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truth

 

In my external search for meaning
No one person could reveal me
The answer to the riddle of life
A solution that was deep inside me
That which lay dormant in my soul
Could be summoned by none save me
Through guidance did I extract truth
Many have tried to steer my ethics
From the dawn of my virgin knowledge
I was taught not truth but rather faith
When finally I resolved the difference
Verily had I become enlightened to life
The seedlings of wisdom were planted
Blossoming into a lotus of enlightenment
Catching my dreams, refining my Chakra
Flowers which grew amid Belladonna
Bewitching and beguiling petals of desire
In the breast of this garden did I seek truth
But wisdom withheld the secrets of faith
Though my heart thirsted to be quenched inside it
And my body yearned to hold and touch it
The mysteries that faith cajoled remain silent
Only this has been revealed unto my tired eyes
Yesterday is the history recorded from today
Tomorrow is the dreams of today’s future self
And with each tick and every beat of the heart
Truth reveals to me that time never existed
It was created in its own image
Follow the path that love carves
And enjoy the ride
Live and Love in Peace

Consumed By Memories

consumption

 

She came into my life
Stayed there for a while
Creating a new story
We drank and danced
We sang and laughed
When the music ended
Life parted our direction
Left a memory in the wake
To fill in some blank pages
Of my unfinished novel
A chapter in a love story
On my bookshelf of life
Once again I am consumed
By conflict and resolution
Sad stories sway in the past
Tender songs left unremembered
Hoping to be erased once more
But nothing is ever completely forgotten
Not really
So I add another reflection to my hill
That mountain of memories
That I climb everyday
Which consumes my being
One heartbeat at a time

Whirlpool of Worries

whirlpool

 

(Freestyle Beat Poetry)
Shit is spinning concentric, we all sound eccentric
Without evidence forensic are we still geocentric?
Cause The American dream fell apart at the seams
No more it seems of Norman Rockwell scenes
Scientists tell us to hurry before we get lost in the flurry
Religion says don’t worry, god will clear up what’s blurry
Its not celestial storming
Its just Global warming, go ahead and drill don’t heed the warnings
Oil money will be swarming now that DC reforming
Big business thriving, species struggle at surviving
Environment corroding covered in grease its foreboding
My head explodes across aimless roads
As the earth erodes and our world implodes
Feel the destruction due to the mayhem it knows
With electronic devices recruiters entice us
To kill dice and slice us, with a fucking crisis called Isis
And the deliria in Syria causing bedlam hysteria
A myriad of bacteria, Ebola growing like wisteria
Gives us early dismissals
Turncoats are blowing their whistles, Little countries are firing missiles
Nuclear expansion despite the objection of global officials
Rivers burning in flames, charcoal dark skies
Endless White House lies put fear in kids eyes
Governments using their spies until all justice dies
Fuck it all lets build a wall
The Immigrants are classless, huddled in masses
The tired and poor say a few refugees more
While back in our homes we buy new iPhones
Just leave it alone, this useless stalling
WWIII comes a calling the walking dead begin crawling
Our Democracy is falling!
Plutonium enrichment is causing world wide friction
The president has a predilection, his nuclear code fingers itching
To blow up the obstructions mass killing is seduction
Magnetic conduction, global temperature reduction
Stalling reproduction until nothing is born
It’s all too insane
Circling the drain in a vortex of pain
This “Ball of Confusion” ain’t an illusion
The whirlpool of worrying has us all scurrying
Trying to make sense of this shit we keep getting buried in
Scratch and claw, shock and awe
No order no law an anarchists construction
Mutually assured mass destruction
One big Mother Fucktion
But I’m not worried
I’ll just be one more deduction

Sad Smiles And Happy Tears

comedy

 

As the final day comes closer
The memories run further away
Held captive by loneliness
Her ambitions chained to her bed
Shackled to unspoken solitude
Where desperation reigns
She stands blindly confused
As friends just smile at her
Its not that they’re happy
They wear reflective smiles
Tender grins born of sadness
Sad smiles

He doesn’t understand his world
Nothing is ever complete
Thoughts move like clouds
Inside this head he knows
Yet always she’s there for him
Bruised from his confusion
One person who never gave up
Overcome with unexpected gratitude
The autistic boy hugs his Mom
A hug he never gave before
And it made her cry
Tears forged from joy
Happy tears

Sad smiles and happy tears
Confusion falls across the years
Telling lies and facing fears
Smiling sad with happy tears
Puppy love in disguise
She had me with her soulful eyes
Right from the start
I should probably be mad
Her smile looked so sad
But to this day I hold it in my heart
Haven’t seen her in many years
Both our eyes filled by happy tears
Because love made it all worthwhile
Sometimes it’s good to cry
Sometimes its sad to smile
Spending most of my time thinking back on how things used to be and it makes me smile. A sad smile, not because I was unhappy but because these days are gone forever yet remain in my heart.

Spending most of my time thinking about how my baby girl has grown up into a woman, and how those days of believing her Daddy is the greatest man in the world are over. Then she kissed me and said I love you daddy. I cried happy tears

Killer Date

killer

 

 
Pressure builds in my temples
Sweat dampens my forehead
Something’s wrong
The clock is bleeding
Seconds ooze from the wound
And that sound so loud
Distorted annoying ticks
Echo in my cerebellum
My mirrors are disabled
A shadow of myself
Incomplete and hungry
Driven by anger past
Seduced by revenge
I search out my prey
Make him pray, make him pray
Hiding behind the oak tree
The dark shade of coincidence
Breathing so shallow
Trembling but quiet
Watching the trap I carved
Stealthily awaiting the fly
The park is my graveyard
A faint noise
Footsteps in the pathway
I wait without movement
The figure looms near
Its him! He’s the one!
Violator of innocent lambs
Taker of our purity
Strutting in vanity
On his green mile walk
He becomes me today
Blood on the milk train
Absorbed into my breasts
So I can sate the monster
And taste my revenge
Until the next feeding

The Strength Of Women Hear Them Roar

nycwm21

 

 

I went to my first sit in in 1967 during a nationwide protest. As cool as it was to be leaving a Jr. High class with all the swagger of a false rebel I was profoundly effected by the movement. I saw first hand what power of the people meant, the power of unity, and the importance of standing up to any injustices I was confronted with. This movement went much further than just protesting the Vietnam war. I was hooked, more sit ins, be ins, and peace rallies followed. I quickly became a real rebel.

Yesterday I was overloaded with rebel pride when I went into New York City to join the March for Women’s Rights. I always believed in the strength of women but they really blew me away when I saw they had the power not only to stand for their own issues but they also had the love and strong shoulders to absorb so many others causes along with their own and turned it into a march and rally for all of humanity. Every race, religion, class, and gender were given equal status, and all were represented. They proved that it doesn’t matter what your background or political affiliation is but what matters is that as a human being we have compassion for each other and the planet we live on.

So I thank all who marched and/or supported the amazing peaceful movement our sisters have started and I applaud the strength of my sisters everywhere and ask that you don‘t let it stop there. Become a joiner and supporter of destroying any injustice anywhere and become a pain in the ass to your elected officials, they work for us. Most important, get out and vote every chance you get, let your voice be heard in every way possible. Real men make quiche and are inspired by strong women, not intimidated by them. Real men don’t feel the need to brag about the size of their hands but are willing to show the size of heart to all.
Live and Love in Peace

The Caregiver

caregiver

 

 
I worked in two different nursing homes during age16 through 22 and they both left many lasting impressions on me. I started out in the kitchen but quickly found myself on the floor flirting with the nurses and the aides, which earned me jobs like vacuuming and helping wherever. I did any shit work the nurses could find for me, like helping with enema’s. That wasn’t the end of the shit either. I was given caretaker charge of a man confined to a wheelchair who had a severe stroke. Bathed him, shaved him, and dressed him. He was young enough to be embarrassed having female aides do the chores so I became the best part of his morning when I worked that shift.

 
Archaic living statues
Wearing ancient masks
Reflective and forlorn
Performing aimless tasks
Not conscious of the world
But conscious of their fate
They have nothing to do
So they wait
Its all they do
All night, all day
Its all they have left
Even the memories begin to fade
The tears they paid
So they wait
They wait for me
The caregiver
For sustenance
For medication
They praise my dedication
All they have left is to wait
To be told what to do
They wait for me, caregiver
The one who holds their heart together
Informs them of the weather
They wait for me forever
Sometimes I come in the morn
Wake them from their sleeps
Change the wet sheets
Dress them for the day
Give them their pills
Chase their blues away
The way in which we planned
Breakfast tray in hand
Sometimes I come in the afternoon
Put on their favorite show
Just let them know
Someone cares
Then I wait to go home
To a life so removed
From the pain and the heartache
Of the aging machine
The horrors I’ve seen
Time can be so mean
Memories broken like in a dream
These grand folks I cherished
I watch as they perish
But each day I come back for a little while
Covering profound sadness with a smile
Knowing what’s on their minds
Though they really can’t define
They just wait
But its not the food, medicine or even me they sit in anticipation of
They’re waiting to die
And that makes me cry

 

The nurses told us not to get emotionally attached to the patients but we had so many favorites, cute old people who were left up to our care because fore the most part their families abandoned them. I was struck by how much they looked forward to our shifts as though they were visits, how we brightened what little life still sparkled behind their eyes, and I realized we were more than caretakers of their health, we were caretakers of their hearts. Ironically they in turn helped to fill our hearts up with love and gratitude. It was like having 20 of my grandma’s back, and I would give anything for just one more day with my Grandma. I would be happy to be her caregiver.

Culture Profiteers

culture

 

 

(A POV beat street piece to honor MLK)
They kept us enslaved
Deprived and depraved
Drowned us to death
In the blood we had paid
Now you cross the street cause the snowflakes afraid
Weighted with guilt from the whips they had made
Yet you market hip hop fashion in a pretty array
Selling our culture and stealing the pay
Cashing in dollars off of cultural poverty
Marketing the onus of black urban novelty
Selling our fates like you think we still property
Years of oppression as your corporate commodity
Give us headlines in black about murder and sodomy
When it came to reparations its seems you forgot me
Shackled and hassled and profiled in black
Handcuffed and choked or shot in the back
Throwing us pennies while you take the stack
Till the only way out is dealing in crack
Erupting underground in exploding seismology
Turning us into some urban mythology
While brothers and sisters unclaimed in pathology
Lie there dead awaiting an apology
This ain’t no rocket science psychology
Inequality in myopic dollar visionlogy
Just corporate America trading and selling hysteria

White hood on a head, bible in hand
Burning white crosses in our holy land
Running away as quick as you can
Back to your church to make a new plan
Ethnic ferocity is that all you got for me?
Bible revival a Christian held lottery
Killin’ our children just don’t seem like god to me
My people are undying you don’t think that bother me?
You languish in gold an economic prodigy
Skipping over the part of your inhuman atrocity
Slavery was our odyssey and you ain’t the boss of me
It all seems so odd to me
Like the world is on fire
Claiming racism has expired
But the hatred still burns like a funeral pyre
With the conniving prejudice living and thriving
Whites kids bopping and jiving while black Moms sit home a crying
Choking on the metaphoric noose where children keep dying
It really stung when condemned our young
Then watered the tree’s where our ancestors hung
Locked us behind bars made of lily pad fear
Brown and black wearing the new orange gear
You think we nuthin but dealers strung out on dope
Climbing your picket fence dream to rob you of hope
But we work we live and we breathe and walk the tightrope
Profile us to stand like a guilty sculpture
Pockets picked by a Wall Street vulture
Its so stressful it give me an unccer
Profiting from the blood and tears
Of African culture

End Of This Game

end-of-game

 

When all that remains
Is what’s gone by
And darkness fills up the light
Will the records show
He tried hard to glow
Burning a candle to brighten the night
When the clock runs out
Will the people shout
He wanted it all but he did without
But looked down and sighed
Just could never apply
He once had it but now he doesn’t
When it comes down to goodbyes
Once the wells have all dried
Please remember he tried
Just couldn’t be what he wasn’t
So when the ease of his pains
Become dusty remains
Will anyone still softly whisper his name
Or will they laugh at his fate
After such a tedious wait
To reach the end of this game

The Road Ahead

road

 

 

Today we look in the rearview. For many of us we see a number of accidents behind us, swerve marks and maybe a few skids off the road, but that’s in the past. Don’t stare into that mirror for too long because the road in front of us is still dangerous and we are certain to come across many reckless drivers and challenging lane shifts. Our route needs to be negotiated thoughtfully and carefully. Fill your gas tank with hope, your tires with determination, and drive with caution, purpose, and love and always drive toward peace. We are all sharing the same road. Have a happy and prosperous new year….
Live and Love in Peace

The Existential Baker