The Story Of My Main Man

 

 

Time can be cruel by suffocating us in our recollections of youth but it can also shine a reflective light on our accomplishments. Today my son, a husband and father, has seen his 36th full trip around the sun and celebrates another Natal Anniversary, which in and of itself is not necessarily an accomplishment. The relationship we forged and his successes are an accomplishment to me Like a fine wine our relationship has matured into an exceptionally superb full bodied tale that sates the souls of our camaraderie. As most fathers will agree it was complicated at times but the result for us is a father and son connection offering richness in flavor and bursting with a floral aroma’s of love. I think more of him as my favorite mate than merely a result of half my DNA. The love of a father and son has matured to the point of best friends. His story is one of success and happiness, a devouring of life that satisfies his essence and fills him with gratification and verve that never ceases to fill my heart with pride. Happy Birthday Little cool Man…..

The Story Of My Main Man
When my final chapter is written
And my story becomes history
My son will be a large part of it
The boy who shaped me into a father
The youth who fashioned my patience
Forged my boundaries of tolerance
A young man who challenged me
Allowing me to grow into fatherhood
How do you thank someone for that?
Simply for being themselves
When I’m gone maybe some will tell my tale
It will be the story of who I was
What I became
And my son will have a big role
His life will be all about me
That’s a lie!
The real truth is
I will be a small part of his glory story
The man who whispered to him to be true
Sent him out to carve his own history
The story of a boy who became a man
Forging his own path in a forest of thickets
Overcoming the dangers of treacherous waters
To become a man with head held high
A story that should be mandatory teaching
A tale that should be shouted across the universe
The song of a boy who challenged his own limits
A young lad who overcame the perils of his parents
A great father
A great husband
A great human being
A modern male Cinderella who controlled his destiny
If pride is a commodity I am so rich for having you
You are wealth beyond my imagination
I would prefer being full with your love
To all the riches I ever dreamt of
And believe me, I have dreamed plenty
If I could borrow from my own future
I would gladly give my time to him
So I thank you my son for being you
And having me be a part of your story

So that’s my son. My main man who taught me at least as much as I taught him and then more, who is now my best friend. I could never repay you for all you have given me, and all I have ever really had is words, so I am giving you these three words for you to keep, three words of mine which you will forever own, and forever have dominion over. I give these three words freely….I Love You
Happy Birthday Justin

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THE VERITAS

 

 
There is no reward for hatred
Yet so many stand in its shadow
Rising in their self spirituality
To serve as the executioner
In the name of a religion
Such ignorance!
Religion is a set of principles
Spirituality is whats in the heart
The murder of innocence has no chamber
In any heart nor any principle
So you worship a religion with it’s heart removed
Leaving you only hate, anger, and cowardice
Never do your own bidding in the name of any God
For it is only evil that shall gladly embrace you
And yet here we are again today
Having to grieve for strangers
Because we and they are human
And love and pain fill our hearts together
I convey my love and thoughts to the UK this day
Because you all suffer collectively
For the loss of unimaginable hurt
The loss of true innocence
Looking to live out an evening of fantasy
Filled with joy and love
Only to be forced to live a lifetime cut short
In the name of a twisted ideology
I love you my brothers and sisters suffering
Together we shall make a show of strength
Again
I pray that love will always win over hate
But I fear my heart shall be bruised once more

 

 

She Smiles At The World

 

She looks so alive
She seems so revived
The truth is she hurts
Feels dead inside
Beneath all the make up are the bruises she hides
The scars on her soul that have broken her pride
She’s alone on this ride and abused until she cries
Still she denies and buys into his lies
Her world so unsteady about to erupt
Using his fists the hits don’t let up
The man she once loved just can’t get it up
Until seeing her cry with her life in disrupt
Sobbing in pain pleading in vain
It gets him off to see her restrained
A life arcane drenched and Bloodstained
Each time he swears he won’t do it again
Without her permission he implants his emission
He gets fruition with her in submission
The life she once loved is coming unfurled
Gathers her hair and smiles at the world

No one can hear her soft supplication
The mental deflation from profound humiliation
So she lies with him naked in stony sedation
Feigning her love for his sexual elation
Numb from the punches and numb from dejection
Closing her eyes in religious reflection
Faiths all she has in profound introspection
He knows how to hit to avoid any detection
Punching her gives him a rising erection
Blood in his face gives him reddening complexion
But something goes wrong
It never stays hard it doesn’t last long
So the hits keep on coming
Rude crude and lewd
An extra fist pump if she shows attitude
Embraced but alone in her own solitude
All alone she won’t let anyone in
The price she must pay for living in sin
Minute by minute her life comes uncurled
Gathers her strength and smiles at the world
The thin line between love and hate
Thins evermore after just the first date
A cycle of violence
A reign of terror
Loving a monster
Treacherous error
The dickless coward
Feels so empowered
Facing a man would cause him to cower
He’s mud on her shoes
A fungus that grows
He’s just gotta go
Girl its now or never…..
He’ll never stop hitting
You’ve got to be clever
He’s a stain on your lifeline
Isn’t even worth shitting
Not to mention
Ain’t worth one single drop
Of your love and affection
But she never runs away
Can’t break their connection
More painful than the violence
Are the wounds on her soul
So deep have they become
The scars haven’t time grow old
She believes she deserves it
So she fashions a smile
Wears it like a mask
To cover a seizure
Creates an amnesia
Her lone anesthesia
But make no mistake
Its not a weakness but a strength
This warrior girl
Tries to shield us from the dread
The realities of abuse
In a smoldering bed
What can she do
To make life seem worthwhile
But go out in the world
And give it her smile
She smiles at the world
Not because she’s weak
She smiles so we don’t feel her pain
So don’t turn away
Smile in return
Offer a kind word
Maybe even confide
She smiles at the world
Because she hurts deep inside

Justify

 

 

They tell me I should testify
Justify why I’m still alive
They believe by now I must’ve died
But I’m still here to classify
A life that should have passed on by
Is going strong though compromised
So I use my words to justify
The reasons I haven’t gone and died:

 

I believe there was a day
I believe there was a time
I had good reason to stay alive
A cause to justify a life unwise
Because I was the waterfalls
Cascading ashes in to the stream
Then washed away in a watery mist
Where lust for life dries and withers
Like morning dew stretching at dawn
Or just maybe I was waiting for my turn
To fall upon my own mistakes
Slipping in my search for salvation
Over the stick I found in a sanctuary
The perch of forgotten sins
For a life left unlived to its fill
While singing the praises
To the Wizard of my soul
An artist painted my portrait
In matter of gray vagueness
Where dreams are folded away
And reality rules night and day
No fucking way
I’ll pay my own way
Tell my own story

Sing my own song
And dance my own dance
I will testify and justify

My Testament
Why?
Why haven’t I died?
Broke all the rules made a fool of the fools
Misused my tools while filling salt pools
I denied the guy who stands on high
With a sacred smile I walked on by
Maybe I shoulda given him a try
Given the big guy a chance
But I oh so loved the Devils dance
Had me in a trance inside
So I chose another as my guide
And I also made my children cry the tears they couldn’t hold inside
Left them without a place to hide yet I’m still alive
Why haven’t I died?
Perhaps I never really tried
I wish I could have told them why
So I lie
But why should they have to listen
I buried my murky bones of misgiving
Below a mountain of the living
Showed compassion and gift giving
After payment of some heavy lifting
So I try
I to justify…
My lust of lies
My acting fly
Loving the nights that got me high
That got me by
So I don’t die
Why should I?
We grab on desperately to each of our yesterday’s
But what are yesterdays but tomorrows today’s
Not that it matters anyway when destiny gets in our way
The worlds a stage and life is the play
I’m the leading role and that’s okay
I’m staying around for one more day
To take my bow before I go away