AND SO IT GOES

 

I littered the streets of my youth
With shards and fragments of ill
Deeds and wrongs left unpunished
Save for the breaking of my spirit
My saline teardrops iced to crystal
By the coldness of too many hearts
Dissolved into wisps of pining mist
From the flames of internal anger
While reflecting on the descendants
Of the ancient father of my yesterdays
Whose lasting advice I always follow
Remember always from which you came
So I cast one last meaningful gaze
One long sigh backwards in my horizon
Trying in vain to enjoy the final sunset
I now being the son of mine very own future
Plagued by memories like a sleepless mother
Tossing and turning as if on a hapless carousel
Yet in her heart should I find peace and freedom
And in my forbidden lovers arms I found bliss
Recalling murmurs from beneath satin sheets
In the twilight of the grand imploding passions
I can only hope my eagerness to please
Filled their souls as much as they filled mine
And always will I owe them the unpaid debt
Of presenting me with dreams to be dreamt
Nightmares as well as the specter s of joy
Easing my midnight delusions of utopia
Allowing my sun to always rise in smiles
Still as each day begins anew in my years of dusk
In each morn I taste the squalid irony this one thing
The time of my departing without my return
Shall be a time of gathering of memories for others
And so it goes……

 

Live and Love in Peace

The Pond Of Reflection

 

 

Once delivered to the pond of tranquility
I longed to drink in it’s glorious stillness
Yet my restless soul remained not at rest
My spirit wandered aimless as a stranger
Unguarded and alone I traveled the wind
I the intruder feeling free to commit wrongs
I wandered free
I witnessed the leaves grow bold with color
Only to wither and fall free from their home
Even with the years of profound knowledge
The mighty tree was unable to hold it’s leaves
By the pond the tree outlived generations o life
Upon reflection leaves in the lake was my own
I became enlightened
Moving through the shadows of evening’s image
I had become the bearer of guilt’s incurred
At the same time a victim of my cycle vicious
Condemned to bear weights of self made burden
Where I sacrificed myself to the blameless redeemer
Who stood in judgment of the ill and illicit
Administering ultimate justice only in the afterlife
Which was my journey

Time chiseled away at my stony regrets
Wisdom finally blossomed it’s bright petals
I understood the separation of the just and unjust
The strangers and friends, the good and evil all
Destined to stumble upon their own ill stones
Whilst clearing the paths of their own choosing
In which all travel naked in the quest of eternity
To reflect the pond

 

Lamentations At An Ancient Banquet

 

For so many years
I’ve been a bench
For weary souls to rest
Share the worn out dreams
Reveal their tired secrets
Toss the burdens away
Lay them on my shoulders
Bathe in the comfort of my words
But the weight has buckled
I have grown tired
I look into my windows
See an old man waiting
Just waiting…..
It’s my turn to sit
I’m tired of begging for scraps at my own table
I want to dine at the ancient banquet

Lamentations At An Ancient Banquet
It’s my time to be sitting
On a bench of salvation
Instead I waste my time
With self reflective meditation
And self inflicted medication
I know I’m merely waiting
Just can’t work out why
Looking for the answers
As if written in the sky
Shaking off the midnight fog
Looking deep inside my eyes
Granite tears fall in the cracks
Things I don’t wanna recognize
Tombstones in my side view mirror
Angels floating in my front view path
A Pale Horse saddled lays in wait
The devil smiles and seethes in wrath
I’m not ready yet
But its getting late
So I wait
Further up the road
So I can unload

Tired of all the irritating hating so impulsive and degrading. Little minds overcompensating smart minds fall deflating. No creating or thoughtful debating as for me I’m only waiting. Waiting and anticipating its so god damn mind frustrating.
Before my eyes my life is flashing from all the bashing time has fashioned while inside my head is thrashing from rehashing all the baggage I kept stashing and the shit I left behind.
Now I’m blind
The running kind
The final line
Seems that’s to be my fate
Sand passes through the hourglass
I just sit and wait
I wait because I know
The secrets from beyond
Are preparing to reveal themselves
Preparing to respond
But the mysteries of the living
The quandaries never solved
Plus everything I’ve left undone
Will never be resolved
Ends will never tie
Nothing more to do
So all I do is wait
Wait until I die

Sad Smiles And Happy Tears

comedy

 

As the final day comes closer
The memories run further away
Held captive by loneliness
Her ambitions chained to her bed
Shackled to unspoken solitude
Where desperation reigns
She stands blindly confused
As friends just smile at her
Its not that they’re happy
They wear reflective smiles
Tender grins born of sadness
Sad smiles

He doesn’t understand his world
Nothing is ever complete
Thoughts move like clouds
Inside this head he knows
Yet always she’s there for him
Bruised from his confusion
One person who never gave up
Overcome with unexpected gratitude
The autistic boy hugs his Mom
A hug he never gave before
And it made her cry
Tears forged from joy
Happy tears

Sad smiles and happy tears
Confusion falls across the years
Telling lies and facing fears
Smiling sad with happy tears
Puppy love in disguise
She had me with her soulful eyes
Right from the start
I should probably be mad
Her smile looked so sad
But to this day I hold it in my heart
Haven’t seen her in many years
Both our eyes filled by happy tears
Because love made it all worthwhile
Sometimes it’s good to cry
Sometimes its sad to smile
Spending most of my time thinking back on how things used to be and it makes me smile. A sad smile, not because I was unhappy but because these days are gone forever yet remain in my heart.

Spending most of my time thinking about how my baby girl has grown up into a woman, and how those days of believing her Daddy is the greatest man in the world are over. Then she kissed me and said I love you daddy. I cried happy tears

The Portal To My Heart

portal

 

No more the portal to my heart
Shall be slammed shut in silence
Barren of loves treasures
My empty garden grows weary
The writing scribbled on the stars
Telling me it’s time to move on
To leave the city of my birth
Go without sadness or sorrow
For my days here were too long
With the pains of a hard existence
My evenings seeming yet far longer
Exiled to the pains of loneliness
Ah the bittersweet reelections
Regretful moments of sin and bliss
An insensitive trail of broken hearts
I caused the spirit of many lovers
To lay fragmented on my doorstep
Now destiny beckons once more
So alone and now free of my nest
I would fly off to find a setting sun
A new horizon emblazoned with hope
Yet first I pause to peer over the sea
In which my intensity swam so easy
Where the rebellious waves of the harbor
Disregard the covenant of the land
Yearning for days when I ruled
Riding the ebbs and flows of virility
Hoisting up sails of reckless eagerness
Set afloat on wings of sweet rapture
To endure all the ocean possessed
And all that it left behind
Sunken ships from angry storms
Loves treasure awash on sunlit shores
Broken shells tossed to the shore
Reflecting I took one last breath
One more toke of briny nostalgic sea air
Which had once seasoned my desires
A taste I shall remember forever
Whatever adventure travel brings
No river or stream I shall traverse
Will ever comprehend the freedom
That was abandoned those coral shoals
Aye that all lay in the past now
Histories to be written as ballads
It is the season to shed anchors familiar
Perhaps a new moonlight will impart
An unconditional offer of enduring affections
My moment of self absolution arrives
As the portal to my heart is flung open
To receive the treasure of love once more
This day I shall remain vigilant and true
For a portal once revealed to be open
May be entered from either direction

Too Much Truth

truth

 

The truth can break the bonds which burden you
But too much enlightenment can shine a false beam
Illuminating the nighttime’s with unwanted realities
Casting the darkness of an eclipse upon daylight
Revealing the impurity of our own righteousness
Sculpting our rectitude and directing the moral compass
Seeing too much truth can reveal a lack of honor
Integrity is a marble rock chiseled by truths
The more you take away the more you see
Unless it’s carved into a likeness of the self
If we search the answer in the puddles of ego
Unaware that the reflection is aggrandizing
For all of us stand in the same sunlight
Yet we all cast a uniquely separate shadow
Our silhouettes traced upon the same moon
Yet each exclusive to the music of our own profile
We can stifle the drumsticks that beat our rhythm
We can loosen the strings of our cogent guitars
But we can never stop the songs of our truth
For our legitimacy will lay upon us as a harness
Directing us to places we never knew existed
Perhaps the graveyard where memories go to die
Perhaps the nursery where dreams are conceived
The search existential is far from a mere crisis
It’s a revelation to the edification of true life
Oft times much too hard to carry by oneself
If I could I would hold midnight in my hands
And offer it to you as love to guide you to victory
Because one of my truths is I’m tired of losing
Not of harmonies mislaid but of people gone
I struggle because each day I see all of them
I see their eyes
The hope, the anger, despair and joy
I see them close their eyes to dream
All of them lost as a rainbow at dawn
And that’s too much truth for me to bear

 

 

 

 

Live and Love in Peace

Regrets, I’ve Had A Few

regret

 

 

What do I regret?
In somber reflection
I’ve destroyed many hearts
Without ever wondering why
Perhaps it was an inept attempt
At protecting my own
Last night the first I ever broke
Came to visit me at my home
An echo of loves labour lost
Flowing passions turned to frost
I served us up a cup of tea
Brewed from past sorrow
And a lost memory
A reminder of who we used to be
Back in the days when believed
We could be free
Dancing and laughing in the sand
Searching out that distant land
There was a time we had it all
Why did the walls of the sandcastle fall
She said “lover what went wrong?”
“All we have left is this sad sad song
What happened to our youthful glow
Where did it go?”
I don’t even remember what we fought about
But I know our clock ran out
Before we ever arrived
Meandered down so many paths
No answer found but one question asked
What can we do to make love last
Before you know it the clock tics away
And time goes by so fast
Suddenly your future is in the past
Jumbled days fall through the cracks
Different truths and different facts
Tiny moments had profound effect
Some small decisions went unchecked
Small pieces of life
With big consequence
Love in fraudulence
Life altering experiences
Seemingly forgotten
The rancid and rotten
Then suddenly remembered
Yet the query still at play
Never learned how to make love stay
Witnessed four births
Sat through four deaths
Religious tests
That change you
Make you forget
I broke many hearts
That’s what I regret

 

Live and Love in Peace

Pieces Of The Past

yesterday

 

Tiny brushstrokes of a portrait

Pieces on a canvass

Time bandits

Stealing moments

Charting memories

A life on loan

In the end alone

Just pieces of the past

 

Yesterdays pieces of ourselves

Parts of our puzzles

Triumphs and troubles

Maps of our experiences

No glory just our story

What are were

Flesh blood and bone

In the end alone

Just pieces of the past

 

Lyrics of our songs

Sung with glee

Enthused

Tempered with blues

Notes on a scale

With a soft groan

A whispering moan

In the end alone

Just pieces of the past

 

We are the words of our poem

Gloriously described

On our hearts inscribed

Words of love

Hopes and dreams

Written by us

And those we have known

In the end alone

Just pieces of the past

 

A patch quilt of memories

Past and present

The good and bad

Bought and spent

Inerasable lines

Deep and furrowed

Reaped and sown

In the end alone

Just pieces of the past

Never meant to last

Pieces of a storm

Here and gone

Passing through

Today

Never meant to stay

How fast we’ve grown

To be alone

Alone at last

Just pieces of the past

Visit but don’t stay in yesterday for the destination is not of our choosing. Our journeys however belong solely to us….PEACE