Tag: poem

Pocketful of Memories (This Ones For You)

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I sit in solitude in my gallery
Filled with ancient reminders
Sad that I own of ours so few
Moments past that wade in teardrops
And dangle on the heads of pins
Falling into the faults of fate
Like autumn leaves so full of verve
But signaling the end of a life
In my pocket I hold little treasures
Those still memories of ours I keep
Though they are small of number
Reminders yield power over me
Because love knows nothing of time
And though the hours were not enough
I rely on my pocketful of memories
For memories are all I possess

 

 

Memories
No matter where we made them
We like to buy and trade them
Collect them and parade them
With the happiness they’re made in
Or the sadness they have stayed in
And the misunderstood they strayed in
In the land of quiet reflection
Memories are gilded dreams
Sometimes it’s all I have
Or is it just the way it seems
I’m left to view my memories
Through a prism of regret
The penance I must pay up
So I never will forget
Because love never leaves….
Nor should it

 

 

Life in reverse is a series
Of episodes and reruns
Smiles and cries before you die
Shards of living good or bad
Glistening in the sunshine
Reflecting who we are
Remembering who we were
And memories, what of them?
A compilation of what time made
Skies full of clouds of hope
Clouds we can never hug and hold
Because they come and leave
And clouds get blown away
Forgotten
Because they aren’t really memories
Not creating memories
Is the saddest thing in the world

 

Every single minute of every single day we have an opportunity to make a memory. Don’t waste one single second, make them all moments to hold on tight to and recall on those lonely sorrow filled nights when you keep thinking I wish……I wish I had made more…Live and Love in Peace

The Story Of My Main Man

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Time can be cruel by suffocating us in our recollections of youth but it can also shine a reflective light on our accomplishments. Today my son, a husband and father, has seen his 36th full trip around the sun and celebrates another Natal Anniversary, which in and of itself is not necessarily an accomplishment. The relationship we forged and his successes are an accomplishment to me Like a fine wine our relationship has matured into an exceptionally superb full bodied tale that sates the souls of our camaraderie. As most fathers will agree it was complicated at times but the result for us is a father and son connection offering richness in flavor and bursting with a floral aroma’s of love. I think more of him as my favorite mate than merely a result of half my DNA. The love of a father and son has matured to the point of best friends. His story is one of success and happiness, a devouring of life that satisfies his essence and fills him with gratification and verve that never ceases to fill my heart with pride. Happy Birthday Little cool Man…..

The Story Of My Main Man
When my final chapter is written
And my story becomes history
My son will be a large part of it
The boy who shaped me into a father
The youth who fashioned my patience
Forged my boundaries of tolerance
A young man who challenged me
Allowing me to grow into fatherhood
How do you thank someone for that?
Simply for being themselves
When I’m gone maybe some will tell my tale
It will be the story of who I was
What I became
And my son will have a big role
His life will be all about me
That’s a lie!
The real truth is
I will be a small part of his glory story
The man who whispered to him to be true
Sent him out to carve his own history
The story of a boy who became a man
Forging his own path in a forest of thickets
Overcoming the dangers of treacherous waters
To become a man with head held high
A story that should be mandatory teaching
A tale that should be shouted across the universe
The song of a boy who challenged his own limits
A young lad who overcame the perils of his parents
A great father
A great husband
A great human being
A modern male Cinderella who controlled his destiny
If pride is a commodity I am so rich for having you
You are wealth beyond my imagination
I would prefer being full with your love
To all the riches I ever dreamt of
And believe me, I have dreamed plenty
If I could borrow from my own future
I would gladly give my time to him
So I thank you my son for being you
And having me be a part of your story

So that’s my son. My main man who taught me at least as much as I taught him and then more, who is now my best friend. I could never repay you for all you have given me, and all I have ever really had is words, so I am giving you these three words for you to keep, three words of mine which you will forever own, and forever have dominion over. I give these three words freely….I Love You
Happy Birthday Justin

THE VERITAS

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There is no reward for hatred
Yet so many stand in its shadow
Rising in their self spirituality
To serve as the executioner
In the name of a religion
Such ignorance!
Religion is a set of principles
Spirituality is whats in the heart
The murder of innocence has no chamber
In any heart nor any principle
So you worship a religion with it’s heart removed
Leaving you only hate, anger, and cowardice
Never do your own bidding in the name of any God
For it is only evil that shall gladly embrace you
And yet here we are again today
Having to grieve for strangers
Because we and they are human
And love and pain fill our hearts together
I convey my love and thoughts to the UK this day
Because you all suffer collectively
For the loss of unimaginable hurt
The loss of true innocence
Looking to live out an evening of fantasy
Filled with joy and love
Only to be forced to live a lifetime cut short
In the name of a twisted ideology
I love you my brothers and sisters suffering
Together we shall make a show of strength
Again
I pray that love will always win over hate
But I fear my heart shall be bruised once more

 

 

She Smiles At The World

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She looks so alive
She seems so revived
The truth is she hurts
Feels dead inside
Beneath all the make up are the bruises she hides
The scars on her soul that have broken her pride
She’s alone on this ride and abused until she cries
Still she denies and buys into his lies
Her world so unsteady about to erupt
Using his fists the hits don’t let up
The man she once loved just can’t get it up
Until seeing her cry with her life in disrupt
Sobbing in pain pleading in vain
It gets him off to see her restrained
A life arcane drenched and Bloodstained
Each time he swears he won’t do it again
Without her permission he implants his emission
He gets fruition with her in submission
The life she once loved is coming unfurled
Gathers her hair and smiles at the world

No one can hear her soft supplication
The mental deflation from profound humiliation
So she lies with him naked in stony sedation
Feigning her love for his sexual elation
Numb from the punches and numb from dejection
Closing her eyes in religious reflection
Faiths all she has in profound introspection
He knows how to hit to avoid any detection
Punching her gives him a rising erection
Blood in his face gives him reddening complexion
But something goes wrong
It never stays hard it doesn’t last long
So the hits keep on coming
Rude crude and lewd
An extra fist pump if she shows attitude
Embraced but alone in her own solitude
All alone she won’t let anyone in
The price she must pay for living in sin
Minute by minute her life comes uncurled
Gathers her strength and smiles at the world
The thin line between love and hate
Thins evermore after just the first date
A cycle of violence
A reign of terror
Loving a monster
Treacherous error
The dickless coward
Feels so empowered
Facing a man would cause him to cower
He’s mud on her shoes
A fungus that grows
He’s just gotta go
Girl its now or never…..
He’ll never stop hitting
You’ve got to be clever
He’s a stain on your lifeline
Isn’t even worth shitting
Not to mention
Ain’t worth one single drop
Of your love and affection
But she never runs away
Can’t break their connection
More painful than the violence
Are the wounds on her soul
So deep have they become
The scars haven’t time grow old
She believes she deserves it
So she fashions a smile
Wears it like a mask
To cover a seizure
Creates an amnesia
Her lone anesthesia
But make no mistake
Its not a weakness but a strength
This warrior girl
Tries to shield us from the dread
The realities of abuse
In a smoldering bed
What can she do
To make life seem worthwhile
But go out in the world
And give it her smile
She smiles at the world
Not because she’s weak
She smiles so we don’t feel her pain
So don’t turn away
Smile in return
Offer a kind word
Maybe even confide
She smiles at the world
Because she hurts deep inside

Justify

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They tell me I should testify
Justify why I’m still alive
They believe by now I must’ve died
But I’m still here to classify
A life that should have passed on by
Is going strong though compromised
So I use my words to justify
The reasons I haven’t gone and died:

 

I believe there was a day
I believe there was a time
I had good reason to stay alive
A cause to justify a life unwise
Because I was the waterfalls
Cascading ashes in to the stream
Then washed away in a watery mist
Where lust for life dries and withers
Like morning dew stretching at dawn
Or just maybe I was waiting for my turn
To fall upon my own mistakes
Slipping in my search for salvation
Over the stick I found in a sanctuary
The perch of forgotten sins
For a life left unlived to its fill
While singing the praises
To the Wizard of my soul
An artist painted my portrait
In matter of gray vagueness
Where dreams are folded away
And reality rules night and day
No fucking way
I’ll pay my own way
Tell my own story

Sing my own song
And dance my own dance
I will testify and justify

My Testament
Why?
Why haven’t I died?
Broke all the rules made a fool of the fools
Misused my tools while filling salt pools
I denied the guy who stands on high
With a sacred smile I walked on by
Maybe I shoulda given him a try
Given the big guy a chance
But I oh so loved the Devils dance
Had me in a trance inside
So I chose another as my guide
And I also made my children cry the tears they couldn’t hold inside
Left them without a place to hide yet I’m still alive
Why haven’t I died?
Perhaps I never really tried
I wish I could have told them why
So I lie
But why should they have to listen
I buried my murky bones of misgiving
Below a mountain of the living
Showed compassion and gift giving
After payment of some heavy lifting
So I try
I to justify…
My lust of lies
My acting fly
Loving the nights that got me high
That got me by
So I don’t die
Why should I?
We grab on desperately to each of our yesterday’s
But what are yesterdays but tomorrows today’s
Not that it matters anyway when destiny gets in our way
The worlds a stage and life is the play
I’m the leading role and that’s okay
I’m staying around for one more day
To take my bow before I go away

Children Want To Know Why

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Why is there war?
What is it for?
Do the rich simply want to have more?
Is that what we have politics for?
Somebody profits that’s for sure
Open your eyes, take the tour
Lost in the street with hunger pains
Clouds crying down in apocalyptic rains
Families sifting through the remains
Searching for their kin
Finding pelts of burnt skin
Like it’s a win
Fracking for the truth
Only to find destroyed youth
And the children just keep on asking
Why?
Why did my parents have to die
What makes them kill what makes them cry?
Hatred spreads like a plague
The truth is far too vague
Children beg
Pray each night to see light
But what they get is fright
Skies explode in burning glory
Streets littered in deaths blood so gory
Wishing mom would read a story
But she’s not home
Agents of war left our world so torn
What shall they leave for our kin yet unborn
A world of scorn? A world forlorn?
Or a nation reborn!
Do children need to die?
Why?
What does is bring save an unbroken chain
Of misery and loss followed by pain
At what cost?
Playgrounds of frost
Balls left untossed
Motherless children wandering lost
For what?
Belief in the Pentecost?
Ignoring lines that adults have crossed
Bombing for serenity
To execute their enemy
Kill one of them kill ten of me
I still don’t see
The children want to know who
Who sends their parents into death
Who sends the bombs from the Ivory tower
Having an orgasm while rolling in power
Far from the battles where puppets die
You’re the one who burnt their sky
Put the tears into their eyes
Filled them with your freedom lie
You destroyed them so you tell them why

Fait Acompli

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Destiny denies and deep inside
Lets out a moan and a pleading sigh
I’m surrounded by the constant sight
Of the decaying visions I try to hide
The ugly remains of days gone by
So I get high trying to hide my pride
That was my life with me as guide
But I tried
It feels like my fate is just a dream
Karma isn’t real just another scheme
Mental stream of an extreme bad theme
An existentialist’s surreal daydream
Kismet can be mean
Fate a concept in my inside pocket
Stale memories trapped in someone’s locket
But don’t knock it cause you cant stop it
Goes way to fast for us to clock it
Too absurd for us to shock it
Destiny is an aura rocket
Fate leads you down the path of no return
You can change direction or crash and burn
Its your decision and you’ll get what you earn
Living through failure is how we all learn
We all go through it when its our turn
Its acceptance we yearn
What is shall be and what shall be is fait
You can choose to love or choose to hate
No time to ponder no time to wait
Like the Rabbit said I’m late I’m late
You need only look to the side in order to see straight
A date with fate is on the slate
And that’s great
For many footprints litter my path
Some I followed in earnest
Some I followed in wrath
Perhaps I’m a Guru or a sick sociopath
I can’t figure out which
You do the math
But destiny called me and showed me the light
A world full of seekers searching for right
Seekers of faith, seekers of truth
Seekers and preachers of forbidden fruit
Seekers of self and seekers of reason
Seekers of greed caught up in their treason
Seekers of knowledge real or inspired
If you ain’t found it yet guess what, times expired
You’re fired!
Carriers of doom pushing the cart
Lock pickers solving affairs of the heart
Out of work actors seeking a part
Unqualified teachers who aren’t so smart
Lessons to learn are so far off the chart
The teachings of age shoulda known from the start
One simple answer it all falls apart
Some solutions stay naked thrown in the wind
I asked the same question again and again
That’s when Fate called out but I wasn’t ready
Wanted to follow but my movements unsteady
Seems all of my travels have brought me to naught
Midnight comes fast with darkness it brought
The sun bows down in defeat of day
Standing in awe I have nothing to say
A lifetime of pains
Soaked from sorrowful rains
My question remains:
“Why is it easier to say I’m sorry to the ones that have died
During moments of quiet reflection
Than to offer up sincere apologies to those who can hear
Instead of doling out quiet rejection?”

In its solitude evening hung its head and sighed
As darkness broke down in tears as I cried
Sometime wish I’d never been born
But more often I wish I had died

Incognito Hearts

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An ashen image returned my stare
The mirror had cracked in kindness
The treasures of my passionate boyhood
Descended into memories of mediocrity
I collected my well seasoned masks
Tossed them in a weather worn case
To be placed  on a vacant train
Set them free to travel down the rails
It was time to leave the phony smiles
Shake off the misery of loneliness
Put on a new veil of unstained lace
But before I was able to walk upright
I needed to make my heart incognito
A chameleon hidden in a desert of pain
Camouflaged emotion in a jungle of steel
I must change the weary path I’ve gone
Restore the shine of the fading moon
Illuminate my beacon that had dimmed
Maybe meet a stranger and find destiny
No one should travel alone I was told
So my heart beat beside another once more
Begging for justice of the shared soul
Back on a shore where dreams were born
Two tired victims laughing hand in hand
As the ocean whispered stories of joy
The glowing sunrise revealed us it’s secrets
Offering the comfort of a brand new season
And heart to heart we two became survivors
Allowed love to unfold our forgotten pasts
For once in a world so exceedingly unfair
Incognito hearts offered up a minor victory
Because even one tiny infinitesimal win
A moment of elation that fulfills existence
Is better than another loss

THE BEAST

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I have so many names Abaddon, Beelzebub, Satan or Serpent Lucifer, Harborym, Prince of Hell awaiting, The devil the demon the seed of evil The Reaper, the Darkness the master of upheaval. Call me what you may but in the end…… I am you and you are me

The Beast

Hidden in the shadow of evil
Holding darkness in shackles
Impregnating the minds of the masses
With the seeds of infernal fire
Chaos his one true domain
Constantly clawing his way
Into the helix of our beings
He is the Beast and his work is not yet done
Laughing haughtily at our ignorance
He berates us, the feeble light chasers
Insignificant followers of sunshine
All the while biding his idle hands
Because the Beast has the wisdom
Every light of life eventually fades
Enslaving everyone to his onyx trance
I am the temptation, the horrid defecation of your murderous nation
I am the intruder in violation of the king of creation
I caused his castration for all damnation
And its you who will pay son
For I am anger I am hate
I am the death you await
The devastation of war
Anticipating the wraith
I’m the Reaper at the door
Here to determine
I am the paranoid priest
With an unspoken sermon
I am the disease and filth on the teeth of vermin
Looking for your mother to force my sperm in
I am agony, the pain, hurt and sorrow
I’ll still be here when God dies tomorrow
I am you
Witness this
The Beast was there on my day of entrance
Overseeing my natal adventure
The vortex of his evil impaled me deep
Staking his claim on the edge of my heart
His servant indentured had I become
Evil that Clung to me like earthborn roots
Delivered me into unrighteousness
Made me the evil who was once the good
Tortured by my never-ending hunger and thirst
Betrayed by the fall of man
The flightless Phoenix in night dress
The smoke of the arisen burnt my eyes
The putrid ashes burnt my lungs
He is hunger unsatisfied
He is thirst unquenched
His wrongdoing never ceased
He is just the Beast
The horrible fucking Beast
He’s hateful and vicious the demon pernicious
Capriciously malicious an ambitious narcissist
Don’t count on him he’ll always dismiss us
He’ll dismember so tender and splendor in our surrender
He goes by so many names even he can’t remember
But in the corner of your eye
The place you never want to see
Hides The Stalker of Misery
He is in you and me

The Pond Of Reflection

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Once delivered to the pond of tranquility
I longed to drink in it’s glorious stillness
Yet my restless soul remained not at rest
My spirit wandered aimless as a stranger
Unguarded and alone I traveled the wind
I the intruder feeling free to commit wrongs
I wandered free
I witnessed the leaves grow bold with color
Only to wither and fall free from their home
Even with the years of profound knowledge
The mighty tree was unable to hold it’s leaves
By the pond the tree outlived generations o life
Upon reflection leaves in the lake was my own
I became enlightened
Moving through the shadows of evening’s image
I had become the bearer of guilt’s incurred
At the same time a victim of my cycle vicious
Condemned to bear weights of self made burden
Where I sacrificed myself to the blameless redeemer
Who stood in judgment of the ill and illicit
Administering ultimate justice only in the afterlife
Which was my journey

Time chiseled away at my stony regrets
Wisdom finally blossomed it’s bright petals
I understood the separation of the just and unjust
The strangers and friends, the good and evil all
Destined to stumble upon their own ill stones
Whilst clearing the paths of their own choosing
In which all travel naked in the quest of eternity
To reflect the pond