Say My Name

 

 

You can say my name
But who am I really
What am I supposed to be
One thing for sure
I’m not a name
That’s not who I am
It’s a title assigned to me
By Mom and Dad
That’s how I came to be me
So who am I really?
A silk sheet thought
One fleeting random moment
A consequence of love
Shared by my parents
An accident of birth
You can say my name
But I’m much more than a title
Much more than a belief
I’m the only thing I could ever be
Something relevant
Just me
The one thing I will always be

Say my name but I won’t answer it’s just a term a verbal cancer of a terminal dancer or a necromancer out on his luck. I’m just a dumbstruck shmuck stuck on a shelf by myself, not some someone else but me. Don’t you see, what else could I be? Although many believed they could change me. Rearrange the stranger in me but its plain to see that only caused a derangement in me. Who’s to blame for all this shame? If it’s you…..Say my name

What’s my name
Monsieur insane
Homme sans cranium
A brainless geranium
What do I possess
All I have is an insignificant title
A given name and too much time
Straddled with faded memories
I try to hold on to my past
Hoping it may last
But it slips through my fingers
Pleading with me to forget
The memories needn’t even ask
I don’t want them
Memories cause sadness
Create melancholy madness
Yet they exist in me
On file
They do nothing but mock
Why shouldn’t they
They’ve done their task
They added to my being
They poisoned my well
Now they whisper my name
If only they could see behind the pain
Hear the screams of my fearful darkness
Feel the fires that burn through my soul
Maybe they would understand why I wish to forget
Know why I rail with constant regret
I wish I could delete them
But I live in their moments

I try to put that shit behind me but my ghosts always seem to find me, keep trying to define me or even realign me and try to destroy my virility. My natural ability doesn’t win me nobility but showing humility as I use it with civility. My good deeds bring me tranquility while I patiently wait the oncoming senility. That’s our brains delete button. One day I’ll even forget my name. I’m an enigma with shitty stigma if you hear me I can dig ya but I’m serious man I’m a mysterious man a delirious man without a clear plan. Life keeps maiming my brain make me believe I’m not sane allowing some demons to cause me shame and I know this sounds lame but if you need someone to blame it can be only one person……..Say My Name

Live and Love in Peace

Philosophic Crisis

crisis

 

 

My daughter searched my eye with solemnity
“Dad, why am I here?”
I sensed her holding back a tear
After pause I understood
Tinges of pride swelled
My child’s first existential quandary
And it is I to whom she turns
Antiquity has given me wisdom
My gift to share
I began with caution
My child:

Chase your dreams
Or your dreams will chase you
And you will never stop running
Be strong in quest
Don’t become the sum of your decisions
That’s just chasing your fate
Surround yourself with positive friends
Live and love in peace
Many times my love I too have pondered
Who am I, really?
A consequence of sexual encounter?
An anecdote of an amorous evening?
Perhaps merely the result in survival of species
Geographically and socially placed
Destined by my environment
To be just like everyone else
Repeating the same rituals
Striving for the same goals
Day after day
Is that who I am?
A unique being similar to millions of others
Pretending to be different
Becoming a product of society’s will
Forced into a subliminal advertising conspiracies
While following the rules of their game
The rules of engagement
Set by the few of power
Obeying the laws set by men
Observing religion controlled by humans
Believing the garbage spewed by leaders
Unending unfilled promises of life
Is this all there is?
White picket fences and a barrage of bills
Living debt to debt instead of day to day
Looking for answers of the ultimate question
Why?
Darling you need to search deep within yourself
Determine your own truth
Your own reality
When the dark frightens you turn on your internal light
Together we will brave the unseen
Don’t waste too much time on how or why
Just enjoy your life
Before time catches up
Time spins so much faster as it builds momentum
With a tear in her eye she searched again
This time holding back a giggle
“No Dad, I meant why am I here?”
“Why did you ask me to come over.”
My eyebrows furrowed of their own accord
My smile hid behind a wrinkle
The truth is I forgot. I guess senility has it’s virtues as well

Peace

NO WAY

no way

This ain’t no way to live
Wake up to a challenge every day
Steaming hot cup of liquid courage
Before we get up and on our way

This ain’t no way to live
Everyday just like the one before
At night a wine glass full of forget
Because existence is such a bore

This ain’t no way to die
On this here slow ride carousel
Find yourself a Sunday congregation
Keep your ass from burnin in Hell

This ain’t no way to die
A mirror that fills the heart with rage
Showing how bad we neglect ourselves
Each day without mercy reveal our age

This ain’t no way to live
Chasing dollars just so we can eat
Feeling inferior to the big boss man
Doing what we do to make ends meet

This ain’t no way to live
Never really getting anything finished
Except maybe a weekend to do list
Accomplishments always seem diminished

This ain’t no way to die
Bucket list full of never got done
Get buried somewhere out in Stepford
Without having ever gone on that run

This ain’t no way to die
With a soul full of empty unkept quests
Never having chased the honest dream
Destined to return back to our nests

No way
This ain’t no way
No way to live or die
Ending up in the end
Never knowing why
No way
That game we have to play
That life ending ballet
Do we really have to stay
No Way

Chasing Time in Search Of Life

out

Life running out
Time standing still

Once full of wonder
Now had his fill

Behind the sparkle
Light growing dim

Under the smile
World dark and grim

Run out of verve
But not out of time

Hard day by day
Towing the line

Don’t let them see it
Don’t let them stare

Turn on a floodlight
Hide from the glare

Condition and acceptance
Its what they expect

When everything’s gone
You’re left with respect

A wink and a nod
Everything’s great

Life will catch up
Time is your fate