Within The Shadow

shad

 

 

Sneakily obscure

Surreptitiously vile

Creeps in the shadow

Billowing bile

Take me to slaughter

Crushing my head

Pestle and mortar

I’m mentally dead

Cranial mutilation

Heart in a vice

Brain spliced in pieces

Begging for Christ

Rumination poised

Biding it’s time

Disaster in making

Drowning in slime

 

The shadow compulsion

Smothering the hopeful

Choking emotion

The obscure deadly murder

Intent unspoken

Torture the sick

Spewing profane

Driving the weak

Who cry out insane

Mindless abyss

Barren and void

Thoughts in the wind

Drive us insane

Always inside

Screaming my name

 

My silent companion

Leaves me abandoned

Lonely and stranded

Remanded disbanded

And branded

A loser

Shadow traveler controlling the ride

Destroying my pride

No place to hide

Ripping out segments of my self esteem

My dreams

And schemes

Life!

Never what it seems

Inside the shadows

Hidden destroyer

Paranoia employer

Mean and unkind

Scraping the insides

Of my head and my mind

Leaving me blind

And my sanity behind

Unhinged and crying

All the noise and the din

No escape from the shadow

Or what’s hidden within

 

 

 

Reality Dissolves

empty

A vacancy so hollow it causes deep pain
Dreams echo inside abysmal desolation
Chasing sanity down glass rabbit holes
Existence perpetuated through dark desperation

Broken lucidity
Unruly validity
Emotion fragility
From all this hostility

My prophet he poured me hope on the rocks
Said “listen my friend, this to shall pass”
Illusion is always an arm length away
Reality dissolves at the bottom of the glass

Life on the run
Tasting a gun
Call 9-1-1
Before its all done

Solace can be found in chemical compounds
Bliss arises when the mind is all blurred
And dead or alive is a relative term
When life hinges upon the absurd

Graveyard Of Confusion

grave

The acrid smell of a forced suicide
Mixed with bitter taste of disillusion
Rising in sheets from under my feet
Death in the graveyard of confusion

Laying inside this musky black box
Breathing once tasteless odors of life
Exhaling death with each and every breath
Bearing scars from the Grim Reapers knife

Primordial vomit from deep under the earth
Coughed up in stench from the breath of Satan
Wrapping a putrid and vile solution of bile
In confusion I stared at them vacant

Are they all here to give me a ride
Passenger of death or just an illusion
Confusion reigns king in the suicide ring
Around the graveyard of confusion

Dark Pasenger

dark

Stealthily crouched in the crevice of my mind
Growing confidently stronger time after time
Gorging itself on self hatred and doubt
Remains silent to others in an esoteric shout

His pursuit is to shape my existence to one of misery
Loading up dark thoughts to take away my liberty
Hitched a ride into my thoughts while I was driving blind
His hands across my ego as he choked it from behind

An evil manifestation of my disappointments and my fear
Enticing self effacement every day of every year
Constantly reminding the lowly failure I’ve become
I’m a counterfeit copy echo, a stinking lousy bum

When finally I reach the apex of a satisfied happy smile
I feel him growing anxious to convert my manner vile
Teasing me and taunting till I’m full of restless doubt
Planting dark suspicions letting paranoia sprout

“Why does she always strut about in such revealing attire
She’s probably already cheating boy you know that she’s a liar
Look at the two of them over there so happy and so gay
Maybe plotting a rendezvous at a motel far away”

“She smiles every time he’s near him, anywhere that’s close
Behind your back complains to him how you are so morose
She’ll surely be making love to him don’t know where or when
Every single one of your lovers cheated in the bed other men”

A haunting constant reminder of all my past day deeds
He teases and taunts me while planting wicked seeds
I’m gullible I’m stupid, I’m repugnant and so ugly
He convinces all too easy while smiling at me smugly

He never shuts up never stops keeps stabbing at my pride
Plunging deep his evil doubts till they’re deep down inside
Raising my self loathing while lowering all of my esteem
Convinces me how worthless is this loser slug supreme

The suspicions that he feeds me are all just in my head
But to me its real and its all too true everything he’s said
I’m a faker and a phony just an unproductive excuse
From all I’ve done from all I am I deserve his foul abuse

I want to be rid him from my head I need to thrown him out
I can’t live my lifelike this always drowning in self doubt
Need to form a strategy to silence the treacherous voice
When the passenger is finally dead is when I will rejoice

Because each day seems like torture, each day is a fight
I spend most my waking hours trying to get my head on right
I struggle hard to silence all his omnipresent pestering
Pray I don’t act on the puss of darkness that is festering

People joke about the voices in their head but those voices are quite often our own thoughts out of control and they can seem real and intimidating. It’s easy to tell someone “just ignore it and it will go away” but its not always that easy. Society sets so many high bars for us to live up, body image, athletic ability……… it can create a vortex of self doubt and low self esteem. We as parents or friends are also teachers, and one of the most important lessons we can teach is for our children to believe in themselves, but to do that we need to first believe in ourselves. Peace.

Last Call

last call

Last call for alcohol
Last call before I fall
Last drink at the brink
Reload for the road

Toss them knucklebones praying for a seven
Man I need the roll of a lifetime
Fell on snake eyes just a little bit too often
But gambling with life is now my pastime

Need one good draw let the river flow high
Please give me some straight loyalty
Waited all my life to pull that inside line
And fill my house with royalty

Because I’ve come up for air already three times lucky
And now its time to sink or swim
Bartenders about ready to make that final call
The lights they are a growin’ dim

Last shout before lights out
Last rites before I shut the lights
Last chance for one last dance
Last save before I’m in the grave

Just not sure I have the stamina to go one more round
Maybe I should take a fall
Laces are undone the sparring mittens are off
Ref’s about to make the call

The whistle is a blowing its time to punch the clock
Hit it for the final time
Everybody reaches retirement in the by and by
Everybody makes that climb

So line fifteen numbered ox bones on the felt of green
Rack em up one last time
I need a combo off a cushion down into the corner hole
I’m playing with my final dime

Last call for alcohol
Last call before I fall
Last drink at the brink
Reload for the road

Death the Redeemer

redeemer

Shadow of sorrow
Crooked sly smile
Creeping the corner
Nefarious and vile

Reeking deathly odor
Cross upon the priest
Shouting last rites
Expelling the beast

Only one way out
Admitting the crime
Own up to the act
A confession in time

Gently he soothes
Removing the strife
Enticing the sinner
To forfeit his life

Its death the redeemer
Collecting the debt
For crimes of the heart
A blade soaking wet

Son take my hand
On this I insist
Power in your hand
Answer on your wrist

Sins have been written
Deep into cement
Death is a calling
Its time to repent

Release the dark faucet
Close with your breath
Close tightly the mirrors
Encounter your death

Voice Of No Reason

voice

Golden is the silent mind
Sound judgment at the core
But silent voices deep inside
Can make ones temper soar

Quiet time is happy time
Serenity has its perks
But in calm and quiet corner
The voice it always lurks

Do you hear the silent voice
The voice from deep inside
If you hear the silent voice
Its best you run and hide

Cuz when you hear the silent voice
It tells you who you are
If the silent voice screams loud
Your brain will burn and char

You don’t want to hear that noise
Or be who it says you are
Cuts deep inside your thinking dome
And leaves a nasty scar

Silent shrieks prohibit you
To know left from the right
Wrong is right and right is wrong
Inside a constant fight

Towering whispers cloaked in reason
A message may change your life
If you obey the stealth command
You’ll find blood upon the knife

When that sound gets hold of you
It bends and shapes your mind
Forcing you in all directions
Commands you from behind

Thoughts they echo in your head
The voice is in control
Smiling at you ear to ear
As you fall through the hole

Break the rules the judges set
Fill your heart with treason
Kneel and pray to what you hear
The voice that’s lacking reason

Enter The Void

eyes

His search saw him travel across the great sea
Sharp oars in his eyes as he rowed out to me
Where shall we venture I wondered inside
He said come on board so I went for the ride

So stealth was the smirk I mistook it a grin
In voice oh so pleasant he begged come on in
I’ve waited many an hour to take you abroad
Tears filled my eye as my memories roared

My ghosts were battered and bruised barely no breath
I objected to marching head first into death
But we entered the hallways where life dare not tread
I knew in that instant the boatman was dead

My destination arrived it was time to depart
The redeemer in front of me pulling a cart
The cart it was full of clay, flesh, and bone
Into the dark hallway I entered alone