WHAT IF

 

A metaphoric chance meeting
A cliché reuniting yesterdays love
Two hearts that once beat together
Cashing in on one of fates offers
After thousands of unshared sunsets
So many that came and went unnoticed
Now two proverbial ships clash
I saw my childhood love by chance
We began to share our histories
So many years have passed yet…
Seems not a day of that on her face
What else but fate could have brought this
An opportunity to explore what if
What if we had shared our lives
What if we had never parted ways
What if we had lived our dreams
What if……

What if you stayed and we prayed and made the life we weighed instead of the charade we played which ended in a relationship delayed and decayed? What if you gave me one more chance and we expanded the romance and danced to enchantment, took a stance, one more ride on that promised moonbeam. Plans and schemes for a love supreme. That was our dream. However it seems this memory is just a fantasy because you see… We both have responsibilities to our spouses and our families so we must choose to let this be, nothing more than a wish unredeemed. Anyway who cares, what does it matter, what’s the diff. Then again…..what if
What if we had stayed together, built a happy life together. A house a home a picket fence, some kids some pets, no regrets living the suburbs and all the rest.
But then again what if we stayed the course affected by a dissonant force creating cheating and sexual discourse? Ending in a bitter divorce. Anger hatred bleeding sorrows terminating our tomorrows. Or not

That was then and we are here now
A night to share one magical chance
We shared a bottle of sweet memories
Numbing the pains that lost time brings
The familiar touch upon my hand
Eyes searching to find forbidden pleasure
Our lips begging for one more reverie
One last delusional trip to speculation
Anything is possible in a dream
And a door once left unlocked
May be stepped in from either side
Maybe if we both open up that door
We can be soothed hearing the echoes of love
Bouncing and tumbling or crumbling across time
The train whistles a warning of truth
We had both chosen out own fate
Its far too late

I can’t count the hours spent in distain, torturing myself with no self restraint. Pelting my mistake with drugs and with sorrow. Living in misgivings for giving up on tomorrow. Treated her shitty when life became gritty. I bathed in Self pity, moved to the city nearly drowned in my trance. Always thought I’d get one more chance, one more opportunity to show some romance. We both found a life, husband and wife and to ruin that now would cause nothing but strife. Cause it’s not just us two. There are children involved and our lives have evolved.. I felt broken hearted in waters uncharted because nothing gets finished if it doesn’t get started. But I’ll always wonder…
What if we had never parted

With a passionless kiss we said farewell
Best to leave it as old friends this night
What never really was can never be
Time seems to travel so damn fast
If you don’t pay attention so much goes unlived
I have negotiated too many wrong turns
And sometimes it seems it will never stop
I know that not to be true for I fear one thing
I am nearing it’s end so must listen to reason
Reason tell me a love lost is gone forever
But I choose not to listen to reason
You never lose what you hold in your heart
I have been through too many rotations
Seen things on this earth not possible
Yet somehow negotiated through blind faith
So I shall close my eyes and believe in one thought
Anything is possible
What if

Live and Love in Peace

 

 

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YOU CAN GET ANYTHING YOU WANT

 

One of the main attributes of any good hippie is buying into the concept of non conformity. We were down with counterculture, down with breaking traditions, down with zippers, free love, and expensive weed. Tha said, many of us did indeed hold on too, and some of us still do hold onto a Hippie Tradition every November. Alice’s Restaurant is our beloved Hippie tradition and just about anywhere you go in the country you can find a radio station playing Alice’s Restaurant Massacree at 12 Noon on Thanksgiving day. It’s written and sung by Arlo Guthrie based on a true story about a hippie commune celebrating love and life on Thanksgiving Day along the hilarity and banality of events that followed. With a touch of creative license Arlo lays down a folk song with a tale guaranteed to make every true hippie smile. The tune lasts for 18 and a half minutes but for us aging rebels it goes way deeper than just a funny song, it’s a memory of an era. A golden memory. I know this story is very similar to many other potheads of my era but this is how the tradition I still uphold began for me….

As soon as I turned 18 I made good on my threat to move out of my parents house so I wouldn’t have to follow all the ridiculous rules while I was “Under our roof” in the authoritarian gospel according to Dad. So now I’m on my own in a shitty basement apartment in Kings Park with my hair no longer an issue to deal with on an hourly basis. Finally able to indulge in herbal activities without needing to be by an open window while burning incense. But I still had to go to Thanksgiving dinner at home because I didn’t move far enough away, and you just couldn’t say no to Mom. I was at the age where family get togethers were more of a torture once you’re no longer sitting at the kids table. That didn’t mean I had to go there unenhanced.

I invited my closest friends over for a pre T-day dinner soiree to get us all in the right frame mind to combat the inevitable bevy of put downs and why can‘t you‘s. So I told them to come on over around 11,we’ll smoke a few bowls and listen to Alice’s Restaurant on the radio. That’s how I sold it and the response was overwhelming. Eight of my closest friends stopped by and each had their own version of temperament enhancing herb. So we sat in the living room of my basement apartment, which of course was also my bedroom, rumpus room, den, and dining room. We sat around on milk crates and bean bag cushions passing chamber pipes, chillums, sticks of Thai, and even a well weathered meerschaum pipe. We were all feeling exceptionally good and listened to Alice’s Restaurant on our rock station. As usual it had us all laughing and grooving without any thoughts to what lay ahead with the family function. Each of us had reasons to not want to go to our homes for thanksgiving, most because we would get the litany of when are you gonna cut your hair?, what college are you going to?, why do you dress like that?, you call that music?, anything to put us down in front of the family. Not wanting to make the convergence into fake family fun all of my friends stayed until 2 o’clock and left my humble basement room feeling like we could take anything our families had to give. Although none of us were truly sure our feet were on the ground we trudged of with our smiles surgically implanted on our faces laughing for no reason whatsoever. As each person left we swore to do it again next year, same time.

Thanksgiving dinners became so much more bearable that day and the tradition continued the following year. By year three, two of the group had moved away, I had moved four towns away, and life began to just sort of happen. By year four it was two friends, each of us with our girlfriends, and after five years all of us had gone our separate ways but promised to keep up the tradition wherever we were. This year at least two of our original group have passed away, another two are just missing by choice, one doesn’t speak with me anymore, and of the other three I’m still in touch with one thanks to Facebook. Every year since I have listened to a radio at noon wherever I am and reflected on the friendships both lost and sustained and have found other friends who do the same thing. These days I no longer reflect on the eight revelers in particular, but all my friends and acquaintances from that era, some whom I have reconnected with on social media, some better left in my past, and all those who have passed.

So every year, I celebrate the epoch of the best people that ever lived, my hippie friends from the early chapters of my life, new hippie friends who lived through similar times, and other people who just love to hear Alices Restaurant each Thanksgiving. That’s what I‘m thankful for… Friendships, love, and a shared desire for peace and equality . My computer will be streaming Alices tomorrow at noon on Q104.3… Tune in and Turn on!! Have a fantastic Thanksgiving Day…. Live and Love in Peace

Conspiracy Theory

conspiracy

 

 

Shhhh
Someone’s listening
They always are
Surreptitiously
Reading emails
Tapping phones
Analyzing words
Reading my mind
Subliminal control
Threw away the microwave
Maybe they’re in my TV
Or in my laptop
Burrowing like moles
The government
Collecting data
Another eavesdrop

 

Tin foil hats, alternate facts, telling us this when we know it’s that. What the fuck is that about? I want them quiet but the voices shout. The NSA is watching out spying lying and causing doubt.
A fly in the ointment like an annoying clairvoyant who deploys their poison as an employment of their enjoyment, surreptitious and vicious and downright pernicious. With a drone in control they patrol an annoy ya till you bust with paranoia designed to destroy ya. I implore ya to get a lawyer before you’re no more.

 

 

Doomsday preppers
Gas masks
Bomb shelters
The enemy within
Ready for war
Let the end begin
Waiting in judgment
Armageddon beckons
The Rapture begins
The world in wreckage
Climate change is a hoax
Just an icecap melting
Pelting and welting
Disregarding pi
Phony flag fly
On lunar surface
Fake moon landing
UFO’s have no standing
Alien museum
Area 51
Beware of your government
They’re closing in
They fucking know who I am
Another scam
It’s a systemic violation by the Illuminati nation
Killing me subliminally
Second by second

They weave a conspiracy without a shred of coherency if you don’t believe me come here and see me . A life dreary inside a conspiracy but my hallucinations seem so real to me and oh so near and dear to me that sometimes I feel that I’m Timothy tripping Leary. MK Ultra prey of US vulture. A controversial universal hurdle giving purple nurples. Who and why keep on making those Goddam crop circles?

 

 

Templar Knights
Freemason secrets
Removing our rights
Bilderberg agenda
Money is king
Outlook is bleakness
No brass ring
Cross and bones
Conspiracy freak out
I see a pattern
No
I see many patterns
Don’t trust a soul
People act like I’m crazy
But I still wonder
Is the holocaust real
Or right wing thunder
Is it in my head
Is my brain creating danger
Is Paul really dead
Was J man in a manger?
Happy birthday Mr. President
Did you sleep with Marylyn
Smoke pot with Andy Warhol
Maybe try heroin?
Who was on that grassy knoll
Was it the FBI or CIA
Mafia or NRA
Did the KGB blow John away
Did Ruby silence everyone’s play

 

Who killed Kennedy us or our enemy? Maybe it was it a mafia remedy?
Doc says I’m just susceptible but that just isn’t acceptable, that‘s completely imperceptible. But drugs make it acceptable so I eat five pills to help me chill. The theories fade I’ve had my fill, these theories will not strip my will. But still…… the possibilities make me ill. I no longer know what’s truth….or what’s just theory. That makes me teary…..

Live and Love in Peace

 

An Existential View Of Creation (A JT Hilltop Twisted Tale)

 

Adam, Eve, A Snake, and A Not So Immaculate Conception

In the beginning the Creator invented seven time periods. He was tired so he made each one 24 hours and called it a day. After a good nights rest the Creator then placed Adam in a garden, yanked out one of his ribs and created the easily fooled Eve to keep him company (as if). The Creator made Eve without the snake appendage that was supplied to Adam so it was decided more of those egg chasing snakes should flourish in the garden. The Cobra leader of those slivering salacious heat seeking missiles had the ability to talk and loved to flirt. This snake was quite a player. A forked tongue sweet talker he was selling his snake oil in exchange for a little piece of fruit. An apple you Weinstein perverts! At any rate (usually based on the hour) this high end slinking pimp of a snake wanted to make a deal with Eve. The very second the deal was consummated Adam fell down. Yes my brothers and sisters, the fall of Man. That’s the story of the Garden Of Eden as I remember it, but what if……….

Went To A Garden Party
In the beginning a number of tribes existed in an area we now call the Middle East. The so-called “fertile crescent” housed two tribes which stood out amongst all other colonies. They had become far more advanced than most other tribes beyond opposable thumbs. These two communities had differing methods of survival both using reason and logic. One tribe, The Aggies, learned how to manipulate the vegetation and grow it at will using soil, sun and water. They were prolific growers who planted the seeds of society. Oh yea, they also planted Cannabis, Wheat, Alfalfa, and a variety of Vegan deliciousness that way in the future would give hipsters GMO free orgasms. The other tribe, The Shepherds, learned how to manipulate the cattle and sheep, goats, and the occasional Chupacabra and penned them up creating a seemingly endless supply of milk, meat, and bestiality. (Lets not even go there) They were prolific manipulators. These two tribes habituated a very large botanical section called the Garden of Eden. Truth be told they did not like each other, but they used their logic and reason to devise treaties and form boundaries which they agreed not to cross. So it was agreed the Aggies could live in the North Eden, and the Shepherds in South Eden. The tribes kept to themselves and all was peaceful and both were prosperous. That is until one seemingly insignificant incident set of a series of events that would change the world forever.
It was a beautiful late morning day in the Garden of Eden when a young male Aggie named Adam decided to take a walk in the forbidden area. The forbidden area was smack dab in the middle of the garden and was chock full of colorful vegetation and mysteries that both Aggies and Shepherds agreed to never entertain. That was their buffer, a patch of land untouched and unused by man. But Adam was a curious adventurous young man with a strong desire to explore, along with other desires he didn’t yet understand. Ergo it wasn’t unusual for Adam to be traveling into the agreed upon DMZ (Don’t Masturbate Zone) but on this particular day Adam came across a small waterhole in which a young lady was bathing in the nude. Not recognizing her from his tribe he assumed she must belong to the Shepherds. Those slightly whiter skinned people who smelled of animal shit which was oddly alluring at times. At first he was turned off by her exoticness but when he looked closely at her he noticed something strange. Aside from her large woman bumps she looked much like he did only fairer in skin and hair but without the appendage that ruled his emotion. She had a pale complexion but much of her face was obscured by long bouncing colorless curls of thick hair. He liked the way her hair looked across her face allowing only her eyes of turquoise which sparkled like evening stars and a tiny button like nose above thick full lips. He began to get a tingling in his loins because he found her oddly attractive. He became entranced as she bathed, water glistening off her white full breasts. The sight of her cherry red nipples made his stomach a tad queasy. But not a bad queasy. He spied her with great delight and even began to wonder if she was like the women of Aggies in other ways. He felt that youthful familiar rising in his loins that cause men to lose control of their senses. He began to wonder if she enjoyed the pleasures of sex in the same manner women of his tribe had enjoyed him. He imagined making wild unbridled passionate love to her. Considering the times perhaps it was bridled sex, but whatever, she made him hard and horny as all….. For lack of a better term, all Hell.
Now he had a specials reason to sneak off to the forbidden place. After quickly finishing his chores each day he would sneak down to the waterhole hoping for a salacious viewing. He watched from the trees as she bathed herself getting himself more horny each day. He stared in awe until one day he got up enough nerve to confront her. “Young maiden of the Shepherds, why do you come to the forbidden place each day by yourself?” The young maiden pretended to be alarmed even though she had been aware of his hiding and staring since his first visit. Frankly, she was just as curious as he was, also experiencing tingles and just as curious about inter-tribal sex. “I come here to bath myself, not to be stared at by an Aggie. Why do you come here every day to stare at me?” The young Aggie gave this some thought, because quite frankly he wasn’t sure himself why he was here. “ I come not to stare at you but to explore the area and determine if the land is fit for growing” he lied. The young maiden blushed slightly when she saw the lust in his dark brown eyes. “Are you sure it is the land you wish to explore? It seems to me you are looking at my body and I believe that is not vegetation I see growing under your loincloth” The audacious young maiden gave him a look that offered more a challenge than a venting of distain. She blinked her eyes at him and something strange happened. He felt a Funny feeling in his stomach as though the seeds he used to grow things themselves were festering from within. He boldly chose to accept the challenge. “It is true that I have gazed upon you and appreciate the uh….. The unusual beauty you possess. Indeed I was hoping perhaps you were an Aggie and perhapswould be my maiden.” The Aggie could feel his entire body shaking and the young Shepherd maiden did not back away. She moved closer to the Aggie. “I am a Shepherd woman, not a dirt laden Aggie maiden. And you young Aggie stud, you are filled with dirt from your farming. If I were to ever consider being a maiden to the like of you I would expect you to be clean. Why don’t you come in here and allow me to bathe you?” It was more of an order than an invitation but that was of no consequence because he had already made his mind up as to where he was headed and his manhood was pointing the way. He approached the watering hole with a mere modicum of trepidation. She held out her hand and he accepted, and the both of them shuddered ever so slightly. He dropped his loincloth and revealed the growth underneath it was indeed not vegetation yet ripe for the picking. He stepped naked into the waterhole beside her. For five minutes they stared and cleansed each other, eyes sparkling with curious wonder. The Aggie closed his eyes and allowed this maiden, this Shepherd woman to touch him all over. When she got down to washing below his waist he was surprised to discover how eagerly his body was responding. The maiden held his solid manpole in her hand. “Methinks my Aggie that you have something other than bathing on your mind.” Unable to form an actual word, the Aggie grabbed the maiden in his arms and laid a big fat spit swapping kiss on her using his tongue muscle very skillfully. This was something new to the maiden, and at first she wanted to pull back. However, once she realized how good the tongue tango felt, she greedily sucked his tongue into her mouth and allowed the saliva filled dance to continue. Well I don’t have to tell you what happened next. Sparks flew and fluids oozed, and soft moaning was the only form of communication. Of course the two lovers understood they braved the scorn of their fellow tribe members by allowing their naked bodies to exchange these biological fluids. But it felt so crazy good they did indeed continue to explore each other and exchange passion and bodily fluids. Four times. It wasn’t until after the fourth round of carnal explorations led to exhaustion that they even introduced themselves to each other. “I am called Adam, which means man.” To which the maiden replied, “Indeed Adam, you are quite the man. More so than any Shepherd I have ever known. My name is Eve, which means life.” With a big fat satisfied grin Adam replied, “Indeed Eve, you have breathed life into me unequaled by any other Aggie I have ever known.”
So Adam and Eve began to meet each other every day and made love like a couple of school kids. But all was not so good back at the tribes. The other Aggies were beginning to get suspicious because Adam never ever seemed to be dirty. How could anyone work the soil all day yet remain free of dirt. And back at the Shepherds they began to get suspicious because Eve was always whistling and showed no interest in even the most handsome of Shepherds. Now it just so happened that the leader of each tribe sent someone to follow their respective suspected tribe violators on the very same day. Once at the watering hole, the Aggie spy hid in the north woods, and the Shepherd spy hid in the south woods. At first the spies were appalled and shocked. But Adam and Eve were both so very sexually talented, and each brought new tricks specific to their tribes that it became more of a show. I believe at least one, perhaps even both had become so excited while watching that they pleasured themselves before retuning to the tribe leaders to give the reports.
The tribe leaders were livid. Furious! How could this possibly happen? It was the most outrageous act that had ever occurred. They both paced, in different colonies yet somehow in unison, until the sinners returned to their folds. The minute Adam returned to the Shepherd village he was grabbed by the biggest and strongest Aggies and brought before the leader. “Adam, I am quite disappointed”, he said, “You have disrespected every member of our tribe by engaging in this disgusting act with a Shepherd woman.” Adam didn’t answer, he just stood there looking sheepish, which for an Aggie was another no no. “You’re despicable act has left me with no other choice. You shall be banned forever from the garden of Eden. Go now, get out and never return. Take your Shepherd slut with you!” Adam sadly walked to his hut to gather his belongings. Inside he saw his best and now only friend. “How did he find out” he asked of this friend. “Well Adam, you were spied on by Cain. He followed you and reported back to the leader.” Adam shook his head and mumbled, “Cain, of course. I should have guessed. That shit spreading farmer is gonna pay for this someday.” And with that, Adam left towards the waterhole hoping to see Eve there one last time.
Eve of course had a similar experience, and she too was permanently banned from the Garden of Eden. Eve was certain it was Abel that had spied on her as Abel had always tried putting the moves on her but she forever denied his advances. Reluctantly she too had to leave, and also chose to have one last look around the sexually charged waterhole in hopes that somehow Adam might be there. As luck would have it, which luck often does in tales, they met at the very same moment and exchanged stories of banishments.
So hand in hand Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden forever, Adam holding in his free hand the apple the Aggie farmer had grown for her, and eve holding in her free hand Adams snake, which Eve had so totally and completely tamed. So from this little tale of debauchery and scandal, many another story was begot……. TBC
Live and Love in Peace

HOPE PEBBLES

 

There was a time
Seems like ages ago
When things appeared clear
There was hope and a dream
That people of all color
Race religion or orientation
Could live in peace
Maybe I was too naïve
Maybe I was too full of promise
Maybe I was a dreamer
But I believed
Back when I was young
I believed in life
Back when I was young
I believed in peace
Back when I was young
I cared
Tossed pebbles of hope into the sea of confusion
Just to watch the ripples
Ripples of freedom
I believed
Now I look at the man in my mirror
He looks sad
He no longer see’s the ripples
He no longer tosses pebbles
He looks like he gave up
But a closer view
Into his noble eyes
He is merely tired from belief
Massacres will do that
Rivers of blood and no one is building a bridge
But deep down in my heart of hearts I know
That even the smallest ripple
Charged with positive energy
Can make the difference
I didn’t give up
I looked away
My eyes filled with clouds
It took too many life experiences
Too many bad choices
To get where I am now
But I did learn from those ripples
I have maintained one life rule
Never make an enemy out of anyone
Sometimes it’s hard to live by
Sometimes it’s the only way that matters
But I think it makes sense
Without enemies we can truly live
If we live for today
We invest in tomorrow
I never fully understood this before
Never heard the proper words sung
Yet I truly believed in love
Back when I was young
I’m gonna grab me some new pebbles

Switch it up now…..

The new social media landscape full of hype flight and escape is trying to reshape or undrape our opinions through digital tape showing us the way we had better take. A step to the future where children are hugged not numbed out or drugged and people have trust our phones aren’t bugged but I think its too late…. We’re fucked because Atlas has shrugged.
We scream out political views whichever side we choose I hate him he hates you is that true or fake news. What we will lose? I mean how much abuse are we able to absorb? Seems We’re cruising to an apocalyptic bruising like pathetic losers. Constitutional misuse by abusers and willful accusers abusing the snoozers. Become a refuser.
Join the resistance be one of the rebels’ grab a handful of pebbles toss them in the sea until the ripple settles
And hope will be leveled, not disheveled or unsettled but real…
You think cause We’re all dopes if you post a slanted story it’ll dash our hopes down some slippery slopes in the hopes we believe you like you got us on the ropes but before you post another bullshit roast…….
…Look it up on Snopes

Live and Love in Peace

Opiod Solutions

 

My life sucks
I hate it
So I hurt myself
Not cause I dig pain
For the medication
Them Oxy’s help big time
Not just for the ache
But for the torment
The hurt in my mind
One makes it easy
Two make it fade
What will three do?
Maybe it will go away
That and a few beers
No more tears
So I get numb
Novocain for the brain
My life still sucks
But I don’t give a shit
So I get even more numb
Finally I’m happy
Don’t fucking care
Maybe I’ll take some more
What bad could happen?
If I take too many
Worst that can happen
I may not wake up
That doesn’t scare me
Something much worse could happen
I might awaken
Find my feeble existence
Is continuing to be
I hate this feeling
I hate this life
Slaving to my emotions
Shackled to my fears
One sure way out
Death
This is the night I do it
Swallow a handful
Get the fuck away from here
But wait….
Maybe I’ll leave the light on
Just in case I come back home

Kick it

I wanna perish but I still cherish the love and affection even though I’m embarrassed in fairness I’m suffering from over impairment
Not to exasperate one good lesson in oppression but my obsession is a digression into a deeper depression. With a jump into aggression a head shrinking session might lesson the tension. Bur t what the Hell for?
My funeral pyre will burn till they tire of the muck and the mire of my death fire the higher I aspire the more dire I cry….Help me before my desire becomes my qualifier for expiring.
I know I should stop before I die or transpire but truth is…….
I still wanna get higher