Living La Vida Existential

exi strip

Is your belief system stressing you out with too many demands? Why not try Living La Vida Existential. Belief systems are so difficult to maintain these days with all the rules and regulations and the conflicting messages. My creator all mighty its hard maintaining any religion these days. I mean love thy neighbor, unless they’re gay, no unmarried sex unless you wear religious garments, a bunch of commandments to uphold, just way too much work remembering how to make the verse from whatever your good book happens to be to fit into the desired result. Are you tired of having to go to a house of worship once a week? Got bruises on your knees from too much kneeling? Maybe you’re tired of having to admit the evil rule breaking you committed during the week to an obscure stranger in a dark box? Are you looking for a belief system that doesn’t cost you so much money, even going as far as having baskets shaken in your face shaming you into giving up your hard earned cash? Does your religion make so many demands on you want to scream, “I’m mad as the burning afterlife and I’m not gonna take it anymore.”? Or scare the actual Hell out of you by threatening to send you straight to Hell? Would you like to stop having to fold your hands and talk to yourself before bed, listen to your stomach growl with hunger while everyone has to wait for that one person to say grace? If so, then Living La Vida Existentialism may be right for you. For a limited time you too can become an Existentialist and throw away all the categories and labels religions place on you. It’s easy, all you have to do is believe in yourself. So hurry, this offer expires when you do so act now!

Thousands of people have been turning away from the out-dated teachings of organized religion. If you like belonging to a group but would prefer something more modern, more flexible and reasonable maybe its time for change. Why not considered Living La Vida Existential? Being an existentialist is fun and easy to do, plus it free’s you of all those pesky tenet requirements of organized religions. The best part is you can do it in your spare time in the privacy of your home or office, or even while texting from the bathroom. Not only that, it cost no money and is open to absolutely everyone, no experience required. All that is required is an open mind, and you already have a mind so wait no longer. Open it up to a world of possibilities. Forget all those ugly theological labels, like gay abominations, lustful coveters, or sinners in the war on god. Existentialism is skin color blind, gender blind, and practices actual non judgmental living, not the phony non-judgmentalists who pray and point their finger calling others names (No, pray was not a misuse, its a play on words. Its okay to joke when your existential) Sexual orientation remains your business in existentialism. Its all about living your life the way it should be, free of all the garbage that has built up over the ages such as attempting to explain the unexplainable with cartoon precision. Wile E. Coyote can paint a usable tunnel because its The Roadrunners will. Don’t involve yourself in a which came first argument, the egg and the chicken arrived simultaneously and have always been. We are here and we are alive, what difference does it make when we first came to be here on this planet? Be fair, be just, and forget about judging others, just enjoy life while your living it. No need to condemn your neighbors and call them unholy, that won‘t help you live well. No need to force others to believe what you believe either. Why you don’t even need to exclaim to the world that existentialism is the one true religion, and practitioners of any religion other than that is an express ticket to damnation. Its not a religion, it’s a REALigion.

Actually, its not a religion at all, it’s a philosophy, more like Hakuna Matata, or Karmic Existence. It’s a very common misconception, existentialists are often misunderstood, sometimes even by other existentialists. They are not nihilists or anarchists, not Pagans or polytheists, not occultists or Satan worshipers. Nor are they atheists, although by strict definition most existentialist are Atheist, just not practicing Atheists. No need to go to an anti-church and praise scientific logic, deny God, or sing songs like “Imaginary Grace” or “The Old Rugged Death Penalty”, just accept that there is an abundance of ignorance in the world and let those who don’t get life have their bliss.

Existentialism is a philosophical belief not a faith. Many people today are jumping on the ex tr ain because its believed that existentialist are clever intellectuals that speak in profound quotes of some of the more famous existentialists. “I think therefore I am”, “He thought therefore he was“ “He will think therefore……” you get it. . While most of us are indeed very clever, we are no a bunch of beret wearing brainiacs who sip cappuccinos at cafes and discuss matters of global implications. You don’t need to be a college graduate and read every work of Kierkegaard, Sartre, or Kant. Many existentialists are just average people whose beliefs do not fit in to a mainstream belief that we were all created by the one true creator be it God, Yahweh, Jumping Jehovah, Allah, or He-Man Master of the Universe. We don’t need a structured religion to explain to us how we should live our life, what will happen to us if we don’t follow the rules, what happens when we die, and who is the one we must consider to be superior to everyone and everything in the universe even though we are the tiniest speck of a planet in an unimaginable vastness. Simply, everyone is equal and deserves equal respect. That’s not to say we can‘t believe in divinity.

Existentialism does not rule out the possibility of a creator although for the majority if there is a creator its nothing like the one most of us were force-fed as children. No all-knowing all-seeing god who demands praise from everyone, sitting on a metaphoric throne waiting for us to come to him. No angels waiting up in a gated paradise community playing incessant harp music in the clouds as we ascend to heaven. But that’s not to say that some form of energy or entity didn’t have a hand in getting the ball rolling so to speak. For existentialists it’s a little clearer than believing a magic image in the sky that is watching over everyone to make sure we behave. It seems a bit arrogant of a god to take credit for all the good shit that happens but then when the fecal matter hit’s the oscillating rotary alter everything goes to, pardon the expression, Hell in a hand basket. No waving of the hand explaining things away by way of mysterious ways being worked we’re apparently not clever enough to understand. That kind of deck stacking would have you banned from every casino from here to the Netherworld. It’s more about a cycle of life, we’re born, we live our life, then we die. We exist in that cycle just the same as every non worshiping living thing on earth. I can’t prove this but I firmly believe bacteria do not worship any pathogen gods or pray in any amoebic temples yet they live the same cycle we do. The bottom line is everything lives, everything evolves, and everything dies. Respect all life.

We all accept that others lived before us, and others will live after us, and in every religion death is an accepted stage. However temporary, whether it leads to paradise, another life, another stage of existence, a box bed covered with dirt, a reduction to ashes in an urn, or pure nothingness it happens to us all. What occurs after death we tend to disagree, but everyone pretty much agrees death is imminent. Except maybe Donald Trump, he believes he can build his own tower in heaven greasing the almighty palm enough to buy himself a private room in eternity. Trump eternal? Talk about living Hell! But we exist in the here and now and frankly if there is a god it will have zero effect on how I choose to live my life, which by the way is far more Christian than most Christians I know. Maybe they should actually read the entire bible and not just the parts they enjoy bragging about. I mean really, what is religion anyway?

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Religion is described as an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence. That makes your religion a random happenstance, an accident of geographic birth not very different from gender, or class. Existentialism is relatively simple. Our existence precedes our essence leading us to an understanding that the self is what’s important, that we are merely tiny specks on tiny cogs in a vast and complex universe. It gives us the ability to defy classification, especially when it comes to religion. Its what’s in our hearts and our minds that matters. Live your best life, treat others as you wish to be treated, help out your fellow humans when they are in need, share and do not judge how others live their lives. Live and let live. Many religions claim to teach those principles yet they condemn others for their lots in life. Its hard for me to get behind a religion that tells you we are all of Gods children then tells you if you’re gay you are an abomination. Clearly forgetting judge not lest ye be judged. It irks me to see a person on social media claim their love of God and tell me how blessed we are and how we should rejoice in one post on social media, then spew hatred at someone because their politics are different than a friend (or ex-friend once politics enters the relationship) in the next. Unfortunately it seems we live in an age of rage, intense hypocrisy, especially among the holy rollers. Religion shouldn’t allow you to feel superior, but humble. Unfortunately most religions fall far short on the humble. This is the main reason most existentialist show distain for religions.

So that’s my take on existentialism, not right for everyone but especially handy if you’re a recovering Catholic, a confused protestant, a paranoid closet Muslim, or a doubting Hindi. Practice whatever damn religion you want but before you continue your religious commitment take existentialism for a test ride around the block. Terms and conditions do not apply, no scrolling past a million words to reach an I Agree button. If your still unsure, ask your clergy if existentialism is right for you. Wait! Check that, better if you just ask yourself the way I did.

I was born scraping and scratching my way through life and now I’ve reached a point where death becomes more and more imminent every day. One of the cruel jokes of life is when we finally much of living is bullshit we are too tired to live the life we should. We allowed money to be the center of our lives, putting us not in a solar system like every other living thing, but an economic system in which we all revolve around money. I should stop before I become more like the people I’m ranting about! Damn, looks like my equine ride has been puffing my weed again. Time for me to get down of my high horse. PEACE

Failure

failure

Failure

Is the measure of a persons life what they leave behind
Was he rich, was he poor, was he at least kind
The value of boundless mirth
Measured in compassion
To our death and from our birth
What was my life worth
Everything on earth

Is the measure of a soul in the pile of toys they owned
How often they got stoned
Did they die alone
Or part of the cheering crowd
Boisterous and loud
Or silently in prayer
Is that the way to compare if living life was ever fair
Taken on a dare
Or is it all just air

Was the value of the person measured in all their failure
Live in a penthouse or a trailer
God or Satan as the jailor
Living a life of mortal sin
To not have reached potential of what could have been
Or should have been
The rise and fall of mighty dreams that would have been
Had my failures not been so crappy
Destroying the self to make them happy
To live inside of their acclaim
Shed the shame and play their game
Because all they asked was make a name
Be someone else
Anyone else
Other than the failure I became

The Dreamers Lament

lament

(Inspired by a Welsh poet who refused to go gentle into that good night)

I was the king of the evening
Time as my mistress
Many darkness’s ago
Life beckoned at my call
I was going to survive forever
Time clutched me close to her breast
A pillow of confidence
Embraced me with endlessness
Swam alongside me
A vast ocean of pleasures
Awarded me her grace
Filling my vessel with
Warm compassionate smiles
And enough comfort to keep me amused
Whispering promises
So many promises
Whispering dreams
Dreams of greatness and grandeur
Oh the potential of the dreams
Dreams she only lent me
Endowed me dominion over the nights
Left me to writhe in the passion filled light
All of my nights

When my world needed seeing
She shone her light across my obscurity
Whispered close
“Your dreams yet to come will burst with elations
Don’t rush past in haste my love
Live inside them and breathe
The brass spiral is yours for the taking
And the world yours to embrace”
Time held my hand to her heart
Laid my head on her shoulder
Hair smelling of sweet promise
Vows were confided
“My prophecy is a life of bliss
But it comes with condition
Embrace them together
And head this warning my love
Don’t close your eyes or blink
You may miss precious moments”
She looked past me into the horizon
Eyes hinting sadness of that yet to come
Foretelling misfortune
Together we shared a teardrop
And a moment

Time is a calculating prophet
I wish I had paid closer attention
To the prophecy I was bound to fulfill
Blindly I continued chasing the air
Sunrises and sunsets came and then left
Leaving me lonely and tired of eyes
Until her prophecy emerged
I shut my eyes too tightly to see
For only one brief second
Moments morphed into memories
Both time and I grew older of age
As time got more distant she added some pounds
Placed the weight of the world on my back
Stripped me my carefree title of midnights
Made me slave of my own 9 to 5
Stresses of lifetimes pulling me down
Gravitationally held in a rut
Please I begged spare me the onus
No longer can I bear the demand

Time offered me beverage of self confident stupor
To lighten the load of minutia
Took more than my share too many times
Filled my lungs with wisps of contentment and joy
Laughing my way past my life
Found euphoric fulfillment in carnal release
Searching for intimate solace
Passions moaned softly under silken enticements
Blissfully moaning in tandem with love
In the midst of salacious confusion
Of blind indulgence I blinked once again
I stood still as the dream ran right past me
Forgotten moments tucked under its arm
My eyes became heavy with lost opportunity
Too much weight for my tear ducts to bear
Dejected I blinked once again
In an instant it they were all gone
Leaving me alone to negotiate the forest ferocious
Void of strength to fight
Unable to flee
Unwilling to reload
Not one second longer can I face the dangers I once braved
Behind me ashes of yesterdays
Billowing smoke of pale ghost dreams
Time has left me for another
But I’m too tired to cry

“Why must it take so long,” I inquired
“Why must it be so long?”
Time blinked
Confused by my query
Once more I offered my dreary supplication
I waded in my own teardrop
“Why must it take so God damn long to die?”
Time held me tender caressing my head
“Close your eyes my love, and let me hold you a while ”
Time sang a song so soft and sweet
Her lullaby sounded just like a dream

STRANGER THAN CAMUS

camus

Taciturn and withdrawn
An outsider from within
Strange man strange world
Lopsided empty grin

An unusual man with blood on his hand
Police took him in for a personal session
Why did he kill a man on the beach
But that was just part of their question
Cop
Come on son come talk to us
We will treat you as a brother
Why did you shoot and kill a man
Why don’t you love your mother
Stranger
I wasn’t really thinking anything
When the stranger began his advance
Life is pointless and so is this
I’m apathetically enhanced

Staring bug eyed in disbelief
The cop attempted to set the scene
When he asked if the man believes in god
The stranger answered “what do you mean?”

The interrogator raised his voice up high
Vocal chords trembling with deep distain
Face full of red and finger pointing
At this killer who took god in vain

Cop
don’t you understand
You cant be a man
He sent his only son
To suffer for your gun
You killed another man
Yet you don’t understand
You shot an Arab dead
Four times into the head
Pumped him full of lead
Now the Lord is at your bed
Yet you question god instead

Stranger

You tell me Jesus suffered
To free me of my shame
Nailed upon a cross of hate
Suffered hours of pain
Absolving us of all our sin
Is that how it begins?
Many died by point of sword
So you can praise your mighty lord
Murder maim blood and libel
Read it all inside your Bible
You sing and praise him once a week
Excuse me sir your faith is bleak

Cop
How can you sit here silent
A criminal so violent
One who causes harm
Discards his mom
Worst of all you have the gall
To not believe in god
Your life is a facade
Your guilty of a murder boy
Your going to lose your head
The chaplain wants to see you
But you go to sleep instead
Good lord son what’s on your mind
You are on trial for someone’s murder
Do you even understand?
You couldn’t act any more absurder

Stranger

You say it’s a trial of murder yet question my belief
Or if I love my mom so much why don’t I practice grief
Because I’m not like you I must be guilty?
Sir I may not be a genius
But faith is for your convenience
Life is vague and meaningless
I don’t care if your God exists
Ignorance is your only bliss
I only want leave
Its not that I don’t believe
It just will never make a difference
No difference to my existence
I don’t need your assistance
Tired of your insistence
I need to keep my distance
Away from your persistence
That your gods existence
Makes a bit of difference
To how I live my life
What’s happened has happened
Only my name is blackened
I am just man
Who killed another man
My life is plain
Like you I pain
Why do say I take god in vain?
I don’t like your spin
No one perished for my sin
You believe your Gods a hero
I believe the theory of zero
You still hold tight your mothers breast
I allow my Maman to rest
That makes me different, not guilty
Not filthy
As you suggest
You say I should die
Because I didn’t cry
At the viewing of my Moms final mile
No tear did I shed
A woman shared my bed
We shared a night of pleasure
What makes you so clever?
My demeanor is not what should be on trial
Not religious denial
I shot in self defense
That’s all that makes sense
What difference if I believe your religion
Put my Mom in a home
And I left her alone
that’s no reason for you to want me in prison
I’m existential
I have not a single goal
Yours is to see my head roll
Life is pointless nothings real
Go ahead, kill me
Then kneel
Kneel and prey to your Lord
And ask for forgiveness

Strangers Judge
In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost I sentence you to death. May God have mercy on your soul

Woodhenge: Behind The Music 3 days of hunting, gathering, and celtic rock

woodhenge I

Woodhenge: Behind The Music
3 days of hunting, gathering, and celtic rock

For three days in the hot period of 3969BC nearly half a million young nomads attended the Woodhenge Music and Arts Festival. It was the most celebrated and peaceful gathering of the Mesolithic period which took place in an area of The Island Britannia which was known as Witheridge. It promised to be a weekend of nomadic tribes enjoying music, love, and peace. But it was not so peaceful for the three promoters, Artemis Field-of-corn, Joelius Rosenthorn, and Micah Langspear. Artemis: “I was as petrified as some of the fossils there. It was like..someone is getting burned at the stake for killing 20,000 people man, and that someone was gonna be me!” Joelius: “I had never seen so many hunters and gatherers in the same place man, it was like Bedrock bedlam. Sex, crazy smoke, weird tablets, and just people everywhere. There was no way someone wasn’t going to get jousted or have their eye poked out with a stone sling man, it was just a crazy scene.” Micah: “I wanted to have a nice small mass of a few thousand, you know, like to share some gathering strategies, new hunting techniques, and maybe exchange some cultural art, which was coming off the cave walls and onto rock trinkets. I never dreamed that so many people existed let alone would come to our festiva1”
It was a troubled era, the end of the 3960’s, the BC’s most turbulent decade. Protests over The Cola Wars pitted tribal leaders against the youth, Neolithic Counterculture protests and civil disobedience gatherings fighting for the rights of crossbow arrow hunters, Gatherer Libbers burning their breast straps, and the assassination of some young leaders of the Liberal Cave Party. It was the Stoned Age, and kids were puffing on crazy smoke and getting stoned all over the European countrysides. Lutes and pan flutes replaced the strings and reeds in music, the female gatherer sheepskin body covering got higher exposing more skin and hunters began braiding their hair. In the middle of the decade the Greek Olympics had become marred with inter species showering and the new event, javelin fondling. It was the beginning of the sexual revolution and attitudes were changing fast. There were female hunters, stay at cave Dads, and manskin arrow handling attitudes were being redefined. The ice age was still on the minds of the older generation but the youth just told them to chill out. The times they were a changing. As the cultures moved out of the caves and into tents a variety of artistic expressions evolved. Young tribal members found new and interesting uses for the blowpipes. Gatherers used them for self gratification and the hunters found they could entice more gatherer groupies by using blowpipes to make new more melodic sounds while others modified the pipes to use as a multiple user smoking tools. The strange new phenomenon of nasal powder sniffing through the tubular blowpipe increased as well as young nomads searched for new ways to get “that feeling”. Power powder, mood tablets, and crazy smoke were sweeping the meadows. A countryside turned on, tuned in, and dropping LCDVII tablets to hallucinate. The time seemed right for three young visionaries to create a gathering, build a monument, and change the flat world forever. But was the Pagan community ready for a Rock and Rumble monument? When we come back, some were building monuments, others jotting down notes …….. (long pause for effect)

It was Joelius Rosenthorn who first had the vision, peering across the huge land mass of grazing Harecleum, the oversized bovines that populated Witheridge. Joelius saw an abundance of milk the gatherers could use to make cheeses and yougurts, and bovine skins to make come do me shoes and negligee’s. The huge animals were prime for prime rib. Giant steak ladden bucks for the hunters to kill and butcher and a wide open area to share and exchange idea’s. Joe had the dream but not the backing. Artemis Field-of-corn, an old friend of Joes who played the cave bear femur flute in his band “The Rolling Boulders” had connections but they came with conditions as well. “I told Joey I could get him enough sheep wool and wolf pelts but we would need to make some monuments for a few Gods, Thoth, Musagette, Cernunnos, and Tzets. A few nice stone pillars all connected like a dais, a table of stone for the Gods, ya know. We could use it as a stage! I had connections for some Granite and Bluestone from Sarsen. That’s when we brought in Michah. Micah: “I had a sweet rock quarry in Sarsen with the perfect stones for making monuments. Only problem was they were huge, hard to move.” The three visionaries had come across their first challenge, moving these two ton slabs of stone some five hundred miles to Witheridge. They went to their old friend Axle Roads from the rock and rumble band Bows and Bouquets who had invented the original Goodyear. Axle: “Micah and I used to race in reverse, we go back a long way. For some back monument passes and a few bags of crazy smoke I promised him my newest invention I called the flatbed could get the boulders to the site. Man he has good weed, haha” Axle delivered but became part of the problem from drinking to much solution. As treacherous as that was it would end up becoming the least of their problems. When we come back, Shepherds State Thruway shut down as thousands leave their chariots to walk to the Woodhenge Festival…….. (Another long pause, even more effect)

Woodhenge, Behind the Music, Three Days of Hunting, Gathering and Celtic Rock

woodhenge II

Part II
After months of planning and hard work the monuments were set, the invitations sent by marathon messenger service, and the weekend was set. The monument would be the stage for a huge array of rock and rumble bands, The Rolling Boulders to Crossbow, Stills, and Gnash. The problem now was finding enough pelts to pay the performers. The trio had gone over budget in the construction of the stage/monument. Rosenthorn: “Man I was like what the fornicate else could go wrong man? More pelts for the bands? I mean this was an opportunity, a chance to perform in front of a mass of hunters and gatheres that could pay off huge in their futures, but half the bands were greedy, expecting extra pelts. And the special requests were like off the branch man. Band members wanted crazy smoke, power powders, their own personal dressing caves, and one even requested a discreet affair with a Welsh sheep. I mean shit man, we couldn’t even get them to the stage let alone worry about finding a prostisheep. Hunters and gatheres came from everywhere man, like exotic places like Germanland and Pastaville. Fuggettaboutit! So many people showed up that they shut down The Shepherds State Thruway. People were abandoning their charriots right there in the paths. It was as if they knew instinctively this was the happening of a lifetime. Hell the happeneing of an entire epoch!” Rosenthorn was right, Pagans from as far away as Kazrockistan were there. Crowd control hadn’t even been conceived yet and the crowd was way out of control. Throwing off their animal skins and copulating right there on the fields. Something had to be done to calm the masses. That’s when Wavy Ravey, an entertainer and peace activist took the stage. “Holy shit man check it out man, there must be 200 thousand of you fornicaters out there man, The Shepherds State Thruway is closed man, hahaha. Lotta freaks, hahaha. We’re just about ready to get this show rumbling, are all you hunters and gatherers ready to rock?” The crowd stirred nervously not knowing what to expect until Wavy Ravey yelled really loud, “I said are you Mother Copulaters ready to rock and rumble?”
The crowd roared its approval as a dark skinned former hunter took to the stage with his horse hipbone and strings guitar and began playing music. It was Richmond Havenshire and he kicked off the show singing about freedom. It looked as if everything was finally going smooth, but back in the Mesolithic era, nothing ever stayed smooth for long. When we come back, Alexander the Great threatens to send in The Macedonia National Reserve jackbooted soldiers as the party crazed hunters and gatherers discover bronze, and the Kama Sutra….. (Insert pause here)

Woodhenge was in full flight, the bands were playing as the attendees let loose. Stoned out stone agers dancing naked, swimming in tiny waterholes, and making some noise. Too much noise according to neighbors of the sites owner, Maximus Yazgurian. “I’m a farmer, and I can barely speak to twenty other agriculturist at a time let alone half a million nomads, but they proved to the world that young people could get together for hunting gathering and music and have nothing but hunting, gathering, and music. I just wish my pain in the ether region neighbors saw it that way.” Here’s what the neighbors had to say, “Those hunters were disgusting, swinging their reproductive things all over the place, screaming and yelling. It was like watching a charriot wreck, disgusting yet I couldn’t take my eyes off of them!” ….. “I don’t know whats the matter with those kids, all hopped up on crazy smoke and Thor knows what else. I was scared, properly frightened for my life.” ….. “Someone should do something, come up with a multiple person explody thing or get word to the authorities. I went to feed my sheep and caught five young hunters engaging in a sexual act with them. I’ll tell you this, if my sheep end up giving birth to some kind of sheeperson or something I’m headed straight to the Enquirer. Somehow the news had gotten to an authority in the name of Alexander The great, who was well known for being jealous of anyone having more sex than he was. Alexander sent his fastest marathon messenger to Artemis who was proper frightened. Atremis: “Holy Isis I was shitting pottery squares, I mean Al the Great man, he don’t fucking play. One seriously mean mother humper. It wasn’t until I saw the falcon flying that I finally chilled. I knew that could only mean one thing, The Alchemist had traveled from the deserts of Egypt and if anyone could change Alexander’s wrath into fear it was The Alchemist.”
The Alchemist had indeed traveled to Woodhenge and not only had he brought relief to the festval co-ordinators, he had come to introduce the hunters to a new metal he had discovered in his search of gold. Bronze. Bronze would revolutionize not only hunting, but warring and and art as well. New protective gear could be made from this bronze, newer and more efficient killing utensils, and some tools for digging up earth. But what the Alchemist really intended the new metal for was for metal bands. He brought bronze sculpted musical instruments which would change the course of Rumble and Roll music forever. More versatile and more sounds from his bronze rams horn blower than the traditional ones, bronze saucers for the drumming rock kits, and a more durable and easily replaced bronze lute so band members could trash their instruments on stage. The first one to use these new bronze instruments was Ozzinald Ozzbourne, using the heavy metal instruments in his loud band, “Black Churchday” .. Ozzinald, “I was like I’m the fucking prince of darkness, that’s why the the the the the the alk, alchemist ghghghghh gfgdgdg the broze shit man. I’m the fucking prince of darkness.” Ozzinald’s mumbling was hard to understand and honestly we have no idea what he was saying but when he sang he sang beautifully and the crowd was mesmerized by Black Churdays new sound. In the very near future just about every rock and rumble band would be playing in bronze. But that wasn’t the most significant contributiuon The Alchemist made. When we return, Jefferson Airplane heads to Macedonia as the festival rumbles on. (Yup, another effective pause)

Like most others of his ilk The Alchemist had trained his falcon well. Quickly replacing the marathon messengers falcons all around the Nile were a much faster and more efficient means of communication. The Alchemists falcon, called Jeffersonm Airplane was one of the fastest, and fiercest. With a message and bag of gold nuggets Jefferson Airplane flew to Macedonia to pay a visit to Alex the Great. Artemis was relieved and gave The Alchemist some extra special crazy smoke to enjoy. “Man it was awesome, The Alchemist was so stoned he just sat there with a huge smile on his face. The bands were finally getting to and from the Woodhenge stage without effort and the crowd was under control. Then the mighty Thor made his prescence known with a loud crack of thunder followed by heavy rain. Neil Young Dude and the Kings Krazy Horses were on stage chanting no rain no rain which caught on quickly with the crowd. That was the first known sample of a rain dance and instead of ruining the ruins the crowd embraced it. They invented new games, mud wrestling, naked mud wrestling, and mud sliding.
The new game naked mud wrestling didn’t go unnoticed and was ripe for being exploited A stange Hindu reveler was amonst the Celtic Nomads by the Vatsyayana. He had recently published a codex of sexual acts he called The Kama Sutra, and he saw this as a golden showered opportunity for great publicity. His codex was a set of pictures and descriptions of many unusual positions that would bring smiles to both the hunters and the gatherers, with special tips on arousing the arrow tips of the hunters. “Holy Cow it was a dream come true. The young kids were so stoned it was easy to make them get in my strange poses like the downward spiraling anaconda thruster and my upward facing reverse holy cowgirl. And my god Vishnu they were more than willing to try every position in my codex. My sales would be through the Himalaya tops.” The sexual revolution ready to explode and before the end of the decade gatherers would be stripping, dancing around maypoles, and giving lap ceremonial maneuvers. Spider webcams would be popping up hidden in caves and hunters would be popping up underneath their loincloths. The Mesolithic era was becoming the Meso lick it era.
In the end history would forget Woodhenge and be replaced by the mysteries of the monuments ruins. But at the time revelers surprised the world by leaving peacefully, contented and educated, and they even cleaned up as they left. Three days after the fesival there was little evidence that a half million nomads had gathered, listened to Rumble and Roll music, experimented with sexual positions in the fields, partied their asses of and left. All that remained was the monument. Artemis: “When the three of us saw how weird it looked, no longer looking like a stage at all with just the monument stones standing in a circle Micah had an idea.” Micah: “Maybe I was still high from all the drugs sex and rumble and roll but a thought occurred to me and I laughed. What if we just never tell anyone else about this and in time everyone forgets. People will come here and wonder what the intercourse is this? We laughed for hours wondering what strange explantions they may come up with. Imagine what a goof that would be, hehehe.” Strange explanations indeed, the “goof” as they called it was prophetic as history would scratch its chronologic head for centuries to come wondering how and why these giant monoliths appereared out of no where. They still stand today but the Legend Of Woodhenge will be forever lost. Except by us hipsters anyway! I’m Marksamus Goodman and this has been an eMp Tee V music channel exclusive.
Peace

She Called

she called

She called you
Wanted you to romance her
Thought that would enhance her
Never got an answer
Now she’s blue
I saw her
You suck
You’re a shmuck
Wish it was me
If she called me I would adore her
I wish I could call her
Tell what I saw you do
If she only knew
How often you’re untrue
Something I would never do
Maybe then she’d adore me too
But she waits
Waits for you to notice
The blossoming of her lotus
She’s ready for submission
A little recognition
Is all she’s hoping for
Me too
You give her body lots of attention
Her thoughts you never even mention
Yet she called you
And you didn’t answer
I’d answer if she called me
Treat her so respectfully
Treat her with some dignity
But she wants you
No matter what you do
She deserves so much better
If she asked me I would let her
Just be herself
Not a trophy on my shelf
I adore her for who she is
Not because she’s a prize
Or her beautiful eyes
But the thoughts she thinks, the sound of her voice
Whatever she wants to do I’d let that be her choice
And I’d be true
That’s what I would do
If she called me
I would show her love
Maybe if she knew
Or if she felt it too
We could become the two
No more I’d be alone
So I wait here with my phone
And dream of her ringtone
OMG that’s her
That’s her number
What a stunner
She’s calling me
What should I do
Answer her fool
Maybe now’s your chance
She’s ready for romance
She’ll leave that cheating jerk
We could make love work
Answer her now
Quick don’t wait
Oh my god
Don’t wait don’t wait
SHIT!
…………..Too late
Maybe she’ll leave a message
She’ll ask me if I’ll choose her
Fuck it she probably won’t, I’m a loser
Next time

Words Of War

peace

Words dissolve into rage
Bathed in ironic anger
When irony fills with blood
WAR

Beliefs emerge from faith
Faith flows into egos
When egos are expressed in words
WAR

Power is in the money
Money translates to power
When greed overtakes the power
WAR

Earth is for territory for all to live on
Territory gets claimed as possessions
When possessions are build into borders
WAR

Survival lasts for only the fittest
Fittest translates to physical dominance
When oppression goes to the highest bidder
WAR

When Money Religion Oppression Power Ego Greed Possessiveness Strength Anger all over-flex their muscles in words
WAR

When the earth belongs to no one and everyone
When humane doctrines can be followed without prejudice
When Words can be filled with reason and not blindness
When misguided ignorance can be taught to understand
When we can use words to help one another
PEACE

NO WAY

no way

This ain’t no way to live
Wake up to a challenge every day
Steaming hot cup of liquid courage
Before we get up and on our way

This ain’t no way to live
Everyday just like the one before
At night a wine glass full of forget
Because existence is such a bore

This ain’t no way to die
On this here slow ride carousel
Find yourself a Sunday congregation
Keep your ass from burnin in Hell

This ain’t no way to die
A mirror that fills the heart with rage
Showing how bad we neglect ourselves
Each day without mercy reveal our age

This ain’t no way to live
Chasing dollars just so we can eat
Feeling inferior to the big boss man
Doing what we do to make ends meet

This ain’t no way to live
Never really getting anything finished
Except maybe a weekend to do list
Accomplishments always seem diminished

This ain’t no way to die
Bucket list full of never got done
Get buried somewhere out in Stepford
Without having ever gone on that run

This ain’t no way to die
With a soul full of empty unkept quests
Never having chased the honest dream
Destined to return back to our nests

No way
This ain’t no way
No way to live or die
Ending up in the end
Never knowing why
No way
That game we have to play
That life ending ballet
Do we really have to stay
No Way

Kafkaesque Love Affair

kaftkasque

Loneliness was all he had and everything he was
Developed a love with a solution and a vial
A relationship that flourished for quite a long time
Both now searching for a little place to smile

But like many lovers a possessive bond did form
Star crossed lovers in each others shadow ever bleak
Together an existence in bargain basement Nirvana
No one could listen when reasons voice would speak

Relying much too heavy across each others boundaries
Exchanging vows of love upon a bloodstained spike
Unbearable unhappiness they found the freedom to suffer
Counting out their blessing of all things that they dislike

Lacking all joy they were free to create their own martyrs
In reckless abandon enthralled in anarchistic passion love
Hopelessness and fear became their finest hour of truth
One last miserable push with the moon glowing up above

Through despair into fate they came to terms with a reality
Wishing to die they finally began to understand their lot
Together forever embraced with antagonistic emotions
Their bond of death became the twisting of their plot