Tag: sex

Transcendental Medication V..(Out of the black, and into the blue)

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altered

Previously on Transcendental Medication :
The smile on my face was so enormous my jawbone ached and my eyes were nearly closed. Ambrosina began gently shaking my shoulder apparently ready to go one more time but I was spent. I looked up saying, ”Sorry babe I just could….oh, Dr. Kha, its you! ” God damn its confusing slipping in an out of realities here! Dr, Kha stood over me with a smirk, “I see you make visit to paradise JT

Tomorrow put you in sensory depravation tank with special punctures dipped in mixture of essences from Belladonna, Angel Trumpet, and Nutmeg Paste. Essence free mind and allow to see without eyes. Transcendental medication. Ownry then JT will you see truth, opposite universe, and maybe even understand nothing. Get some rest my boy, tomorrow is day you meet God face to face.”

Out Of The Black And Into The Blue

Meet God face to face! Well this is gonna be pretty interesting considering I can’t remember having ever believed in God. Oh there was a time, but only because it was what my Mom told me to believe and I trusted her implicitly. Why would she lie about God? But around age six or seven my best friend and his family died in a house fire two days after his birthday party. Mom told me my friend was up in heaven now where he’ll be safe. I asked why God wanted the family an why he made their house go on fire and all she could tell me was that God had a plan and we shouldn’t question him, but I wasn’t buying that bullshit. I started having my doubts about this God character and his so called plan so I made up ways for him to prove himself to me. Instead of “now I lay me down to sleep” I engaged in conversations with God. Only they weren’t dialogues, they were monologues, night after night. I only asked for small signs, not giant challenges, no plagues or forty day storms. Something simple like make my covers fall off or leave a scratch on the wall. I never asked him to beat up my older brother or return my best friend and his family back to life or anything profound, just you know like leave a light on, move a book or something. But night after night, no signs, no answers. Mom took me to church on Sundays and even at that young age I could see it was filled with hypocrites singing and praying. Old man Martin who was perpetually drunk in his backyard all dressed up in suit and tie singing, hands folded. Old lady Brown kneeling on the pew. In whispers the adults called her a Jezebel. I didn’t know what that meant at the time but by the way the adults showed distain I knew it wasn’t a good thing. Years later I learned kneeling was a common occurrence for her but apparently if it was on the pews on Sundays that made everything okay. By the time I turned eleven I was already a full fledged atheist but I continued my religious schooling to appease Mom. I was even so fascinated or maybe hopeful I studied other religions as I got older. I learned more about God by more names than I thought possible and became more sure than ever that God doesn’t exist. At least not the God I’d been taught. And now after all that I’m meeting God face to face tomorrow! At least according to Dr. Khandra.
I was nervously excited as I entered the THC clinic. A nurse led me down into the basement and laid me down on a cot that was chained to a sort of crane with chains and pulleys. Like a harsh torture hammock. I looked up with a quick glimpse believing the nurse to be Ambrosina. She smiled at me, winked saying, “Later JT. I’ll see you later.” Before I could even answer Kha came in with a small silver table filled with needles and a bowl of syrupy liquid. “Must be excited JT, yes? First I dip pricks in essence, place them at precise point and then close you in tank. No incense, no music today, ownry serenity. When ready we let you free from tank and journey begin. Relax and enjoy enlightenment my son.” I laid there motionless, a combination of anxiety and excitement as Kha placed the dripping needles about my body. This time the needles were warm and wet. Six on my forehead, two in each ear, two in my neck, and at least a dozen in each leg. I could feel the essences making they’re way into my blood and it warmed my veins. Instantly relaxed the anxiety faded away leaving only a smile. I felt comfort with the feeling because it wasn’t foreign, it was like the old days just before the LSD kicked in. I was about to start tripping like I had in my drug experimentation days and it warmed my soul.
It took a while to get used to the absence of sound or sight. Total darkness with no sound at all, feeling a bit claustrophobic I was anxious, confined, and alone. I thought perhaps this is a big waste of time. I was angry I was allowing this to happen to me, if there was a way I could get out. I called to Kha a number of times but he didn’t respond. I was alone, first angry now depressed. Total darkness. Alone with nothing but an irritating voice in my head insisting I was missing some major point about nothingness. My head was swirling with thoughts or maybe dreams of all sorts of shit, memories from way long ago, places I have been to, totally random things. I think I had some very bizarre dreams I’m not sure what’s a dream or what is a thought? From surreal to harsh reality it was one episode after another. The dream or thoughts seemed to float, moving as though filled with helium, the further they went away the calmer I got. After about…wait, that’s odd. I have no idea how long it’s been. I have no idea what time it was or how long I’d even been alone here in the dark. Had I fallen asleep? Has time stopped for me? As I pondered claustrophobia and panic subsided, sliding into acceptance. Everything is serene, calm, and quiet. Existence is not as special or amazing as I thought. Oh I’ll give you the complexity of being a living breathing thing is quite extraordinary, what with networks of communication inside me traveling at mind bending speed, blood, oxygen, even the way I need to eat and void unnecessary remnants from food is amazing. And evolution, well what is evolution other than strategy of survival? But the FACT that I or anything exists here, right here right now on this seemingly huge planet is so remarkably insignificant when I think about it in Universal terms.
Super Nova’s, Black Holes, Quasars, and galaxies, those are amazing. Time and space being curved or the possibility of alternate universes, that’s amazing. I’m nothing, just a teeny weenie blip of nothingness in time and space. I giggled as I watched that thought float away when I thought I heard a voice. “Now you are understanding nothing JT, ready to see alternate reality.” It was Kha’s voice but how? Must be a camera or some sort of electronic monitoring he used. “No use camera, no use device JT, ownry listen to you.” Wait! What did he say? Listening to me? But I’m not talking I’m only thinking. “Not thinking JT, talking. Not words or out loud but still talking. And we hear you. You are ready to come out now.”
The pulley’s lifted the makeshift cot upwards as the top opened brining me not into an office but in a clearing in a mountain wilderness blistering with life and color. Oh my God the color were o deep an rich, so real. I was inside a crayola colored landscape beside a stream. Dr, Kha was there along with two other strangers. “Come sit down with us JT, we share herb of life… You come to me asking why there is something instead of nothing, yes? I ask you now, why cannot be something and nothing?” I asked him who the two men were and he told me they would lead me to God after I finished my lessons. He handed me a long pipe which I took readily inhaling almost instantly. The smoke had a minty smoke flavor and was not in the smallest way irritating. I held it in like it was pot until it exploded inside my head. Actually exploed. My head must have grown ten inches. Images where fractured as if they were photos layered on top of each other and superimposed. I tried to stand up but instead floated, or better hovered effortlessly as the three men laughed. “I don’t see what’s so funny, everything is out of focus. Motion, Time, sound, even life is out of focus.” The men continued laughing until Kha pointed to me, “Seem you forget pants JT. You come ownry in underwear. You are right everything out of focus. That how world really is. You see on quantum level now, you move with quantum motion and see with quantum eyes. You think unreal but exact opposite. Everything around you in constant motion JT, but your non quantum eyes cannot perceive. That why most people can never see God. I believe if most people really were able to see God they be scared, not elated. You see realities now JT, in your normal world nothing really what it seem to be. You are going on journey most people cannot handle, that what Transcendental Medication do my son, it open your mind and eyes to realities clouded by limitation of human perceptions. Dreams are real perceptions JT, ownry seem too abstract to you to be real. You not have pants on because it dream that haunt you as child. That’s from the drugs. The medication will help you confront many uncomfortable dreams you have had but also some very good dreams. And dreams you have not had yet. A new era of perceptions waits for you JT, you were chosen for this journey. Your two guides are messengers of God and I am your handler. The three of us will lead you on journey of everything , something, nothing, and true God after you visit Ambrosina for lesson on desire and power. Go to her, she waits for you and you must first understand yourself before you can know nothing.” Kha smiled at me like a teacher, or a father maybe, “Take your boat.” I looked at the stream which had my little row boat from my previous visit tied to a tree. “Just get in boat JT, and follow river. You will know when to…. get off…Ha ha ha. Then when you come back we discuss your perceptions” What an odd sense of humor, an old man like Kha using a sexual double entendre about “getting off” I thought to myself as I got in the boat. Dr. Kha untied the rowboat setting me free, “Not as old as you think, but much older as well JT.” I heard all three men laughing as the boat headed to wherever the current took it. How the fuck could he hear my thoughts? I’d better be careful what I think.
The ride didn’t take very long because I could see a woman in the distance waiting on shore. I wished the boat over to her and it went of its own accord. When I got out I was back in the island paradise where Ambrosina had so totally controlled and dominated me bringing me to the most incredible orgasm of my life. I exited the boat with profound anticipation and walked up to the woman waiting. I knew I was looking at Ambrosina but she appeared so different. Her hair tied in a ponytail wearing very little make up. She was dressed casual yet somehow stern. A beige corduroy button down dress with matching skirt. In place of the sexy shoes were low heeled casual loafers. Sensible shoes! She appeared demure and intimidated as she walked up to me, placed her mouth right at my ear an whispered, “If you want me you have to take me tonight. You have to want me bad enough to force me.” As she walked away I watched her ass bounce lightly back and forth giving me a semi erection. Despite the changes I wanted her in the worst way. The lust built up inside my loins and I knew I would do whatever I had to in order to make love to Ambrosina again. But how to start, I’ve never forced anyone before, that’s rape! Ambrosina turned around looked at me with her incredible sensuous eyes. I glanced down at her lips as she mouthed, “I’m ready JT, come take me. I’m here to service you.” I knew I had the power to ravage her and it felt invigorating. My semi erection began growing.
TBC

Sinner Ella, beneath the silver slipper

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ella

A Sick Bastards Fairly True Fairy Tale
J.T. Hilltop

What’s the deal with the story of a young chick who is tossed into servitude to her jealous step sisters and overbearing step Mom who magically transforms a pumpkin into a coach and herself into a diva to seduce a rich prince, then fleeing when time catches up with her. Not only that, she happens to leave behind a slipper luring the prince into a kingdom wide search for the fantasy woman’s foot who will fill that slipper. Lost slipper? Please! More like some Jimmy Choo”s Come hump me pumps she wore to entice Princey boy. Prince have a shoe fetish maybe? What kind of trickery is used to make mice look like horses? Who is this Fairy Godmother and why did the repo-man show up at midnight? Only the sick bastard can answer these poignant questions so here is JT Hilltops version of events from his “Sick Bastards Fairly True Fairy Tales.” I’m here to unravel the salacious subplot and reveal the half truths of this sacred story. Salacious indeed, the true tale, or should I say tail, has what it takes to rise up beyond your horny expectations. I hope to make it stand up in court and render an explosive climactic verdict. Open wide!

There’s many versions of this sordid tale but the most well known and accepted by far is the version told by our old pal and inspiration behind theme parkery Walter Disney. So that can only mean its true ergo that’s where the sick bastard will begin to take the treasured tale and twist it into a warped shell of itself. This isn’t the fairy tale your mama read you at bedtime, this is the story of the not so innocent Sinner Ella, the shapely and strikingly beautiful high heeled seductress with a secret helper and a gift of satisfying the most voracious sexual appetite that give her a much needed advantage …With a Wham Bam Whatta Slam Bibbitty Bobbity Bada Bing Bada Boo!

Once upon a bunch of thyme the 21 year old gorgeous Ella Fuchs was a good cook and sandwich maker who understood the value of a well placed sexual favor. In and out of church she was known as Sinner Ella and her list of sexual accomplishments earned her the coveted “Peoples Choice of Jumbo Golden Globes Award.” Her home movies, be they consensually filmed or secretly filmed received an XXX rating. She used her sensual piercing cobalt eyes and thick alluring lips to render her an advantage with just about everyone. Just about. Her sexual antics seldom worked at the home in which she lived with her frigid old step-mother, Lady Tremaine and her two step sisters Drizzle and Anna Sthesia who could best be described as…..well, homely. They were jealous of Sinner Ella because as a child the pretty Ella had won Bare Naked Toddlers and Tiara’s one year and was headed for fame and fortune in the erotic film industry. That is until her Mom, Clover Honeybear Boobaleeboo passed away leaving her alone with her father. The old boy didn’t trust himself around his sensuous daughter so he married Lady T. to help raise her and prevent him from a life of incestuous scandal. One night he went out for a pack of cigarettes and never returned. Poor Ella was forced to live a subservient lifestyle to the step sisters and step Mom. Sinner Ella prayed that one day someone rich would come by so she could use her oral wiles on him to get him to take her away. It was a sad situation but Sinner was sure that she could lick the problem.

Lady Tremaine was concerned about the competition Ella would give her own daughters so she destroyed all of Ella’s sexy gowns and threw away all her shoes. All except the one pair that Ella had hidden away, her no fail Jimmy Choo come and get me pumps with the spike heel and ankle straps. Sinner had seduced many a man and a half dozen women using her hump inducing pumps and she knew some day they would once again tickle the libido of someone who could free her from her circumstance. Some day!

“Ella you slut make us something to eat and don’t forget to feed Lucifer.” Drizzle seemed to enjoy ordering her slave girl around but Anne Sthesia was a tad more nice, knowing that Ella had a skillful tongue. Anna called from the bathroom, “Sinner, I need a towel to dry off.” Ella knew what that meant, it was more like a moistening up than a drying off. She put some chicken in the oven, fed the cat Lucifer, then headed up to the bathroom with a load of clean and folded towels. “Put the towels down and come lick me.” Anna was sitting on the edge of the tub so Ella put the towels in the cupboard and knelt down between Anna’s knees. She gently rubbed the inside of Anna’s soft white thighs. She hadn’t even been in the shower yet. Ella traced large circles around Anna’s thighs using her soft carnal touch making Anna breath hard before bending her head forward to allow her tongue to go to work, hungrily lapping Anna’s vajayjay paying extreme attention to her clitoris. Ella knew exactly where to touch Anna who was gyrating her hips around Ella’s long curly blond hair letting out a soft “Ohhhh my” Ella’s instincts took over and she expertly plied her tongue in and out of Anna vigorously as Anna’s moans got louder and louder until she climaxed. “Oh my God Anna, come bathe with me.” The two set in the warm water as Ella tenderly washed every inch of Anna’s body with soap as well as tongue. No sooner had she finished bathing her when Drizzle’s voice screeched out, “Maaaaa. They’re doing it again and she’s gonna burn lunch!”

Sinner Ella quickly jumped up from the tub, dried off and ran down to the kitchen where Lady T was waiting, face all scrunched up in a scowl. “God damn you little bitch you’ll be the death of us all. Keep your slutty girlie sex shit to yourself you dyke and finish cleaning up this house. I’m taking the girls shopping to get gowns for the Princes Ball on Saturday. You make sure all the chores are done and maybe I’ll let you go too.” Ella smiled to herself dreaming that she could dance with anyone let alone a Prince, but she also doubted it would ever happen. Nothing good ever happened to Ella since her father abandoned her. She worried the only dancing she would ever be involved in was pole dancing or lap dancing at the “Daddy Issues Naked Titty Bar” in town. She obeyed finishing the chicken lunch and served it to the three bitches that were ruining her life. After lunch Lady T took them out shopping while Sinner Ella alone in the house danced with a broom pretending it was a man. She then used that man to sweep up all the floors, plus she cleaned the dishes and straightened out the living room. She looked over at the three piles of dirty clothes thinking her chores would never end.

While scrubbing the kitchen floor Ella heard the three shopping ladies come home all excited. “Come Sinner Ella, come see what we got for the Princes ball.” Drizzle held up a spectacular Ann Tyler Blue sequined full length gown with a long slit up the thigh. “Ewww Mommie, I like! I bet that Prince will want to do me right there on the dance floor.” She then opened a shoe box, “Especially when he see’s my sexy self in these black leather Prada’s here.” Sinners heart sunk, the shoes were remarkable. Patent leather Saffiano pumps in Nero black with two and a half inch heels. A shiny pointed toe shoe that would reveal just the right amount of toe cleavage. Sexy yet sensible they were quite hot, but still nothing compared to Ella’s erection enticing Jimmy Choo’s. If only she could wear them to the ball and dance with the Prince. If only! Then Anna held up her gown, a fiery red Jovani full length sleeveless V neck sure to highlight her more than ample cleavage. She would surely look super sexy in that number, but worse, on top of that she would be wearing silver Manolo Blahnik’s with open toe and jeweled bows. With nearly four inch heels they came pretty close to Ella’ shoes. “Ewwww, I’m gonna look hot. The hell with the Prince, I want to do the Princes sister.” Lady T slapped her daughter, “You better get that lesbian shit out of your head right now. That’s for little trampy cunts like Ella! Get to church tomorrow and pray away the gay!” At first Anna objected, “But Mommy dearest,” then thinking the better of it just said, “You’re right Mommy, I’ll go to church.” But the telling glance she gave Ella let them all know that church or no church no gay was gonna
be getting prayed away . She is what she is.

Still believing her Dad would one day return it surprised Ella when Lady T showed off her newly bought wardrobe as well. Lady T held up a sexy black appliqué cocktail ball dress that would reveal almost all of her legs leaving very little to the imagination. Spaghetti straps would allow most of her smooth skinned back and breast to show freely and the sheer full length see through lace bottom made it one of the sexiest dresses Ella had ever seen. But the killer was when she pulled out a pair of shoes from the shoebox. Coal black Ostrich teazers with six inch spike heels with zipper up and straps to criss cross up her calves. Ella was stunned, shoes that rivaled her very own hump me pumps. Sinner Ella hid the tears that were sneaking down her cheeks and left to her room as Lady T bragged, “You ladies may have youth on your side but I’m gonna fuck that Prince’s brains and wallet right into the castle with this number. I’ll have that young stud screaming my name from between my thighs begging for more. I’ll show you how to bring the sexy girls, just you watch your cougar Mom tie a leash around his royal shlong! Get ready for a new Daddy girls, Mama T is brining sexy back!”

Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion of Sinner Ella

Transcendental Medication, episode IV

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ambosina

Warning sexually graphic and explicit material. Seriously, if you can’t handle it blatantly erotic then…… I’d turn back if I were you

Previously on TM

I jumped in and rowed like a maniacal teen about to lose his virginity towards whatever waited for me across the pond. When I got there the other side it was even more amazing than I thought possible.

Not a nurse, not a dominatrix, not even an exotic island native woman, but that gorgeous hazel eyed enticing beautiful woman from my first visit dressed as if for a date “I’m so glad you chose to come back JT, I am Ambrosina. I’ve been waiting for you. Come to me.”

IV Waking the Seed
J.T. Hilltop

My entire body trembled in anticipation. I felt my groin throbbing, blood coursing through every fiber. She had let her coal black hair down and it flowed effortlessly over her bare shoulders and milky white arms. Ambrosina allowed an inch and a half of cleavage escape the partially unbuttoned bright red shirt that competed with enticing red lips. The competition didn’t end there as a very short silky black skirt barely covered her long muscular legs that exposed just enough bone structure. Bare legged with high spiked heel super sexy strappy shoes attesting to the fact that he was perfect from head to toe. Everything about her screamed “Come Fuck Me” I stuttered, “A-A Ambrosina? Hi, I’m, I mean, well you know me, and I think, I mean I would love to get to know you. You, you’re a, you’re so very, um, so very” Ambrosina cut me off allowing me an escape from my awkwardness. “Hot JT? Come on, you can do better than that. I know what you’re here for and I’m here ready to give it to you so why not come on over here and get it? Then we can get acquainted.”
Full scale trembling now, awkward an understatement. I proceeded towards her and she opened her arms inviting me to come close to her. My eyes were drawn instantly to her smooth round breasts reaching out of her blouse. When we embraced I had already reached the point of full erection and it was not unnoticed. Ambrosina smiled and gently grinded her hips so delicately and sensuously I was afraid I might let it go in an instant but instead I grinded back just as sensuously surprising myself. Her full red lips parted allowing an “ohhhh” to sneak out. My mouth made its way directly to hers as we clenched each others mouths in passionate desperation allowing our tongues to writhe together hungrily. We exchanged mmmmm’s an ahhhh’s, words being an afterthought. My left hand went up under her blouse and found its way to her supple soft breast. So perfectly round and smooth I massaged it gently squeezing an erect nipple in my fingers. I bent my knee and gently rubbed my thigh between her legs extracting the response I hoped for. With my right hand I unbuttoned what was left of her blouse, removed it completely and gave both of her perfect breasts my undivided attention. I gently squeezed her large an erect nipples and she responded in a purring sound her hand encompassing my penis through my pants. Very gently she traced her long nails up and down my cock sending me into near shock ecstasy. “Oh my JT, seems something here is ready, why don’t you take off you clothes and let me show you what you want?”
Fully naked I laid down on a soft bed of sand and Ambrosina stood over me straddling my hips still in heels and skirt. She squatted down over me barely touching my erection with soft pubic hairs. No panties, oh my god could this get any better. She knelt over me holing my erect penis between her fingers and passionately kissed me. “Are you going to get undressed too?” She threw her skirt off, put her full lips up to my ear and whispered softly, “Everything but the heels honey, the shoes stay on. I want you to feel my shoes on your face when you fuck me.” I think I gulped loudly but I was slightly dizzy. She had let go of my dick so she could kiss my chest working her way down my stomach. Once she got to my crotch she regained hand control of me and kissed the head of my throbbing erection. “I want to hear you beg me JT, I want to hear you plead for me to fuck you.” her mouth covered the tip of my dick ever so slowly began to descend. About a quarter of the way down she stopped ,swirling her tongue all over the head. Up an down halfway softly slurping and humming Uh huh uh huh bringing me perilously close to cumming. I blurted it out, “Please fuck me Ambrosina” but she stopped sucking, looked at me teasingly with those magnificent hazel eyes simply saying, “not yet baby, not yet.” She straddled my head squeezing it with thick hard thigh muscle then plunged a damp pussy to my lips. Instantly my tongue explored as deeply as possible and I reached one hand around her ass and with the other tried to rub her clitoris. “Make me cum JT, I want to cum on your lips.” She gyrated her pussy in circles around my greedy mouth while I feverishly shoved my tongue in and out of her all the time rubbing her clitoris. She let me know how effective I was, “Oh god baby yes, yes yes yes, don’t stop, don’t stop” getting louder and more desperate by the second. I obliged with my tongue and finger working her to a screaming orgasm. Her hips shook my face dripping warm love juice all over my mouth.
The two of us now panting and breathless were not close to being done. Ambrosina returned the attention of her lips to my still throbbing dick this time engulfing it fully. She removed her mouth and stroked me gently with the perfect amount of tease to keep me hungry but not allowing me to come. She got on top of me and again straddled my groin with her hips, inserting the tip of my rod into her dripping wet pussy. She moved up and down slow and deliberate allowing just an inch of me inside her. I had no idea what was keeping me from exploding semen into Ambrosina but she had somehow held me off. “You want me to fuck you all the way baby? Or maybe I’ll just fuck the tip?” Ambrosina bounced lightly up and down allowing just the tip of my manhood inside. Her eyes sparkled with pleasure as I squirmed attempting to thrust deep upwards, “All the way babe, all the way. Fuck me Ambrosina, please fuck me.” She stopped moving up and down and wriggled teasingly, “Not yet hon, a little more playing.” She continued moving up and down my pulsating cock and I tried desperately to thrust deep up into her. She reached around cupping my balls. I was ready to explode when she squeezed them tightly and came to an abrupt stop. She wriggled her groin into mine and I began begging, “please Ambrosina, please, whatever you want, I’ll be whatever you want, I’ll do whatever you want, just please let me cum inside you. I need you so badly, please!” She smiled got up off of me and came up to kiss me. I have never kissed anyone with so much desperation and abandon before. We embraced rolling around until she was beneath me with her long legs spread. “Come fuck me JT. I want you to fuck me.” I got on top of her, with a smooth hand she guided my cock inside her. I began pumping feverishly wanting to explode myself deep into her sweet love button but she placed her hands on my hips. “Long and slow honey, fuck me long and slow. I want to feel every inch of your big dick inside me.” As I was told I pumped slowly letting the entire length of my cock go slowly. I felt her muscles tighten around my member as I slowly allowed it inside her feeling our pubic hairs entwine. Then slowly back out all the way to the tip again. I penetrated her about ten times more like this, feeling every stroke, every nuance of love before I could wait no longer. She stretched her legs upwards her feet and sexy shoes squeezing my ears gently touching my forehead with her toes. “Kiss my toes and fuck me hard.” Again I did as I was told fucking her hard and sucking her toes as her heels dug lightly into my cheeks. I kissed the leather pumps and unbuckled the ankle straps. I couldn’t hold back anymore, paying so much tender attention to her feet had pushed me over the edge. I felt my sperm explode from my toes all the way through my body filling her with what felt like a quart of love juice, all the time still kissing and licking her toes and foot arches as she squealed with delight. I could feel her cumming again too and although drained I continued in and out of her for another two minutes before I collapsed.
“JT that was amazing, you did a fantastic job. You‘re almost done.” That was all we spoke as we both tried desperately to catch our breath. My chest heaved for ten minutes before I regained any inkling of composure. Ambrosina lay her head on my chest with her arm across my shoulder and life was unbelievably good. Twenty minutes passed when I felt her moving down towards my spent dick. She took me in her mouth brining me back to life expertly. We went at it again with her making the same requests, making me beg, this time kissing and stroking her bare feet and taking total control of me. I obeyed happily. She smiled at me then told me our next lesson would be the opposite.
I wasn’t sure what she meant but I was willing to find out as I lay in the sand totally exhausted, happy, and satisfied beyond belief. The smile on my face was so enormous my jawbone ached and my eyes were nearly closed. Ambrosina began gently shaking my shoulder apparently ready to go one more time but I was spent. I looked up saying, ?”Sorry babe I just could….oh, Dr. Kha, its you! ” God damn its confusing slipping in an out of realities here! Dr, Kha stood over me with a smirk, “I see you make visit to paradise JT. Must be careful not to get too wrapped up in desires, make you feel good but also cloud judgment. But she teach you secret of desire not me, I teach you everything about nothing. If you want see opposite universe it take much more than acupuncture, incense, and meditation, you needa transcendental medication. Tomorrow put you in sensory depravation tank with special punctures dipped in mixture of essences from Belladonna, Angel Trumpet, and Nutmeg Paste. Essence free mind and allow to see without eyes. Transcendental medication. Ownry then JT will you see truth, opposite universe, and maybe even understand nothing. Get some rest my boy, tomorrow is day you meet God face to face.”
TBC

Sexual In Your Window

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sexendo

“Dad, what does sexual in your window mean?” Not a question I was prepared to answer my four year old because part of me wanted nothing to do with a conversation involving sexual innuendo with my daughter and the other part, that premature, I mean immature part of me wanted to make a joke about sex, stalking, and peeping Toms. But the question was asked and I had to attempt to explain it. Other questions followed as she grew up like the one that nearly caused me to drive off the road after she inquired what “Dad, what does eff you” mean? She even lifted her middle finger to extenuate the inquiry on our way to kindergarten. Or the time a few years later when she wanted to know why everyone was mad at President Clinton for doing oral sex with Lewis Insky. That one took some serious thinking because it was on the news hourly. Anyway, here’s how NOT to explain sexual innuendo to a child.

Sexual innuendo, double entendres or just sex puns. The more you play with it the bigger it gets so think long and hard before entering. Once you rise to the occasion you can go deeper and deeper into it. I try not to use sexual innuendos much because using them incorrectly can make you go down, and then its not easy to get it up again. Just about anything you pull out of your vocabulary can hint at one sexual practice or another. Something as normal as wood becomes a solid morning image and if its not standing tall its hard to beat. We use wood to erect structures and if a woman is looking for it you can give her the lumber and she’ll crack a smile. It can get downright indecent which is to say is if its long enough, hard enough, and deep enough, its in decent.
Maybe its because we have so many nicknames for our sex organs. Penis, dick, prick, cock, wiener, boner, and these are just some the ones that can be ‘slipped in’ a normal conversation. I grabbed the thorn bush and pricked myself. If I fold it over I will be half cocked. I like my wiener on nice soft buns and so do my buddy’s Dick Hertz and Hugh Jerkoff. On one hand you could have the member and in the other the shaft, its stiff competition between the two. Its easy to make a boner.
The vajay jay is no different. Vagina, pussy, snatch, twat, slit, box. The pussy cat slit the box with her claw to snatch the magic prize. The lady garden cream pie has been compared to a beaver, kitty, love pie, love tunnel, and a poon whatever the hell that is. The nether regions get explored with a cave dwelling love stick in search of a happy humping with an exciting climax. With so many slang terms for the various sex acts and the tools used to perform them its near impossible not to cum across an innuendo.
Basically I try not to give a bang to innuendos because on the hole they take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’ but they often slip out and you could get screwed in the end. I can’t put my finger on it but most of us have our minds in the gutter and like it there. A man and woman like to get something straight between them and they can do that by acting on whatever pops up.

Sex is in our face all the time sometime even sitting on it. We use sexual sport analogies, I got to second base then went in for the score. My bat was raised and her glove was open. Touchdown! In food, what she needs is a hot beef injection, maybe I should give her my sausage. I’m so hungry I could eat at the “Y”, maybe have a bearded clam or fur lined taco. Automotive, give her a lube job with my dipstick, that’ll grease my nuts. We are constantly pre-occupied with sex. Even the technical explanation of why we laugh at sex jokes is suggestive. What comes off our tongues is processed in our pre frontal cortex and the laugh cums in and out of the temporal lobe. We love getting it on and from what I hear men think about doing it every sex seconds while it takes a women sixty nine. No wonder everything we hear can relate back to sex.

A common vulgar sexual term is fuck. Popular misconception is it came from Fornication Under Consent of King, or Forced Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, and while an entertaining bit of trivia the truth is it a derivative of some dudes name, John Fukker. But that doesn’t stop us from fucking an sucking our way into a multitude of sneaky ways to get it in a conversation. Getting laid, the old in and out, screwing, humping, banging, poking, shagging, or other acts like going down on, sucking off, polishing the helmet, giving head, eating out, jacking off, and on an on. There must be fifty ways to fuck your lover. We love double in tenders and in your endo’s.
So I will try to keep you abreast of innuendos and entendres without making you feel the boob. I usually put out on the first date because I’m loose. I prefer it tight but I’ll take it anyway I can get it. It will help me if you respond to my explorations because I do have a big ego but I prefer to not stroke my own. I like having it stroked for me. If you’re up for it we can enter a discussion but I suck at them and I get licked in debates. Then I end up with it all over my face. Hope I laid it out for you in a way will stand up in court……..Piece, I mean PEACE

I Really Dig The Big Wheels Can I Take It Out For A Testosterone Drive?

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monster-truck

An Average Joe May Be Above Average
“Check out how much power this bad boy has.” I think that’s what the truck salesman was screaming over the obnoxious babbling engine but it may have been distorted. When the roar took short break I queried, “Do you have anything a little less phallic and a bit more practical?” I was looking to buy a small truck, not make a statement of overcompensation but this salesman was bent on selling this huge truck with huge wheel and a huge roar that screamed ’don’t look at my small bulge but check out this monster extension of my inadequacy.”
OK really, what’s up with that? Are women in general turned on by loud greasy engines? I mean I’m not a ten inch stud or the owner of a powerful crank case of grinding gears but I have sufficient equipment and what’s more important I know how to use that equipment to get the most out of it. I think back on how idiotic our high school days were, and how we believed we could compensate for our awkwardness of dating by playing a guitar, or driving a muscle car, or something else that formulated a false sense of manhood. But I couldn’t carry a note, couldn’t play an instrument, was uninterested in sports, and lacked self confidence. But I did have a job in a restaurant so at least I had some money, plus I was learning to cook.
My ever helpful Mom suggested I take Home Economics where I could hone my culinary attributes. But back then a class in Home Ec only assured a male of a daily ass kicking and constant public humiliation. I gave it two seconds of thought after Mom assured me I would be in a class full of females. But I had done that by taking typing last year without achieving any carnally enhancing benefits. I made many suggestions to the young maidens but the girls were only interested in my carriage release or ribbon spool, not my nimble typing technique. I didn’t become adept at typing or even get a phone number from that class. Although I admit it was my favorite class and being one of only three guys it was uplifting to garner the attention I so craved.
So I didn’t go to Home Ec, but I did continue to learn to cook at the restaurant while the chicks were all dating the guys in rock bands, the guys with GTO’s, or the football team (No, not the whole team pervert). So those artificially enhanced materialistic dudes all fought over the plastic popular chicks while us average Joes dated the average Jill’s, which in the long run was better anyway.
The funny thing about the football stars, muscle heads, hot car owners, and wannabe rock stars is when they got into the thirty something’s that’s all they really had. I on the other hand could cook and when I reached my thirties that was what the ladies found sexy. Keep your monster truck dude, I am serving sautéed Chilean Sea Bass with a Beaujolais saffron sauce, asparagus macadamia, and Pomes Anna with a perfectly chilled Gewürztraminer wine and the ladies who enjoyed that were intelligent, sophisticated, and beautiful with very little interest in the size of my pick up or biceps. So who’s chuckling now?
I had a small studio apartment in New York City near Madison Square Garden and one of the intricacies of my crib, I mean aside from having my bed right there in my kitchen/dining room, was a nice view for people watching. On one particular evening as I was entertaining, my date and I watched as people who had parked their car near by headed out to The Garden to attend a Monster Truck Rally. We watched and it took all my self control not to point at some overweight, sloppy looking thirty something’s on a mission to get inside, and I can’t be 100% sure but I think one dude with a bad haircut and beer belly that would make Buddha cringe was the star quarterback of my high school. Walking alongside him no longer cheering, was his high school sweetheart. I couldn’t help thinking how much they deserved each other both now and back in the day.
I asked the salesman to shut off the engine so he could hear me good when I said no thanks. I decided I didn’t even want the stupid truck at all because it just isn’t me, and being myself was better revenge than I could possibly have planned even if I had wanted to. Now every time I see someone in a pick up with wheels better off on a tractor with spikes on the rims, or a ridiculously oversize Hummer style vehicle, or any other car designed to take attention away from the owners “short comings” and place the focus on their ride I smile and give them the thumbs up, because they need more reassuring than an average Joe like me.

I Know Where She’s Going, She’s Headed For The Cheating Side Of Town

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This is a very serious and sad excerpt of a story written from a normally humorous POV. It’s a peek into a portion of the dark side of JT’s life or it may just be a distorted reflection from your own mirror
You’re Cheatin’ Heart
Kayla was sound asleep and on any other night I would have been asleep too knowing Tina would come home after she was done with her shift. First maybe have a drink or two before coming home. I worked in many a restaurant and having a few “pops” after service was common. But this wasn’t any other night. This was the night I was confronting Tina. The green eyed monster was surely one of my less positive traits and has arrived too often under false pretenses, but I had been relatively certain she had been cheating on me No false pretenses this time though because tonight I have hard evidence. Her best friend and normal excuse for being late called earlier looking for Tina. Not much by itself but on the counter sat a receipt signed by her for a room at The Millers Grove Motor Inn. Of all places it had to be a motel bursting with happy memories of intense sexual excursions we had under the ceiling mirrors and on vibrating beds. I laid in wait in the darkness feeling my anger percolate. When I heard her car pull up a rush of adrenaline churned in my gut then gathered in my head. I was shaking. This was it!
The second she walked through the door my fears were confirmed. Her face bore an all telling freshly satisfied smile. The kind of smile I remembered seeing so often after our nights at the motel before we were married. It cut deep into my heart and made it hard to breath. Here it goes. “So where ya been babe?” Tina was startled, caught off guard not expecting me to be awake. I could feel the nervousness in her lie. “Oh, Joanne and I stopped of for a drink and it turned into 4 or five. We had some late customers and Jo and Jacob are having problems again.” I took a deep breath, anger growing by the second. “That’s really odd because Joanne called about two hours ago to remind you that you promised to cover her shift tomorrow.” The silence sat for an extremely uneasy four seconds as Tina began to attempt a backtrack. “Oh, did I say Joanne, I meant” I cut her off instantly” Stop the bullshit Tina! Stop it now!! You weren’t with Joanne or any other waitress friend. But I think I can guess where you were. More than likely at the Millers Grove Inn. It seems like that’s where you like to go, at least according to that receipt that was in your coat pocket.” I pointed to the receipt my finger shaking intensely. My body responding involuntarily to the sour mix of anger, nervousness, and anxiety. She just stared, eyes wider than I thought possible. Busted! She had nowhere to take it. She looked down at the floor unable to meet my burning angry eyes. Her face was flushed bluish red from the guilt and sex as well as the drugs and alcohol that were likely involved. She raised her head, eyes now pathetic an pooling up with tears as they held me hostage in anticipation. Her moist red eyes became pathetic and profoundly sad . It must have taken all she had to issue a sad mumble of “I-I’m sorry JT. I’m so so sorry.” She managed a sniffle for an exclamation point but I was miles and miles away from being ready to accept an apology.
“You’re sorry!? Sorry about what Tina? Sorry that you’ve been fucking somebody behind my back or sorry you got caught?” My face must have been bright crimson red because I could feel rivulets of livid red blood cells swirling around my head and I felt my Yeah you do cuz we’ve both been fucked over before and swore we would never do it to each other. I fucking trusted you Tina! I can’t fucking believe this.” The next question asked itself because I don’t remember thinking it. “So who is it? Who are you fucking Tina? Someone from the kitchen? A waiter? Who the hell are you sleeping with?” She paid no attention to the fact that it was more a demand than a question. Through her tears she softly asked, “JT please, does it really matter?” Actually a fair question but for some reason I felt I had to know. “It makes a difference to me, Tina, to me, to your husband. Remember him? You‘re partner for life!!” Tina looked up at me and streams of tear had begun sliding down her cheeks. “Please JT, don’t make me, it isn’t important. I made a mistake and I’m sorry. I don’t know what you want me to say.” Head still burning hot with anger and distain my voice was getting a bit too loud. “I’ll tell you what I want you to say, I want you to say you didn‘t do it. I want you to say I haven’t been with anyone else but you can’t. It’s too late for that now isn’t it Tina. So I want to at least know who I can blame for ruining my life. Who is your fucking boy toy?” My sarcastic tone was over the top and I regretted the moment I used it, but fuck it man, I was beyond pissed! She looked at me defiantly and just spat out his name. “You really want to know JT? Okay I’ll tell you who I made love to, it was Johnny” The Louisville Slugger of shock cracked me dead in the temple sending resounding waves of disbelief across my skull. My head throbbed with a combination of bewilderment and almost uncontrollable anger. Johnny?! Fucking Johnny boy, the love of her life before we started dating. The very dude I had saved her from. The worthless prick who abused her, called her names, and cheated on her right under her nose!. The mother fucker she cried to me about for weeks after they broke up. The piece of shit that treated her like dirt for years as I begged her to leave him. I couldn’t breathe. I was aware of how loud it had gotten and didn‘t want Kayla to wake up. Choked with incredulousness my voice sounded squeezed .“Johnny. You mean Johnny boy the fuckhead that you hated? That fucking Johnny? I can’t believe this! How the fuck did this happen?” Now her tears were in full flight and forcing their way through her fingers. Tina was shaking visibly and breathing in uneven pants. “It doesn’t matter.” Fury was at an all time high. “Stop saying it doesn’t matter. It does matter. It really really does fucking matter!”
After a deluge of wet sobs Tina attempted to explain herself. “I went out for a drink with the girls after work week a coupla weeks ago and Johnny was there. He came over and we just started talking. Just talking, nothing else. He wanted to tell me how sorry he was and wanted to be friends again, we had a few drinks, one thing led to another and I-I don’t know. It just happened.” I was still in stun mode and the anger needed to escape in the worst way. “It just happened?” I was pissed and I could hear Tina sobbing heavily. “Something like that doesn’t just happen Tina. That’s bullshit. You have to know that something might happen. You say to yourself, this is a bad situation, this is wrong. This asshole fucked me over an now I’m talking to him. I can’t do this cuz I’m married. I’m happily married and….” The Louisville Slugger returned this time filled with reality. “Wait! Shit! Oh my god no!? Oh no no no. Oh shit Tina. You’re not happy are you? You were hoping. Oh Jesus god you were looking for someone or something that would free you out of ….of life with me. An unhappy life with me!” Anger was giving way to an old nemesis, my self loathing alter ego I believed to be dead had risen triumphantly. My loud rambling was replaces with a soft voice of reality, of self degradation. “What about Kayla? Are you unhappy about Kayla too?” Now Tina’s face looked distorted. The sockets of her eyes were sunken and wrinkled, deep reddish brown from so much rubbing. She looked old and haggard with her face soaked through and through from an all out cry. Every pore of her face looked sad and defeated. I wondered how I must have looked at that moment. Oh my god did she hate me that much? I was consumed by a combination of anger, betrayal, guilt, sadness and deep self loathing. My old pal, the demon self hate. I had truly hated myself morosely a few years ago when I first told Carrie about my theory that everyone that gets to know me either dies or leaves. That’s probably why I got so fucked up all the time, did so many drugs. Fuck man, even I couldn’t stand being near myself. Why should Tina feel any different f. The years of confidence building collapsed in a single instant. I was crushed and beginning to understand that it was my fault. Tina clearly had to share in the blame too but the reality was she didn’t love me anymore. Neither of us were able to talk. All we could do was shake and cry and sniffle. How did it come to this? I poured myself a huge glass of vodka from the freezer which was half gone in a matter of seconds, and being a half empty type of guy at this moment I filled back up before emptying it in one gulp.
We sat in silence for about ten minutes until Tina found the courage to talk. “So what now JT? What are we going to do now?“ I thought for a few seconds then said ”I don’t know Tee, I just don’t know.” My voice had taken on an eerie even tone which I almost didn’t recognize. “I think I needed to go home to Centerlawn and think shit through. And I think you need to decide what you want to do too. I guess we both need to figure out what we want but as far as our marriage well, thats over” Surprisingly Solomonic after such an emotional roller coaster. Tina just stared at me with a profound sorrow in her eyes so deep it made her look totally detached from life. “I am so so sorry JT. Its all my fault. I don’t even no where to begin.” I put my finger up to her lips, “Shh, there’s plenty of blame to go around. I’ve been so consumed with work and, fuck man I don’t know what. I-I just never saw this coming. We both fucked up. Maybe we should never have been, I don’t know. Like I said, I need to think shit through. I gotta split. I’m going home to my Moms, I need to think. I’ll be back to see Kayla after work tomorrow.” I pounded down another glass of vodka and took what was left of the bottle. I could hear Tina sobbing loudly in the background as I walked out the door. I took one last look at our home, our once happy home and could see the Tot Finder in Kayla’s window. Her parents have just become the monsters under her bed. I thought about Kayla and broke down and cried again. Not a soft cry, not even a cry like I had when my brother James died. This was a deep guttural cry with an ugly darkness. I have lost Tina, I lost my self worth, and worst of all I’m gonna lose Kayla. All in the blink of an eye. I blew Kayla’s window a kiss through my tears, wiped off my soaked cheeks and took a deep breath. I got in my car and left wondering if I was ever coming back.

The Needle And The Damage Done

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damage

I couldn’t help but fixate on my conversation, or maybe slurversation with Artie last night and the China white heroin. Horse, the big H, dope. Heroin took the starring role in most of the PSA movies we were force-fed in high school as the ultimate villain. The Damien of drugs that was where all roads end and would surely be the death of us all. What worried me mot was that it didn’t worry me at all. My life was slinking along the gutter and rapidly evolving into rotted sewage. Carrie cheated on me and my best Ken is gone giving credence to my “JT is a jinx” theory. Everyone I care about either moves, dies, or gets pushed away by me as I wallow in my self loathing. No doubt just more of my self full-filling prophecy of dying a lonely young man. Just everything in my life sucks right now so what do I have to lose? It was like the angel and devil on each shoulder, one whispering “fuck it JT, just go for it” while the other was telling me to stop and think. What do you have to lose? You can handle it, you can handle any drug. The devil was much more convincing and eventually even the angel agreed I should go for it. The downward spiral was set in motion.
I gave Art a call hoping he remembered me even being there last night. “Here there little man, what’s on yer mind?” I took a breath and proceeded cautiously because drug users have built in paranoia and are always worried about cops listening in on phone. “Ah, I was like thinking about what we talked about last night, ya know, that uh, Chinese thing ya know? Well I think I’d like to try it.” There was a short pause before he understood my idiotic cryptic message. “Oh yea, of course little man, I can hook it up, come over tonight and we can get high. I’m partying with Penny and Pam man that’ll be perfect.” I bubbled with an extra air of excitement.
Penny and Pam, the twins, partying with me and Artie? Jesus shit that was unbelievable. Penny and Pam were identical twins, both with long straight black hair and high cheekbones. Either on could pas for Cher with a body to match. Such long legs an such a high tiny waist. Definitely out of my league but drugs are a fantastic equalizer. It was amazing to see them together, they not only looked the same but sounded exactly alike too. They even finished each others sentences. They were two years older so I would need to put on some extra charm. There was a rumor that Pam had a birthmark just above the hair line of her groin and if I had the chance to find out for sure my life would be back on track. Or was it penny that had the mark? Either way, if I had a chance to be with either of them I would be all over it. I would just need to dance the fine line between experimenting with dope and being a full fledged junkie. This could make me a social outcast or an instant legend depending how it goes! I took extra care in blow drying my hair that evening as if it would matter.
When I finally got to Arties I was nervous. The twins were already there and one of them winked at me. They loved to play with peoples heads and pretend to be each other so I have no clue which one winked but it was exciting either way. Artie handed me a glass of vodka while I pulled out a joint, lit it and passed it around. “Hey little man, go put on a record.” I wish he hadn’t call me little man at that point but on the other hand it showed a special connection between me and Artie which enhanced my coolness status. But pressure was on, which album? I chose a Santana album, Abraxas which would set a great mood and took note that Artie had the “Eat A Peach” album by the Allman Brothers. With any luck that will come in handy later because it had a tune called “Mountain Jam” which was an entire side and was the best tune ever to make love too. Gotta remain optimistic, I need a good vibe.
We laughed and partied for forty five minutes during which it seemed like Artie was deciding which twin he wanted to be with, because it was almost a given he had his choice. He’s ultra cool and the man with drugs so he gets special considerations from most everyone, especially the ladies. “Well my little dumplings, I think the time has come. Lets get high.” They both visibly perked up and began getting prepared. Obviously they’d done this before. “ladies this is JT’s first flight so lets help him out here.” They both smiled huge smiles at me and I was ready. One of them grabbed my arm as Artie began pouring some powder into a spoon and lit a candle.” Roll up your sleeve JT honey an lets have a look at your veins.” She inspected my arm, “Cool Artie, he’s got some big veins here, this one should be easy. I’m gonna tie him off.” Artie acknowledged as Penny or Pam looked at me slyly, “You want me to hit you Hon? I never gave anyone their first before.” I gulped a bit harder than I wanted to hoping she didn’t sense my apprehension. “Sure, I’d really like that but which one are you? I mean like for my record.” They both laughed lightly, “Dose it matter? I’m Pam and that’s Penny but we both answer to either so you choose.” She tied an old necktie around my bicep and tightened it then looked at my forearm and slapped it. “Okay, Pam sounds good, their both sexy names.” I felt like an asshole as they both giggled but Pam looked me straight in the eye, “Listen JT, I’m getting your veins to come up and then I’ll choose one. I’m gonna put the spike in your arm and show you how its done. Next time your gonna want hit yourself.” She smiled and instead of thinking about what was happening I found myself thinking about how pretty she is. Artie had put the spoon with the powder and a little water over the candle flame until it boiled lightly, “I’m cooking it up now JT. Soon as it boils I’m gonna draw the liquid up into the syringe. The spike. Pam’s gonna stick you, then pull back to make sure she hit a vein. When you see a touch of red in the spike it means she’s in and then she’ll pull back slightly then push and pull back and forth slowly. Its called booting. Once you start hitting yourself you decide how much you like to boot but for now Pam will choose. In about ten seconds you’ll feel the most intense high you’ve ever fucking had man so just sit back and enjoy it. Don’t try to talk, just dig on it little Bro.” He ripped off a small piece of a unused cigarette filter, put it in the liquid and drew in the liquid, handing the spike to Pam.
“Ready babe?” Pam snapped a finger at the syringe an pushed up until a tiny spurt of water shot out. “I’m making sure there’s no air in the needle, you don’t want air shooting into your heart. As soon as I get a vein I’m gonna release the tie and start booting.” Pam grabbed my arm and studied it locating the perfect spot then she injected the needle. I did my best not to shake. I wasn’t actually scared but I was nervous not knowing what to expect. Pam smiled at me, “here we go baby, enjoy.” I saw her pull back on the plunger, a dab of red liquid mixed in with the dope infused water as she undid the tie around my bicep. She plunged about half of the liquid into my arm and that’s when I took off.
I watched the plunger as Pam went in and out with it about six times, the last time plunging it all the way and then removing the spike. Immediately a warm sensation traveled across my shoulders into my back. I smiled involuntarily and all I could manage to make come out of my mouth was a long airy “Whoooaaaa!” In an instant every ugly, sad, and shitty thing in the world disappeared. Not one thing mattered. Nothing! A faint buzz sound filled my ears blocking everything else out and making me want to just smile. I never felt so good in my entire life and it felt like minutes before I remembered where I was. The first thing I saw was Pam smiling warmly holding my hand. “How ya feeling JT? You okay?” It was spoken in an even easy tone and Jesus shit I was beyond okay. I looked back at her, smiled, and softly and slowly said, “Holy shit Pam, that, thats incredible. I think my head is numb.” Pam laughed then reached her face over and kissed me tenderly on the cheek, “Its my turn baby, you wanna watch? Watching is sexy as hell” I just shook my head unable to form any rational sentences and rocked slowly back and forth. I looked on as she prepared her own batch of China white. Penny and Artie were gone and I assumed shooting up somewhere else. Everything was beautiful, every minute negative anything from the world was gone entirely. Nothing existed but me, Pam, the highest feeling ever, and China white.
There’s something special about getting someone high for their first time JT. Now your gonna share my high with me.” She dumped a packet of heroin into the spoon and filled an eyedropper with water. Pam had a remarkable sparkle in her eye when she gazed at me and said, “I think this is sexy. Watch what I do and maybe next time you can hit me. Pam instructed me on the proper way to use heroin as she got her hit set up. “I’m ready. I have great veins so I don’t even tie off, I hit a vein every time” She smiled and I thought it was the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. It took everything I had not to blurt that thought out loud and look like a dork. I just smiled back as she rubbed her arm where she was gonna inject. I was still numb, and don’t know how else to describe the feeling. I have never felt so good. In mere seconds I had been transported from a loser seeking asylum in drugs to King of the world with a beautiful woman sharing my moment. I watched as Pam skillfully hit a vein and pulled back revealing the swish of blood, then began booting the dope into her arm smiling the whole time. She put down the spike and looked my way. Her eyes rolled back in her head and her lips parted sensuously allowing a long drawn out “ohhhh” to fill the air with an almost pornographic feel. We began making out and everything after that became somewhat foggy.
I woke up naked with my body wrapped around Pam’s. I didn’t even remember falling asleep but I do remember having the best sex of my life and how for one night every aspect of my life was beautiful. I didn’t want to go back to reality, I just wanted to stay high forever. It never dawned on me what a destructive omen that was because last night was the single most awesome night of my life. We had partied a few hours, smoked more weed and hit each other up one more time before we made it to the floor and made passionate love while listening to “Eat A Peach” I had an opportunity to inspect Pam’s naked body and no birthmark but I had no plan of sharing that bit of trivia with anyone. She began to stir and then woke up. “Hey babe, how was your first flight?” I wasn’t sure how to answer, everything happened so fast I was afraid I was falling in love again but this was much to soon. I was beginning to worry that I fell in love with any female that acknowledged my existence so I didn’t want to sound over enthusiastic “Holy Jesus shit Pam it was amazing.” I was about to blubber “And you were the most amazing chick I‘ve ever known” but Pam interjected, “Well its best we don’t mention this to anyone, I don’t want my boyfriend to find out.” Two shots of heroin followed by a shot of reality. A sure sign of danger ahead.

I’m You Venus, I’m Your Fire, What’s Your DESIRE?

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50 shades of Gray Matter. Sticky Gray Matter

Desire. A common bond everyone shares with each other. Not a person exits that doesn’t desire something. What exactly is desire? A philosophic and religious quandary before the word quandary even existed. Desire can raise you to the top of the power pyramid or topple you like a stupid Jenga move. It can get you kicked out of the garden of Eden, get you beaten by your wife with a golf club, or cause you to lose you your pulpit and have you defrocked. That right, the preacher that was frock-blocked and publicly humiliated admitting “I have sinned!” gave in to desire because he sinned. Of course he sinned, if you call sex a sin, he had strong desires. And sexual desire is the glue that binds all seven of the seven deadly sins.
Yes desire, that sweet sweeping feeling of anticipation of pleasure on the way. That marvelous feeling of bodily fluids creeping to the top of the roller coaster in anticipation of an explosive thrill ride. But what price are you willing to pay to fulfill your sexual desire? What will scratching that sensual itch that brings you to the edge of your sanity end up costing you? Everything has a price and desire can incur an array of costs. Reaching your desire makes you happy and although money can’t buy happiness you can pay to have your desires tended to. But they will only come back because you can‘t purchase a way to end your desire. Whether you desire a high octane thrills like the rush from bungee jumping, the status raising happiness of owning expensive clothes, or cars or whatever, it can all be bought. If you want sexual release you hire someone who works for the oldest profession. Want a feeling of euphoria? That too can be bought and paid for but once satisfied the rush is gone. Soon after we reach a climatic conclusion to desire we’re on the trail in search of another chance.
Desire can be achieved during a solo performance but its at its best when it involves more than one singular participant. Desire loves company but misery loves company too so its often accompanied by consequence. Eve desired the forbidden apple and Adam desired the forbidden fruit underneath the fig leaf and reaching for their desires got them a one way ticket out of the garden. Was it worth the consequence? Well if the pictures I’ve seen of Eve are accurate I have no doubt Adam would have proclaimed it was well worth it, and Eve had a major smile when she peered at the size of the talking serpent. For Adam and Eve the joys of sex were so intense it was absolutely worth the price of their exile an according to legend are till going at it today. Seems Adam had been overwhelmed by his horniness which intensified even deeper as it was discovered that Eve was skilled in the art of the tease. She coaxed not only the desires out of her mate but every ounce of human seminal fluid in the world.
Perhaps she learned of this technique as she engaged in a deep conversation with the serpent. Talking snake, lol! Of course we know there are no talking serpents so the snake is a metaphor for Adams writhing tubular appendage. Personally speaking if my own endowment were compared to that of a large cobra I would be quite flattered and other dude would have crazy penis envy. But Adam had no other male to compare his pole to so there was no envy. There was however a plethora of desire and Adam and Eve went at it like pros until Adams wallnuts were out of apple seeds. For the rest of us however the taming of his slippery pusillanimous one eyed slithering serpent is considered the fall of man. In truth I believe Eve was so hot and horny it was Adam who fell, head over heels, and to this day love and desire are a match made in heaven. They satisfied their desires on the grandest of scales. Tiger on the other hand didn’t fare so well.
Tiger had multiple desires which lead to multiple orgasms which once revealed to his wife lead to multiple shots to the head with a number 2 wood. Ironically, Woods was beaten with a wood for indiscretions involving placing his wood in someone elses golfbag during his midnight putting sessions. Elin effectively cleaned his balls by taking Tigers own tool and swinging Wood’s wood with a perfect swing and excellent follow through. She was so teed off she teed off on his noggin, metaphorically smashing both heads with the blows she leveled at him. Tiger paid tremendous consequences losing his wife and many of his endorsements. Mr. Woods has been off his game ever since. But the common bond that drove both men was sexual desire.
Sex. Sometimes a favorite subject and sometimes the pachyderm in the pantry. Taboo, illicit, underage, multiple partner, auto erotic, swapping, or orgies, the act of making love has been around since the dawn of time. Oral, anal, vaginal, or foreign object men have been sticking the snake in whatever orifices they can find since Adam did Eve. And a good thing too or none of us would be here to enjoy it. What is it about sex that makes us desire it so emphatically that many are willing to take chances just to get a little action? What causes us to toss aside inhibitions and engage in acts of pleasure that many others would wince at?
Its hard to pinpoint exactly because there are so many variations on traditional sex these days. There are more fetishes than you can shake a gag ball at ranging from quirky to downright disturbing. Furries, bestiality, acts involving human excrement, pony play, diaper diddling, and the list of the absurd goes on. Some fantasies are socially acceptable and harmless when practiced consensually involving dominants and submissive, voyeurism (not to be confused with stalking), various body parts like leg fetish or foot fetish, sexual role play, sexual fashion like bondage hoods and latex suits , and of course the most common, sex toys. There are legitimate stores that sell nothing other than adult sexual aids such a vibrators, handcuffs, rings, balls, and blow up dolls. There is a myriad of toys and ways to use them that will fulfill near every sexual desire imaginable, and some not yet considered. Whatever your sexual desire you can find someone or something to satisfy it. As long as both (or all if group therapy is your thing) of the participants consent to it then knock yourself out. (which ironically is also a fetish).
Sexual desire has gotten so ingrained into our society we even accept a condition which I refer to as being horny to (ahem) rise to the level of a disease. Not merely a strong desire to have sex but a medical condition that has them predisposed to need sex. A new market will soon open for medicinal debauchery because addicts can’t keep it IN their jeans so they blame it ON their genes. No coincidence it seems to effect celebrities and politicians more than other people. Maybe they really are driven uncontrollably, or maybe, just maybe, they are egotistical arrogant assholes who lack the awareness of anyone outside of themselves and their own all important desires. But in the end we need to do something with them.
So should we just send them to Sexaholics anonymous? “Hi, my mane is JT and I’m a sex addict. I‘ve been ejaculation free for one week now and I feel weak. I need a sponsor, preferably a younger redhead. I‘m just crazy about gingers” Sorry, I for one am not buying it. We all get horny but we also know right from wrong. I mean hell, why not say I have a bank robbing addiction, or an addiction to stealing expensive cars that goes back to my childhood? “It’s not my fault, if he didn’t want me stealing his Mercedes then why did they have to keep it in such sexy good condition. It’s my Dads fault for always making me wash his shitty Oldsmobile.”
This is what people like Jimmy Swaggart used as the excuse for committing the sin of sex or in his case hypocra-sex. Having sex after telling others they’ll go to hell for having it. Maybe he was trying to horde all the sex for himself. Guys who get caught with their pants down with their hose watering the wrong garden these days claim its an uncontrollable burning desire to relieve their sexual tensions. Its recognized as a medical condition. They suffer from chronic medical condition called Acute NonMeaCulpa, or “Not my fault.” That used to be something we said back in grade school before we actually knew right from wrong but now its an excuse to get someone off the hook for acting on something they knew was wrong. Don’t blame the one committing the illegal act, blame it on one of the seven deadly sins. Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride. Or in a word, DESIRE.

Samsung and Da-Liar (episode 3) Parental Advisory, rated IA Immature Adult

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Da-Liar

Sexual Healing (Afternoon Delight)
Da-Liar was a manipulative and underhanded bitch to put it as nicely as possible. Her love of sex was outdone only by her love of money and power. Her specialty was spinning men’s heads (both!) rendering them senseless wrapped around her sensuous fingertips. Da-Liar enjoyed using her uncanny ability of teasing the male libido to heights previously unexplored. She employed near torturous techniques of bring them to the very brink of orgasmic explosion only to slow it down and tease some more. When the moment arrived when they could hold on longer they’d be willing to anything at all for her in exchange for sexual release. Da-Liar had men do things to various parts of her body they would have flatly refused of any other woman. Her skill level at sexual pleasing was legendary and any man or women foolish enough to get caught in her vaginal web hadn’t a prayer of escape and would most certainly hand over all their worldly goods and most of their unworldly. Trophies she had many, golden chariots, designer cloths, jewelry, gold coins, nearly anything she desired she could extract easily. Great Goddess Madonna she was living in a material world and she was the material Girl.
Da-Liar had her eye on Samsung from that very first meeting when her sister gave her ten dollars to go away. She pocketed the cash and spied on the two lovers who snuck off into the woods. Da-Liar stared at that beautiful hunk of an Israelite as he pumped away on top of her sister. When she caught a glimpse of his eye popping ginormous erection she even blushed. “My god almighty the things I could do with that maypole.” She wished it were her underneath the muscular sex machine and she touched herself ever so sensuously when he started doing his slo-motion push ups that had Semedar singing that loud lovers tune “Fuck Me Hard Samsung.” Da-Liar watched everything very intently taking special note of how mesmerized and vulnerable Samsung became when her sister filled her mouth and continued the tune in a harmonic humming chourus.
She also took notice of his long and luxurious blond locks. Maybe he was born with it, maybe it was Maybeline but either way his hair was fucking gorgeous. Da-Liar watched the bulging arms caress his sister and she knew one day her chance would come. And it had, even better than he expected. Not only had she planted the seeds of desire with her catty antics and feigning trustworthiness, but those antics had banned her sister slyly removing her from Samsung. On top of that she would soon be approached by King Davy’s team with even more motivation. The promise of flat screen TVs, top of the line chariots, jewelry and bags of gold to make her wealthy beyond her dreams would that would prove too hard to resist. It wasn’t long before the band of Philly-Steens approached her.
Opportunity was at hand (and foot, mouth, and every other anatomically correct body part). Semedar had been exiled in shame and the burly sex machine with his ripped muscles were lonely, hurt, and vulnerable. Semedar had shredded his gears and Da-Liar was the one who knew just what to do to crank them back up.
Da-Liar was approached by three henchmen of the infuriated King Davy Jones. Mickey, Mike, and Peter jumped the last train to Clarksville to meet with Da-Liar. The Philly-Steen Kingdom had strong tenets and they questioned whether or not she was a believer. “Oh I’m a believer all right, I believe in silver, gold, and diamonds. Exactly what is it you want from me?” Mickey spoke up, “There is much talk of this Samsung coming up with revolutionary concepts that will destroy our kingdom. He has already murdered many of our people and we need to stop him. There is a rumor that he has a secret weakness and we will pay handsomely for the information.” Da-Liar considered her options and believed she already knew his weakness but she decided the challenge would be exciting. “Oh I shall surely find your secret for you I’ll start investigating in the morning” Look out,….Here comes tomorrow.
Da-Liar made good on her promise when finding Samsung alone in the woods where they first met. She knew he went there when he needed to be alone and she would make sure to put a smile on both their faces. “Samsung, I hoped you would be here. I feel so horrible about what happened to you. Are you okay? Maybe I can help” She took his hands and peered tenderly into his sad eyes as he weakly replied, “I don’t think there is anything you can do Da-Liar. It just hurts me so much. How could Semedar do this to me?” Not skipping a beat Da-Liar reached down to his not yet bulging loincloth and went right to work on the horny hunk. In an instant she got his eyes to light up and the blood to rush to his heads by adjusting his pistons in just the right position. Da-Liar lowered her voice to her sexiest best as she glanced alluringly into his eyes, “Oh I am certain I can help you Samsung, if you just give me a chance.” With that she bent down and showed Samsung how much better she was at satisfying than her sister was. Samsung was speechless but made many unintelligible sounds. True to her calling Da-Liar successfully entranced the passion charged curly haired hunk by the curly hairs and captured his heart and soul luring him once again from his home to hers. I’m sure glad it wasn’t me who had to tell Mother Raven he was leaving the nest once again into the bed of the sultry Philly-Steen.
TBC

Experienced Waitress wanted (hopefully and up and comer!)

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“Is That A Rolling Pin Under Your Apron or are You Just Happy To See Me?”

My very first restaurant experience was enlightening in many ways. I was hired to ensure the sanitation of the entire establishment be maintained throughout the dining experience. I proudly bore an exalted title than made me the envy of my school. “Potwasher,” a title that’s far more demeaning than the inoccent name would imply. But fuck it man, I didn’t care. Other friends had jobs in deli’s, gas stations, or retail stores and shit. They had easier jobs, but I had something they didn’t. Easily accessible alcohol, fun loving dudes to joke around with, and HOT waitresses.
So there I was, at the suds busting helm of a sink full of soapy water smiling away at all the hotties. My raging sixteen year old hormones were smiling too. Even the older waitresses were HOT. I quickly learned of the extra advantage of apron wearing which could conceal my budding enthusiasm. Cuz the waitresses were HOT! I used the traditional three compartment sink method, wash, rinse, and cold water to cool my jets in. It wasn’t just that though, I was accepted.
Most people who are “Quirky” out on the fringe of society at age 16 get made fun of a lot. That or run off to the circus or carnival to blend in with other “freaks” But not this young lad, I headed straight for the restaurant life. Working at a restaurant was a religious experience for me. I was like holy shit man, there’s people here even weirder than me. A good restaurant is filled with artists. Struggling actors, singers, comediennes, and writers. That was mostly in the front of the house but I was back of the house. Apparently they don’t get along in many establishments. I can understand the old fuckers in the back of the house but the young chefs? Don’t they see how HOT the wait staff is? Some of the staff were gay, but if guy on guy sex was up my alley I would have bent over backwards for those hunky servers. Dressed just as revealingly as the female counterparts the gay waiters were HOT too. Some so hot I may have considered switching sides from time to time, but the sea of sizzling sexy waitresses was way too plentiful. And HOT.
I loved the way the older waitresses flirted with me and I think I looked good in crimson red when they made me blush and laughed about it. The unflattering white cook shirt really complimented my reddened face. I didn’t care because I was in a kitchen and I could handle the heat and my perseverance paid off one particular evening. It was a tediously slow Monday night and the manager decided to let Kat, the thirty something head waitress close the restaurant. Kat was a divorced women with long blond hair in a shag cut that made her look younger. Deep blue eyes were highlighted by thick mascara and her eye shadow bore an even deeper shade of blue. I used to wonder if she was a model when she was younger, but I was a pup myself and somewhat naïve. She had the perfect face for a young boy to fantasize about, wearing more make up than she needed and pouting oversized lips painted gleaming hot red. Fantastic legs with bulging muscles even in her ankles. I spent many a break following those legs around the kitchen dreaming while trying not to get caught looking.
The chef and cooks broke down and left even before then, so it was just me and Kat in the restaurant. Kat was one of the women who loved to flirt with me to get me mumbling and flustered and goddamn was she good at it!. This Monday night she walked into the kitchen with her skirt higher than usual and asked me if I wanted a drink. I replied indeed I would and she told me to come on out to the bar and She’ll “give it to me.” I watched as she left the kitchen not able to take my eyes off her legs. Had to check the apron to make sure it didn’t reveal my own tightened muscle that had formed below. All clear so out to the bar.
Kat was behind the bar with her back to me. She turned around and caught me staring at her ass and smiled, “See something you like Hon?” I smiled weakly and thought to myself “Oh yea, I see something I really like.” As if she read my mind she grabbed two rocks glasses and walked over to me. “How bout this Hon?” She handed me one of the glasses. I drank half of it straight down in one fast gulp. “Easy Hon, you don’t want to go too fast.“ There was a throaty tease to her voice, but more obvious was the tease as she gently rubbed that muscle I was talking about. The blood shot up to my face so hard and so fast I thought someone hit me. With her other hand she reached up and unbuttoned three of the buttons of her blouse revealing three quarters of her smooth breasts barely covered with a thin flower print bra. She had my undivided attention. My apron muscle stood at attention as well. I pulled the apron string and let it drop to the floor. I launched a near attack on her breasts but she grabbed my hands, “Easy Tiger, no need to rush.” She skillfully undid my shirt and pulled it off an began sucking on my nipples, “This is how you do it Honey, nice and easy.”
The adrenalin that shot through my body was electric shock therapy. I never even thought women sucked on guys nipples but I was a fast learner. I returned the sensual gesture and paid total attention to her breasts, lovingly applying my tongue on her nipples. I could tell she liked it because she was making soft moaning noises of approval. I was so focused I barely even noticed that she had undone my pants. I pounded down whatever was left in the rocks glass for a little bravado. It went down easy yet burned all the way. I struggled out of my pants an underpants and Kat led me to the lounge and laid me on a cushioned bench. She remove her stockings and panties but not her dress. She just hiked it up an straddled me. Her skilled hand directed my heat seeking misle inside her and pumped away furiously. It felt so unbelievably good my inner self was ablaze and transcending rapidly. My entire circulatory system sang, danced, then gathered in my penis and threatened to make it explode violently. Kat slowed her pace as she moved up and down with artful slow rhythm and now it was me making sounds. I moaned and groaned and claimed my allegiance to god over and over as Kat just kept moaning simply “Yes, yes, Yes, oh yea.” Suddenly she got very loud and screamed “Oh god, here it is, I‘m coming, I‘m coming!” and then a AHHHhhhhh, that began really loud and got softer and slower by the second. Hearing her orgasm brought me to the breaking point. I exclaimed loudly “I think I’m gonna come,” but the warning was too late as I exploded my hormonal syrup, every last drop of it deep into her. The two of us lay there panting and moaning and panting some more. Like needles and pins blood pumped through my face and I fell in love for the very first time that very second!
Of course it wasn’t real love, Kat had zero interest in love especially with me, but I could feel it. I knew I was in love. We had sex a few more times after that night, mostly in her apartment. Kat never once made it feel awkward at work, I never bragged to anyone so no one knew what we did. One day something came up and she had to go back home to Kansas. I would never see her again, but neither would I ever forget her.
Kat schooled me in so many things, but nothing so expertly as pleasure, both how to please and how to be pleased. To this day looking at a waitress makes me horny and reminds me of my carnal adventures with Kat. I know she never loved me, that I merely served a purpose for her for a while but that’s okay. I would fall in and out love a hundred times more and have plenty of sexual adventures. Kat did way more for me than I ever could for her and she may be the true reason I fell in love with restaurants to begin with. I’ve had a great career as a chef and have my share of excurions so intense they would make Kitchen Confidential seem lame. I’ve been loved and been in love. But nothing will ever compare to the love I got from Kat the waitress. Thanks Kat, wherever you are!