Living La Vida Existential

exi strip

Is your belief system stressing you out with too many demands? Why not try Living La Vida Existential. Belief systems are so difficult to maintain these days with all the rules and regulations and the conflicting messages. My creator all mighty its hard maintaining any religion these days. I mean love thy neighbor, unless they’re gay, no unmarried sex unless you wear religious garments, a bunch of commandments to uphold, just way too much work remembering how to make the verse from whatever your good book happens to be to fit into the desired result. Are you tired of having to go to a house of worship once a week? Got bruises on your knees from too much kneeling? Maybe you’re tired of having to admit the evil rule breaking you committed during the week to an obscure stranger in a dark box? Are you looking for a belief system that doesn’t cost you so much money, even going as far as having baskets shaken in your face shaming you into giving up your hard earned cash? Does your religion make so many demands on you want to scream, “I’m mad as the burning afterlife and I’m not gonna take it anymore.”? Or scare the actual Hell out of you by threatening to send you straight to Hell? Would you like to stop having to fold your hands and talk to yourself before bed, listen to your stomach growl with hunger while everyone has to wait for that one person to say grace? If so, then Living La Vida Existentialism may be right for you. For a limited time you too can become an Existentialist and throw away all the categories and labels religions place on you. It’s easy, all you have to do is believe in yourself. So hurry, this offer expires when you do so act now!

Thousands of people have been turning away from the out-dated teachings of organized religion. If you like belonging to a group but would prefer something more modern, more flexible and reasonable maybe its time for change. Why not considered Living La Vida Existential? Being an existentialist is fun and easy to do, plus it free’s you of all those pesky tenet requirements of organized religions. The best part is you can do it in your spare time in the privacy of your home or office, or even while texting from the bathroom. Not only that, it cost no money and is open to absolutely everyone, no experience required. All that is required is an open mind, and you already have a mind so wait no longer. Open it up to a world of possibilities. Forget all those ugly theological labels, like gay abominations, lustful coveters, or sinners in the war on god. Existentialism is skin color blind, gender blind, and practices actual non judgmental living, not the phony non-judgmentalists who pray and point their finger calling others names (No, pray was not a misuse, its a play on words. Its okay to joke when your existential) Sexual orientation remains your business in existentialism. Its all about living your life the way it should be, free of all the garbage that has built up over the ages such as attempting to explain the unexplainable with cartoon precision. Wile E. Coyote can paint a usable tunnel because its The Roadrunners will. Don’t involve yourself in a which came first argument, the egg and the chicken arrived simultaneously and have always been. We are here and we are alive, what difference does it make when we first came to be here on this planet? Be fair, be just, and forget about judging others, just enjoy life while your living it. No need to condemn your neighbors and call them unholy, that won‘t help you live well. No need to force others to believe what you believe either. Why you don’t even need to exclaim to the world that existentialism is the one true religion, and practitioners of any religion other than that is an express ticket to damnation. Its not a religion, it’s a REALigion.

Actually, its not a religion at all, it’s a philosophy, more like Hakuna Matata, or Karmic Existence. It’s a very common misconception, existentialists are often misunderstood, sometimes even by other existentialists. They are not nihilists or anarchists, not Pagans or polytheists, not occultists or Satan worshipers. Nor are they atheists, although by strict definition most existentialist are Atheist, just not practicing Atheists. No need to go to an anti-church and praise scientific logic, deny God, or sing songs like “Imaginary Grace” or “The Old Rugged Death Penalty”, just accept that there is an abundance of ignorance in the world and let those who don’t get life have their bliss.

Existentialism is a philosophical belief not a faith. Many people today are jumping on the ex tr ain because its believed that existentialist are clever intellectuals that speak in profound quotes of some of the more famous existentialists. “I think therefore I am”, “He thought therefore he was“ “He will think therefore……” you get it. . While most of us are indeed very clever, we are no a bunch of beret wearing brainiacs who sip cappuccinos at cafes and discuss matters of global implications. You don’t need to be a college graduate and read every work of Kierkegaard, Sartre, or Kant. Many existentialists are just average people whose beliefs do not fit in to a mainstream belief that we were all created by the one true creator be it God, Yahweh, Jumping Jehovah, Allah, or He-Man Master of the Universe. We don’t need a structured religion to explain to us how we should live our life, what will happen to us if we don’t follow the rules, what happens when we die, and who is the one we must consider to be superior to everyone and everything in the universe even though we are the tiniest speck of a planet in an unimaginable vastness. Simply, everyone is equal and deserves equal respect. That’s not to say we can‘t believe in divinity.

Existentialism does not rule out the possibility of a creator although for the majority if there is a creator its nothing like the one most of us were force-fed as children. No all-knowing all-seeing god who demands praise from everyone, sitting on a metaphoric throne waiting for us to come to him. No angels waiting up in a gated paradise community playing incessant harp music in the clouds as we ascend to heaven. But that’s not to say that some form of energy or entity didn’t have a hand in getting the ball rolling so to speak. For existentialists it’s a little clearer than believing a magic image in the sky that is watching over everyone to make sure we behave. It seems a bit arrogant of a god to take credit for all the good shit that happens but then when the fecal matter hit’s the oscillating rotary alter everything goes to, pardon the expression, Hell in a hand basket. No waving of the hand explaining things away by way of mysterious ways being worked we’re apparently not clever enough to understand. That kind of deck stacking would have you banned from every casino from here to the Netherworld. It’s more about a cycle of life, we’re born, we live our life, then we die. We exist in that cycle just the same as every non worshiping living thing on earth. I can’t prove this but I firmly believe bacteria do not worship any pathogen gods or pray in any amoebic temples yet they live the same cycle we do. The bottom line is everything lives, everything evolves, and everything dies. Respect all life.

We all accept that others lived before us, and others will live after us, and in every religion death is an accepted stage. However temporary, whether it leads to paradise, another life, another stage of existence, a box bed covered with dirt, a reduction to ashes in an urn, or pure nothingness it happens to us all. What occurs after death we tend to disagree, but everyone pretty much agrees death is imminent. Except maybe Donald Trump, he believes he can build his own tower in heaven greasing the almighty palm enough to buy himself a private room in eternity. Trump eternal? Talk about living Hell! But we exist in the here and now and frankly if there is a god it will have zero effect on how I choose to live my life, which by the way is far more Christian than most Christians I know. Maybe they should actually read the entire bible and not just the parts they enjoy bragging about. I mean really, what is religion anyway?

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Religion is described as an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence. That makes your religion a random happenstance, an accident of geographic birth not very different from gender, or class. Existentialism is relatively simple. Our existence precedes our essence leading us to an understanding that the self is what’s important, that we are merely tiny specks on tiny cogs in a vast and complex universe. It gives us the ability to defy classification, especially when it comes to religion. Its what’s in our hearts and our minds that matters. Live your best life, treat others as you wish to be treated, help out your fellow humans when they are in need, share and do not judge how others live their lives. Live and let live. Many religions claim to teach those principles yet they condemn others for their lots in life. Its hard for me to get behind a religion that tells you we are all of Gods children then tells you if you’re gay you are an abomination. Clearly forgetting judge not lest ye be judged. It irks me to see a person on social media claim their love of God and tell me how blessed we are and how we should rejoice in one post on social media, then spew hatred at someone because their politics are different than a friend (or ex-friend once politics enters the relationship) in the next. Unfortunately it seems we live in an age of rage, intense hypocrisy, especially among the holy rollers. Religion shouldn’t allow you to feel superior, but humble. Unfortunately most religions fall far short on the humble. This is the main reason most existentialist show distain for religions.

So that’s my take on existentialism, not right for everyone but especially handy if you’re a recovering Catholic, a confused protestant, a paranoid closet Muslim, or a doubting Hindi. Practice whatever damn religion you want but before you continue your religious commitment take existentialism for a test ride around the block. Terms and conditions do not apply, no scrolling past a million words to reach an I Agree button. If your still unsure, ask your clergy if existentialism is right for you. Wait! Check that, better if you just ask yourself the way I did.

I was born scraping and scratching my way through life and now I’ve reached a point where death becomes more and more imminent every day. One of the cruel jokes of life is when we finally much of living is bullshit we are too tired to live the life we should. We allowed money to be the center of our lives, putting us not in a solar system like every other living thing, but an economic system in which we all revolve around money. I should stop before I become more like the people I’m ranting about! Damn, looks like my equine ride has been puffing my weed again. Time for me to get down of my high horse. PEACE

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