Confession Carousel


Every minute counts
Sixty ticks just snuck out my window
Sixty heartbeats closer to death
Sixty more seconds stolen from my future
Given to my past
What do you regret?
Running up a debt in your dark silhouette
Or better yet
Having to fret from the merciless threat
While you break out in a sweat
Choosing Heaven or Hell
Soul to save or to sell
Maybe you cheated
Repeated and repeated until your life was completed
Your love deleted
Life laughed at me
Passing me by like a cosmic hitchhiker
No rides for the aging solitude
So rude
That’s when you feel the need
That’s when its time to do it
To jump aboard your confession carousel
The final tour of atonement
Hoping hate peels away wrongs for a new birth
The remembrance of the love in which we were born
Time goes into overdrive
Kick it…


The spinning confession is an aggression of complexion
But for the sake of this session I’ll repeat the question
What’s your main sin?
Running up a debt in your dark silhouette
Or better yet
Having to fret from the merciless threat
While you break out in a sweat
Choosing Heaven or Hell
Soul to save or to sell
Maybe you cheated
Repeated and repeated until your life was completed
Your love deleted
Did you screw up the few
You think this shit is all about you?
Your so fucking conceited your ego goes untreated
That’s nothing new
Perhaps that’s your shame
Think you own the whole game but your so fucking lame
Who cares who’s to blame
Its not yours to regain so now you refrain
Just let go your indiscretions
Unburden your possessions
We all think we have the world by the balls
Until reality calls
Puts up its walls
And its innocent who fall
Realities perception such an icy reception
Without exception
Act quick before time runs away
To voice its rejection
Guilt will own you and place you on a spinning wheel of angst
Natures pranks
Spiritual thanks
Filled with dejection
Waiting in vain
For your confession……
Slow it down

Fate is your shadow
If follows you from the day you’re born
If you move fast, fate moves faster
Move slow, it creeps behind
But fate is always there
Following and waiting
In the corners of your shadow
Creeping closer every second
Its time to fess up before fate eats you up
Pick a horse for your carousel
Choose the ringer of the death bell
Tell someone your secrets
Reveal them your soul
Unchain the ghosts
That burden your shoulders
Peer into the infinite sunset
Face destinies soldiers
The abyss stares back in disbelief
Giving no relief
And time is quitting
So the seconds sneak by
The years seem to fly
And time catches up to you
Confess today…. before it’s too late


Some people follow God their entire lives
Some find God once their fate tastes bitter
But everyone gets on the confession carousel
No one escapes the final ride
Once time claims its victory over flesh
And screams out for spiritual release
You choose to tell, or remain silent
Be the pitcher………. or the batter
But for fucks sake, once your dead
Does it really matter?


Met A Man


Met a man without his legs
Guess he hadn’t heard the news
Cause he stood up in front of me
Walked a mile in my shoes
When he got to where he was
He said friend listen to me
It isn’t just the legs you walk on
Take you where you need to be

Met a man without his eyes
Felt his way around the night
Did the same in the light of the day
No difference when you have no sight
Some are blind yet they have eyes
Still they never have the vision
To see the truths for what they are
To make their own decision

Met a man who had no hands
Yet he held me in his esteem
If you need a helping hand
You’ll want him on your team
Its not hands to lift you up
But ones self determination
Then he gave me a double five
Lifted me to my destination

Met a man without his tongue
Used sign language to converse
Said people with too much to say
Seem to always make things worse
Its more the content of the thought
Words are just echoes of your choice
Even thoughts when left unuttered
Can still be strong of voice

Met a man who had no arms
He hugged me with my fears
Told me its not arms my I need
To embrace the right ideas
We all need something to believe
An embracement of strong assurance
It isn’t muscles that measure strength
It’s the integrity of our endurance

Met a man who had no ears
Yet he knew exactly what I meant
Nodded yes in affirmation
Because the message had been sent
He said he knew just how I felt
Because emotions aren’t spoken
He promised he would listen close
A vow he’s never broken

I was bumping into trouble because my life seemed dark as night
I met a man with no hands or eyes who held me up to see the light
Never sure of where I should go or how to cross the many miles
I met a man with no arms or legs taught me to travel on my smiles
So many people with so many tales of people reaching their goal
Listened to every story I heard until I met a man without his soul
Could have been a demon or maybe it was the devil in disguise
But I don’t need to look at him because I can see without my eyes

About that man who had no eyes
His vision brightened up my day
Leave to the sightless few
To teach us how to see the way

About the man who had no legs
Never once led me astray
Leave to the challenged few
To help us find the way


Noah’s Ark De Triomphe (part I)


Whatever Floats Your Boat Lord
The very second Eve placed her mouth on the forbidden fruit the serpent came alive. One look at the huge smile on Adams face made it obvious that sinning was enjoyable so it was no surprise it would become so popular. It wasn’t long before the garden turned into an outdoor den of inequity giving birth to what would be forever known as the oldest profession in the world. Evil penetrated (yes, penetrated) the entire crescent and sex and sinning were rampant. In fact sinning took the entire world by storm, which is exactly what gave God his big rainstorm/flood idea. God looked down from his floating throne taking notice of one man and his family that had somehow remained righteous while everyone around them were balling and screwing everything in sight. “Hmmmm, that Noah dude seems to have the where with all to resist the temptations of the flesh” he thought to himself. Likely it was by his wife constantly saying Noah nookie tonight babe, I have a headache that kept them free of the serpents grasp but whatever, it got the big mans notice. God decided it was Noah he would entrust with his plan to float the lucky few while he caused storms and floods to wipe out all sinning little bastards on earth. God sent word down to Noah of a plan, a very involved plan to build a floating zoo, a kind of jumbo ferry, a luxury Species Saver yacht that could withstand forty days and forty nights of cold Seattle rain.
Noah, a carpenter by trade, (Apparently the big guy has a thing for carpenters) was in his back yard constructing a small birdhouse when the still of the day was interrupted by a loud thunderclap. “NOAH!!!” The old man was startled, “Ah….who said that” In a deep voice that only Noah could hear his answer came, “Its me Noah, God.” Noah looked around to insure he was alone then checked to make sure he had taken his meds. “God? God who?” Obviously stressed out from all the sinners romping around in his world God showed his frustration. “Oh now don’t you start too Dag nab it. How many freaking gods do you know?” Noah pondered explaining the theory of polytheism but considering how loud the voice inside his head was getting he opted to play it cool. “oh I see, THE God. Sorry God, but its not like you come by regularly you know, I mean I didn’t even recognize your voice. Why are you calling on me anyway, your, um, what do I call you?” The voice in Noah’s head took on an air of patience, “Most people call me The Lord God Our Savior but Lord will do. I don’t want to sound like some lofty narcissist or anything. And you’re right, I should have called first but that’s not how it works in heaven. Look, I created this world, took me seven long hard days, and I put a lot of effort into it to have to watch all these frigging sinners getting naked and fornicating everywhere. You’d think I put men’s brains in their penises not in their heads, or maybe there was a typo in the memo and someone got heads mixed up. Anyway, I was watching you and your family and noticed none of you holy rollers sin and the idea struck me. You my righteous man are going to build me an ark, collect two of every animal, place them inside the ark and float to safety while I drown every living piece of feces in sight. I am going to fill the world with a rain like no ones ever seen before and kill every sinning piece of crap around. You Noah, will be the savior of the earth, the guardian of life.” Noah placed his head firmly in his hands squeezing them together as if the voice would ooze out from his ears and leave. “Is this for real, or is this early onset Alzheimer’s? Is someone pranking me? Where’s that Kushner kid? I am far from convinced lord, I’m gonna need a sign, some kind of proof that you really are the all mighty .” God lifted Noah by the scruff of his neck far above the mountains and dangled him over the Nile precariously. When he put Noah back down he was shaking wildly from fear. “Okay…So what’s the plan Lord God Our Savior?”
God told Noah he would return tomorrow with a blueprint of the ark and a list of all the things he would need including special diets and a comprehensive plan of which animals should be kept apart. Noah was still a bit stunned from being manhandled by God as well as perplexed on exactly how he was to accomplish the feat so he decided to go to town for a few beers to calm his nerves. The very second he opened the door to The Tree Of Life Tavern he understood what God was talking about. Right there on a table was a copulating couple oblivious to anyone else as they both screamed coming to an obvious simultaneous screeching orgasm. A huge multi participant orgy on the floor to left and some sort of bizarre circle of naked men on the right each of which apparently had their hands full. You could not only hear sex everywhere, there was so much sinning the air was thick with the smell of sex. Noah turned around and left feeling disgusted now determined to complete Gods task.
The next day Noah got the blueprint which was incredibly complicated. God spoke directly to him, “The instructions are written in five languages, you can pick up all the lumber and hardware you need in Sweden at a town called Ikea. Don’t worry if you have a few screws left over when your done, just toss them away we always put a few extras in. Build the arc, then We’ll talk about collecting the animals. You good with this Noah?” Noah’s head was spinning knowing what a huge undertaking he was about to embark on in addition to the ridiculing he would likely receive when his neighbors see a ginourmous boat in his yard. “Yea, I’m okay with this, but I do have one question. What in the hell is a cubit?”
As time passed Noah was out dutifully building this magnificent floating structure while withstanding the constant ridiculing of his neighbors once they discovered his plight. “Hey Noah, heard from God lately? Maybe a postcard from heaven or at least a voice mail?” “Tell the elephants to pack their own trunks” “Anyone need a floating Club Med resort for their yard? I Noah guy hhahaha” and so on. The humiliation was relentless. His family was beginning to worry about him when he stood at the top of the ark seemingly talking to the air, but Noah pushed on and kept building without a word. After five an a half months the ark was complete and harassment aside it was magnificent. A beautiful 300x500x300 cubit super yacht with sections upon sections of living quarters. When God came down with CO in hand for the final inspection he was pleased, “Noah this is beautiful. Oh Me Myself !What a wonderful job you did.” Noah was beaming with pride but wasn’t about to let the moment slip away without getting some answers.
“Thanks God, it wasn’t easy and I am laughed at from one end of the fertile crescent to the other. I nearly busted my ass literally more than once and I need to know just how all this is going to work. I get it, you’re gonna cause a meteorological catastrophe to wipe out sin while I’m supposed to get two of every animal, convince them to get on board then feed and shelter them. How am I suppose to get lions and sheep together at the dinner table?” Go handed Noah the CO, “That’s right Noah, ye of little faith. You will get all the animals on board into their quarters, feed them and shelter them while I literally rain death upon the world.” Noah still frustrated, “And you say this rain will continue going on for forty days? Seriously?” God chuckled, “And forty nights, it’s a special travel plan. And yes Noah, you need to do all this because I am going to bring on the rainstorm of all rainstorms and when your ark finally lands you and all those animals will get off the ark to start the new world. You and your wife will be my new more modern version of Adam and Eve. Just don’t let Mrs. Noah near the snakes!” Noah stared at God with doubt filled eyes. “You know Noah, it would be a shame after all the work you put in to end up drowning with all the sinners but if you’re not up for being my Caucasian crusader I’ll begin searching for a stronger race to take the ark.” Noah had a mild panic attack, “No no no, I’ll do it, I will! I wasn’t questioning you Lord, I guess I was just a bit frustrated, I’m sorry. I will take good care of all the animals.” God was feeling a bit smug having played the race card so expertly, “That’s better my son, now here’s the list of animals, their diets, and any special requirements my animals have. Very important! The termites must have all the leftover lumber in their suite or you will have major problems. But above all remember, you need to make sure that you have one male and one female of each species. I do not approve of any of that same sex nonsense! You have two weeks to assemble the zoo before the storm comes…. Oh and one more thing, make sure you bring my beautiful one horned creatures along, they’re kind of a favorite of mine plus but are tricky and may attempt to hide.” Noah mumbled to himself in his most sarcastic tone, “Here’s the list, don’t forget the one horn, bring an umbrella, special diets…pain in my ass!” A loud thunderclap caused Noah to shut up and cower, “You say something Noah?!” “No Lord, not a thing.”


The Existential Bakers Guide To Coping With Stress


Stress is a most dangerous emotion no matter what religion you practice. I bet given enough time and the right person even the Dalia lama could lose it an be sent into a tirade. “You better hope I don’t see you in next life because Dalia Lama never forget face!” Why? Because stress is just the trigger for being really pissed off, the motivation to become a temporary mixed martial arts expert an unleash your fury on the on pissing you off. At that moment. But stress does other shit to us too, it alters us mentally, emotionally, an even physically in ways that are out of our control. Or is it?
Most of us, unfortunately, are all too familiar with the five steps of grieving. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. It takes a long time to reach the level of acceptance because when we lose someone we love very dearly it leaves a void that can never be completely filled but in order to continue living we find a way to manage the pain and the loss. So we go through the stages in order to cope with our loss. The same stages apply to stress.
Stress doesn’t leave a void but rather creates a spike in anger and frustration that raises the blood pressure and effects our overall health negatively. It can be dealt with in many ways, weed, xanax, vodka, primal scream all the way up to murder, which I personally don’t recommend. But the end result is the same as grieving, acceptance. Stress also involves that all too familiar five stage process and as an existentialist I have trained myself to go directly to the acceptance stage at the start, thereby decreasing the power the stressful situation holds over me. As an example I will use the very stress inducing situation of a traffic jam which causes many an over-extension middle finger injury as well as an unnecessary blinding road rage to fill the inside of your vehicle. I find it works best to just realize at the onset that I cannot control the jam, if I am going to be late all the screaming and middle finger waving in the world will not get me to be where I need to be on time.
The anguish riddled inconvenienced traffic negotiator goes through the five stages of stress. He comes upon the traffic jam and heads directly into denial. “Oh no, not now! This can’t be fucking happening, not today. God dammit this is not happening to me.” This often escalates rapidly to the anger stage in which the middle finger exercises its right to free speech, the head often takes to trembling, and the driver voices his opinion paying strict attention to the vocabulary he learned in the schoolyard not the classroom. “Are you fucking kidding me?? Pull the fuck up asshole! Move you piece of shit fucking worthless scum. Get off your god damn phone dipshit and move!!” Anger as an emotion is seldom in a hurry and loves to stay and visit so this stage will last quite a long time. Usually until enough yelling is done to satisfy the stressed out driver that every other driver on the road understands that their appointments pale in comparison to the depth of importance of the angry drivers schedule. But inevitably, once the face is full to the brim with angry throbbing blood vessels anger concedes to bargaining. “Oh my God if you make this traffic go away I’ll go to church every Sunday for a year. Maybe if I go this way I’ll save some time. There has to be an alternative route!” ……….. After all alternative routes have been exhausted and traffic is still laughing it ass off directly into the drivers face is when depression sets in. “God fucking dammit, why always me? Why do I always get stuck in this bullshit? What the Hell did I ever do to deserve this?” Finally the angry driver relents and accepts the fact that we live in a three dimensional world and cannot travel through the other cars but must obey the laws of physics governing that all things are made of matter and solid object such as automobiles and trucks are impenetrable without serious consequences. Once the driver has complete the first four steps, denied it will last, shouted every expletive in the known universe and begins foaming at the mouth, finished figuring out a way out of the mess, an fought back the tears of defeat he’s ready for acceptance. At this point he may begin forming and practicing his role as the apologetic late arriver. “I am so sorry I’m late the traffic was unreal, I swear I left in plenty of time but first there was construction, then an accident, and the traffic was relentless. I did everything I could to get here on time, I am so so sorry” or he may opt to just allow his anger to apologize for him, “I can’t believe this damn traffic, I swear there has to be a better way. If you have to go anywhere DON’T take the highway! Friggen traffic, what’d I miss?” Either way he allowed stress to ruin his day, or at the very least his morning.
I get that its hard, but with the practice and meditation it is existentially possible to convert this conundrum of traffic jam into a less stressful and perhaps even temporarily enjoyable ride. The existentialist knows he is going to face whatever consequences he must for being late, but only need to suffer them at the moment of impact with whomever it caused distress. Worrying about the consequence in the car merely prolongs the life of the consequence. Accept that even if existing there are and never have been any god or gods that would concern themselves in the slightest with your traffic plight. They would be far too busy keeping their promises to football players, baseball players, and boxers who have all petitioned them for a win. Accept the fact that no matter how you react, the vehicle in front of you will not simply go away. Select some favorite music, put in a CD,(EB recommends some Grateful Dead, or even some Traffic, ironically) adjust the interior temperature to a comfortable position and go with the flow, however slow. Amuse yourself by checking out the inflamed angry faces of other rivers who are stuck in the stage and far away from acceptance. Wave to them, blow them a kiss. It make them even more angry and stressed and the amusement you get will help you to forget you may be losing your job, or an account, or just en route to an enraged person at the other end of your trip. On the other hand, don’t mistake kindness for weakness because even though you may see an existentialist smiling, almost enjoying a traffic jam he is still just as fragile as the rest of the world and if you happen to push him too far…. I will kick the everloving shit out of you motherfucker!…. I mean, he will respond accordingly….Peace

The Flexible Bible (Stop using Sects as a weapon)


This is not an indictment on god or religion or faith, its an observation of a book, whether fiction or non-fiction, that is too often used as a weapon not a reference for good behavior. Religion is a non issue for me and I applaud anyone who remains true to the tenets of their faith. I have witnessed people escape addictions, avoid lives of crime, and live good lives while practicing their religious faith. The problem for me is when someone takes a book they consider the foundation of their faith and twists it into a weapon to use against anyone else who has different beliefs then they themselves. The weaponized bible is difficult to defend against because it is so flexible its contents can be used to condone almost any acts up to and including killing while demonizing others such as sharing love. There are religious soldiers who use this flexible weapon very skillfully by determining which excerpts can be use in literal terms to further their agenda and which can be more metaphoric to excuse the concept of say stoning someone to death for having unapproved sexual relationships. It’s difficult to defend against because the flex bible is not a conventional weapon engaged to cause physical destruction but rather its used to turn humans against each other and band together against who they perceive as their enemies. They destroy others using beliefs on such trivial things as sexual orientation, race, faith, or even an interpretation of the words that same piece of literature that differs from their own interpretation. An eye for an eye justifies revenge but I suppose if it’s a cheek you turn the other one, its very confusing. Apparently people who have sex with other of the same gender place all true believer in grave danger, and wives who do not “submit” to their husbands should be sentence to death. Hopefully metaphorically.
In order to use this codex of literature as a weapon successfully the user requires an adept ability to use hypocrisy at will while disregarding the fact that hypocrisy is not a foundation of religion. In fact any true religion should consider hypocrisy as much a sin as lying. The user must be able to preach the love of all of gods children yet condemn to dearth any person engaging in same sex relations. A great example of this hypocrisy is how easily they can condemn Russia’s crazy anti gay policies while fighting to deny gay marriage in their own country. Somehow they are capable of sweeping it under the rug the fact that many of the leaders of their religion have engaged in sex with not only a member of the same gender, but underage and incapable of consent. For many church enthusiasts it’s okay to cheat on a spouse, or have a number of extramarital affairs, so long as you pray and ask forgiveness. Pepper the rosary with a few our fathers and hail Mary’s and poof, sins absolved. A few bucks to the church won’t hurt either. But if you have sex with someone of your own gender you are an abomination of god, who aside from a allowing a few million abominations to be created is perfect.
So this is a warning, beware of the warriors that use the flexible bible because they come in sheep’s clothing. They look like average people, they often have big smiles and looks of comfort and compassion on their faces. They offer words of encouragement, understanding, and hope, but behind those words and smiles hide some of the most vicious and evil people around looking to turn you into a clone follower of their own religion or toss you to the lions to be eaten alive. They group together and petition the lord. Not the lord god but the lord of the law, expressing in legal terms that their religion must be considered superior to all others. Any president who does not conclude a speech with god bless America is an atheist, and all atheists are evil and should be stoned to death or turned into pillars of salt. Religion and Patriotism are the same thing, and not concluding a speech with gods name is even worse than the sin of not wearing a flag pin.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti American or anti religion, I’m anti judgmental, but unfortunately that’s one of the most misinterpreted words in many religions. The concept of Judge Not is practiced much too infrequently. On the plus side as I have stated I have seen people conquer addictions, defeat alcoholism, and turn their lives around through religion, relying on that book, but they tend to use it as an aid to lift them up as opposed to a weapon to tear others down. The less perfect people of the world tend not to judge as much because they understand that as humans we sometimes act human, make mistakes, have weaknesses. All I’m saying is be true to yourself, and let others be true to themselves, don’t attempt to force them into your concept of acceptable living. Live and let live, judge not lest you be judged. Basically, mind your own fucking business.

Chasing Time in Search Of Life


Life running out
Time standing still

Once full of wonder
Now had his fill

Behind the sparkle
Light growing dim

Under the smile
World dark and grim

Run out of verve
But not out of time

Hard day by day
Towing the line

Don’t let them see it
Don’t let them stare

Turn on a floodlight
Hide from the glare

Condition and acceptance
Its what they expect

When everything’s gone
You’re left with respect

A wink and a nod
Everything’s great

Life will catch up
Time is your fate

Existential for Death


Existentialists are so often misunderstood, even by other existentialist. They are not nihilists or anarchists, nor are they atheists. Existentialism is a philosophical belief not a faith. Many today are jumping on the ex train because its believed that existentialist are clever intellectuals that speak in profound quotes of some of the more famous existentialists. While most of us are clever, not all of us are brainiacs who sip cappuccinos at cafes and discuss matters of global implications. We are just average people whose beliefs do not fit in to a mainstream belief that we all need a god to believe in and a religion to tell us out how and why. That’s not to say we can’t.
Existentialism does not rule out the possibility of a creator although for the majority if there is a creator its nothing like the one most of us were force-fed as children. No all knowing all seeing god who demands praise from everyone, no angels waiting up in any paradise community after we die. But that’s not to say that some form of energy or entity didn’t have a hand in getting the ball rolling so to speak. For us it’s a little clearer than a magic image in the sky watching to make sure we behave. It’s a cycle of life, we are born, we live our life, then we die. We are in that cycle just the same as every non worshiping living thing on earth. I can’t prove this but I firmly believe bacteria do not worship any pathogen gods or pray in any amoebic temples yet they live the same cycle we do. The bottom line is everything lives, everything dies. If we view it in a strictly linear form then all of existence is in a line, like a time line where we have a starting point and ending point and all people and events in our timeline intersect at various points. Our lives are Point A to Points unknown. We all accept that others lived before us, and others will live after us, and in every religion death is an accepted stage. However temporary, whether it leads to paradise, another life, another stage of existence, or pure nothingness it happens to us all. What occurs after death we tend to disagree, but death is imminent.
Accepting that makes it no easier to live ones life and like anyone else existentialist fear not death per say, but are more intrigued by the mysteries surrounding it. Only in death will we find answers. I was born into a Catholic family, raised as a Methodist (a matter of convenience for my parents), but told my true roots are of a Jewish heritage, so its no wonder my religious faith was so confusing. I doubted the existence of the god I was taught at a very young age so to help sort it out I studied many religions. I adopted many Buddhist philosophies and principles because much of it made sense. I did not however adopt any of the ritualistic behaviors because to me structuring faith makes faith void of integrity. If I need to follow a ritual then I am merely a copy of someone else’s belief. To me joining a specific religious society forces one into a clone relationship. If there is such a thing as soul or spirit it comes from within.
Religion is described as an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence. That makes your religion a random happenstance, an accident of birth not different from gender, or class. I didn’t seek out religion when I was young I was handed a religion to believe in. If my parents had stayed loyal to Catholicism I would have been a catholic, but I was switched to the protestant religion because the Methodist church was near home and more importantly next to the volunteer fire department in which my Dad was the Chief. And according to somewhere along my family lineage a family was forced to hide its Jewish heritage to avoid persecution and the name was never changed back. The illusion of being Christian gave my ancestors a much needed advantage. Not uncommon, look at the collection of Amish living in Lancaster known as “The Pennsylvania Dutch” A religion of Germanic settlers who didn’t wish to be associated with the German Deutschland so they misled people to believe them Dutch and not Deutsch. With so much switching back and forth, with interfaith marriages and families, how is it even possible for any religion to be the one true one?
Existentialism is relatively simple. Our existence precedes our essence leading us to an understanding that the self is what’s important, that we are merely tiny specks on tiny cogs in a complex universe. It gives us the ability to defy classification, especially when it come to religion. Its what’s in our hearts and our minds that matters. Live your best life, treat others as you wish to be treated, help out your fellow humans when they are in need, share and do not judge how others live their lives. Live and let live. Many religions claim to teach those principles yet they condemn others for their lots in life. Its hard for me to get behind a religion that tells you we are all of Gods children then tells you if you’re gay you are an abomination. Clearly forgetting judge not lest ye be judged. It irks me to see a person on social media claim their love of God and tell me how blessed we are and how we should rejoice in one post in social media, then spew hatred at someone because their politics are different in the next. Unfortunately it seems we live in an age of intense hypocrisy, especially among the holy rollers. Religion shouldn’t allow you to feel superior, but humble. Unfortunately most religions fall far short on the humble. This is the reason most existentialist show distain for religions.
I was born scraping and scratching my way through life and now I’ve reached a point where death becomes more and more imminent every day. One of the cruel jokes of life is when we finally realize how much of living is bullshit we are too tired to live the life we should. We allowed money to be the center of our lives, putting us not in a solar system like every other living thing, but a dollar system in which we all revolve around money. I should stop before I become more like the people I’m ranting about! Damn, looks like my equine ride has been puffing my weed again. Time for me to get own of my high horse. PEACE

Samsung And Da-Liar, conclusion..(best read while mind is alrerady dirty)

angry sam

A Pillar Of The Community?
Da-Liar was not proud of what she had done. Well, not proud of betraying Samsung, but she wished the camera phone had been invented because she thought his hair looked fab. A mullet for the ages, Spinal Tap meets Dog The bounty hunter. Samsung however did not share her admiration for the new doo. So unhappy with his mangy mallet that he removed every follicle on his head. Samsung had chosen to go all skin, his head shining like a giant…..well actually with his big oblong head shaved clean he kinda looked like a walking penis, but one proud motherhumping shit strutting walking penis with huge bulging and somewhat pissed muscles ready to engage in revenge. First he would kill the filthy bacon eating Philly-Steens then go back and take care of Da-Liar. He made his first strategic decision and turned himself in to King Davy who was overjoyed to have the bald headed joke back in chains and arranged for a party for all to see his conquest.
Posters all over town inviting Philly-Steens to a pagan revival and sacrificial extravaganza this Saturday. Come to the Behemoth Beheading Gala at the Gaza, Saturday evening at the Temple. Featured will be the disembowelment of Israelite slaves and the castration and sacrificial beheading of Samsung. The mighty Hebrew Hope becomes the Hebrew joke as he loses both his heads. Fun and game for all, bring the whole family. I tell ya, these Philly-Steens sure loved their huge ornate celebrations and this promised to be the smash of the century.
Samsung sat in his prison and planned out his moves. Even the other slaves were calling him names now, feeling as though he had severely disappointed them. Samsung had become the laughing stock of the entire Fertile Crescent. But you can’t keep a good man down and Samsung was up. Up for over six hours which is the magic amount of hard time before calling a doctor which he did.
The doctor arrived at his cell, keeping slaves healthy before killing them was one of their main obligations. “What is the problem here slave?” Samsung lifted his loincloth revealing an almost inhumanly large stiff erection and pointed to it, “It’s been like this for over six hours and it won’t go down. I can’t fight like this. Can you release the pressure doc?” Of course the doctor didn’t want to touch that so he ordered the guard to have Samsung brought to his office where he could have his nurse do the deed.
Samsung made no effort to conceal his towering totem and the very second the nurse saw it she sized up the situation in her head and smiled. “Put him in there” as she pointed to the exam room. The nurse informed the doctor she knew just what to o to release the pressure but she needs be alone with him. The doctor ha no objection, if word got out that he had anything to do with releasing the fluid of a raging hard on it would ruin his career. And then it would destroy his family practice once it was discovered it was an Israelites salami he emptied of its contents. So off into the exam room walked Samsung, followed by the nurse with a smile as big as the joystick she was anticipating. She spared no time and placed her hand on his pulsing penis, “Anyone who says size doesn’t matter never held this marvel in her hands.” She began to stimulate the bulging log but Samsung had other idea’s. “It works much better if you’ll let me do some exploring” as he unbuttoned her gown she slipped out effortlessly and instantly allowed him to take the lead.
The two lovers went at it over and over. Over the exam table, over the waiting chair, over the cabinets, over just about everything they could find in the room. Samsungs talents brought the dazed nurse to four, count them, four incredible orgasms until he finally allowed himself to explode 2 quarts of pent up love juice between her thighs. During the explosive love making session Samsung, having learned from Sa-Liar, convinced the nurse to slip him a key to unlock his chains which he stored up his…..well you know where he hid it. He promised her he was going to use it to escape and come back for another pressure relieving episode.
With his ego inflated and his erection deflated he was returned to his cell where he would wait until Saturday when his big moment would arrive. He was fed well and tended to like the fattened calf preparing for a Pagan sacrifice. The town was abuzz in anticipation of a bloody and brutal family night out. Everyone was looking forward to the fiesta except for Da-Liar. Ashamed and heartbroken at betraying her lover Da-Liar wished none of this shit had happened. She sat in her room and sulked and sobbed angry at herself for losing Samsung. The only time she smiled was when she thought back to their love sessions the time she called him “My Sam Schlang” and they would both chuckle before making love again. She would no longer feel him swelling inside her, no more tender touches on her flesh, no more tongue bathing her from toe to head. Da-Liar could take it no longer. All the money and presents and material things no longer meant anything to her. No more thrill from her Ferrari chariot, the Veuve Clicoquot was a no, going to the boutique was weak, the feeling from Louis Vuitton….gone, and from her Prada, nada! Da-Liar couldn’t take the pain anymore, so she drank a bottle of champagne, and went into the bathroom to get some sleeping pills so she could rest. “Hmmm. Maybe I better take 2 or 3 tonight?” After struggling with it she opted to take 5, a very high dose but not one she hadn’t taken before. But when Da-Liar went to sleep, she would not ever wake up again. For some reason, perhaps it was a combination of not eating,drinking the champagne and the pills, or perhaps the pills were stronger than usual, or maybe she took more than he thought. No matter, she’s dead now and will never be able to answer those questions.
If Samsung had known that Da-Liar was gone he may have been sad, or he may have felt vindicated we’ll never know. What we can be sure of however is that on Saturday he was full of determination. He removed the hidden key and cleaned it off thoroughly before unlocking the chains. The prison guards rounded up the evenings sacrificial slaves and paraded them around the Temple as the Philly-Steens jeered and called them names. “Die you worthless penny miser” or “Eat shit and live for a little while”, and “It’s just a party, nothing to lose your head over.” The crowd had a special place in their hateful hearts for when Samsung was walked by. “yo dickhead, I got ya ham sandwich right here”, or “Hey ya bald pecker-head, lose ya Bah Mitzvah?” and “Bring that monster schlong over hear and do me one more time’ (The Nurse). But all of it just bounced of Samsung, he knew that in a short time all the revelers would be crushed by the stones of the temple they worshipped. When they walked him past the pillars that held together the place of Philly-Steen worship Samsung threw off his chains, ran up to the pillars wrapped the unlocked chains around them and pulled them down in a feat of strength even Hercules couldn’t pull off.. The Temple collapsed killing all the Philly-Steens and crushed the entire city of Gaza. Samsung was now the hero of the Israelites who were free now and he was able to put them on the family plan with a new invention he had dreamed up in prison using two cups and a string. All that was left now was taking out his vengeance on Da-Liar.
The second Samsung learned that Da-Liar was dead the anger exited his heart. He couldn’t stay mad at his lover and even began to miss her. He paced through her bedroom remembering their intense love making nights and began to feel sad. He opened a bottle of bubbly and began talking to himself out loud. “Oh man, why did it have to be like this? Only two women I have ever loved and who could satisfy me and both gone. Da-Liar dead and God only knows where Semedar is.” Samsung thought he felt someone in the room when a familiar voice answered him. “I’m here Samsung. After you destroyed the Philly-Steens I was no longer banished an I’m back. Maybe we could start over where…….Wait! What the fuck did you do to your head Samsung?” Semedar walked over to the stunned Samsung and gently put her arms around him. He looked at Semedar and was very angry at first, when suddenly she slowly gyrated her hips into his and that six hour menace threatened to return. Like most men when teased in the right spot Samsung relented and began grinding back. “It’s a long story Semedar, it’ll grow back. Everything grows back.” Words were replaced with moans and groans and the two once again found comfort in each others arms. And legs. And mouths. And….use your imagination.
So things were back to abnormal, the Israelites were free, the promised land was given back (sort of), and Samsung and Semedar lived in coital bliss for the rest of their days. Promising to be honest and to never betray him again, Semedar changed her ways. Burt before making the promise she had one last deceptive gesture she had to attend, so she poured the bottle of opium pills she had replaced with Da-Liars sleeping pills down the toilet. No one would ever know. No one that is except her little sister, Cleopatra.