T’was the night before Festivus
When all through the house
No computer was working
Not even with the mouse

The stalkers were hung by their necks with such care
In the hopes that the end of their peeping was near
The children ate Nestles they,d snuck in their beds
And bounced off the walls banging their heads

Mom in her sexy teddy straddling my lap
Had just bound my hands with a Festivus strap
When down in the kids room there arose such a clatter
Got dressed and untied to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a flash
Dropped my baggie of weed losing my stash
It fell on the breast of the new fallen snow
I watched as my reefer was falling below

When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear
A hallucination of eight tiny reindeer
With a leprechaun in red so…