Tag: life

Sin Times Seven

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seven

 

 

With a profound yearn I stared
Eyes aching inside my head
Dare I attempt stealing a peek
Peel back the jaded curtain
Glimpse inside the forbidden mind
Will I see my intimate solicitor
Fantasy goddess bathed in lust
In the bedroom of debauchery
Nay it is the reflection of Narcissus
Smiling back at me before the fall
Shall I sip from this abundant pool
Stare naked in the waves of deception
Ingest the water of ravenous virtues
Sate myself on mutual salaciousness
Or shall I keep this bliss for myself
Exile her to my bed chained in apathy
Enslave her tortured devotions as mine
Rage against the betrayal of desire
Exploding fury upon our rapture
Engorge ourselves on pleasure and pain
Until we can consume no longer
Our lethargic bodies idle and degenerate
Lust suffering listlessly in atrophy
Destroyed by each deadly sin
Times seven
Live and Love in Peace

Climb Of Freedom

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when-freedom

 

 

My past is my prison
Shame forged shackles
Enslaved for too long
When will I know freedom
Be proud of my name
Unchain my tortured soul
Find a sanction of solace
Immune from all my evils
Shall it be only once I cease?
Some say when you die
You must carry your cross
To the top of the mountain
The precipice of redemption
To confront absolution
Others say when you die
It’s the souls you must carry
Of all you have wronged
Their full ballast on one shoulder
Far to much weight to bear in solitary
Yet the path must be mine alone
Achieve my tribulations unencumbered
Atop the cliffs of eternity
Frightened I request company
Yet I know in my heart
I must climb up that onus unescorted
To the peak of my own making
Where my virtues are stained in blood
And my merits abashed into ruins
There I must stand before providence
Naked in my atonements
That I can finally commence
The unburdening of my ills
Then is when I find freedom
I’m also told that this is only a story
Archaic tales of meandering souls
But what are our souls
But a collection of our stories
Waiting to be told
Waiting to be free

Live and Love in Peace

 

There Was A Time

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there-was-a-time

 

 

There was a time
When I looked ahead
Infinite roads of gold
I believed I could reach out
Grab my future
Life was within my grasp
I was the master of time
Now I just look behind
And its all so far away
So elaborately distant
Far out of my reach
I dropped so many moments
But there was a time
There was a time
With the eyes of youth
I could see ever so clear
Knew just who I could be
But I became far too many
I don’t even know which me I am
I been so many lives
Seen so very many sunsets
Since the days of my youth
That my visions clouded
Now my eyes only see
A ravaged reflection
Of what the present holds in its arms
But there was a time

There was a time
I could have owned the world
Ruled my very destiny
Gardens of adventure
Mine for the taking
Living the life
Scratching my name in the stars
To leave my mark
Now life has done the etching
Tattooed on my soul
Scars of the past
Reminding me always
That there was a time

Time is the ultimate in freedom, it can never be chained, never be stopped. There are many important times but no time is as important as right now. I’m never am sure of where I’m going or how I’ll get there but one consistent in life is time. Time is everything that ever was or ever will be and at a certain point it feels like its all happening at once. You can look ahead or look behind, your choice, but you can’t change it or erase it because time never stops or starts it just is. And was or will be. Time can be measured in seconds, hours, days, years, decades, or whatever delineation we assign it but for each of us time is right now, this very moment. There are times we recall and times we forget but one thing I’ll always be able to remember is….There was a time

Looking Back In Anger

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looking-back

 

It could have been Tuesday
Or Thursday
The days all seemed the same
Maybe it’ll happen tonight
Or maybe tomorrow
A painful waiting game
But I knew it was coming
Or was it going
Only time can know
Why did I need to watch it
Or worse, live it
See the cancer grow
Cancer is an arrogant shit
Stepping on hearts with depravity
But I remember you you shit
That very night it took my Mom
Cancer spun and waltzed to the ballroom floor
In an ugly miasmic dance with death
Teasing and taunting
Till we could take it no more
Dispassionate
Sucking up all her breath
She didn’t even know she was at home
Thought she was alone
Didn’t know how much I cared
Cancer took her brain away
Left her lonely and scared
With vile indifference
Some unfamiliar eyes looked my way
Like they had something important to say
But it wasn’t mom who was staring
The eyes were too angry
Then in my Moms deaths voice to taunt me
“Who are you? Why are you here? I don’t know you”
“It’s me Mom, your prodigal son. I’ve come back home.”
“You’re not my son, I’ve never seen you before in my life”
The anger in her eyes was vaguely familiar
At the same time completely foreign
Still they cut like a razor through my soul
Bleeding out the shame of virtues past
Burning a hole in my confidence
It wasn’t her it wasn’t her
It was the Cancer talking
Leaving me wounded
One final indignity
To taunt my reflection
Cancer cares for no one

Memories are like watching reruns of our lives. Many make us smile, swell with pride and feel the comfort and warmth of an epoch of our younger days. Sometimes they bring on a state of melancholy leaving us yearning for those days while others make us outright sad and depressed, especially when the memory is of something ripped from our hearts. They come as an ending, a final memory, the last episode. This is inspired from my final memory of my Mom who passed from cancer many years ago. I left home when I thought I had become a man to become an adult on my own terms which intensified the already established rift between my mother and I. Fortunately mere months before she was diagnosed with cancer we had come to understand and appreciate each other and our relationship had returned to a strong mother /son bond. On the downside, this made the end so much harder…

The Sun Also Rises

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sunrise

 

Props to Papa

Stealthily the sun soars above our heads
In a glorious haze of red and yellow
Stretching its warmth over the horizon
Playing solar games in the mountains
Until her once bright light tires and dims
She courtesy and dips below the surface
Allowing darkness to create mazes and enigmas
The sun does set
Perplexities that plague a generation
Lost in search of awaterbead drop
Of integrity from a world immoral
Decadence and depravity amongst
The promise of reassurance and love
Only to crumble under dark shadows
Of the evil lurking in midnight mists
The hope of liberation rises with light
A sensual bright enriching solar massage
Which breathes life into the elusive dying
Men drink and fight so with the bulls
With delicacy and grace their women
Soothe their angst with enigmatic skill
Allowing the sun to ascend triumphantly
For what profit hath a man of all his labor which he taketh under the sun*
Even as nightfall sets upon a generation lost in it’s own obscurity
The sun also rises

 

With sincerity she glides up on shore
Her shining bright diamond arrows
Shot across from a maroon Kimono
Bursts brilliance across our vision
Shedding it’s luminosity across a horizon
Opening the portals of our enlightenment
Yes the dependable sun will again set
But the sun also rises
*Ecclesiastics 1:3

 

 
Live and Love in Peace

What’s That Daddy? A Question of Perspective

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dad

 

Why are you crying Dad
Are you happy or sad?
Right now I’m sad my love
Why do we get sad Dad?
Sadness is part of life Baby Girl
As sorrows burrow
Deep within our selves
It leaves an empty tunnel
To be filled with joy
You fill that tunnel for me everyday
Sometimes it’s okay to be sad
Because happiness exists after sadness
The beautiful sound you hear
When you play the violin
Was born in the anguish of a tree
That grew sad as it was torn down
That wine that brings me joy
Was squeezed from the berry
Born of the tears of the vine tender
Shed when we extracted its luscious fruits

Happiness and sadness both exist within you
Your heart holds near these truths
To enriches all the treasures
Of your infinite depth
Revealed to your soul
Yet not to your eyes
For you don’t see happiness
But you know when it here
Only through life sap in your eyes
The tears of sorrow and joy
Can you meet your true being
And walk together always
Hand in hand with emotion
Through the good and the bad

Live and love in peace

From the very first moment our children point and ask “what’s that” we transform from average people to all knowing parents. They look to us for answers from that day forward and with the right perspective we can become the fountain they’re thirst of knowledge is quenched from forever more. It’s all about offering perspective…….

What Day Was That

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what day

 

 

Running across the yard
Swinging on a cloud
Skinned my knees
While laughing out loud
Bee stings and baby weeps
See saws and bedside creeps
Lost inside an empty crowd
Underneath a storm filled cloud
Minutes to spare and hours to burn
Battles to be fought
Lessons to be learned
Never a concern
Except Mom and Dad
What we needed they had
Before time walked me home
Made me go it alone
And childhood left me flat
Memories
What day was that

 
She had long silken curls
I was noticing girls
We were all having fun
In search of “the one”
Holding hands on the beach
Heart screaming uptempo
Thumping beats of promise
Seeds of passion were growing

With loves flame a aglow
A life everlasting
Two teen hearts broadcasting
True love forever
Initials in a tree
Etched for ever in eternity
Before time turned and spat
Spat in my face
What day was that

 

 

Couldn’t wait to grow up
Find the answers I need
But as age rolls downhill
It gathers much speed
Time offers not wisdom
But makes us it’s victim
Fueled on fruitless pride
On a mindless blind ride
Like a peacock I preened
Success was my insanity
The peak of my own vanity
Until time got angry
Focused its wrath on me
Much too conspicuously
Cutting furrows in my brow
Who needs a body anyhow
Crippling my emotions
Erasing my devotions
All the lines in my eyes
Stained in tears that I cried
Now even the mirror won’t lie
In a flash old age arrived
Leaving just memories inside
With a sarcastic smile
Time tipped it’s hat……..
What day was that

I’m Free (Death Stands Naked)

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naked death

 

They find rest as they lie in death…. Isaiah 57:2

 
Death stood naked
In the evening wind
Laughing in denial
Of nefarious intent
Whispering promises
Cloaked in satin sheets
My face in amusement
As I smile broadly
Reminiscing a sexual tango
Twixt the bee and the flower
Tempting flora aroma’s
Bright colored enticements
Genitalia between petals
Singing sensual to the insects
The salacious dance
Of life everlasting
Carnal enlightenment
As Death disappeared
An angel stood naked
In the glow of sunrise
Laughing happily in denial
Of her voluptuous intent
Alley cats shrieking
In agonizing pleasure
While inside my head
My previous partners
Moaning in unison
Sensual memories
Distracting my attentions
While Death creeps low
In the dark underbrush

 

 
Now Death stands naked
Dark in my doorway
Anticipating the collection
Of all my yesterdays
As well as the denial
Of my tomorrows
Screaming all around
In deafening silence
Ever so explosive
Yet never reaching mine ear
In surreptitious slight of hand
Death hath wrapped his arms
Tightly around my heart
Leading me to the sacrificial stone
Like the son of Abraham
I the wandering lamb
Of the flock of the lost
Knelt sadly alone
Until the angel returned
Humming soft rhythms
Unearthing the secrets
Of my innocence lost
She smiles so warmly
An act of comforting
Cradled me to her breast
Soft pillows of compassion
A distant echoing beat soothes me
Her song of days gone by
Come inside my love
All evil will cease to exist
Take my hand
Let me guide you
To your freedom
And a light glowed from where no sun dare to shine
That’s when it became clear to me
I’m free
Live and Love in Peace

Perspective

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

 

I’ve known joy, elation, and glee
I’ve known grief, rage, and pain
I’ve cried in a thunderstorm
Sang and danced in the rain
They’re just reflections of my perceptions
Or maybe a collective of misconceptions

 
What is Pleasure but
Desires reaped
From joys sown
A song unbound
Waiting to be sung
With totality of heart
The harvest of jubilation
From seeds of serenity
Rising of new days
Dances of excitement
Unbreakable smiles
Basking freely in
The Absence of sorrow
The desertion of pain

 

What is Pain but
The unmasking of joy
Disrobing of contentment
Standing alone
Emotionally naked
Void of élan
A fallen tree cries
But no one hears
Save its homeless residents
A blind man wails
Unable to resolve
The mystery of sight
An abused child quits
Unable to resolve
The mystery of night
A foreboding tale
Of love not met
Drenched in regret

 
What is Regret but
Chastisement of self
Over performance pernicious
Castigation blurred in fog
The haze of poor choice
Perhaps of inebriation
Of mind or soul
Self flagellation
Unable to forgive
Your own heart
For betraying it’s secrets
To a well of guilt’s
Which quenches no thirst
A lesson learned
Not a burden to the wind
But a winged flight
To a better future
Time offers perspective
Accept it

Corridor of Death

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gates-of-hell

 

(Freestyle Post-Beat /Street Tempo Mix)
Bad memories like phantoms
Actors of my Divine Comedy
Circling the layers of Hell
Questioning my honesty
The corridor of the inferno
Hatred burns from every pore
The sound that I was fearing
My name whispered behind a door

Kick it……

Got a call from Satan but I kept him waitin’
Cuz I ain’t freighting for no demon hatin’
I’m going straight into a world where
My fate is anticipating my death
My last fucking breath the bottom of my depth
But it’s not your concern I’m in Dante’s inferno
A journey of no returnin’ and so much burnin’
I’m hurtin’

Facing down my demons always busy scheming
Without reason for the screaming and the streaming
About an agreement of redeeming my soul
That’s leaving without beaming to the lord
But I’m ignored because he’s bored
And until my faiths restored there’s no reward
But water boarding by the horned one
I’m being scorned on my way to Hell
Oh well

Slow it down now……
The waters of my River fill with blood
Bones styx and stones block my path
Deliver me to circles down the hall
The corridors of anger hate and wrath
Where I’m a dead man walking
Down Dante’s corridor of doom
Pays no attention to our good deeds
To him it’s just a room
Verily he grabs me by my hand
Motioning down the hall of gore
Showing me the path of destiny
My name now written on that door
Kick it one more time…….

Time to meet the great tormentor
At the epicenter the wraith dementer
Death the presenter of dissent or
Is this all just another fucking lie
Say come inside and learn to die
The truth you seek is one big lie
The god you praise is petrified
Been sacrificed on Mount Sinai
Come quantify your sacrifice
Inside
Showing me the path of destiny
The death that lay in front of me
My image in flames of effigy
Enemies scream in ecstasy
An ember is all that’s left of me
I’ve reached my life expectancy
Because I lack integrity
Failure is my legacy
Words will ring in eulogy
He tried so hard but couldn’t see

Abandon all hope all ye who enter
Too late be a repenter