WTF is in my cart?
How does one change their culinary discipline from making killer sauces to top on exotic sautéed fish to baking sweet sugary cupcakes? Why from having the munchies of course. The change hit me like an epiphany on roller skates speeding down the snack aisle of a supermarket. Devil Dogs to my left, Little Debbie’s to my right, and mallow mars dead ahead. No iceberg in sight. Not a single healthy choice within ten feet. Not that it mattered, I had just finished a bowl of chronic and I had an unusually advanced case of munchy-itis! That maddening after effect of herbal induced euphoria that has one believing they haven’t eaten in a week. And worse, the antidote for the unbearable hunger pains lies only in sweets, not in health foods. I remember my Mom staring at me suspiciously when I came home at 1230AM with my foolish smile and vacant stare as I loaded up my bowl with cocoa puffs. Ironically, a cereal bowl after an evening filled with many bowls of blissful herb.
Of course she had good reason to suspect foul play, I was friggen stoned off my ass. When I finally moved out on my own it was completely different. Mostly because I never had any foods in the fridge. Well nothing that didn’t resemble a science project on mold growth anyway. So instead of being smart and shop the next morning to fill up the cupboards, I did what any self respecting stoner would. I went to A&P. The Ho-Ho’s were singing sweet melodies and the Ring Dings were ringing and rocking directly at me. Chips Ahoy jumped in my cart by themselves. Nothing of interest in produce, meats, or dairy. Wait!? I spoke to soon, there in the dairy section, amongst various types of % milks, half and half, whipping cream, and creamers at the most beautiful sight. Chocolate milk!!! Oh sweet heaven, milk made tasty. Where ever those chocolate cows live is where I want to move. But for now, IN THE CART! When I got to check out I watched as everything made its way down the conveyor, and it all looked great. The cashier looked at me and I knew she knew I was high, but then I feared everyone did, and she said, “74.23” WTF??? How could I spend that much on just crap foods? That my friends, was the epiphany.
That’s when I knew it was right to switch my area of cooking expertise from regular foods to sweet treats. And what better than cupcakes? So now, at the bakery I am “The Cupcake Dude.” Here where I use up my leftover creative juice I am “The Existential Baker”. Names are important. But more on that next time when I introduce my next new cupcake, “Sins Not Tragedies.”………………………PEACE
WTF is in my cart?