Powdered therapy

powder

 

Blankly she gazed my way

Eyes two hundred years old

Ancient and weathered

Hollow but hopeful

Just one more shot

We’ll kick tomorrow

This time we promised

Again

But we knew the truth

Because every day we wake up

Its just the same as every yesterday

A purposeless life stuck on repeat

Walking in endless circles

We know exactly what we will do

Even sex has become mundane

Stuck in our own tracks

 

 

A numbing life of monotony

Overloaded with mediocrity

Every fucking day seems the same to me

The two of us in powder therapy

And we just sit back and let it all be

Wondering aloud when we gonna OD

 

 

Still we hide behind our solution

Our addiction merely our masks

To escape detection from the world

So all the hurt each day possesses

Can remain locked away until dark

Until the latch of aguish comes undone

Again

The familiar routine comes around

But the hurt never stays forever

It fades and disappears in therapy

Frantically we seek our appointment

Whatever it takes to get through

Spears poised to  pierce our skin

Fill our veins with delirium soaked blood

Leaving evidence of their constant visits

Deeply etched in little red lines we hide

Soul tattoos that we wear on our arms

The tracks of our tears

 

 

A numbing life of monotony

Overloaded with mediocrity

Every fucking day seems the same to me

The two of us high on powder therapy

And we just sit back and let it all be

Wondering aloud

Who’ll be the first to OD

 

In a dingy room sit’s a candle flickering discreet

Two lonely lives stagnate between flesh and dust

A spoonful of sugar helps the pony downtown

To be buried side by side with our long lost lust

 

Wrapped in each others arms we nod through the night

And promise that tomorrow we’ll get ourselves right

Again

 

 

The roadmap to addition is full of pathways and routes but how and why one got there matters not to anyone who’s addicted. Sometimes its just for kix but far more often its for therapy. Therapy through drugs first blocks the physical pain sensors but you soon learn it also blocks the emotional pain sensors. Self hatred, guilt, emotional emptiness are a few fast highway lanes to addition because this therapy makes all those pains disappear. Perhaps only for a few hours but sometimes even a few hours of relief can seem like a life-line.Just about everyone knows of someone who has died from addiction. Addicts can be very convincing, even to themselves. Don’t enable and don’t give up on them. If someone you care about heads down that road you need to be strong, stronger than you think possible. Love, compassion and consistency are what they may need most.

Live and Love in Peace

 

 

She Cant Remember

dream

She forgot how to cry
Or maybe forgot why
Just cant remember when there was sadness in her eye
The story of her life and every eye is dry

But she remembers how to feel
How all the pain was real
A painful world of weight
No tears will infiltrate
Wishing to remember weeping before it gets too late

Until there no time left to choose
Or tear ducts to defuse
Using booze to pay her dues because she knows she’s gonna lose
Lose as panic nears
To realize her fears
She just can’t seem to remember what its like to shed some tears

Murderous Monday

aok

Oh its you despair we meet again
The murky hallways of my specter
You here to ruin my life again
In mask of fictitious protector

I hate myself again this morning
The evenings numbing never works
Good morning asshole here’s your life
Time to greet the grotesque smirks

They stare and snicker poking fun
Through the swinging of my mood
Call me names laughing from afar
They’re so god damn fucking rude

Maybe build an abstract fence
I hear fences make good neighbors
Or shoot the bastards one and all
Chalk it up as my life’s labors

Shut up despair I can’t do that
Stop pressuring me with those words
I don’t want to hurt nobody
The lines keep getting blurred

Someone help me someone please
Make the voice leave my head
I can’t hold myself responsible
Sanity hangs by crimson thread

Euphoria come back I need you again
Take me to that special sight
I need to find release from living
Despair let me breath tonight

The Other Side Of Despair

despair

Clenched fists and crimson tears
Bearing scars across the heart
Filled himself on dreadful dreams
Of the lives he’d torn apart

Obsessive echoes dipped in green
Reverberates to the crowds
Outside they gather spectators all
Castle falling through the clouds

Steadfast bonds of love torn down
Sugared promises now dissolved
So hard to keep strong the vows of love
Once the money becomes involved

Pressure filled his worthless soul
A screaming whisper inside his head
Telling him his loving wife will be
So much more happy if he’s dead

He had the answer in his hand
In the form of Smith and Wesson
As she walked out the door that night
The trigger would be her lesson

Dressed to kill down on the floor
With Scarlet ribbons through his hair
The grass seems richer when you reside
Out on the other side of despair