Killer Date

killer

 

 
Pressure builds in my temples
Sweat dampens my forehead
Something’s wrong
The clock is bleeding
Seconds ooze from the wound
And that sound so loud
Distorted annoying ticks
Echo in my cerebellum
My mirrors are disabled
A shadow of myself
Incomplete and hungry
Driven by anger past
Seduced by revenge
I search out my prey
Make him pray, make him pray
Hiding behind the oak tree
The dark shade of coincidence
Breathing so shallow
Trembling but quiet
Watching the trap I carved
Stealthily awaiting the fly
The park is my graveyard
A faint noise
Footsteps in the pathway
I wait without movement
The figure looms near
Its him! He’s the one!
Violator of innocent lambs
Taker of our purity
Strutting in vanity
On his green mile walk
He becomes me today
Blood on the milk train
Absorbed into my breasts
So I can sate the monster
And taste my revenge
Until the next feeding

I’m Free (Death Stands Naked)

naked death

 

They find rest as they lie in death…. Isaiah 57:2

 
Death stood naked
In the evening wind
Laughing in denial
Of nefarious intent
Whispering promises
Cloaked in satin sheets
My face in amusement
As I smile broadly
Reminiscing a sexual tango
Twixt the bee and the flower
Tempting flora aroma’s
Bright colored enticements
Genitalia between petals
Singing sensual to the insects
The salacious dance
Of life everlasting
Carnal enlightenment
As Death disappeared
An angel stood naked
In the glow of sunrise
Laughing happily in denial
Of her voluptuous intent
Alley cats shrieking
In agonizing pleasure
While inside my head
My previous partners
Moaning in unison
Sensual memories
Distracting my attentions
While Death creeps low
In the dark underbrush

 

 
Now Death stands naked
Dark in my doorway
Anticipating the collection
Of all my yesterdays
As well as the denial
Of my tomorrows
Screaming all around
In deafening silence
Ever so explosive
Yet never reaching mine ear
In surreptitious slight of hand
Death hath wrapped his arms
Tightly around my heart
Leading me to the sacrificial stone
Like the son of Abraham
I the wandering lamb
Of the flock of the lost
Knelt sadly alone
Until the angel returned
Humming soft rhythms
Unearthing the secrets
Of my innocence lost
She smiles so warmly
An act of comforting
Cradled me to her breast
Soft pillows of compassion
A distant echoing beat soothes me
Her song of days gone by
Come inside my love
All evil will cease to exist
Take my hand
Let me guide you
To your freedom
And a light glowed from where no sun dare to shine
That’s when it became clear to me
I’m free
Live and Love in Peace

Inner Psychopath

inner

 

 

They laugh at me

Snickering

I can feel their eyes

So much distain

Where does it come from

They don’t even realize

That in killing my spirit

They’re releasing

My inside hate

Ripping off my skin

Peeling away my face

Tearing down

My wall of esteem

Their words are burned

Under my skin

Scoffing at my reality

Karmic retribution

Is coming

From my inner psychopath

 

 

 

Is that what they want

To set free the evil

Churning inside me

Anger boiling over

Scorching their world

Then bring it on

I want the feel

Of warm blood

I want to taste

Life exiting

Breath stopping

Pain flow

I want them to know

Why they suffer

Why they cry

I will wipe that smug chuckle

Into the dirt

Let them burn

Squirm

Its their turn

Feel the wrath of

The inner psychopath

 

 

 

 

I could set him free

Let his havoc fly

Destroy the destroyer

Relieve paranoia

Instead I return

To my tedious world

Meek existence

Just another grain

Of sand on the beach

Another drop

Of brimstone rain

Insignificant

Venn diagram of a life

Never intersecting

Sentenced to life

With my inner psychopath

 

Who I Appear To Be

appear

 

 

Everybody has their chameleon, a way to hide their inner self. When we’re with people we slip on our alternative skin an appear to be someone else, the one we call our true selves. We hide the inner self because it frightens us. We worry if the inner us is revealed no one will like us, not even ourselves. We live in what we appear to be but slip in and out of the inner us when no one is around. Sometimes we spend so much time going back and forth we forget which one we are, we slip a bit to deeply into our dark selves. Many times I wonder who am I today……

 

My Dad never even tried to understand me

His self importance was the rule of the day

Whenever important questions burnt within me

He shrugged his shoulders and pushed me away

Reading words he found inside a fortune cookie

Was the only advice he ever donated my mind

Dismissed dismayed dejected and disappointed

All my dad ever really left me was behind

 

 

My brain is bruised my mind abused my thoughts unused

I’m alone…..confused

Can’t sleep

I’m on the edge

Falling over

Slipping down deep

Gotta move

My insides are spinning

The walls are closing in

And I’m stuck in it

The pressure is so painful

Scream!

Coming undone

I’m broken

Not joking

Insanity on thin ice

Seams are bursting

Jesus Christ

I want to die

Which me am I?

 

Here’s the deal

Death has it’s appeal, no more pain or illusion

No confusion

Maybe I’ll find dignity in self termination

No more repetitive aimless wandering despondantly

I know the end will bring me my total isolation

Desolation

But I’ll be free

No horns no sirens not one fucking phone call

I’ll finally be able to get a good night sleep

Or maybe I should make a deal with my big bad wolf

Who keeps hiding in my psyche so deep

Now I see

I can’t make a pact with the devil because the devil is me

 

If he dies so will I

Lose my flesh lose my bone

Why?

The devil just never shuts up

Forcing his thoughts in my head

Tells me

I’m the monster from under my bed

He mocks me and taunts me

The dark passenger haunts me

Makes me doubt and deplore me

He will never leave me alone

He reminds me I’m nothing

My soul he keeps crushing

Let go with a whimpering moan

Float away

Or stay?

Who’s making my mind up anyway?

I know I’m the one who must choose

And you may think you know me but…

I’m really not who I appear to be

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wasn’t I?

wasnt

An ominous and frightful howling shattered the fragile windows of my tranquil dormancy forcing my eyes open to experience a reality. Without looking I knew instinctively that what had recently appeared real and lucid was abstract and artificial. I took a deep reassuring breath to take stock of my situation. Thank God I was just dreaming!!!
Wasn’t I?

Begging for mercy my face full of fright
Over and over night after night
My plight
A most unsettling sight
Someone else destroyed her soul
I’m not the one in control
Some other asshole
Asshole on patrol patrolling my brain
Inside of my brain putting ice in my vein
Hidden in the lining between crazy and sane
All of my rationality circling the drain
What have I done to her
Made the blood run from her
Life spilled from her
Fear chilled in her
Fear filled her
I killed her
I know she’s dead because I heard her stop screaming
But I was just dreaming
Wasn’t I?

Pools of crimson filling the space
Entrails and blood all over the place
But I’m still sleeping is that so off base?
Looks like someone tore off her face
It’s a disgrace
A putrid ogre from the depths of hell
Inhaling the fumes of a flesh decay smell
Her vile death vomit present as well
The pain in my head is beginning to swell
Stop that screaming it’s so demeaning
We need intervening
But I was just dreaming
Wasn’t I?

She vomited silent during the tussle
I twisted the knife through her hot leg muscle
Her thigh bleeding out I kicked her she fell
Never knew how good someone’s blood could smell
This is the true glory of living in Hell
The steel blade shone gleaming
Her fresh corpse was steaming
But I was just dreaming
Wasn’t I?

Rattled gasping lungs begging to die
Beg for my mercy for the end of the ride
But I filled her throat with linen and lace
Laughed at her God and spit in his face
Set it all on fire I won’t leave a trace
Her life and my deed have all been erased
No more planning or scheming
The light of her Jesus still beaming
I guess I should ask for his hallowed redeeming
But I was just dreaming
Wasn’t I?

Tomb Of Paradise

tomb

Acrid stench of homicide wafting
Through the blurred hazy smoke of death
Bitter taste of someone’s final conflict
Roaring out putrid fetor like Satan’s breath
Another blood dripping body coughed up
From under the earth in some ritual sacrifice
Filling up all of the grisly vacancies of death
In the tomb of my own paradise

Tentacles of chaos are choking my brain
Stinging its poison into furrows of my cortex
Losing control my once alive body collapses
Thoughts spinning wild in a dizzying vortex
In the end I really hope death is its own reward
But I’m afraid its more a roll of the dice
One of the lucky ones escaping the pain
In the tomb of my own paradise

The final journey in reaching up to the sky
To find the eloquence in dying in vain
If I fail to perish on the day of my reckon
Plenty of time left to keep trying again
Join in the masses of Grateful and dead
If someone could help me cover the price
I’ll do what it takes to walk through the entrance
To the tomb of my own paradise

Graveyard Of Confusion

grave

The acrid smell of a forced suicide
Mixed with bitter taste of disillusion
Rising in sheets from under my feet
Death in the graveyard of confusion

Laying inside this musky black box
Breathing once tasteless odors of life
Exhaling death with each and every breath
Bearing scars from the Grim Reapers knife

Primordial vomit from deep under the earth
Coughed up in stench from the breath of Satan
Wrapping a putrid and vile solution of bile
In confusion I stared at them vacant

Are they all here to give me a ride
Passenger of death or just an illusion
Confusion reigns king in the suicide ring
Around the graveyard of confusion

The Thrill In The kill II (Hunters perspective)

kill

Crouched in the shadows a spider in waiting
Fingers anxiously caressing my stiletto
A shape in the distance perhaps a young man
Can’t wait to slice his deep voice to falsetto

He senses my presence he’s looking about
I strategically gain spatial enclosure
He quickens his pace attempting escape
But I’m prepared to invest his foreclosure

Time to pounce and feel élan leave his torso
The zeal of his frenzy warming my soul
Right hand gripping tightly on my death stick
Left under his chin to gain surgical control

The first cuts the deepest it true what they say
But the second bears a dynamic elation
Warm blood is trickling across my knuckles
My heart pounding a glorious summation

Crimson life syrup spurting out from his neck
Filling my hands with thick sanguine mud
He gurgles out once a lame bloody protest
His death a canvas I paint with his blood

Evisceration elates me to orgasmic climax
I writhe in gratuitous anticipation
With lethal precision I slice flesh and bone
Sexual release with each deep laceration

Spin him around so I can view the departure
To watch life drain from his sunken blue face
Wildly my soul trembles a tune of ecstasy
Its almost done and my heart starts to race

Its over he’s dead paranoia setting in
Look around make sure no one can see
Gotta run away now before I get caught
Back to my bed where I bask in the glee

But when I arrive sick replaces my bliss
Vomit extinguishes the once lustful flame
Depression and revulsion will fill up my days
Until the next slaying can wash out my shame

The Thrill In The Kill I (Preys Perspective)

Night air quickly darkened so eerily uneasy
As I tread cautious along a tree lined path
Footsteps in the shadow pursue relentless
Tap out a caution of oncoming wrath

Heart pounds a warning-imminent danger
Perhaps a case of wrong place wrong time
In paranoia the pace of my stride it quickens
My destiny to fall victim of ominous crime

The shadow insists upon closing up the gap
Why am I about to face this stalkers fate?
I shouldn’t have traveled alone down here
What’s done is done and now its too late

My hunter is gaining quick his precious ground
Seconds seem to be ticking in heart pounding silence
I feel the motion from a pair of subversive arms
The killer’s poised to unleash bloody violence

Steel blade is cold against my quivering skin
Rips my flesh changing the ice to a burn
Warm streams of life trickle out from my neck
Sanguine copper taste makes my stomach churn

I can sense ultimate glee as he shreds through a vein
Can almost feel the maniacal menacing smile
His heart is a racing even faster than mine
I try to shout with a voice stuck in denial

Warm streams of plasma pours down my neck
Sap of my essence draining from beats of my heart
Pumping to the rhythms of a dying collective
But its the sheer panic that rips me apart

His breath hot and laborious sprays over my face
I’ve been posed for psychotic viewing pleasure
With wild eye yet empty meaningless smile
Watching my life run out is his reward of treasure

As I fall to the ground no muscles come to my aid
My abandoned body tumbles into submission
I feel ounces of vitality pooling out of my being
As I prepare myself for the ultimate transition

My mind is as blurry as the streaking in my eyes
Waiting for my life to get flashed across the sky
But I lay here stagnant as hope bleeds through
There’s nothing to do but accept I will die

A strange object is lodge in my throat
I cough to expunge a ball of bloody debris
Darkness sets in around the eyes of my world
Karmic retribution is all that’s left for me

I feel nothing now the pain and panic gone
Cant even hear the murderous creep
I have no time to think about life
Its…time…for…me…to…..sleep

Enter The Void

eyes

His search saw him travel across the great sea
Sharp oars in his eyes as he rowed out to me
Where shall we venture I wondered inside
He said come on board so I went for the ride

So stealth was the smirk I mistook it a grin
In voice oh so pleasant he begged come on in
I’ve waited many an hour to take you abroad
Tears filled my eye as my memories roared

My ghosts were battered and bruised barely no breath
I objected to marching head first into death
But we entered the hallways where life dare not tread
I knew in that instant the boatman was dead

My destination arrived it was time to depart
The redeemer in front of me pulling a cart
The cart it was full of clay, flesh, and bone
Into the dark hallway I entered alone