Death After Death, part 1

Sometimes you just need to treat yourself and splurge a little. That’s how I justified having that humongous double bacon cheeseburger and fries on that one fateful night. Holy guacamole it sure was delicious going down and man oh man did it make me feel good. All smiles and satisfaction on my face. Oh yea, beer, bacon, and burgers make everything on the outside feel all tingly and giddy. However, things on the inside where not quite as jovial. Unbeknownst to me there was an acidic uprising throughout the gastro battlefields. The war between the intestines was engaged and acids were flying around everywhere. An all out acid attack was underway which was bad enough, but even worse, in the cardio corner a shock and awe campaign was fully engaged. While the intestines battled it out they sent waves of nausea up through the esophagus in a campaign to create a reflux warning. Tossing and turning, tumbling and churning, the gastro intestinal system did its best to raise the threat level to red and wake me up. But the eight or so beer and the large glass of boxed wine had seen to it that nothing short of an absolute hydrogen explosion or an atomic disturbance would wake me from my comatose sleep. The battle ensued and intensified through the evening as much of the fat from the bacon, cheese, and hamburger had forced their way past the intestine walls and into the already weak liver. There it jumped on the hemoglobin bus and took the main artery directly to coronary quadrant. The bus let off exactly where the cholesterol had been preparing for its moment. Ah yes, the cholesterol, the bad kind of course, had been planning this for years, setting up roadblocks all along the arteries to prevent anything from passing through to reach the life center. If it can cut off all paths to the heart an prevent the flow of life giving liquids to blood pumping center the evil cholesterol will be declared the winner! The blood supply line was doing its best to bring its humanitarian supplies to the heart, but this huge bacon cheeseburger gave cholesterol just the proper blockage it needed to shut down its opponent forever. No blood flow and its just a matter of time. I guess I’m glad I was asleep at the time, but what follows death is what may interest you most. Here’s how it went down.
Something felt a little off that night. Not sure how to put it into words but I get to feeling lethargic at this time of night often, and usually attribute it to being tired from a long day of work. But there was something more to it tonight. I mean sure, the beer made me a bit woozy and sleepy, and the work its gonna take to digest that huge fucking bacon cheeseburger is taking a lot out of me, but still an unusual lethargy tonight. An almost sinister lethargy on this eve. That’s what made me think a few Zantac washed down with a tall cup of wine would take of the edge and then I could enjoy a serious chillax on the couch. “Never again!” How many times have I said that?
If I was still feeling weird the wine successfully masked the sensation. Done with the mind numbing exercise of staring at the glowing colored pixels shooting out from the TV screen and processing worthless information that is supposed to entertain me. Now I’m just flat out tired as shit and I need to get to bed. It would be the last time.
I woke from my sleep, or that is I thought I woke, but I wasn’t really awake. It was a surreal state. My eyesight was strained kinda like I was looking through the thick bottom of a coke bottle. Not so much blurry as if I was seeing ten dimensions and they overlapped causing an almost fractured view of the world. But what world? I mean like where the fuck am I? Think back JT, where was the last place you were? Oh my god a delicious bacon cheeseburger with a….Fucking A, a ton of cholesterol laden bricks fell on my head! I had a fucking heart attack! This is it! I’m dead. Now I’m gonna find out now what happens next right? Right??
I finally started to put it together. I’m dead as a doornail yet I can still think. Is this that phenomenon of life after death? I can see my body but I cant feel anything so why am I still thinking? What am I here for? I took stock of the room. The walls seemed almost oval and I am encased in water yet I’m breathing normal. Some kind of joke or something? I’m back in the womb? No, its not that, I’m not being reborn but I see a kind of tunnel to the right, and a stairwell to the left. Could this be my final decision? Was I completely wrong about God and all the mystery surrounding him or her? Am I stuck between heaven an hell? The tunnel like thing is sorta dark so that must be hell, and the stairwell is lit up at the top so that must be heaven. Okay JT, time to choose. One glance down the tunnel revealed absolutely nothing but darkness so the decision was pretty easy. Up the stairwell I go.
As I ascended the steps I couldn’t feel my feet. I didn’t so much walk as I did float up the steps slowly, one at a time. The tension was building up and I was anxious to see what was at the top. When I arrived there was a beautiful image looking at me and straight away I could somehow tell she knew everything about me. I knew instinctively that if I were going to plead my case this was the time and she was the person. Time to get pro-active.
“I made some pretty bad decisions, didn’t I?” She looked at me knowingly and shook her head. In the most soothing voice she said, “Yes JT, you have made some very poor choices which caused undue harm to people who did not deserve it. On the other hand you have helped out a great many of people as well.” Hope rose up in my throat like magma burning to escape. “That’s true, I did, I helped so many people in many ways. I know I made some mistakes but I did a lot of good too. Right?” I can’t be sure but I think I was breathing hard. If I was even breathing at all. She smiled and it lit her face up. I got a closer look. Her hair was light brown and hung around her face in slight curls. So thick an full her locks were billows of blustery clouds. Her face was perfectly round and beautiful. Somehow she looked like every girl and woman I have ever known. Slightly raised sleek forehead one moment, perfectly flat and silky smooth the next. Her face was absolutely wrinkle free and she had a nose that epitomized the button mushroom one second then jutted out regally the next. It was quite disconcerting and confusing. . By far the most intriguing and alluring part of her face were her eyes. I was peering directly into two mirrors aflame and with burning life. Her thin warm lips did not move so I assumed it were those reflective orbs that spoke directly to my soul. “You know JT, it had taken you many a year to learn the preciousness of life and you have been so very honorable to so many, yet you did not take much care of your own well being.” I knew she was right, I have a long history of various forms of self medication, I didn’t get check ups and tests as was suggested, I ate and drank many things I knew were not good for me, and overall took little care of the maintenance of my body outside of daily personal hygiene. “True that Ms. Spirit, I have put others ahead of myself but isn’t that a good thing? I mean, I care for many others and not taking care of myself was more or less a well deserved self punishment right? Those who have little give everything and take nothing, or something like that. I’m paraphrasing here but it is true, I forsook of myself so that others may benefit from my deeds.” I closed my eyes so she couldn’t see my fear, but of course she’s not human so I have no idea what she may be seeing. “That’s what we’re here to decide JT, whether or not your deeds and attributes outweigh your mistakes and earned you the right to hear the truth.” I looked right into those all seeing disks, “I have tried to make amends for all the stupid things I have done. I have given much of myself and here it is, the end. This I how it works? You choose who is worthy of going on and……and what happen to the rest, what is the fate if you decide they are unworthy? Are you God?”. Again the smile which by this time was actually beginning to piss me off with its condescending sneer. A belly laugh from this female god faker seemed almost evil and my mood was changing rapidly. Was she laughing at me? “It doesn’t matter who I am JT, and as for you the decision was made long ago by you. I’m not real because you created me JT, I am a sort of collage of lives that have been central to yours. Do you see your mother in me? I know you do, they all do.” Now anger was rapidly being replaced by confusion. What the hell does she want from me? I created her, are you fucking serious? But here it was, an image I apparently conjured up from people I love or loved and it’s already been decided what my fate will be.
“So what happens now?” My spidey senses were tingling, or I think they were, not really sure of anything anymore. “Now its time for you to go see the creator.” She said it so matter of fact and non chalant. Her words hung around like a morning mist lingering the mountaintops waiting for the sun burn away the fog. I hoped she was preparing to shine a clearing light of knowledge. But the words themselves betrayed and threatened all my beliefs. Thoughts swirling in a vortex of confusion I uttered the most appropriate response I could muster with what little strength I had. “ You mean God?” I just stared at the woman I had begun to think might be God and she smiled that so familiar smile that seemed to warm my soul and put me at ease. I couldn’t move or talk, could only observe. “Relax JT, its nothing to be alarmed of. There is no one God as you have been taught. You are God, and I am God. Trees and bees and lions and tigers and bears are God. Everything you have ever loved is God. You are not meeting God you are going to see the truth. The creator has the truth JT, and the truth has been waiting for you. It’s time for you to meet the creator. Go to the bottom of the staircase.”

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