AGAIN

again

 

So here I am

Again

My possessions by my side

Darkened hallways where I hide

Running from my convictions

My hand forced from my evictions

Running away

Again

All alone and empty

Every now and then

Walk among misfortune

Run against the wind

Again

Boarding another broken train

Different city same old pain

Typical scene in rear view back

Dulling pounding headaches

Another run down shack

Fade to black

Again

 

 

 

Gotta keep decaying

Rust won’t ever rest

I keep moving backward

Doing what I do best

Another chapter another failure

Did my time

Paid my jailor

Been kicked out of better places

Same old lovers different faces

Yet here I am

Again

 

A Cul de Sac life

Paying interest on a demons spell

I wish for just this once

My life would work out well

Just one fucking happy ever-after

Instead of the merciless laughter

Not too much to ask

Instead I get repaid

In a dubious before and after

Again

 

 

So here I stand

At the gates of indecision

The gates of my own prison

The one of my own making

Exhausted from the faking

And

Trying hard to remember

What its like to win

Can’t get out from under my frustrations

So I travel without a destination

Toward a universal mediocrity

Where I’m just another wannabe

Like the loser who’s in front of me

Leading me down a twisted path

Again

 

 

Don’t know where I’m going

But damn sure of where I’ve been

Same fucking tireless trail

No answers from within

Stopped believing long ago

OM

I’m on my own

A new shaky roads about to begin

Again and again

Sometimes failure is the only option

And I am facing that option

Once Again

 

Failure

failure

Failure

Is the measure of a persons life what they leave behind
Was he rich, was he poor, was he at least kind
The value of boundless mirth
Measured in compassion
To our death and from our birth
What was my life worth
Everything on earth

Is the measure of a soul in the pile of toys they owned
How often they got stoned
Did they die alone
Or part of the cheering crowd
Boisterous and loud
Or silently in prayer
Is that the way to compare if living life was ever fair
Taken on a dare
Or is it all just air

Was the value of the person measured in all their failure
Live in a penthouse or a trailer
God or Satan as the jailor
Living a life of mortal sin
To not have reached potential of what could have been
Or should have been
The rise and fall of mighty dreams that would have been
Had my failures not been so crappy
Destroying the self to make them happy
To live inside of their acclaim
Shed the shame and play their game
Because all they asked was make a name
Be someone else
Anyone else
Other than the failure I became