Fractured Tales of The Bible

Last chapter Adam and Eve were caught in an embarrassing love embrace and thrown out of the garden by each of their tribal leaders The farming “Aggies” and the herding “Shepherds”

The Story of Everything
The fates of Cain and Able and Global Warfare
Now quite some time had passed, and together Adam and Eve grew some fruits and vegetables, and raised some livestock making the best of both their worlds. The leaders of the tribes were not without compassion and harbored modicums of guilt. They had grown concerned for their outcasts welfare and sent their favorite spies out to find them and make sure they were doing okay. As luck would have it, well you remember lucks good fortune in stories, they both set out from each of their camps the same day. Abel from South Eden brought with him an offering of lamb, and Cain from North Eden brought with him an offering of tomatoes. Though they left simultaneously Cain arrived earlier his being a bit closer to Adam and Eves new little love nest. Cain placed his tomato offering outside the love hut and ventured inside. With Adam out tending his garden Cain came across Eve sleeping by herself. Cain stared for a long while much as Adam had so long ago. He began to feel the same funny feelings Adam exhibited. He remembered fondly the sensuous entanglements they had performed and it made him horny. Cain could’nt help himself, his ever hardening pole took control of his brain and forced him to act upon the feelings immediately. He snuck up on Eve and pulled open her loose fitted blouse, revealing her pale skinned breasts. This startled the sleeping Eve but her sound sleep left her just a tad groggy and unsure of what was going on. But Cain was in a sexual trance grabbing lustfully at her exotic looking body. He began clutching and clawing at her breasts and ripped the remaining clothes from her body leaving her naked before him. The sudden attack brought Eve immediately awake and to her senses and she loudly protested calling out for Adam. But Adam was far from earshot out in his field and completely unaware of Eves dilemma. Cain worked himself into a frenzy of sexual excitement as he gazed upon her naked body with the colorless hair covering her woman regions. The louder and more forceful her protest the more excited Cain became, throwing Eves naked body to the ground and forcing her legs apart. Again Eve screamed for Adam, but Adam was unable to hear a sound. But Eves screams did not go unheard completely, for just around the corner was Abel, the shepherd spy that had a longtime crush Eve. Instantly he recognized her voice and assumed that the long time object of his desire, of his obsession, was being beaten by the lowlife shit spreading farmer she was banished with. He let go of his lamb, trounced over Cain’s tomatoes, and grabbed Cain pulling him off of Eve and flinging him across the hut. Abel took one look at Eve he was overcome with his pent up desires and held her tightly as if she were his maiden. Eve was confused beyond belief, having gone from being raped by an Aggie to be caressed inappropriately from an old wannabe flame of a shepherd. Cain believing he had thrown Adam across the hut and incapacitated the dirty wife beater forgot why he was there and began attempting to kiss his lost love. But Cain was anything but incapacitated, he was enraged that some lamb shit stinking herder was trying to move in on his magic prize. The only thing he could think about was getting back to that most interesting looking colorless love button. Whatever obstacle that was in his way would need to be eliminated. Abel looked around and saw a carving knife, picked it up, and plunged it deep into Abel’s back. Abel let out a cough, then a moan, and dropped to the ground. Cain stared now at the lifeless body on the ground. He barely even noticed that Eve had run out of the hut crying hysterically. Cain took a minute to catch his breath and analyze his newfound situation. “Fuck” he mumbled, “I killed the fucker. Serpents shit I’m in big trouble now.” He evaluated his options and made an executive decision. He knew he could blame everything on Adam, but he had to hightail it out of there pretty quickly if it was to work. He took the knife but left the lamb and the trampled tomatoes and headed back towards Eden as he formulated his story. He wondered what might happen to him as punishment for killing another man. No one had ever done that before, so this is groundbreaking territory here. Cain rolled his eyes and said, “Fuckin’ A!”
On the way back to the Garden of Eden, unfortunately for Cain, he was confronted first by a group of Shepherds. Terrified he tried to walk past without a word. The Shepherds would have none of it and asked him where he was going. “I am on my way back to my village to report to my leader. It would be in your best interest to allow me passage.” Cain had some newfound bravado having been the first person to ever commit murder. But the Shepherds knew that he had come from the same wooded area in which their own compadre Abel had ventured just a few short hours ago. They thought something seemed odd and opted to allow their leader to figure out what to do so the largest and oldest of the Shepherds spoke up. “You will come with us stinky farmer man. I believe our leader may have some questions for you.”
Well they brought Cain to the leader and he questioned him as to where he had been. Cain may have been a murderer, but he was no liar yet. He told the leader he had been to visit the banished bi-racial couple of Adam and Eve, and was now returning to his fields to work the soil. The Leader, knowing full well he must have seen the missing member of their tribe asked, “And what of Abel, have you seen Abel the Shepherd?” Startled but still not ready to become a liar Cain chose to divert the attentions of the many eyes glaring upon him. “Am I your brothers keeper?” Cain meant to imply he had no idea and further it was not his responsibility. The Leader however did not take the bait. “I see on your feet you have a smudge of sheep shit. Where might a farmer be that he should lay his foot upon fresh lambs dung?” At this point Cain knew he was busted and believed this to finally be the time to become a liar. He raised his hands to stress his denial that he had not seen any Shepherds, not Abel and not even the one they called Eve. The mistake Cain made was raising his hands and allowing them to see the blood stains. Caught red-handed with a Mark just as plain as day, The Leader accused Cain of killing them all. “Just look at your hands,” exclaimed the Leader, “All stained red from the blood of a human perhaps even Adam or Eve.” Cain made a lame attempt at denial claiming the red to be from some tomatoes he had picked, then switching his story and claiming Abel attempted to take his life. Despite his best efforts at becoming an accomplished liar, Cain Was tied up and brought to his own village along with The Shepherd leader. They went before the Aggie Leader and an entourage of council members. Here they held what would be the first ever courtroom drama, with both sides making a case. In the end, the Aggies and The Shepherds could not come to an agreement, and instead began to war with each other. That war goes on even today, in the 20th century.

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