Fractured Tales of The Bible

Last chapter Adam and Eve were caught in an embarrassing love embrace and thrown out of the garden by each of their tribal leaders The farming “Aggies” and the herding “Shepherds”

The Story of Everything
The fates of Cain and Able and Global Warfare
Now quite some time had passed, and together Adam and Eve grew some fruits and vegetables, and raised some livestock making the best of both their worlds. The leaders of the tribes were not without compassion and harbored modicums of guilt. They had grown concerned for their outcasts welfare and sent their favorite spies out to find them and make sure they were doing okay. As luck would have it, well you remember lucks good fortune in stories, they both set out from each of their camps the same day. Abel from South Eden brought with him an offering of lamb, and Cain from North Eden brought with him an offering of tomatoes. Though they left simultaneously Cain arrived earlier his being a bit closer to Adam and Eves new little love nest. Cain placed his tomato offering outside the love hut and ventured inside. With Adam out tending his garden Cain came across Eve sleeping by herself. Cain stared for a long while much as Adam had so long ago. He began to feel the same funny feelings Adam exhibited. He remembered fondly the sensuous entanglements they had performed and it made him horny. Cain could’nt help himself, his ever hardening pole took control of his brain and forced him to act upon the feelings immediately. He snuck up on Eve and pulled open her loose fitted blouse, revealing her pale skinned breasts. This startled the sleeping Eve but her sound sleep left her just a tad groggy and unsure of what was going on. But Cain was in a sexual trance grabbing lustfully at her exotic looking body. He began clutching and clawing at her breasts and ripped the remaining clothes from her body leaving her naked before him. The sudden attack brought Eve immediately awake and to her senses and she loudly protested calling out for Adam. But Adam was far from earshot out in his field and completely unaware of Eves dilemma. Cain worked himself into a frenzy of sexual excitement as he gazed upon her naked body with the colorless hair covering her woman regions. The louder and more forceful her protest the more excited Cain became, throwing Eves naked body to the ground and forcing her legs apart. Again Eve screamed for Adam, but Adam was unable to hear a sound. But Eves screams did not go unheard completely, for just around the corner was Abel, the shepherd spy that had a longtime crush Eve. Instantly he recognized her voice and assumed that the long time object of his desire, of his obsession, was being beaten by the lowlife shit spreading farmer she was banished with. He let go of his lamb, trounced over Cain’s tomatoes, and grabbed Cain pulling him off of Eve and flinging him across the hut. Abel took one look at Eve he was overcome with his pent up desires and held her tightly as if she were his maiden. Eve was confused beyond belief, having gone from being raped by an Aggie to be caressed inappropriately from an old wannabe flame of a shepherd. Cain believing he had thrown Adam across the hut and incapacitated the dirty wife beater forgot why he was there and began attempting to kiss his lost love. But Cain was anything but incapacitated, he was enraged that some lamb shit stinking herder was trying to move in on his magic prize. The only thing he could think about was getting back to that most interesting looking colorless love button. Whatever obstacle that was in his way would need to be eliminated. Abel looked around and saw a carving knife, picked it up, and plunged it deep into Abel’s back. Abel let out a cough, then a moan, and dropped to the ground. Cain stared now at the lifeless body on the ground. He barely even noticed that Eve had run out of the hut crying hysterically. Cain took a minute to catch his breath and analyze his newfound situation. “Fuck” he mumbled, “I killed the fucker. Serpents shit I’m in big trouble now.” He evaluated his options and made an executive decision. He knew he could blame everything on Adam, but he had to hightail it out of there pretty quickly if it was to work. He took the knife but left the lamb and the trampled tomatoes and headed back towards Eden as he formulated his story. He wondered what might happen to him as punishment for killing another man. No one had ever done that before, so this is groundbreaking territory here. Cain rolled his eyes and said, “Fuckin’ A!”
On the way back to the Garden of Eden, unfortunately for Cain, he was confronted first by a group of Shepherds. Terrified he tried to walk past without a word. The Shepherds would have none of it and asked him where he was going. “I am on my way back to my village to report to my leader. It would be in your best interest to allow me passage.” Cain had some newfound bravado having been the first person to ever commit murder. But the Shepherds knew that he had come from the same wooded area in which their own compadre Abel had ventured just a few short hours ago. They thought something seemed odd and opted to allow their leader to figure out what to do so the largest and oldest of the Shepherds spoke up. “You will come with us stinky farmer man. I believe our leader may have some questions for you.”
Well they brought Cain to the leader and he questioned him as to where he had been. Cain may have been a murderer, but he was no liar yet. He told the leader he had been to visit the banished bi-racial couple of Adam and Eve, and was now returning to his fields to work the soil. The Leader, knowing full well he must have seen the missing member of their tribe asked, “And what of Abel, have you seen Abel the Shepherd?” Startled but still not ready to become a liar Cain chose to divert the attentions of the many eyes glaring upon him. “Am I your brothers keeper?” Cain meant to imply he had no idea and further it was not his responsibility. The Leader however did not take the bait. “I see on your feet you have a smudge of sheep shit. Where might a farmer be that he should lay his foot upon fresh lambs dung?” At this point Cain knew he was busted and believed this to finally be the time to become a liar. He raised his hands to stress his denial that he had not seen any Shepherds, not Abel and not even the one they called Eve. The mistake Cain made was raising his hands and allowing them to see the blood stains. Caught red-handed with a Mark just as plain as day, The Leader accused Cain of killing them all. “Just look at your hands,” exclaimed the Leader, “All stained red from the blood of a human perhaps even Adam or Eve.” Cain made a lame attempt at denial claiming the red to be from some tomatoes he had picked, then switching his story and claiming Abel attempted to take his life. Despite his best efforts at becoming an accomplished liar, Cain Was tied up and brought to his own village along with The Shepherd leader. They went before the Aggie Leader and an entourage of council members. Here they held what would be the first ever courtroom drama, with both sides making a case. In the end, the Aggies and The Shepherds could not come to an agreement, and instead began to war with each other. That war goes on even today, in the 20th century.

Cosmo an the Garden Earth

The Meade Plus was doing its job well. Cosmo was feeling as happy as if he had had some mushroom juice. He felt the happy but as well as the happy he was also feeling unusually strong, especially in his god loin region. He had a sensation that his all his muscles had gotten bigger, but especially that pleasure muscle that hangs between his legs. Time now to experience the attributes of some of the new god toys
New god toys was code for a breed of lady gods that are specifically bred to help satisfy a gods sexual senses. For the Goddesses they had goddess toys as no god could possibly satisfy a Lady Lords near insatiable sexual appetite. Like everything else both gods and goddesses have a strong and fervent desire for sex and a seemingly unending performance need. Unlike non-gods, they can not only last as much as 8 hours straight, they can enjoy as many as 12 partners in a row, or even at the same time. Their sexual prowess goes beyond anything any intelligent species could ever even imagine let alone perform. So new “god toys” were indeed a special treat and this new batch would be no exception.
No sooner did Cosmo and Simon get into the playroom when already the zippers of their trousers came down. As one would expect the extremely large Simon was well endowed in every area of his body. A slightly too audible gasp was heard by the first god toy that touched his play tool. Cosmo couldn’t help but look over and the appendage was so huge even he blushed. “Oh my Creator man that thing is too big. You will break the new toys as surely as I stand here in envy.” But Simon was paying him no mind and had already taken 3 toys off to ravage and enjoy. He carried on over each shoulder while the third clung tightly to his oak tree thigh holding on to the joy handle with both hands. Simon disappeared into a private room and it instantaneously filled with screams, squeals, and a chorus of “Holy Shit that thing is enormous”. Cosmo had only one single god toy caressing his much less imposing yet still impressive love muscle. The god toy looked up and was struck by Cosmo’s good looks. He has an angular well defined face with a nose that seemed to be chiseled in place perfectly. His long dark black hair rolled over his broad shoulders in layered waves. Unlike Simon there was not a single ounce of excess body fat on his well defined muscular body. His chest puffed out proudly on its own and had just enough hair on it .Hi arms were like argon filled balloons. He ha a smile was every bit as engaging as Simons without a trace of the gregariousness. The god toy spoke to him. “My but you are handsome, you are by far the best looking and easiest to look at god I have ever seen. I can tell I am truly going to enjoy this assignment.” Cosmo flashed her a smile so alluring she made a soft purring sound. The second he looked at her fuscia pink eyes he knew he wanted her to be exclusive. She had tight blue and green corkscrew curls that formed bangs above the sexy eyes and her head was framed perfectly with platinum hair in the shape of a crescent. The tips that disappeared under her chin were ebony dark black. A sight to behold. Of course her body was bred so close to perfection it didn’t seem fair to other females. Long muscular legs with perfectly proportioned hips. He pulled her hand away from his crotch and scooped her up in his strong arms. “Then lets get a private room and begin enjoying each other.” The god toy smiled as it was the first and quite possibly last time a god would treat her so tenderly. “Have you a name young maiden? Mine is Cosmo, but I prefer to be called Coz.” God toy looked up and said “They named me Ginger, but my real Name is Mary Anne.” Cosmo smiled another winner, “Ah that’s great, I think I like Mary Anne more than Ginger. I shall refer to you as Mary Anne and request you for the entire night.” Mary Anne blushed at the thought of being an exclusive. “Are you sure you don’t want a few others Mr. Coz?” Cosmo stared at her with eyes so filled with lust and passion it would have melted the butter clear through the refrigerator door. “First of all Mary Anne, its not Mr., but just Coz, and second, I prefer to concentrate all my enjoyment on the most beautiful maid and you are by far the hottest babe in The District. And its not the Meade Plus talking.” While he was talking Cosmo, I mean Coz began to unbutton her blouse. He reached inside and cupped her smooth and delicate lady lumps paying extra attention to the nipple. He inched his lips towards her at a teasingly slow rate and her eyes burned with desire. When he clamped his warm lips over her soft full lips their tongues exploded in a furious search. Wrapped around each other the tongues danced and twisted to a passion rhythm. She arched her hips and Cosmo pressed his groin into hers. He could feel her loin shudder beneath her skirt and was well aware of how his touch had rendered her helpless. A shit storm of physical pleasure was about to explode between her legs and Mary Anne was quite willing to set the charge. Her hips swayed rhythmically anticipating the take off of Cosmo’s missile. T minus ten, nine, eight, and within seconds the rockets red glare disappeared deep inside of Mary Anne. Her lips adorned in bright red gloss parted slightly and a sensual hum snuck out and hung in the air like giant cloud. Her large dark eyes now focused with intent directed at satisfying Coz for the next 9 hours without stop.
During the nine hours of bliss no less than eight god toys had gone in and out, pun intended, of Simons room and each lasted no more than two hours before being replaced. The squeals were non stop and Simon cold be heard roaring with delight on several occasions. By contrast, Coz had only one toy, just the very lovely Mary Anne the entire time, but the squeals and roars were every bit as ferocious and ten times as meaningful. The noticeable difference was that Coz’s roars and Mary Anne’s screams had a tenderness and order to them. When Cosmo had finally exhausted his final lust thrust everything was filled. Coz was filled with pleasure, the room was filled of the smells of nine straight hours of love making, and Mary was filled with a massive amount of god seamen. So much had Cosmo come inside Mary Anne that every time she sneezed a handful of microscopic god sperm snuck out into the night for a moonlight walk. Conceiving child is somewhat of an occupational hazard for god toys. It isn’t common but it does happen, and like most gods Cosmo refused to use a hefty bag. The thought of pregnancy crossed his mind but by the time it got to the other side it was forgotten. Pregnancy wasn’t able to cross Mary Anne’s mind, at least not for the moment. The nine hours was normal for Cosmo but it had taken quite a toll on Mary Anne. Physically exhausted, her curly platinum blond hair was tussled and matted and sat like an eagles nest above her head. The tight blue and green curls all but gave up curling and lay as limp as Mary Anne herself. She stared up at the ceiling as if still stunned by an amazing dream. The smile on her face would make Simons best smile hang its head in defeat. Her smile was immobile, sitting on her facer on its own accord because Mary lacked any energy. Even as Cosmo got up to leave and thanked her the happy glossed over orbs remained fixed on the ceiling. Unable to move, the smile unwilling to leave, she laid there in bed as Coz kissed her gently on the forehead and told her he would never forget her. It’ possible she nodded or shuddered a thank you, but if she did it was imperceptible to the naked eye. Or the naked anything else for that matter. Cosmo wrapped on Simons door and yelled out “Good bye old friend, until next time.” Perhaps it went unheard, or perhaps Simon was in a position that prohibited response, but the squeals continued albeit with less than half the enthusiasm shown earlier. It was time to get some sleep and pick up his intelligence seeds the next morn. There was much to be done. As Cosmo left the room he heard a barely perceptible moan that sounded like “mmmmm so fucking good, so fucking good, thank you Cosmo, thank god. mmmm” There was something else in the air, something Cosmo could not recognize. It almost felt as though someone else was in the room.

Cosmo, Lifescaper of the planet Earth

Quick update… The God Cosmo got pissed off and threw a meteor at The Garden Earth because his dinosaurs were fornicating openly and killing everything in sight. The pending explosion destroyed his garden and now he has to go in front of the Board Of Co-operative Gods and Godesses and beg them to allow him another chance at growing life on his planet. This is what went down…..

Denial is not yet just a river in Egypt. A deep sadness overtook the creator of the dinosaur. Still smoldering and becoming increasingly covered in dust Cosmo reflected on his once thriving lizard kingdom. Had they not been so enormous he mused, perhaps things would have been different. He wanted to have a way to remember the jumbo Jurassic relics . After some time many of the hearty vegetation had once again begun to sprout, rising up from the ashes. It seemed as though everything reminded him of his creatures. “I shall name this period of existence the cretaceous period in honor of my creatures. In order that no one, especially me, ever forget their magnifigance I shall create a living memorial. With that Cosmo placed very colorful vegetation he called flowers everywhere. At first the flowers were impractical, the only benefit being the ambiance and je ne sais quoi of their beauty and fresh interesting aroma’s. The wonderful aroma’s to cover the stench of scorched earth were amusing. He had no idea what an impact they would have later on. Flowers would become symbolic of love and beauty and figure into a strange talk between fathers and sons some day. People would fashion perfumes and air fresheners form their enticing smells and men would find them a beneficial tool in making up for mistakes. Flowers would proudly display their floral genitalia and bees would find them irresistible. Flowers would come to represent anticipation of sex for both honey bee and honey dear alike. Forever linked with love because that was why Cosmo created them, to remind him of his love for the once utopian behemoths. Beautiful flowers of white pink peach, purple, red, yellow, blue, violet, green and orange. Fantastically designed shapes of bells, funnels, trumpets, tubes saucers, bowls and labia. Brilliantly displayed all over the land masses along with new and tastier vegetation. It was a sight to behold. An arboretum of the grandest scale any had ever seen. This colorful garden alone would have stopped a charging raptor in its path to gawk at the beauty and inhale deeply the scent of passion on this marvel of an orb. An ambush makeover on the grandest of scales.
Now a new task was at hand. “I will take my new plan to the BOCGG and see if they will approve and allow me to once again have mobile life in the garden. It was time to face the rhythms melodies and harmonies expressed through instruments. Cosmo knew it was no use trying to pull the woolly mammoth over the boards eyes. Best thing to do was fess up and submit his urban renewal plan. However, when Cosmo went to request some new life seeds, the board of co-operative god and goddesses were waiting for him. They did not look pleased.
The Board of Cooperative Gods and Goddesses convened in an area of the universe known as District Seven, or The District as gods called it. The District was like the universes capitol. A retreat for any of the gods who wanted some R and R from controlling everything. Restaurants and a few pubs, recreation areas where they could swim in warm liquid methane or play a few rounds of Gomf (Gods Only Mortals Forbidden). They could visit the Library of Everything, catch up on current events in any galaxy, or just relax. It was also where the BOCGG held court to make decisions that effected the entirety of everything. Unfortunately for Cosmo that was precisely why he was here in The District on this day. To go before the Board and issue a plea for forgiveness and the go ahead to start over.
The tallest of the gods spoke first. “Cosmo, you have made a gargantuan mistake in trashing your garden. You broke a law when you interfered. If you check page 7 of the BOCGG codebook it clearly states than no god may interfere with the natural progress of any form of life anywhere. You have deliberately destroyed the entire garden. What have you to say of yourself?” Cosmo knew it was senseless to lie to the gods because they can tell instantly. “Yes its true, I destroyed the giant dinosaurs I was growing but in my defense they where way too massive and ate tons of vegetation each day. And they were destroying each other and all the beauty around them. They would have destroyed the garden in no time. I felt it best to begin over with a much more efficient and intelligent design. If you gaze now upon the garden you will see it is perhaps the most colorful in the universe. I have grown many shapes and colors on earth and it is more magnificent then ever before. It even smells nice.“ Cosmo presented at bouquet of beautifully arranged flowers from Earth to each of the Goddesses. Instantly he had won the lady lords over and he knew it. “All I need to complete this garden is some new life seeds so I may create new creatures, much smaller in stature and less capable of destruction. I have learned much from my mistake. From the ahes of my faux pas I have come up with a cutting edge form of existence I sall the cycle of life. Given the chance it could become a prototype used all over the universe. I would be overjoyed to have the opportunity to institute it on Earth and make a garden more worthy of The Board. I deeply regret having caused such destruction. I promise will not ever mingle in the affairs of what grows within the confines of my garden ever again.” Tall God gave Cosmo fifty lashes with the high beams from his angry eye sockets. “Indeed Cosmo, we all witnessed disaster even from as far away as we are.“ Time to lay on some god charm so with kindergarten eyes and trademark flirtatious grin he said, “Well did you at least enjoy the light show?” He haned him a picture of the new colorful planet and an earth cigar. Tall God visibly softened his stare and playfully rolled his eyes. Cosmo was one of the most handsome and charming of all the gods and was well liked in every corner of the universe. He quickly submitted his new and improved garden blueprint which was in fact quite impressive. This seemed to satisfy the gods who were all nodding their heads in agreement. The Lengthy Lord spoke again. “The Board is impressed and looks in anticipation of this cycle of life. So it shall be Cosmo, you will go back to Solar System 728KJ and replant, but may I suggest you use your new life seeds more wisely. There be no need to rush things.” He shook hid lean angular noggin and threw up his overstretched arms. “Why is it you young gods are all so fucking impatient?” Cosmo agreed that he would indeed secure a well thought out plan this time and thanked each god individually. No slouch at schmoozing was Cosmo………………….PEACE