Say My Name

 

 

You can say my name
But who am I really
What am I supposed to be
One thing for sure
I’m not a name
That’s not who I am
It’s a title assigned to me
By Mom and Dad
That’s how I came to be me
So who am I really?
A silk sheet thought
One fleeting random moment
A consequence of love
Shared by my parents
An accident of birth
You can say my name
But I’m much more than a title
Much more than a belief
I’m the only thing I could ever be
Something relevant
Just me
The one thing I will always be

Say my name but I won’t answer it’s just a term a verbal cancer of a terminal dancer or a necromancer out on his luck. I’m just a dumbstruck shmuck stuck on a shelf by myself, not some someone else but me. Don’t you see, what else could I be? Although many believed they could change me. Rearrange the stranger in me but its plain to see that only caused a derangement in me. Who’s to blame for all this shame? If it’s you…..Say my name

What’s my name
Monsieur insane
Homme sans cranium
A brainless geranium
What do I possess
All I have is an insignificant title
A given name and too much time
Straddled with faded memories
I try to hold on to my past
Hoping it may last
But it slips through my fingers
Pleading with me to forget
The memories needn’t even ask
I don’t want them
Memories cause sadness
Create melancholy madness
Yet they exist in me
On file
They do nothing but mock
Why shouldn’t they
They’ve done their task
They added to my being
They poisoned my well
Now they whisper my name
If only they could see behind the pain
Hear the screams of my fearful darkness
Feel the fires that burn through my soul
Maybe they would understand why I wish to forget
Know why I rail with constant regret
I wish I could delete them
But I live in their moments

I try to put that shit behind me but my ghosts always seem to find me, keep trying to define me or even realign me and try to destroy my virility. My natural ability doesn’t win me nobility but showing humility as I use it with civility. My good deeds bring me tranquility while I patiently wait the oncoming senility. That’s our brains delete button. One day I’ll even forget my name. I’m an enigma with shitty stigma if you hear me I can dig ya but I’m serious man I’m a mysterious man a delirious man without a clear plan. Life keeps maiming my brain make me believe I’m not sane allowing some demons to cause me shame and I know this sounds lame but if you need someone to blame it can be only one person……..Say My Name

Live and Love in Peace

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T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE FESTIVUS

 

A Festivus visit
J.T. Hilltop

T’was the night before Festivus
When all through the house
The computer was buffering
I lost the wireless mouse

The gluten free cupcakes were baked with such care
In the hopes that the end of GMO was soon near
The children ate sugar free Nestles they had snuck in their beds
As visions of organic plums danced in their heads

Mom in sexy teddy who was straddling my lap
Had just bound my hands with our Festivus strap
When down in the kids room there arose such a clatter
I uncuffed and got dressed to see what was the matter

Away towards the window I flew like a flash
Dropping my medicine and my now legal stash
It fell on the breast of the new fallen snow
I watched in paranoia as my weed fell below

When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear
A hallucination of Gramps and eight tiny reindeer
Like a leprechaun in red so lively and quick
I knew in a moment my eyes played a trick

A rainbow of eagles his coursers they came
He yelled at all eight and he called them by name
Yo Bashful yo Sleepy yo Doc and yo Sneezey
Hey Dopey and Grumpy and Happy and Sleezy

Hidden in the dresser where Mom hides her thong
Now dash away dash away while I get my bong
Then in a twinkling they climbed onto the roof
A dancing red leprechaun this must be a goof

I took a hit off the bong and was turning around
I opened my hand my pipe dropped to the ground
The dude dressed in faux fur from his head to his foot
He as laughing so hard he never noticed the soot

Bundles of sweet buds there on top of his back
Just like a drug peddler carrying a big fucking sack
His eyes how they twinkled, and his dimples they sank
His cheeks red as roses but his stare was so stoned it was blank

His droll little mouth drawn up like a joke
His beard on his chin was snow white from good coke
The stump of a chamber pipe he clenched in his teeth
Second hand smoke circled my head like a wreath

He had a broad face and a middle aged belly
I aired my first grievance “Yo Santa you’re smelly”
He was also too chubby quite a right fat old elf
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
He rolled a sweet fatty he bought from a dread
He spoke not a word but played his big role
In the middle of the room placed an aluminum pole

With a feat of strength placed a finger to his nose
An sniffed up more coke through a dollar bill hose
His grievances he aired till his team blew the whistle
And feats of great strength had broken the thistle
But I heard him exclaim the aluminum pole out of sight
Happy Festivus to all, and to all a good night

Enjoy whatever holiday you celebrate but take time to love. If someone says Merry Christmas say thanks, if someone says Happy Hanukkah say thanks, if someone says Happy Kwanzaa say thanks or if they want to honor all and say Happy Holidays say thanks. Be grateful anyone is willing to share good tidings or acknowledge your well being in anyway be grateful because the message is the same…. Live and Love in Peace during this and every other season!!!! Don’t hold onto love, share it….