling up all of the grisly vacancies of death
In the tomb of my own paradise

Tentacles of chaos are choking my brain
Stinging its poison into furrows of my cortex
Losing control my once alive body collapses
Thoughts spinning wild in a dizzying vortex
In the end I really hope death is its own reward
But I’m afraid its more a roll of the dice
One of the lucky ones escaping the pain
In the tomb of my own paradise

The final journey in reaching up to the sky
To find the eloquence in dying in vain
If I fail to perish on the day of my reckon
Plenty of time left to keep trying again
Join in the masses of Grateful and dead
If someone could help me cover the price
I’ll do what it takes to walk through the entrance
To the tomb of my own paradise

Misunderstood

costume

No one really knows my chameleon
Am I reelin’ or how I’m really feeling
What I am inside
The me I tend to hide
The me misunderstood
Beneath the darkened hood
Behind the mask I wear
What will my future bear
I wonder
If they lift the mask what’s under

How will I be defined
Once all is left behind
Maligned?
Refined?
Will the foggy reflections from my mirror make it appear any clearer
How they will remember
Worthless dreg of society or just another member
Will the sound of all their claps
Be in mockery of all my mishaps
Perhaps!
Will they say
He was on the dishonor role
He was such a big asshole
Is that what will remain of my name
Ego held in vain
Then again
Maybe at least he tried they’ll say
We really miss him anyway
But truth is he was just a failure
Junkie drug inhaler locked up by society’s jailor
Living fast
Trash without cash

Holding on to an apron string
Never amounted to a thing
Never saved the world like he promised
Never left anyone astonished
Or left his mark
He could have made a journey but he was too lazy to embark
Or maybe they will be more kind
Say he had a genius mind
Dude was somewhat quirky
Sometimes acted kinda jerky
And when it came to being loud he often seemed introverted
But the dude was innovative
Wish I was that creative
Thought outside the box
Played with oddly shapened blocks
Danced to the beat of his own drum
Even though others thought him dumb
Kept on dancing just the same
He wasn’t insane or lame
Respect compassion and love
That’s what he was made of
Maybe he wasn’t perfect but at least he always tried
So beautiful inside
Always had a hand to lend
Tell you one thing that’s for sure I’m proud he was my friend

So in their retrospect:

Will I rise to the top
Or will I be a flop
Failure misunderstood
One who never could
Am I what I was before
What am I remembered for
A shameful disgrace
Forever running in place
Looking up to see down
The life of a clown
Smiling upside down
How will I be remembered
Doesn’t matter why
I was really just a quiet guy
Though I had a lot to say
I didn’t speak it anyway
So what will my legacy say
Not much I’m sure
Some parts bad some parts good
One thing is for sure though
I know it’ll be misunderstood

I Am Me

light

Conceived out of love

Born of distress

Scolded and beaten

Then gentle caress

A work still in progress

Script still unwritten

Running for decades

Twice shy and twice bitten

Took years to create me

For better or worse

The right combination

Of blessing and curse

Once I was a lover, a hater a friend
A beggar a bandit my strong arms to lend
A father and brother even a son
I cheated and lied tried to save everyone
Cleaned or cooked whatever the chore
Did what was needed to even the score
A loser abuser of every drug I could find
A kind hearted servant dulling my mind
I’ve been so many people I can’t keep it straight
I’m forever on time or I’m early or late
But who am I now is not who I was then
Constructed destroyed and built up again

So who am I now

Who was I before

The sum of our parts

Life’s revolving door

The whole of ourselves

Half the battle I’m told

Is what we become

Before we get old

But don’t point at me

With scorn and distain

Or judge which I am

Abel or Cain

Once I was a lover, a hater a friend
A beggar a bandit my shoulder to lend
A father and brother even a son
I cheated and lied tried to save everyone
Cleaned or cooked whatever the chore
Did what was needed to even the score
A loser abuser of every drug I could find
A kind hearted servant dulling my mind
I’ve been so many people I can’t keep it straight
I’m forever on time or I’m early or late
But who am I now’s not who I was then
Constructed destroyed and built up again

Motion gets slower

Limbs they grow weak

Thoughts way too foggy

Can’t get enough sleep

The show must go on

That’s what I hear

The suns going down

And evening is near

But make no excuse

Or answer them why

Be the best of yourself

And hold your head high

Peace

THIS FIRST TIME

first

The bedroom air darkened
Thick with vows of tender love
Young romance in anticipation
Awaiting the moment of two truths
Her truth smiled nervous in my direction
My truth ready to face the ritual of manhood
But it lay in wait shivering like a boy
Excitement and unease looming anxious
Two truths will be discovered on this extraordinary night
The truth of our innocence carted away and buried
Buried deep inside the ardor of this sacred chamber of rapture
Innocence sacrificed in the name of love
In an act of intimacy cherished by two hearts for eternity
Brining us bliss inexpressible yet absolute
The second truth will be the depth our love
Our true and pure love
Which would be brought into conjugal union tonight
This first time
Our first time

My hand trembled from fears of ineptitude
In the call of duty for the passage to manhood
We both tremble slight our experience absent and obvious
Yet willing to conquer the feat with passionate precision
Sheepishly our eyes met in a lasting embrace
Yearning to exchange the fluids of desire
Eternal promises hovered about our tongues
Fragile lips searching for sensual euphoria
Gently our lips touch to savor the taste of our devotions
Brushing light upon each other for an endless second
The endless rapturous second of a lifetime
My ears burned spreading red across my face
Bodies hot with the hunger of passion poised to enter in frenzy
Sheets cheered us on in erotic anticipation
Mattress eager for our arrival

Our mouths opened not needing to speak
Hungrily our tongues battled for pleasure dominion
Two heads exploded in ecstatic fervor
Two bodies struggling to be one
Moaning and breathing too fast and too hard
Applauding each other in delirious ovation
My lifeline solid thick from anticipation
A bit too noticeably I feared
It throbbed with desperation as it caressed her thigh
Softly her chuckle cried out confused for a second
Until grinding undulation cleared my intent
Our hips oscillated exuding enthusiasm unmatched
Loins pleading seductively into an evening of hope
Pulsating signals of soft communication
Avid allegiance of communion
This first time

Clothing departed no longer needed
The light of moon glistened off her silken skin
Our naked bodies stretched for the bed
Her gossamer treasure damp with dew of love
Her desire plying her thighs gently apart
Inviting me inside
Caressing her breast we erased the world
Smiles spread across our lust hungry faces
Lubricious moistness accommodating our union
I entered into her partnership exhilarated beyond description
The perfume of coital paradise encompassed our souls
Our Kismet of rapture
A destiny of fervor
Contentment
Nirvana

Hungrily our bodies clenched sprawling the bed
Warm approval she moaned wet in my ear
Sending shivers electric to every region of my flesh
I promised my affection to be hers forever
Entering and exiting I panted devotion eternal
We rode on the moonbeam to paradise
Hand in hand across Wonderland
Pleased in our rapture so pure
Fruition of love
This first time

We hoped to capture this moment immortal
Yet both driven to the point of release
Softly singing a ballad of love
A salacious duet in search of climax
A zillion volts of energy stirred from my groin
The moment of truth was arriving too swiftly
Lessons of reality giving pause
Awkward nervousness returned as held back
Panting and pleading she begged me back in
But a dangerous outburst lay waiting
I opened a foil packet of cautionary tale
Clumsily rolled the lambskin shield over the eager sword
Then re-entered the gate to the Garden of her Eden
Forbidden fruit plunged deep inside the caverns of love
Excitement unmatched
True love understood
For the first time
This first time

Not ready to take satisfaction
Not wanting to risk losing this moment of glory
This feeling that should never end
We tangoed a slower sexier rhythm
Rocking and yearning with carnal thirst
The vice of love clamped tight our bodies
I inhaled the scent of each pore of her being
Entwined in wonton desires
Pulsing and throbbing into the night
I emptied my essence in thunderous exultation
Unity became an emotion unbridled and free
Screams of pure elation and exhilaration abounding
Sounds and words that could be mistaken for murder
Had deep devotion and love not spoken them so loud
Orgasmic explosions spiraled from within both of our bodies
The zillion volts coursed from deep inside me
And exploded in intense gratification encased in the walls of her labia
Throbbing inside the girl I love
This first love
This true love
This first time

She Cant Remember

dream

She forgot how to cry
Or maybe forgot why
Just cant remember when there was sadness in her eye
The story of her life and every eye is dry

But she remembers how to feel
How all the pain was real
A painful world of weight
No tears will infiltrate
Wishing to remember weeping before it gets too late

Until there no time left to choose
Or tear ducts to defuse
Using booze to pay her dues because she knows she’s gonna lose
Lose as panic nears
To realize her fears
She just can’t seem to remember what its like to shed some tears

Graveyard Of Confusion

grave

The acrid smell of a forced suicide
Mixed with bitter taste of disillusion
Rising in sheets from under my feet
Death in the graveyard of confusion

Laying inside this musky black box
Breathing once tasteless odors of life
Exhaling death with each and every breath
Bearing scars from the Grim Reapers knife

Primordial vomit from deep under the earth
Coughed up in stench from the breath of Satan
Wrapping a putrid and vile solution of bile
In confusion I stared at them vacant

Are they all here to give me a ride
Passenger of death or just an illusion
Confusion reigns king in the suicide ring
Around the graveyard of confusion

Perspective

persp

The righteousness of the righteous can be wicked
Some people stand in judgment without merit
The wickedness of the wicked can be righteous
Judge too quick you sow the wind that you inherit

Perspective
Walk a mile walk a mile
Perspective
One is wholesome one is vile
Take some strides before throwing knives
Investigate yourself
Don’t assume you know their lives
Educate yourself
People are not always what they seem
One persons nightmare is another’s dream
Could be a whisper could be a scream
Perspective

The generosity of the generous may be corrupt
Donations often seeking motive ulterior
The grinning funny clown may not be happy
The smile on his face just painted on the exterior

The plight of all homeless is not based in lazy
Not all choices come off silver platters
The woman out begging may not need a fix
Its their struggle to keep living that matters

Perspective
Walk a mile walk a mile
Perspective
One is wholesome one is vile
Take some strides before throwing knives
Investigate yourself
Don’t assume you know their lives
Educate yourself
People are not always what they seem
One persons nightmare is another’s dream
Could be a whisper could be a scream
Perspective

If you can help, help. No one needs your judgment and you don’t know or understand their lives. Don’t lend a hand because it’s the holidays, lend a hand because you can, because people matter. PEACE