Cosmo, Lifescaper of the planet Earth

Quick update… The God Cosmo got pissed off and threw a meteor at The Garden Earth because his dinosaurs were fornicating openly and killing everything in sight. The pending explosion destroyed his garden and now he has to go in front of the Board Of Co-operative Gods and Godesses and beg them to allow him another chance at growing life on his planet. This is what went down…..

Denial is not yet just a river in Egypt. A deep sadness overtook the creator of the dinosaur. Still smoldering and becoming increasingly covered in dust Cosmo reflected on his once thriving lizard kingdom. Had they not been so enormous he mused, perhaps things would have been different. He wanted to have a way to remember the jumbo Jurassic relics . After some time many of the hearty vegetation had once again begun to sprout, rising up from the ashes. It seemed as though everything reminded him of his creatures. “I shall name this period of existence the cretaceous period in honor of my creatures. In order that no one, especially me, ever forget their magnifigance I shall create a living memorial. With that Cosmo placed very colorful vegetation he called flowers everywhere. At first the flowers were impractical, the only benefit being the ambiance and je ne sais quoi of their beauty and fresh interesting aroma’s. The wonderful aroma’s to cover the stench of scorched earth were amusing. He had no idea what an impact they would have later on. Flowers would become symbolic of love and beauty and figure into a strange talk between fathers and sons some day. People would fashion perfumes and air fresheners form their enticing smells and men would find them a beneficial tool in making up for mistakes. Flowers would proudly display their floral genitalia and bees would find them irresistible. Flowers would come to represent anticipation of sex for both honey bee and honey dear alike. Forever linked with love because that was why Cosmo created them, to remind him of his love for the once utopian behemoths. Beautiful flowers of white pink peach, purple, red, yellow, blue, violet, green and orange. Fantastically designed shapes of bells, funnels, trumpets, tubes saucers, bowls and labia. Brilliantly displayed all over the land masses along with new and tastier vegetation. It was a sight to behold. An arboretum of the grandest scale any had ever seen. This colorful garden alone would have stopped a charging raptor in its path to gawk at the beauty and inhale deeply the scent of passion on this marvel of an orb. An ambush makeover on the grandest of scales.
Now a new task was at hand. “I will take my new plan to the BOCGG and see if they will approve and allow me to once again have mobile life in the garden. It was time to face the rhythms melodies and harmonies expressed through instruments. Cosmo knew it was no use trying to pull the woolly mammoth over the boards eyes. Best thing to do was fess up and submit his urban renewal plan. However, when Cosmo went to request some new life seeds, the board of co-operative god and goddesses were waiting for him. They did not look pleased.
The Board of Cooperative Gods and Goddesses convened in an area of the universe known as District Seven, or The District as gods called it. The District was like the universes capitol. A retreat for any of the gods who wanted some R and R from controlling everything. Restaurants and a few pubs, recreation areas where they could swim in warm liquid methane or play a few rounds of Gomf (Gods Only Mortals Forbidden). They could visit the Library of Everything, catch up on current events in any galaxy, or just relax. It was also where the BOCGG held court to make decisions that effected the entirety of everything. Unfortunately for Cosmo that was precisely why he was here in The District on this day. To go before the Board and issue a plea for forgiveness and the go ahead to start over.
The tallest of the gods spoke first. “Cosmo, you have made a gargantuan mistake in trashing your garden. You broke a law when you interfered. If you check page 7 of the BOCGG codebook it clearly states than no god may interfere with the natural progress of any form of life anywhere. You have deliberately destroyed the entire garden. What have you to say of yourself?” Cosmo knew it was senseless to lie to the gods because they can tell instantly. “Yes its true, I destroyed the giant dinosaurs I was growing but in my defense they where way too massive and ate tons of vegetation each day. And they were destroying each other and all the beauty around them. They would have destroyed the garden in no time. I felt it best to begin over with a much more efficient and intelligent design. If you gaze now upon the garden you will see it is perhaps the most colorful in the universe. I have grown many shapes and colors on earth and it is more magnificent then ever before. It even smells nice.“ Cosmo presented at bouquet of beautifully arranged flowers from Earth to each of the Goddesses. Instantly he had won the lady lords over and he knew it. “All I need to complete this garden is some new life seeds so I may create new creatures, much smaller in stature and less capable of destruction. I have learned much from my mistake. From the ahes of my faux pas I have come up with a cutting edge form of existence I sall the cycle of life. Given the chance it could become a prototype used all over the universe. I would be overjoyed to have the opportunity to institute it on Earth and make a garden more worthy of The Board. I deeply regret having caused such destruction. I promise will not ever mingle in the affairs of what grows within the confines of my garden ever again.” Tall God gave Cosmo fifty lashes with the high beams from his angry eye sockets. “Indeed Cosmo, we all witnessed disaster even from as far away as we are.“ Time to lay on some god charm so with kindergarten eyes and trademark flirtatious grin he said, “Well did you at least enjoy the light show?” He haned him a picture of the new colorful planet and an earth cigar. Tall God visibly softened his stare and playfully rolled his eyes. Cosmo was one of the most handsome and charming of all the gods and was well liked in every corner of the universe. He quickly submitted his new and improved garden blueprint which was in fact quite impressive. This seemed to satisfy the gods who were all nodding their heads in agreement. The Lengthy Lord spoke again. “The Board is impressed and looks in anticipation of this cycle of life. So it shall be Cosmo, you will go back to Solar System 728KJ and replant, but may I suggest you use your new life seeds more wisely. There be no need to rush things.” He shook hid lean angular noggin and threw up his overstretched arms. “Why is it you young gods are all so fucking impatient?” Cosmo agreed that he would indeed secure a well thought out plan this time and thanked each god individually. No slouch at schmoozing was Cosmo………………….PEACE

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