Madmen Have No Remorse

 

From high in the treetop
The vulture viewed the lambs
Innocent thought the predator
Who but I am genuinely innocent
I hold all the power in my arms
I need release
The wondrous smell of gunpowder
The echoing pops of rapid fire
The scattering of the sheep
Some fall some ramble chaotic
But all are stricken with panic
It is I who holds the power
They bleat and whine below me
Only I can stop the killing
I wish this could last forever
But someone is at the door
It is time for me to worship
Holding the holy death stick
I point it to my head and pull
My power to you I commend
I join you, my lord,
Take me in your forgiving arms

Night Tremors

 

I awoke in the eerie dark
Or maybe I was still asleep
It was far too dark to tell
Too quiet to understand
Arcane and unsettling
Something or someone
Was in my room with me
WHAT WAS THAT?
Has fear taken ownership
Am I paranoid or in a dream
Sweating from the paralyzing fear
Droplets begin to roll off my forehead
So fucking scared
FEAR
Am I gonna die!!
Oh……my……god

 

Kick it
This fear has fermented I’m mentally tormented cause the visions I’ve invented
Are relentlessly depressing
A life form unscented from someone’s Hell has ascended it may not be documented but
…..I think that I’m demented….
I’m so tempted to pray to please be represented
But my God is discontented with the sins which I’ve presented
My life is at stake
My soul to take while I’m awake for goodness sake
We all make a mistake
Go away
Let me wake
Slow it down now

 

Perhaps I was dreaming
Dark theater of the brain
Strange noises in my sanctuary
Am I alone or is someone here
My cranium keeps shaking
Tears pool down my cheeks
My reflection in the droplets
I see some movement
A tree branch? No a shadow!
Paralyzed in my bed
Make this end
Please let this be a dream but if it is a dream
What does that mean?
Are dreams simple stories our minds make up
Or are they the realties of what could be?
Why do our dreams never seem to have a beginning
Why do they never have an end….or a taste of the reality
How can they be so vivid and true yet so surreal
I don’t think I like dreams
I don’t want to have them anymore
Please get me out of here or wake me up
I want to be me….to be free
Kick it once more

 

They are a malady of the banality someone’s misplaced morality
Worming its way into my concept of reality
Oh the fucking brutality the Dream Police finding criminality
Crimes against humanity my lack of sanity has to be what it is to be
To bring me to serenity
Stripping away the inside of me a paranoid fragility
My head hurts….just let me be
In the dark absence of light so filled with fright
My heads not right
I hate those fucking tremors in the night

THE STORYTELLER

 

The storyteller unlocks the subconscious
A locksmith using memories as his tool
Reminding us knowledge which lay dormant
Sleeping in the memories of our own hearts
Wishing one day to sort out real from imagined
So we listen with intent hoping to be free
Because feelings that lay frozen in our minds
Plead day to day that they be un-manacled
Free of the fears which lock our hope away
Holding hostage that which we already know
The knowledge that dawned with our births
Stored in the vastness of our repressive minds
Inside the temples of the storytellers graveyard
Where secret knowledge is preached in solitude
So we listen

 

 

The storyteller he makes no claims nor judgments
His tales are the dreams of visitors from the night
Imaginary and manifested friends of midnight lore
Some welcome some unwanted but all unfiltered
Preying on our eager and vivid imaginations
Reaching in to unleash our suppressed emotions
To strip them naked exposed unto ourselves
He asks not to be paid in silver nor gold
Only hopes to enter into our hearts and minds
And allow his words soothe or injure wakefulness
Offering no direction nor instruction be followed
Exposing incognito the paths of our choosing
Oftentimes he tell stories of profound love
Allowing many to reflect fondly of experience
So we believe

 

 

Yet for others love never seems to be enough
So he recalls stories of deep pain and loss
Sharing the pains he lived through and died from
Exposing himself while revealing our profound grief
And in the end with the many tales he’s woven for us
He blankets us all from that darkness which resides
Obscuring from inside the desires of the incendiary
Coaxing emotions to come bubbling to the surface
In a desperate search to find our own reflection
And fix the broken parts we tried to forget
Whether memories make you sad or glad matters not
It bears no significance once the story comes to end
The teller leaves carrying our hurts without reward
Upon his shoulders to cast into his healing heart
A mutual exchange of what is and what should be
As it was intended

 

The biggest fish of the fishing rod, a thousand tales from Scheherazade
Saviors of the suicide squad that make us stop and think so hard
Should we disregard our own backyard or traipse on down the boulevard
Scary streets abandoned yards, play at risk of being scarred
Don’t blame the words of the traveling bard its only a tale
The storytellers veil to hide his wails
Be he poet or prophet or teller true
He gives freely of words to me and you
Words plucked from his heart become his art
Right from the start
He writes them down not for glory
Only wants to tell a story
To reveals our eyes to our mirror
Put perspective little bit clearer
So gather round come in nearer
Stand naked before his story moral
Thank him for his message oral
Once he’s gone only words remain
Because no one notices his barrel of pain
They only ask him to tell it again and again
Until he has no story left

 

 

Fractured Soul

 

When the soul is fractured it’s fractured forever. We try and put braces on our fractured souls, people come into our lives that make it easier for us to function with the fractures, to love and laugh, but the fracture always remains. We only learn to carry on as if there were no cracks whatsoever. That’s a fucking lie!

 

My soul became fractured in one moment
My dreams turned into icy memories
Hope snuck out the bathroom window
Taking my will to survive on its back
That horrible moment I had to be strong
I needed to assure baby girl it was okay
Not that everything was going to be fine
But that it was okay to let go of the pain
She couldn’t speak so she nodded
Told me she loved me with a blink
The machines went silent
My heart fell apart
My soul fractured
Only one questioned remained
Do I live on or die

 

Fractured soul a life corrodes broken heart as black as coal
Free me now let me explode unpack my sorrow and unload
You can’t console a fractured soul
You can’t control the Reapers role
So take me down that lonely road
Back to my home
Where I always travel alone
My soul disqualified and compromised
Modified to be unoccupied minimized and oxidized
Rust and dust the tears I cried
Begging and pleading tell me why..
Nothing matters when your soul is fractured
Living life backward like a tortured actor
My essence smoldering in a nuclear reactor
That’s how it feels when the soul is fractured
Filled with all the hurt that I can manufacture
Like a homeless soldier stripped of stature
Left in the rain to scrap and forage
Thrown to the wind left unsupported
Purple hearts don’t pay their mortgage
Forgotten heroes packaged in cardboard storage
Alongside fractured souls of the morbid orphans

 

 

Our lives are made up of memory experiences
Big piles of good reflections and big piles of bad
Hopefully the bad pile is far lower than the good
But even if it’s not we mustn’t let the bad
Infect all the wonderful good things we have
Both piles make us up to who we’ve become
And who we are now comes down to one decision
Which pile to ignore and which to climb high
From my first memory I set out running
In a fervor to find what’s beyond the light
I didn’t realize when I was a young man
That I wasn’t running towards life but away
All along I was being chased by the ravager
If time ever catches up to me all I can do
Is surrender my fractured soul
And accept my final fate…..
I’m running as fast as I can

 

Live and Love in Peace

EPIC FAIL

 

 

 

(National Suicide Prevention Lifeline..1-800-273-8255)

 

In the abyss of my desires
Under my hopes and dreams
Lie my unspoken thirst
To commune the beyond
Will I pass unto the gates
The passageway to eternity
Or does my fear of dying
Cause me to tremble with life
Shall I stand naked to the sun
Ready to melt into its warmth
Or shiver alone above the moon
Embrace the mother of all children
Soothe my soul asleep at her breast
Alas when I enter the realm of silence
I will finally be able to sing my song
When I reach the apex of my mountain
I shall finally be able to climb upward
And when Mother Earth claims my legs
I shall finally be able to dance
All I have to do is Die

 

Death is the female betrayed
The sweet song of Circe
The siren without mercy
But don’t expect her to curtsey
She comes clothed in a shroud
Whispering a dirge and a vow
But I can’t hear
The silence in my head is way too loud
My ears are exploding with trumpeting blood
An internal flood
A voice keeps urging me to do it
Go on…..End it
Type a goodbye note and send it
A life suspended but not extended
Don’t be offended but I don’t recommend it
Still the pain increases with no release
There’ll be no peace until I’m deceased
I need Mother Teresa
Nobody cares about a life in pieces
I feel defeated
Tried to die but failed completely
Many attempts veiled discretely
Not sure when but I’ll try it again
I need it to end…….but
How to do it?
A handful of pills to flood my brain
Take away all this insane pain
A razor to coax the syrup of life
Drain my blood to end my strife
Or will my loss of hope dangle from a rope
Perhaps I can finally OD on dope
Why do I even try
Why do I listen to the voice inside
Telling me I should die
Be better off dead he said
But I’m a failure inside
I didn’t even cry at my failed suicide
My sanctimonious attempt
With no final ride
So let me confide about all of my lies
I hated myself since the day I was born
Grew up busted disgusted and often forlorn
But that is my onus my own cross to bear
Bitching and moaning how life isn’t fair
Nobody cares
Death may not be me answer but still I try
To celebrate the day of my suicide
I don’t know, just guess I wanna die
Can’t figure out how I should say goodbye
I’m an epic failure need a suicide seminar
I failed at every suicide I’ve tried so far
Just can’t kill myself which I find bizarre
Maybe I should stop trying
I really suck a dying
Hopefully today I’ll get hit by a car

 

I lost a friend of mine since kindergarten to suicide. We lost touch and I found out later in life but it still haunts me. I suspect most of us have been effected by at least one suicide close to us, and I also suspect like me many of you have contemplated it however fleeting for at least a moment. Unlike the song in MASH suicide is not painless, especially to those who need to pick up the pieces. If ever depression send you down the road of self incrimination without a view of resolve, call a friend, write a letter, contact someone. I’ll listen, your family will listen, and if you need a stranger, The National Suicide Prevention Helpline is 1-800-273-8255.….
Live and Love in Peace

 

 

Defeating Hate

 

 

 

Crouched in the dark of hatreds shadow
The Phoenix of bigotry waits in patience
Someday it muses……. Some day
Hoping to kick off the dust of its ashes
Spread its alabaster wings of oppression
And soar on the winds of prior atrocities
History of hatred is attempting a comeback

 

The ghosts of the slave
Buried in dirt
Still shackled
Not even in a proper grave
The shame of one nation
Scarred by war
Remembered the words
We are all equal in the eyes of creation

 

We can never again allow bigotry to soar
Cause our rainbows to cower in disgust
Destroy a commonality built on trust
We shall rise in unison to tenets of hate
Stand and resist supremacists doctrine
Sip from cups overflowing with compassion
Side by side and hand in hand love will win
Only love can defeat Hate

 

George Santayana.. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it

Unknown…A fish rots from the head down…. Remove it before we all stink

JT Hilltop…. Speak out against racism, bigotry, and hatred every opportunity you can…. Silence is complicity

 

Live and Love in Peace

Death In Fibonacci Sequence

 

Death
It knocks
You hear it
It stands at your door
Waiting for you to open up
The Grim Reaper comes whether you are ready or not

 

Sleep
The end
Gone for good
Never to return
Death stands outside waiting for us
Everyone has one you just have to figure out where

 

Grave
Endless
forever
Eternal dreaming
The sunshine of the spotless mind
An eclipsing shadow of the obscured fading moon

 

Death
Rising
Not afraid
Standing in the hall
Waiting for its moment to rise
Knowing that it has found what it has been looking for

 

Fibonacci figured out a mathematical pattern that repeats itself so often in nature that it becomes one of those mysterious occurrences in the Universe that defy explanation.  I can’t profess to understand even an inkling of his genius, but that does not prevent me from appreciating it and giving a genius mind some props…….Live and Lover in Peace

Tears Of A Smiley Face

 

Jesus Christ my mirror is broken
I ain’t joking the bloke inside looks like he’s croaking
The figure I see could die from the choking
Too many years of toking and smoking
I have a notion his minds lost forward motion
Direct result of his explosive emotions
But I’ve misspoken
The figure that be isn’t the me that I see
A reflection of what all the others perceive
Not the young me wearing his age on his sleeve
Don’t mean to deceive but I don’t think they see
The once virile that man I believe I should be
A young mans reprieve in my minds reality
But let me intercede
They just don’t see a strong heart of stone
Just an old man alone with nothing to show
But a history of abuse and deteriorating bone
And far too many opportunities all of which be has blown
Now a victim of age all on his own
Meet the old man owning Osteoporosis
Cirrhosis and narcosis in a body atrocious
Struggling through life in an ageless psychosis
So many maladies it makes me precocious
So focus
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Work that shit into your rhymes bitches
Then tell me this ain’t so dope it leaves you in stitches
While you scratching your itches and counting your riches
Yea its got glitches both pernicious and malicious
But its gritty and witty nutritious and delicious
Don’t be so suspicious
I’ve got so many regrets they’ve been repossessed
I’ll keep them suppressed at your behest
So I’ll gladly confess to all my crimes and excess
But I digress
As a sign of the times I try to read between the lines
The wrinkles define why I cry and I whine
Behind the hazel cry soaked old eyes
Hides a soul blinded by this life and it’s lies
No one wants to hear bout the lows and the highs
They just sympathize hearing bout my demise
Wrinkles and crows feet my conciliation prize
Old but not wise
Maybe they see a smiley face his eyes all a shine
Never once guessing that inside he keeps crying
Once he was flying now waiting and dieing
Or maybe I’m lying
Maybe I’m no more than a book on a shelf
Pissing and moaning feeling sorry for myself
Crying on my lonesome because I screwed up to the hilt
The Pinball Wizard who keeps hitting a tilt
But this broken life is all I have built
So fuck me I suck
I’ll dry my eyes on my guilt

 

Live and Love in Peace

She Said I Never Write About Love So……

 

 

Love is
An innocent child flower who grew up
In the garden of an unsteady future
Seeds sown where only dreams may visit
To a romantic bounty that longs for itself
Yet strives to never be reaped in loneliness
Love is
The longing fleeting arrows spiral course
In eternal flight ardently sailing forward
Upon the path of the infinite archer
Attempting to obtain endless distance
Into the depth of tomorrows chasm
Love is
The beating wings of passions glory
In a furious frenzy of adulation
Under the incandescent evening glow
Of a bright and sultry lunar simper
Midnight ushering affectionate auras
Love is
Two spirits strolling hand in hand
To a place where the bodies desires
Become sated with mutual rapture
Unbridled of restraint they sing their song
Which echoes across the erotic wind
Distant stars winking in approval
Creating a beacon of lustful allegiance
Love is
Retrospection gilded in a rosy brilliance
Tears formed into pools of halcyon delight
Tranquil waters longing to rush to the sea
To be washed to shore as a lost memory
Wouldn’t it be nice if memories didn’t fade
But went to where dreams become songs
And memories become tales forever retold
Shared through the eons of all lovers lifetimes
And viewed through the eyes of the future
That’s what Love is to me
But what do I know?

 

*Some people worry when an artist dances too close to the edge of darkness but some of us just seem to be wired a little darker than the “norm”. That’s cool, because every emotion needs to be explored and celebrated. When creative people express themselves they do it through a variety of disciplines, humor, words, music, art, or just straight up therapy. I can’t sing or play any instrument and even my stick figures look like shit but I can joke and write. I like to place myself outside my comfort zone which is why this is one of a very few pieces in which I will write about love as opposed to depression, the trials of aging, or facing death. I don’t like being uncomfortable, but it does get my creative impulses flowing. Thank you for this indulgence….
Live and Love in Peace

 

Secrets and Obsessions

 

 

Obsessions once revealed
Leave the soul naked
And the heart vulnerable
So we hide them away
Where no one can see
Our little secret

The secrets revealed
Expose the hard truth
We share them in faith
And hope that love stays
We open our hearts
Lay it on the line
That’s the first mistake

 

Napoleon believed our obsessions
Are the best way to govern our perspective
Because our obsessions can hold us hostage
Shackled to our deepest secrets
Daring us to reveal our egos
I have secrets and obsessions
I know that you have them too
It’s the mysterious inner glue
That binds us to ourselves
Without secrets and obsessions
We’re incomplete
Kick it……
Secrets and obsessions, transgressions and digressions
Concessions and confessions lead to many unanswered questions
We are obsessive about our obsessions our truths kept in suppression
So what’s the suggestion
Unsuppress the suppression?
No way
Secrets are here to stay
They’re untold portions of our stories
Truths we should never reveal
Something to conceal
Secrets not meant to dissolve into memories
But become raindrops in our attics
Obsessions make us addicts
Deep in the cathedrals of desire
Go lower but take me higher
Where we worship our master
In hallways of internal adversity
Where perversity is in such diversity its an alert for me
Some things that a lover should never see
But for me that was not to be
I let her see and she laughed at me
Now I know she knows the worst of me
So out of courtesy I’ll let you see the destiny hidden inside of me
I’m a catastrophe of hypocrisy
An oddity without a prophesy
And that hurts me
So now you see secrets are meant to be
Covered with a veil of mediocrity
I offer no apology just keep the wall in front of me
Secrets and Obsessions
Best to hold them internally