Tag: Existential

Killer Date

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killer

 

 
Pressure builds in my temples
Sweat dampens my forehead
Something’s wrong
The clock is bleeding
Seconds ooze from the wound
And that sound so loud
Distorted annoying ticks
Echo in my cerebellum
My mirrors are disabled
A shadow of myself
Incomplete and hungry
Driven by anger past
Seduced by revenge
I search out my prey
Make him pray, make him pray
Hiding behind the oak tree
The dark shade of coincidence
Breathing so shallow
Trembling but quiet
Watching the trap I carved
Stealthily awaiting the fly
The park is my graveyard
A faint noise
Footsteps in the pathway
I wait without movement
The figure looms near
Its him! He’s the one!
Violator of innocent lambs
Taker of our purity
Strutting in vanity
On his green mile walk
He becomes me today
Blood on the milk train
Absorbed into my breasts
So I can sate the monster
And taste my revenge
Until the next feeding

The Strength Of Women Hear Them Roar

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nycwm21

 

 

I went to my first sit in in 1967 during a nationwide protest. As cool as it was to be leaving a Jr. High class with all the swagger of a false rebel I was profoundly effected by the movement. I saw first hand what power of the people meant, the power of unity, and the importance of standing up to any injustices I was confronted with. This movement went much further than just protesting the Vietnam war. I was hooked, more sit ins, be ins, and peace rallies followed. I quickly became a real rebel.

Yesterday I was overloaded with rebel pride when I went into New York City to join the March for Women’s Rights. I always believed in the strength of women but they really blew me away when I saw they had the power not only to stand for their own issues but they also had the love and strong shoulders to absorb so many others causes along with their own and turned it into a march and rally for all of humanity. Every race, religion, class, and gender were given equal status, and all were represented. They proved that it doesn’t matter what your background or political affiliation is but what matters is that as a human being we have compassion for each other and the planet we live on.

So I thank all who marched and/or supported the amazing peaceful movement our sisters have started and I applaud the strength of my sisters everywhere and ask that you don‘t let it stop there. Become a joiner and supporter of destroying any injustice anywhere and become a pain in the ass to your elected officials, they work for us. Most important, get out and vote every chance you get, let your voice be heard in every way possible. Real men make quiche and are inspired by strong women, not intimidated by them. Real men don’t feel the need to brag about the size of their hands but are willing to show the size of heart to all.
Live and Love in Peace

The Caregiver

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caregiver

 

 
I worked in two different nursing homes during age16 through 22 and they both left many lasting impressions on me. I started out in the kitchen but quickly found myself on the floor flirting with the nurses and the aides, which earned me jobs like vacuuming and helping wherever. I did any shit work the nurses could find for me, like helping with enema’s. That wasn’t the end of the shit either. I was given caretaker charge of a man confined to a wheelchair who had a severe stroke. Bathed him, shaved him, and dressed him. He was young enough to be embarrassed having female aides do the chores so I became the best part of his morning when I worked that shift.

 
Archaic living statues
Wearing ancient masks
Reflective and forlorn
Performing aimless tasks
Not conscious of the world
But conscious of their fate
They have nothing to do
So they wait
Its all they do
All night, all day
Its all they have left
Even the memories begin to fade
The tears they paid
So they wait
They wait for me
The caregiver
For sustenance
For medication
They praise my dedication
All they have left is to wait
To be told what to do
They wait for me, caregiver
The one who holds their heart together
Informs them of the weather
They wait for me forever
Sometimes I come in the morn
Wake them from their sleeps
Change the wet sheets
Dress them for the day
Give them their pills
Chase their blues away
The way in which we planned
Breakfast tray in hand
Sometimes I come in the afternoon
Put on their favorite show
Just let them know
Someone cares
Then I wait to go home
To a life so removed
From the pain and the heartache
Of the aging machine
The horrors I’ve seen
Time can be so mean
Memories broken like in a dream
These grand folks I cherished
I watch as they perish
But each day I come back for a little while
Covering profound sadness with a smile
Knowing what’s on their minds
Though they really can’t define
They just wait
But its not the food, medicine or even me they sit in anticipation of
They’re waiting to die
And that makes me cry

 

The nurses told us not to get emotionally attached to the patients but we had so many favorites, cute old people who were left up to our care because fore the most part their families abandoned them. I was struck by how much they looked forward to our shifts as though they were visits, how we brightened what little life still sparkled behind their eyes, and I realized we were more than caretakers of their health, we were caretakers of their hearts. Ironically they in turn helped to fill our hearts up with love and gratitude. It was like having 20 of my grandma’s back, and I would give anything for just one more day with my Grandma. I would be happy to be her caregiver.

End Of This Game

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end-of-game

 

When all that remains
Is what’s gone by
And darkness fills up the light
Will the records show
He tried hard to glow
Burning a candle to brighten the night
When the clock runs out
Will the people shout
He wanted it all but he did without
But looked down and sighed
Just could never apply
He once had it but now he doesn’t
When it comes down to goodbyes
Once the wells have all dried
Please remember he tried
Just couldn’t be what he wasn’t
So when the ease of his pains
Become dusty remains
Will anyone still softly whisper his name
Or will they laugh at his fate
After such a tedious wait
To reach the end of this game

The Road Ahead

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road

 

 

Today we look in the rearview. For many of us we see a number of accidents behind us, swerve marks and maybe a few skids off the road, but that’s in the past. Don’t stare into that mirror for too long because the road in front of us is still dangerous and we are certain to come across many reckless drivers and challenging lane shifts. Our route needs to be negotiated thoughtfully and carefully. Fill your gas tank with hope, your tires with determination, and drive with caution, purpose, and love and always drive toward peace. We are all sharing the same road. Have a happy and prosperous new year….
Live and Love in Peace

The Existential Baker

Goddess

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goddess

 

 

With a sirens song she serenades
Gliding lithely across the horizon
Leaving me trembling in ecstasy
Transfixed motionless in her stare
Intoxicated by the nectar of a goddess
Sweet fragrance of passion
With fingertips forging my being
Fulfilling my ardent desires
Numbing my head with pleasure
Hedonistic day dreams caress me
While she slices me with a smile
A stealthily hidden carnal sword
My wound yearning for repletion
Then with a soft spoken word
A tender purposeful embrace
She shatters my mortality
Bringing sight to my blind eyes
On her pedestal she ascends on high
Climbing like a mighty oak tree
With most tender branches
And salaciously intricate roots
Knowingly the Goddess kneads my soul
Denys me possession of her heart
Without attempting to possess mine
I melt into her like a running brook
Trickling down her mountainside
Understanding the pains of her wounds
As they flow effortlessly into mine
Allowing us to scar in union
Sharing the blood of tenderness
Aye when I am greeted by the dawn
Her smile welcomes me to the light of day
With upturned lips she ensures my dedication
And together we set out in regality
To conquer the world

Is Anyone listening?

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aleppo

 

Unacceptable Casualties
No its not tears of hurt I’m crying
The droplets come from the acrid smoke
A metaphoric world burning to the ground
My eyes glazed in saline apathy from
All the heads that simply turn away
Ignoring the screams of the children lost
The shame of the inhumane brutality ignored
Pretending that the importance of their own lives
Their bubble of social or political discord
Carries a greater weight of relevance
Than a little boy who gave away his shoes
Because he no longer had feet
Or the sobbing little girl clutching her doll
To protect it from flames of home on fire
The microcosm of global destruction called Aleppo
Where all the people stopped praying when
They believed their God stopped listening
Why should I care?
I want to help but Monday Night Football is on
And apparently Jesus is busy making touchdowns
Besides I have my own war to fight of Facebook
And I have so many excessive things to buy because
That’s the best way to honor the Lords natal occurrence
He never wanted us to help the helpless did he?
My apologies for the sarcasm, its all I have left
I’m all out of tears
Live and Love in Peace

Omnipresent Observer

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observer

 

Street/Beat rambling wordplay

I need to tell someone
But no one can I confide
An omnipresent observer
Whispering silently inside
I want to hide but my presence is implied
Always being watched my hands always tied
Being taken for a ride without a place to hide
Inside I hear rambling banter and clamor
Is it my doppelganger
A pathogen of anger
Attacking my sanity in cryptic profanity
It’s a Goddam calamity
Is it real or just a fantasy I’m panicking in agony
And he just keeps on nagging me
Dragging me and stabbing me
Shredding my brain and shagging me
…….Oh the humanity
Ripping apart my fragile mind
A voice so darkly unkind
The humiliation the exploitation
No alleviation from the cranial castration
From the brazen maven of invasion
Comes salvation
That omnipresent silent observer
Puts me in a fervor
Silently cursing and perverting me
Hurting and converting me
Churning and burning tossing and turning
Then deserting me
Always watching and waiting
Hating and debasing
My head is rotating and pulsating
So Goddam frustrating
I just want him to leave
Die and let me grieve in peaceful reverie
Give me one full day of brevity
Instead of bleeding in severity
But he stays and misbehaves
Maybe its I who should cease
Not take life any further
But I just stay and gleam away
In the eyes of my observer

Crime of Misfortune

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captivity

 

Raised in chains of depravity
Shackled down catwalks
Degraded and dehumanized
Every second of every day
Colonized for profit
Tattooed by flagellation
Forced into toil
Tilling the soil of the iceman
Together in the fields of despair
They sang the songs of captivity
So painful
So hopeless
So angry
Yet so beautiful
Melodies arranged in emotional chaos
Music glowing in hues of blues
All asking the same question
Why
They didn’t understand
Why they were stripped from their homes
Taken so far away
To become trade for chattel
How they’re lives changed so fast
Wondering why does it take so long
To grow old and die
So they could be free
Moaning in harmony
They prayed hopeful
Never giving up on their God
The slightest bit of optimism
A tiny plume of hope
Rose above the cotton puff clouds
And a hazy shade of regret
Appeared on the faces of their captors
In a half smile of distain and dominance
A shot of high class bourbon
To wash away the shame they bore
Of committing humans to a lifetime of pain
For desiring freedom
The crime of being born too innocent
Or perhaps looking too different
Punishable by oppression eternal
A crime of gross misfortune
Live and Love in Peace

Cost

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cost

 
I want that
How much does it cost
I need to have it
At any cost
Nothing is free
Everything has a cost
Falling in love has cost
Falling out of love has cost
Being nice and being mean
Have a cost
Being right and being wrong
Have a cost
So is cost the one true omnipotent?
The omnipresent?
Even faith comes at a cost
God comes at a cost
Allah certainly comes at a cost
Even Jehovah and Vishnu come at a cost
Cost is our one true master
To be an Existentialist or an Atheist
Comes at a cost
Anarchy costs everyone
We all pay a cost
Just to be who we are
To be what we want
For every decision
For every action
Every fucking thing we do
There is a cost
Politics cost us friendships, family, and integrity
Government is nothing but costs
Acting like the chameleon
Hiding what the real costs are
Not money but personal cost
Selling out who we thought we were
Exchanging one cost for another
What is the cost of existence?
The cost of survival?
Do we win at any cost
Must we sufferer the cost of defeat
Cost isn’t just a human condition
It’s a condition set by corporations
Through exploitation
They determine what we want
And what cost we are willing to pay
In the end it the cost of our very souls
That’s what cost us the most
Yet we allow them to set a price
On the cost of our own surrender
The cost of giving up hope
You can have peace if you’re willing to pay
It will cost you dearly
What shall we pay to overcome the costs of being alive
Only death
Never give up, never give in ……
Live and Love in Peace