Dark Pasenger

dark

Stealthily crouched in the crevice of my mind
Growing confidently stronger time after time
Gorging itself on self hatred and doubt
Remains silent to others in an esoteric shout

His pursuit is to shape my existence to one of misery
Loading up dark thoughts to take away my liberty
Hitched a ride into my thoughts while I was driving blind
His hands across my ego as he choked it from behind

An evil manifestation of my disappointments and my fear
Enticing self effacement every day of every year
Constantly reminding the lowly failure I’ve become
I’m a counterfeit copy echo, a stinking lousy bum

When finally I reach the apex of a satisfied happy smile
I feel him growing anxious to convert my manner vile
Teasing me and taunting till I’m full of restless doubt
Planting dark suspicions letting paranoia sprout

“Why does she always strut about in such revealing attire
She’s probably already cheating boy you know that she’s a liar
Look at the two of them over there so happy and so gay
Maybe plotting a rendezvous at a motel far away”

“She smiles every time he’s near him, anywhere that’s close
Behind your back complains to him how you are so morose
She’ll surely be making love to him don’t know where or when
Every single one of your lovers cheated in the bed other men”

A haunting constant reminder of all my past day deeds
He teases and taunts me while planting wicked seeds
I’m gullible I’m stupid, I’m repugnant and so ugly
He convinces all too easy while smiling at me smugly

He never shuts up never stops keeps stabbing at my pride
Plunging deep his evil doubts till they’re deep down inside
Raising my self loathing while lowering all of my esteem
Convinces me how worthless is this loser slug supreme

The suspicions that he feeds me are all just in my head
But to me its real and its all too true everything he’s said
I’m a faker and a phony just an unproductive excuse
From all I’ve done from all I am I deserve his foul abuse

I want to be rid him from my head I need to thrown him out
I can’t live my lifelike this always drowning in self doubt
Need to form a strategy to silence the treacherous voice
When the passenger is finally dead is when I will rejoice

Because each day seems like torture, each day is a fight
I spend most my waking hours trying to get my head on right
I struggle hard to silence all his omnipresent pestering
Pray I don’t act on the puss of darkness that is festering

People joke about the voices in their head but those voices are quite often our own thoughts out of control and they can seem real and intimidating. It’s easy to tell someone “just ignore it and it will go away” but its not always that easy. Society sets so many high bars for us to live up, body image, athletic ability……… it can create a vortex of self doubt and low self esteem. We as parents or friends are also teachers, and one of the most important lessons we can teach is for our children to believe in themselves, but to do that we need to first believe in ourselves. Peace.

6 thoughts on “Dark Pasenger

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