Five Cold Stages

meg walks

DENIAL

It didn’t happen
She cried, tell me its not true
I’m not ready to say good by, there’s so much left for us to try

She’s gone
I cried, taken away
I just want to hold you tight, rocking in my arms tonight

We miss her
She should still be here for sure, our baby girl safe and secure
Didn’t want to say good by

ANGER

I’m angry
She cried, whys it have to be
She was strong the loss will numb me, you had no right to take her from me
I want her back

I Hate you
I cried, you call yourself a god
I had my doubts before you stole her, let me hold her and console her
I deny you

BARGAIN

I swear
She cried, its not too late
Turn back time and let me get her, promise this time I’ll do much better
I’ll do anything

My fault
I cried, maybe if I prayed up high
If worship could make her not be sick I’d build a church brick by brick
Then tear it down cause it’s a lie

SORROW

I feel so sad
She cried I love her so
Take a pill to ease my plight, cry myself to sleep each night
I’ve never felt such pain

I want to die
We cried, we miss her so
What’s the reason we should live, our only child we had to give
It makes no sense

SURRENDER

That’s life
They cried, now go live yours
Another child’s world soon will start, who’ll need your love and guiding heart
Still we want to die

Move on
They cried, the pain will leave
Pain never seems to go away, we ache from scars everyday
Time heals nothing

Psychologist call the last stage acceptance, but its not acceptance but surrender. My heart will never accept a reason for my baby girl not being with me but I surrender to the fact that I can’t change what is. Take the time today to tell those you love just how much they mean to you before time sneaks away.

Megan Laurine Jaret, we miss you everyday. Today we should be celebrating your 24th birthday, instead I’m here typing through the teardrops on my keyboard trying still to figure a way to cope without you. Time never heals, it only teaches you a way to manage through your days. In the short time you shared your life with us you taught us more than anyone should need to learn. I’d give up everything to have you back. Since you’ve been gone life has become more difficult, but every time I believe I can no longer go on you fill my heart with your presence and help me survive. I truly have no idea if there is a god, if angels exist, or if there is some higher plan, but I do know that in this vast mysterious universe there are powers that defy logic, forces that unseen can make us strong. Megan is my force, and that force is in my heart with every breath I take. The strength of your love is what keeps me going, I only wish we could be going together. I love you my Little Little

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2 thoughts on “Five Cold Stages

  1. Wow – this is truly moving and so very true of grief. My heart is with you two today. You are two of the strongest and kindest people I know.

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