Mourning dew

 

In the lonely shadows
When morning is still dark
Nature cries
Into blades of grass
Morning dew or Mourning dew
They’re still tears
Natures sorrows
Crying through the ground
Wafting upwards
From the graves of the gone
The tombs of the gallery
Soulless bodies
I know quite a few
Some from natures equalizer
Illness and disease
Some from natures randomness
It’s wheel of misfortune
Accidents
Murders
Wrong place, wrong time
Some from natures irony
Suicide
Self destruction
Drugs
To numb the pain of leaving the womb
Facing the cold cruel world
Yea, I know a few…..

 

In a therapeutic session I got the impression that depression was the cause of my dejection
No emergency that I could see but an urgency for my emerging need to escape reality
I got no prescription just a transcription of my transition so I got a subscription to scratch an itch and
Standard transmission for a bitchin’ ride with my magician whose mission was to alter my cognition
What I mean is I got high
Splattered my brain across the sky
I know its not the way
But it made depression fade away
So I did it everyday
Until I couldn’t get away
But misery loves to have company
So I took my best friend Bump with me
The product of such ridicule
Starting back in middle school where asshole kids can act so cruel
Where they forget the Golden Rule
Together we headed into obstruction
Strolling side by side toward our destruction
Seduced by sexy opium seduction
Believe me son
When poppy makes it’s Jones abduction its gonna suck son
You end up shit outta luck son
When it comes flying you better duck son because its the suction of deconstruction
One better know better
What I’m trying to say is I snuck out but he stayed stuck Mon
Sticking himself and tricking himself all the time he was inflicting himself
And addicting himself with the powdered ball and chain
Took away the pain
Faking out the rain
Telling everyone he was cool
Making us seem loke fools for making him look cruel
But he could win it
I turned my head for just one minute
Never realized how deep Bump was in it
He never made a sound
Though I totally related he was so goddam sedated he thought he was elated but to this date he remains underground
Thrilled with pills knowing speed kills but drugs were the only true solace he ever found above ground
I never heard his heart pound
Paid no attention to his pleas
Help me please
I turned away like he was a disease
No one listened
No one cared enough
They laughed it up and
No one helped
Not even me, his best friend
An onus I will carry until my end
The day I betrayed a friend
Now this may sound hypocritical and I don’t wanna get too analytical
But its oh so typical when people ridicule the individual
Waving ones own banner is almost Biblical
This may be cynical but I was his umbilical
Because no one else understood he was atypical
Another wandering child in a world apocalyptical
Just wanted to be who he was
But they laughed from a distance and broke his will
Pointed their fingers to get their fill
Pshhhtt, Y’all called him ill
Now who’s the hypocrite?
Now who’s counterfeit?
Wish I could reciprocate but here’s a promise much too late
His tears rise as my tears fall
When we meet in the early dampness of death
Walking barefoot in the grass
I step upon the mourning dew
I think of him the man I knew
The brother I loved despite your view
His days were far too few
And if one of you fuckers ever laugh at him again…..
I’ll walk your ass out in the mourning dew
That’s it…..I’m through

 

 

A Dads Thoughts On Life

 

 

At the far too tender age of five my curious daughter peered deeply into my heart through my eyes. Knowing she had my full attention as I meditated she posed me an existential question. “What is life Daddy? Can it merely be blood and breath, flesh and bone, and independent thought?” (Okay, I paraphrased a bit but that’s what she meant) . With a childlike earnestness she continued, “please don’t tell me lies like the other adults Daddy, I trust you.” After a cautionary period of consideration I decided to tell her my honest thoughts. “No one really knows what life is we only know it exists. And some of us aren’t even sure about that my little love but this is my existential theory. I know this probably sounds like adult talk bullshit but the truth is it’s too hard to explain in an antiseptic arrangement of hard to understand words, so I will try an explain it in verse………

Are we here or are we there
Is anybody anywhere
Or is everybody everywhere
Is time real and should you care
When is now and when was then
Get to the end and go back again
Its always spinning so I let it all be
Life is just a cycle to a psycho like me
But who are we and why do we exist
Questions so tempting its hard to resist
Maybe the question that should be asked
What can we do to remove the masks
See each other for who we are
Not so far from outer bizarre
Various colors different beliefs
Similar joys, similar griefs
Free of compartments
But similar contents
Hating anyone simply doesn’t make sense
So the best I have to offer is my thoughtful consonance
One quick trip with the flow of my consciousness

 

As I contemplate my insignificance whether fate or just coincidence
I remember a certain incident that creates some dissonance
But given due diligence I can remove the belligerence
Lackluster ignorance doesn’t offer you deliverance
It just makes you numb
Makes you sound like you’re dumb
The outcome of which could make you succumb
To groundless conclusions and downright confusion
Delusion exclusion and illusion seclusion
Until some half wit human picks up a gun
Scatter and run
Because hate has no conscience
Once begun its been done
And though my eyes close theres one thing I see
Death in the end has not one ounce of mercy

We contemplate our significance to the Universe while arguably every other species on earth simply goes about surviving. But us, in this tiny pocket, of this small galaxy, of this immense Universe, we simply assume we must be the important species. Ants, Lions, Whales, whatever have no purpose, only humans. Instead of spending so much time trying to congratulate ourselves for being so damn superior, perhaps we should address why we are the most destructive species. We destroy eco systems, we throw our trash across the planet and call it progress, and still we live and breathe, love and die, and still fight, sometimes to the death, to prove to ourselves that we are important in the big picture. There is no big picture, there are only scant few moments to enjoy what life offers. Take life’s offer while you’re still here……
To all whom it applies Happy Fathers Day, to everyone alive,

She Smiles At The World

 

She looks so alive
She seems so revived
The truth is she hurts
Feels dead inside
Beneath all the make up are the bruises she hides
The scars on her soul that have broken her pride
She’s alone on this ride and abused until she cries
Still she denies and buys into his lies
Her world so unsteady about to erupt
Using his fists the hits don’t let up
The man she once loved just can’t get it up
Until seeing her cry with her life in disrupt
Sobbing in pain pleading in vain
It gets him off to see her restrained
A life arcane drenched and Bloodstained
Each time he swears he won’t do it again
Without her permission he implants his emission
He gets fruition with her in submission
The life she once loved is coming unfurled
Gathers her hair and smiles at the world

No one can hear her soft supplication
The mental deflation from profound humiliation
So she lies with him naked in stony sedation
Feigning her love for his sexual elation
Numb from the punches and numb from dejection
Closing her eyes in religious reflection
Faiths all she has in profound introspection
He knows how to hit to avoid any detection
Punching her gives him a rising erection
Blood in his face gives him reddening complexion
But something goes wrong
It never stays hard it doesn’t last long
So the hits keep on coming
Rude crude and lewd
An extra fist pump if she shows attitude
Embraced but alone in her own solitude
All alone she won’t let anyone in
The price she must pay for living in sin
Minute by minute her life comes uncurled
Gathers her strength and smiles at the world
The thin line between love and hate
Thins evermore after just the first date
A cycle of violence
A reign of terror
Loving a monster
Treacherous error
The dickless coward
Feels so empowered
Facing a man would cause him to cower
He’s mud on her shoes
A fungus that grows
He’s just gotta go
Girl its now or never…..
He’ll never stop hitting
You’ve got to be clever
He’s a stain on your lifeline
Isn’t even worth shitting
Not to mention
Ain’t worth one single drop
Of your love and affection
But she never runs away
Can’t break their connection
More painful than the violence
Are the wounds on her soul
So deep have they become
The scars haven’t time grow old
She believes she deserves it
So she fashions a smile
Wears it like a mask
To cover a seizure
Creates an amnesia
Her lone anesthesia
But make no mistake
Its not a weakness but a strength
This warrior girl
Tries to shield us from the dread
The realities of abuse
In a smoldering bed
What can she do
To make life seem worthwhile
But go out in the world
And give it her smile
She smiles at the world
Not because she’s weak
She smiles so we don’t feel her pain
So don’t turn away
Smile in return
Offer a kind word
Maybe even confide
She smiles at the world
Because she hurts deep inside

Fait Acompli

 

 

Destiny denies and deep inside
Lets out a moan and a pleading sigh
I’m surrounded by the constant sight
Of the decaying visions I try to hide
The ugly remains of days gone by
So I get high trying to hide my pride
That was my life with me as guide
But I tried
It feels like my fate is just a dream
Karma isn’t real just another scheme
Mental stream of an extreme bad theme
An existentialist’s surreal daydream
Kismet can be mean
Fate a concept in my inside pocket
Stale memories trapped in someone’s locket
But don’t knock it cause you cant stop it
Goes way to fast for us to clock it
Too absurd for us to shock it
Destiny is an aura rocket
Fate leads you down the path of no return
You can change direction or crash and burn
Its your decision and you’ll get what you earn
Living through failure is how we all learn
We all go through it when its our turn
Its acceptance we yearn
What is shall be and what shall be is fait
You can choose to love or choose to hate
No time to ponder no time to wait
Like the Rabbit said I’m late I’m late
You need only look to the side in order to see straight
A date with fate is on the slate
And that’s great
For many footprints litter my path
Some I followed in earnest
Some I followed in wrath
Perhaps I’m a Guru or a sick sociopath
I can’t figure out which
You do the math
But destiny called me and showed me the light
A world full of seekers searching for right
Seekers of faith, seekers of truth
Seekers and preachers of forbidden fruit
Seekers of self and seekers of reason
Seekers of greed caught up in their treason
Seekers of knowledge real or inspired
If you ain’t found it yet guess what, times expired
You’re fired!
Carriers of doom pushing the cart
Lock pickers solving affairs of the heart
Out of work actors seeking a part
Unqualified teachers who aren’t so smart
Lessons to learn are so far off the chart
The teachings of age shoulda known from the start
One simple answer it all falls apart
Some solutions stay naked thrown in the wind
I asked the same question again and again
That’s when Fate called out but I wasn’t ready
Wanted to follow but my movements unsteady
Seems all of my travels have brought me to naught
Midnight comes fast with darkness it brought
The sun bows down in defeat of day
Standing in awe I have nothing to say
A lifetime of pains
Soaked from sorrowful rains
My question remains:
“Why is it easier to say I’m sorry to the ones that have died
During moments of quiet reflection
Than to offer up sincere apologies to those who can hear
Instead of doling out quiet rejection?”

In its solitude evening hung its head and sighed
As darkness broke down in tears as I cried
Sometime wish I’d never been born
But more often I wish I had died

THE BEAST

 

I have so many names Abaddon, Beelzebub, Satan or Serpent Lucifer, Harborym, Prince of Hell awaiting, The devil the demon the seed of evil The Reaper, the Darkness the master of upheaval. Call me what you may but in the end…… I am you and you are me

The Beast

Hidden in the shadow of evil
Holding darkness in shackles
Impregnating the minds of the masses
With the seeds of infernal fire
Chaos his one true domain
Constantly clawing his way
Into the helix of our beings
He is the Beast and his work is not yet done
Laughing haughtily at our ignorance
He berates us, the feeble light chasers
Insignificant followers of sunshine
All the while biding his idle hands
Because the Beast has the wisdom
Every light of life eventually fades
Enslaving everyone to his onyx trance
I am the temptation, the horrid defecation of your murderous nation
I am the intruder in violation of the king of creation
I caused his castration for all damnation
And its you who will pay son
For I am anger I am hate
I am the death you await
The devastation of war
Anticipating the wraith
I’m the Reaper at the door
Here to determine
I am the paranoid priest
With an unspoken sermon
I am the disease and filth on the teeth of vermin
Looking for your mother to force my sperm in
I am agony, the pain, hurt and sorrow
I’ll still be here when God dies tomorrow
I am you
Witness this
The Beast was there on my day of entrance
Overseeing my natal adventure
The vortex of his evil impaled me deep
Staking his claim on the edge of my heart
His servant indentured had I become
Evil that Clung to me like earthborn roots
Delivered me into unrighteousness
Made me the evil who was once the good
Tortured by my never-ending hunger and thirst
Betrayed by the fall of man
The flightless Phoenix in night dress
The smoke of the arisen burnt my eyes
The putrid ashes burnt my lungs
He is hunger unsatisfied
He is thirst unquenched
His wrongdoing never ceased
He is just the Beast
The horrible fucking Beast
He’s hateful and vicious the demon pernicious
Capriciously malicious an ambitious narcissist
Don’t count on him he’ll always dismiss us
He’ll dismember so tender and splendor in our surrender
He goes by so many names even he can’t remember
But in the corner of your eye
The place you never want to see
Hides The Stalker of Misery
He is in you and me

Whirlpool of Worries

whirlpool

 

(Freestyle Beat Poetry)
Shit is spinning concentric, we all sound eccentric
Without evidence forensic are we still geocentric?
Cause The American dream fell apart at the seams
No more it seems of Norman Rockwell scenes
Scientists tell us to hurry before we get lost in the flurry
Religion says don’t worry, god will clear up what’s blurry
Its not celestial storming
Its just Global warming, go ahead and drill don’t heed the warnings
Oil money will be swarming now that DC reforming
Big business thriving, species struggle at surviving
Environment corroding covered in grease its foreboding
My head explodes across aimless roads
As the earth erodes and our world implodes
Feel the destruction due to the mayhem it knows
With electronic devices recruiters entice us
To kill dice and slice us, with a fucking crisis called Isis
And the deliria in Syria causing bedlam hysteria
A myriad of bacteria, Ebola growing like wisteria
Gives us early dismissals
Turncoats are blowing their whistles, Little countries are firing missiles
Nuclear expansion despite the objection of global officials
Rivers burning in flames, charcoal dark skies
Endless White House lies put fear in kids eyes
Governments using their spies until all justice dies
Fuck it all lets build a wall
The Immigrants are classless, huddled in masses
The tired and poor say a few refugees more
While back in our homes we buy new iPhones
Just leave it alone, this useless stalling
WWIII comes a calling the walking dead begin crawling
Our Democracy is falling!
Plutonium enrichment is causing world wide friction
The president has a predilection, his nuclear code fingers itching
To blow up the obstructions mass killing is seduction
Magnetic conduction, global temperature reduction
Stalling reproduction until nothing is born
It’s all too insane
Circling the drain in a vortex of pain
This “Ball of Confusion” ain’t an illusion
The whirlpool of worrying has us all scurrying
Trying to make sense of this shit we keep getting buried in
Scratch and claw, shock and awe
No order no law an anarchists construction
Mutually assured mass destruction
One big Mother Fucktion
But I’m not worried
I’ll just be one more deduction

Culture Profiteers

culture

 

 

(A POV beat street piece to honor MLK)
They kept us enslaved
Deprived and depraved
Drowned us to death
In the blood we had paid
Now you cross the street cause the snowflakes afraid
Weighted with guilt from the whips they had made
Yet you market hip hop fashion in a pretty array
Selling our culture and stealing the pay
Cashing in dollars off of cultural poverty
Marketing the onus of black urban novelty
Selling our fates like you think we still property
Years of oppression as your corporate commodity
Give us headlines in black about murder and sodomy
When it came to reparations its seems you forgot me
Shackled and hassled and profiled in black
Handcuffed and choked or shot in the back
Throwing us pennies while you take the stack
Till the only way out is dealing in crack
Erupting underground in exploding seismology
Turning us into some urban mythology
While brothers and sisters unclaimed in pathology
Lie there dead awaiting an apology
This ain’t no rocket science psychology
Inequality in myopic dollar visionlogy
Just corporate America trading and selling hysteria

White hood on a head, bible in hand
Burning white crosses in our holy land
Running away as quick as you can
Back to your church to make a new plan
Ethnic ferocity is that all you got for me?
Bible revival a Christian held lottery
Killin’ our children just don’t seem like god to me
My people are undying you don’t think that bother me?
You languish in gold an economic prodigy
Skipping over the part of your inhuman atrocity
Slavery was our odyssey and you ain’t the boss of me
It all seems so odd to me
Like the world is on fire
Claiming racism has expired
But the hatred still burns like a funeral pyre
With the conniving prejudice living and thriving
Whites kids bopping and jiving while black Moms sit home a crying
Choking on the metaphoric noose where children keep dying
It really stung when condemned our young
Then watered the tree’s where our ancestors hung
Locked us behind bars made of lily pad fear
Brown and black wearing the new orange gear
You think we nuthin but dealers strung out on dope
Climbing your picket fence dream to rob you of hope
But we work we live and we breathe and walk the tightrope
Profile us to stand like a guilty sculpture
Pockets picked by a Wall Street vulture
Its so stressful it give me an unccer
Profiting from the blood and tears
Of African culture