Previously on TM
A tear trickled down my cheek, a tear of pure joy. Ambrosina was here! I turned to absorb her soul swearing I would not let this be our last time. I don’t care what Kha, Shea, or anyone says, Ambrosina is not leaving me this time. There she stood, arms stretched out waiting for me.
The Garden Of Truth
We embraced so tight, neither of us wanting to let go, my body was shaking. “Ambrosina, tell me this is all real, it has to be.” I was burning with desire for her, but this time it was emotional desire. Don’t get me wrong, I also wanted to make love with her, like forever, but I wanted her to fill me, to fill my soul with her sweetness. “Lets not talk about that now JT, come take a walk with me.” I let her free from my bear hug and we held hands as we strolled along the garden path. “Where are we going?” Ambrosina seemed conflicted, both happy and sad. She lightly squeezed my hand, “This way baby, I have something to show you, just follow me along the stream.” We walked along a running stream filled with large rocks, I could hear the sound of water crashing down on the rocks up in the distance, “Are we going to a waterfall?” She looked at me smiling, the most beautiful smile ever, eyes sparkling and full of love, “Just come with me JT, don’t ask so many questions. I’ll take you where you need to go.” I silently obeyed walking along this utopian path upstream simply overjoyed to be with her, not caring anymore where we go as long a we’re together. A strange thought hit me. I almost asked her if she was God right then but thought better of it. We walked along the stream in silence, our souls intertwined.
The pounding of water got louder, Ambrosina let go of my hand. “We have to cross here baby, jump across on the driest rock you can find. When we get to the waterfall you will be almost where you need to be.” She pranced off jumping from rock to rock crossing the stream to the other side so I followed. I hadn’t noticed much because I had been looking at my feet trying to stay on dry rocks when she stopped, “What do you think?” I thought I had seen more beauty on this island than possible until I looked up at the falls. Sheets of crystal clear water rolling off the top of a forty foot mountain, reaching out in a glasslike cascade into the stream. Sunlight beamed down off the arc of clear water and shot out in shards of energy. The water bounced of the pool on the bottom of the stream and spread cool mists of fresh water vapor over us. I couldn’t speak. “There is a special place at the top of the falls I want to take you. From there we will be able to see everything. Everything the Garden has to offer, including truth.” I had no clue what she meant but I followed as she climbed up towards the top, using the greenery as a stepping ladder.
We climbed without words, our labored breathing getting shorter with each advance. Twenty minutes of hiking through natural splendor, being refreshed by mists of water, listening to its pure force crackling through the air. The natural wonder was putting on an audio and visual spectacular just for us. At the very top the view offered a completely different perspective. We were on top of the world, nothing but beauty below us. Ambrosina pointed to an alcove off to the right as she stepped in the water towards it. She waded waist deep in the water heading near the falls which worried me. Was she thinking I might like diving down the water? I hope not, I’m definitely not ready for that, but she stopped right at the edge. Carved into the rock was a perfect tub, the water rushing around it and the tub filled with warm still water. Ambrosina removed her clothing waiting for me to do the same. She held out her hand so I joined her, both of us naked in a natural hot tub looking over a waterfall into utopia. “Isn’t it beautiful JT? We can see the world from here.” And we could, the sky was vast and tangible, a deep cobalt sheet of pure air painted with clouds. The clouds were a vibrant white in perfect positioning, huge billows of cotton animal shapes with stretches of fibers stretching across the horizon. We sat together in the warm water up to our chests and attempted to take it all in. My island now seemed so much bigger, full of life. “Ambrosina, this I the most remarkable place in the world. Do I have to leave here? Can’t we stay like this forever, this moment frozen in time?” She placed her head on my chest circling her arms around my waist. I wrapped both arms around her willing to protect her from anything, not wanting to let go. “I’m sorry JT, but once we’re done here you must go back. But you will have this moment and all of our moments together in your heart forever, the memory is real. And you will find another one to share this feeling with.” I felt blood leaving my face, “I don’t want anyone else Ambrosina, I want you. I love you!” I held her tighter to my body, “What is love my sweet? Have you learned from me what true love is? We had lust filled sex pledging ourselves to each other. Is that what love is?”
I knew what she wanted to hear but I was afraid if I told her I knew now what true love is her time with me would be done. But I did love her, so I couldn’t lie to her, I have learned that that’s part of what love is, trust and honesty. “No, that’s not love completely but it is part of what love is. Love is total surrender and total commitment. When you dominated me I surrendered myself to you sexually, but also emotionally. It wasn’t an unpleasant surrender, I wanted to be consumed by you. Yet when I dominated you it was you who surrendered and I enjoyed that more than I thought I would. Not to rule you, but to have you care so deeply for me you were willing to be whatever I needed you to be, as I was for you. Love is a mutual surrender and a mutual acceptance. Not a surrender of defeat but a surrender that gave me strength I didn‘t realize I had. I know sex and love are related but of that I‘m not sure exactly how.”
Ambrosina glided across the a water embracing me warmly. “Sex is a physical feeling , a tangible expression but love is a concept my dear. We have sex in order to alter our biological evolution, to force mutations so we may move forward as a species. We fall in love to stabilize our emotions, which spin out of control with each evolutionary advance because of the mutations, the co-mingling of cultural emotions. Look down at those beautiful flowers, each one is programmed through evolution to have an inviting look and aroma to attract an insect, like a bee. The look and smell of that flower determine if an insect will come courting which is crucial to the existence of them both. Neither the insect nor the flower have a clue of how significant their intense love making dance has been, they only know its enjoyable so they do it. In that respect nature fools them using the enjoyment of sex to increase the number of sexual encounters upping the odds of their progression. Much like us. The more enjoyable sex is the more often we have it, resulting in more children to grow and repeat the process. Without passionate love making we would be emotionally weak and have less opportunities of offspring. It has come to represent an expression of how deeply we are committed to each other, that’s why you burn with desire, not sexual desire but the desire to express your love far beyond words to ensure it stays. Unfortunately love doesn‘t stay all the time, sometimes we progress differently in our emotions and that makes us unhappy.” I ready to ask her the one question I needed an answer to.
“Ambrosina? ….Are you God?” Her smile embraced me, “No JT, no I’m not God, you have yet to speak with her. Think of me as a substitute teacher, I’m here to shine a light so you can see the dark truths better. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this but I’m a manifestation of someone in your time stream, someone in your future. You won’t recognize me at sight, but there will come a time when you will be aware of me but you mustn’t say anything, she won‘t be aware. The time is almost here baby, soon you need go down the mountain to Shea. You still have the four truths and the cosmic truths to learn. I’ve completed what you need to know, you have understood much. It’s not many who have the opportunity to understand love at the quantum level. Come let’s make love to me one last time.”
Without a word we stood up and Ambrosina lead me to a clearing at the top of the falls and we made passionate love, both of us giving and taking throughout. I had never before understood the true meaning of unity in love but Ambrosina and I had become one person, one concept. Love is bliss, a joy expressible in words. I have no idea how long we made love, or how many times, when I’m with her time doesn’t exist. But it does end, and like the previous times it ended with us collapsed tightly in each other arms until we closed our eyes, our bodies, our minds, and slept. The shouting of my name woke me up, the familiar voice of Shea, “JT! Comer on buddy, its time to go.” This time I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t panicked, I was okay with it, with everything. My huge smile and I walked down the mountain oblivious to our surroundings.
“Well someone is sure happy.” Shea was correct, I was happy, I was ready for the next step. “Yes Shea, I am. I understand it now, its not about possession, its about unity, full and true unity. I’m ready now, what’s next? God?” Shea’s eye’s revealed instantly what was next, “I’m afraid this is it for this visit JT. I have to bring you back to Kha. But remember this my boy, we all have the ability to alter our present. Our opening scene and final scene are set, but if you want it badly enough, you can alter the act. Change your plot JT.”
That was the last word spoken on the trip. I was physically and emotionally drained and followed Shea like a sheep as he led me back to my row boat. Once I got in the boat Shea began pushing it out into the river. I took one last look back at my paradise island smiling. I’m really going to miss this place! The boat moved with the current and was picking up speed. Before I knew it I was moving at a very fast rate caught in a rapid. The boat was taking on water and I lost my balance. From the bottom of the boat I could see the water rushing in over me covering me. I feared I was going to drown. Suddenly the boat was lifted up and the water cleared away. It took me a half a minute to realize I wasn’t in a boat at all, but I had been lifted from Kha’s deprivation tank. Oops there goes gravity, back to reality!