Tag: poetry

Climb Of Freedom

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when-freedom

 

 

My past is my prison
Shame forged shackles
Enslaved for too long
When will I know freedom
Be proud of my name
Unchain my tortured soul
Find a sanction of solace
Immune from all my evils
Shall it be only once I cease?
Some say when you die
You must carry your cross
To the top of the mountain
The precipice of redemption
To confront absolution
Others say when you die
It’s the souls you must carry
Of all you have wronged
Their full ballast on one shoulder
Far to much weight to bear in solitary
Yet the path must be mine alone
Achieve my tribulations unencumbered
Atop the cliffs of eternity
Frightened I request company
Yet I know in my heart
I must climb up that onus unescorted
To the peak of my own making
Where my virtues are stained in blood
And my merits abashed into ruins
There I must stand before providence
Naked in my atonements
That I can finally commence
The unburdening of my ills
Then is when I find freedom
I’m also told that this is only a story
Archaic tales of meandering souls
But what are our souls
But a collection of our stories
Waiting to be told
Waiting to be free

Live and Love in Peace

 

There Was A Time

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there-was-a-time

 

 

There was a time
When I looked ahead
Infinite roads of gold
I believed I could reach out
Grab my future
Life was within my grasp
I was the master of time
Now I just look behind
And its all so far away
So elaborately distant
Far out of my reach
I dropped so many moments
But there was a time
There was a time
With the eyes of youth
I could see ever so clear
Knew just who I could be
But I became far too many
I don’t even know which me I am
I been so many lives
Seen so very many sunsets
Since the days of my youth
That my visions clouded
Now my eyes only see
A ravaged reflection
Of what the present holds in its arms
But there was a time

There was a time
I could have owned the world
Ruled my very destiny
Gardens of adventure
Mine for the taking
Living the life
Scratching my name in the stars
To leave my mark
Now life has done the etching
Tattooed on my soul
Scars of the past
Reminding me always
That there was a time

Time is the ultimate in freedom, it can never be chained, never be stopped. There are many important times but no time is as important as right now. I’m never am sure of where I’m going or how I’ll get there but one consistent in life is time. Time is everything that ever was or ever will be and at a certain point it feels like its all happening at once. You can look ahead or look behind, your choice, but you can’t change it or erase it because time never stops or starts it just is. And was or will be. Time can be measured in seconds, hours, days, years, decades, or whatever delineation we assign it but for each of us time is right now, this very moment. There are times we recall and times we forget but one thing I’ll always be able to remember is….There was a time

Looking Back In Anger

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looking-back

 

It could have been Tuesday
Or Thursday
The days all seemed the same
Maybe it’ll happen tonight
Or maybe tomorrow
A painful waiting game
But I knew it was coming
Or was it going
Only time can know
Why did I need to watch it
Or worse, live it
See the cancer grow
Cancer is an arrogant shit
Stepping on hearts with depravity
But I remember you you shit
That very night it took my Mom
Cancer spun and waltzed to the ballroom floor
In an ugly miasmic dance with death
Teasing and taunting
Till we could take it no more
Dispassionate
Sucking up all her breath
She didn’t even know she was at home
Thought she was alone
Didn’t know how much I cared
Cancer took her brain away
Left her lonely and scared
With vile indifference
Some unfamiliar eyes looked my way
Like they had something important to say
But it wasn’t mom who was staring
The eyes were too angry
Then in my Moms deaths voice to taunt me
“Who are you? Why are you here? I don’t know you”
“It’s me Mom, your prodigal son. I’ve come back home.”
“You’re not my son, I’ve never seen you before in my life”
The anger in her eyes was vaguely familiar
At the same time completely foreign
Still they cut like a razor through my soul
Bleeding out the shame of virtues past
Burning a hole in my confidence
It wasn’t her it wasn’t her
It was the Cancer talking
Leaving me wounded
One final indignity
To taunt my reflection
Cancer cares for no one

Memories are like watching reruns of our lives. Many make us smile, swell with pride and feel the comfort and warmth of an epoch of our younger days. Sometimes they bring on a state of melancholy leaving us yearning for those days while others make us outright sad and depressed, especially when the memory is of something ripped from our hearts. They come as an ending, a final memory, the last episode. This is inspired from my final memory of my Mom who passed from cancer many years ago. I left home when I thought I had become a man to become an adult on my own terms which intensified the already established rift between my mother and I. Fortunately mere months before she was diagnosed with cancer we had come to understand and appreciate each other and our relationship had returned to a strong mother /son bond. On the downside, this made the end so much harder…

The Sun Also Rises

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sunrise

 

Props to Papa

Stealthily the sun soars above our heads
In a glorious haze of red and yellow
Stretching its warmth over the horizon
Playing solar games in the mountains
Until her once bright light tires and dims
She courtesy and dips below the surface
Allowing darkness to create mazes and enigmas
The sun does set
Perplexities that plague a generation
Lost in search of awaterbead drop
Of integrity from a world immoral
Decadence and depravity amongst
The promise of reassurance and love
Only to crumble under dark shadows
Of the evil lurking in midnight mists
The hope of liberation rises with light
A sensual bright enriching solar massage
Which breathes life into the elusive dying
Men drink and fight so with the bulls
With delicacy and grace their women
Soothe their angst with enigmatic skill
Allowing the sun to ascend triumphantly
For what profit hath a man of all his labor which he taketh under the sun*
Even as nightfall sets upon a generation lost in it’s own obscurity
The sun also rises

 

With sincerity she glides up on shore
Her shining bright diamond arrows
Shot across from a maroon Kimono
Bursts brilliance across our vision
Shedding it’s luminosity across a horizon
Opening the portals of our enlightenment
Yes the dependable sun will again set
But the sun also rises
*Ecclesiastics 1:3

 

 
Live and Love in Peace

I Love You Man

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bryan

 

Forgotten laughs
Turn to sighs once
A piece of childhood
Retires to memories
I heard the news
A boulder on my heart
Haven’t seen him
Since life happened
Yet somehow I still miss him
Miss the carefree times
Fearless sled rides
Down the glistening crescent
Crashing and laughing
Into diamond ice drifts
Not noticing the cold
Fires of friendship glowed
Bonfires of the innocent
Strolling on our bikes
Kick stands banana seat
Three speed really neat
Nowhere to go
But so much fun
Getting there
Carefree nights
Listening to crickets song
Camping out so tough
In the backyard
Looking up at the stars
Wondering who we are
Who We’ll be
Asking about life
But like clouds in the sky
Life passed us by
Our very first cars
The girls and the bars
Dreaming about playing guitars
Until life took control
Different nights on a different day
Life can be funny that way
Finding love getting jobs
Get away from the mobs
Then came the day I moved away
Yea man, life’s funny that way
Ironic
After so many sunsets
Its much too easy to forget
That the best friends I had
From my mirrors rear view
Were much closer than they appeared
All along
With a blink of an eye
Our lives passed us by
And the love of a friendship
Fades and runs dry
Memories in storage now
In the gallery gone
Where my space awaits
To become the past
Those days found a home in my heart
We had the best of times
Maybe that’s why I’m numb
But my heart breaks not for myself
It aches for the family
Of my childhood friend
Who welcomed me into their home
And still to this day
Allow me into their hearts
Bryan…. I Love You Man
Rock In Peace sweet childhood soul mate
Live And Love In Peace

 

The Beautiful Monarch

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butterfly

 

All the bugs laughed
Called her names
Slug bait and worse
The caterpillar crawled
Paid them no mind
But it hurt just the same
So she built a cocoon
Crawled inside to cry
The tears of the lonely
Caused by the arrogant
The condescending insects
That held themselves superior
Fueling her sorrowed droplets
Which turned into acid
And dissolved the body
She had grown to hate
And dissolved the mind
Of the girl she feared
Until the day came
She said fuck em all
I am beautiful
Not just inside
But everywhere
Then the beautiful butterfly
Broke out of her cocoon
Held her head high
And soared above the crowds
Without looking down
As the insects all looked up
In great admiration
Wishing they were as fantastic as
The Beautiful Monarch

Into The Fire

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fire

 

The blazing fire inspires me
Flickering with authority
Perhaps it ‘s the danger
The power of its incandescence
Which commands my will
Intimidates my life blood
Entrances my inner self
The vivid burning embers
Capturing my imagination
Pleases my wishful eyes
But it’s the pluming smoke
That holds the true stories
The secrets of the flame
Reaching into my eyes
Coaxing saline droplets
Forcing thoughts upon me
Helping me remember
Things I want to forget
As I gloomily sift through
The ashes of my anguish
Hoping to erase the sad
Live and Love in Peace

Damaged Goods

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damaged

 

Adrenalin rush
Wakes me from sleep
Reminds me I’m weak
Tossing and turning
Head and heart pounding
Someone’s shouting
At a loss, can’t even think
But can’t shut off my thoughts
There’s only one thing
That could unleash
That level of torture
This intense fear
My passenger is near
Snickering in jeer
Why must you always be here?
Let me be
Set me free
Its been a while
I’d hoped
You had left me
We’d never meet again
But now you’re back
Another attack
I guess its time
To talk to my old friend
So you can damage me again
I wished you had died
I wished you had died
But you’re still alive
You’re always inside
Waiting to manage
Waiting to damage
Take advantage
Because I’m damaged
Re-arranged and deranged
I’m self estranged
I wish I could kill him
Destroy the passenger
Who constantly rides me
Hides me
Derides me
Won’t let me out
I scream And shout
But no one hears
Like they don’t have ears
Can’t see my tears
Of frustration and fear
But to me its real
My inner self revealed
I just can manage
I’m damaged

Kodak Moments

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Kodak Snapshot Mini Album

Found an old photo album
Moments in time
Held still in a book
Captured on film
A slice of real life
An imprisoned memory
Proof of existence
A chronicling of emotion
Both happy and sad
Happy because it’s a reminder
Of days gone by
Sad because it’s a reminder
Of days gone by
Reflection of my affections
Impression of recollection
Right before my eyes
Family photo’s
Smiling faces
Memories in print
5×5 gloss memorials
An innocent epoch
A world of contentment
A perfect family
But photographs never really tell the whole story
Do they?

What’s That Daddy? A Question of Perspective

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dad

 

Why are you crying Dad
Are you happy or sad?
Right now I’m sad my love
Why do we get sad Dad?
Sadness is part of life Baby Girl
As sorrows burrow
Deep within our selves
It leaves an empty tunnel
To be filled with joy
You fill that tunnel for me everyday
Sometimes it’s okay to be sad
Because happiness exists after sadness
The beautiful sound you hear
When you play the violin
Was born in the anguish of a tree
That grew sad as it was torn down
That wine that brings me joy
Was squeezed from the berry
Born of the tears of the vine tender
Shed when we extracted its luscious fruits

Happiness and sadness both exist within you
Your heart holds near these truths
To enriches all the treasures
Of your infinite depth
Revealed to your soul
Yet not to your eyes
For you don’t see happiness
But you know when it here
Only through life sap in your eyes
The tears of sorrow and joy
Can you meet your true being
And walk together always
Hand in hand with emotion
Through the good and the bad

Live and love in peace

From the very first moment our children point and ask “what’s that” we transform from average people to all knowing parents. They look to us for answers from that day forward and with the right perspective we can become the fountain they’re thirst of knowledge is quenched from forever more. It’s all about offering perspective…….