Opiod Solutions

 

My life sucks
I hate it
So I hurt myself
Not cause I dig pain
For the medication
Them Oxy’s help big time
Not just for the ache
But for the torment
The hurt in my mind
One makes it easy
Two make it fade
What will three do?
Maybe it will go away
That and a few beers
No more tears
So I get numb
Novocain for the brain
My life still sucks
But I don’t give a shit
So I get even more numb
Finally I’m happy
Don’t fucking care
Maybe I’ll take some more
What bad could happen?
If I take too many
Worst that can happen
I may not wake up
That doesn’t scare me
Something much worse could happen
I might awaken
Find my feeble existence
Is continuing to be
I hate this feeling
I hate this life
Slaving to my emotions
Shackled to my fears
One sure way out
Death
This is the night I do it
Swallow a handful
Get the fuck away from here
But wait….
Maybe I’ll leave the light on
Just in case I come back home

Kick it

I wanna perish but I still cherish the love and affection even though I’m embarrassed in fairness I’m suffering from over impairment
Not to exasperate one good lesson in oppression but my obsession is a digression into a deeper depression. With a jump into aggression a head shrinking session might lesson the tension. Bur t what the Hell for?
My funeral pyre will burn till they tire of the muck and the mire of my death fire the higher I aspire the more dire I cry….Help me before my desire becomes my qualifier for expiring.
I know I should stop before I die or transpire but truth is…….
I still wanna get higher

SHE HIDES

a tear

 

 

There are tears in her eyes but no one can tell
She’s living in Hell but she hides it so well
Promises lost
Abandoned
Like an unopened package
Left in the storm
Pieces of dreams
Scattered across a highway
Fade into fog
One horror filled sunset
One mortal error
A vow broken
A veil fades to black
Hidden from sight
She hides alone
Concealing fright
Her chameleon smile
Shines like she’s fine
But her withered eyes
Can’t hide the whimper
The sobbing from her soul
Living in half
Chained to her memories
Despondent inside
The pain of loneliness the weight of despair
Thinks life would be better if she just didn’t care
So she hides
Stretching each sunrise
To her duty of care
The demands of children
The veins of her heart
Survival her goal
A day at a time
But oh so alone
Its just so exhausting
Life on a treadmill
Trying to outrun stress
No one to shoulder
The burdening tears
Staring at the vodka she hides under the sink
Come my best friend lets have us a drink
She hides
There are tears in her eyes but no one can tell
You’ll never see the hurt because she hides it so well
She turns up the music
So no one will hear
The sound of the scars
That beat from her heart
The wounds lay open
She turns out the light
Feels for some comfort
But touches the wind
All that remains
One lonely sheet
And yesterdays dreams
You can’t hug a memory
Or so it seems
Alone in bed every nigh until the torture subsides
Alone in her bed
She hides

Sorrows Never Drown (FML)

sorrows

 

Life at the local tavern

A bar built for the glum

Where my troubles hide in a tall spotted glass

Been hurt here before

Yet still I come back for more

A shot of fuck it and a stool for my ass

 

 

Oceans of tequila and sin

Rivers of forgotten dreams

Breathing stale smoke that helps numb my brain

But its me who is drowning

Three times down I go under

As I keep guzzling worlds are circling the drain

 

 

I keep pounding them down

Yet my sorrows won’t drown

When my hangover starts they come back to appear

Still I drink just the same

It’s an unending game

Because when I’m drunk I just don’t fucking care

 

 

Why do we come back to this vacuum

Chained to mundane desperations

While trapped in a labyrinth built on the life of a lie

Come pour us liquid relief

Our lives are tragically brief

But the rum is why we come here in handcuffs to die

 

Weeks morph into mornings

Can’t even tell day from night

The lost time fills me with anger confusion and strife

One more lonely night

No one to console me

Sorrows never drown so I cry Fuck My Life

 

 

Brain Flu/The Hunt/Our Secret

failure

 

A dark tour inside the mind of a troubled homicidal fragile mind. Enter at your own risk

 

Voices keep on taunting me

I can feel the corrosion

My brain is melting

Or is it the flu

No one else hears their threats

Conversations I cannot share

Secrets I don’t want to keep

Which voice is the real voice

Constant fighting in my head

Like a caged in cranium fight

Everyone just laughs at me

Whispering Kyle is insane

They won’t get away with that

We’ll make them pay

We need to inflict some pain

I’m gonna go out and kill tonight

Someone has to die

Gotta go find a thrill tonight

Gonna get my high

Just one thing I need to know

Not who or what or how

Only thing I need understand

Is who the fuck is talking now

Is that me or my mental shadow

 

Someone is after us its time to act

Listen Kyle no time to relax

Relax is what they want from you

Don’t sit in silence as you brood

Time to do it now time to act

You can do it

Act Kyle ACT!

They hate you -hit you- hurt you

They laugh when you cry

Make them pay the little bitches

Somebody has to die

Do it Kyle, go on and do it!

Make their blood flow red

They don’t care about you Kyle

They only want you dead

No Kyle please don’t listen

He’s not real

Don’t listen to his crap

Just get back in bed

It’s only a voice inside your head

He’s the one who wants you dead

Listen to me

He’s not real

He’s just a voice

I’m not Kyle, I’m the real you

Come on Kyle you have a choice

Please Kyle Please take your pill

He only wants to see you fall

Not real? I’m not real? Of course I’m real

We’re all fucking real Kyle

Each of us a part of you

Get your knife Kyle

It’s time

Lets get another trophy

It’s the only way to relieve your pain

The warm flow of blood through our hands

The same as last week Kyle, remember

Remember that night?

The Hunt

The night air quickly darkened so eerily uneasy

A stranger treads cautious along a tree lined path

My footsteps in the shadow pursuing relentless

Tapping out a caution of my oncoming wrath

Heart pounding out a warning-imminent danger

Perhaps a case of him in wrong place wrong time

In paranoia I sense the pace of his stride quicken

His destiny is to fall victim of my ominous crime

We all insist upon closing up the gap

Innocent blood about to face a stalkers fate

He shouldn’t have traveled alone down here

What’s done is done and now its just too late

The hunter is gaining quick and precious ground

Seconds seem to tick in heart pounding silence

Feeling the motion from a pair of subversive arms

Poised to unleash a world of bloody violence

A steel blade is cold against his quivering skin

Rip the flesh to change the icy chill to a burn

Warm streams of life trickle out from his neck

Sanguine copper taste making his stomach churn

He can sense ultimate glee as I shred through a vein

Can almost feel my maniacal menacing smile

Now my heart is a racing even faster than his

He can’t shout with a voice exiled in denial

Warm streams of plasma pour down his neck

Oozing out the essence with beats of his heart

Pumping to the rhythms of a dying collective

But its the sheer panic that really rips him apart

His breath hot and laborious sprays over my face

I posed him for my psychotic viewing pleasure

With his wild eyed empty meaningless pseudo smile

Watching his life run out is my reward and treasure

As he falls to the ground no muscles come to his aid

His abandoned body crumples straight into submission

I feel ounces of vitality pooling out of both his eyes

As I prepare myself for our ultimate transition

My mind is as blurry as the streaking in his eyes

Waiting for his life to go flashing across the sky

But I lay here stagnant as hope bleeds through

Nothing he can do but accept he’s gonna die

He feels nothing now all his pain and panic gone

He has no idea that I’m his murderous creep

I have no time to think about his worthless life

Its…time…for…him…to…..sleep

 

Our Secret

Time to do it again Kyle

We can help you kill

Its time to be a man

Get angry Kyle get good and mad

Let go Kyle let’s kill someone

It’ll stop that feeling

It’ll make you strong

Forget the others

They don’t care Kyle

They don’t give a shit

They’ll kill you Kyle I swear they will

But we’ll have none of it

Time to fight, go ahead Kyle

Go and get our knife

Get it now before you cave

Get it now its blood you crave

They won’t be laughing from their graves

Kill Kyle kill

No please Kyle no don’t get the knife

Slow down and everything will be okay

Go back to bed get some sleep

Tomorrow’s another day

Don’t listen to him Kyle

He’s a chicken and a wimp

But he does have one point

Tomorrow Kyle IS another day

Another day to disappoint

Another day of taunting

Another day of shame

Another day of you being worthless

Another day to make you sweat

Like its some fucking game

More laughing behind your back

Get the knife Kyle get the shiny glowing steel

Get it now

End their attacks

Remember Alice was yours

Alice was in your bed until

Remember Alice with someone else

She fucked another man Kyle

Get the knife

STOP!

No more! My head hurts! Oh my Go it hurts so much!

Shut up! Shut up! Leave me alone!

Shut up all of you – just shut up!

Leave me alone please leave me alone. Get out of my mind

Someone please make them shut up make them stop!

Why do you guys all want to hurt me too?

What’d I ever do?

My heads all twisted my nerves are shot

I hate you all the entire lot

Why are these voice in my head

What am I to do?

Everyone keeps pushing me

I wish this shit was through

Yelling pushing shoving pounding

Hurting my head

It feels like acid burning inside

Get out of here go away all of you

I wish I was dead

Then again, maybe you’re right

It all makes sense now Alice laughs

But the fault is hers

She laughs when I feel hurt

Maybe she’ll be happy

With blood dripping from her soft neck

The silken neck that was mine to kiss

I’ll kill that wretched bitch and her new friend

There’ll be many deaths

Before the evenings through

But what would Mom say?

She’d want me back on my meds

Maybe I should take the pill

The one that makes me numb

That takes away the inner me

And leaves me feeling dumb

At least it makes the voices leave

For better or for worse

Plus one more night without the need

Of leaving in a hearse

Brain is hot, minds all sweaty

Voices start to muffle

Hope this brain flu ends on the med train

The Thorazine shuffle

So many voices

But who am?

Who are they?

Which one is Kyle?

Maybe it’s better if no one ever knows

G’nite Kyle

G’nite Kyle

G’nite Kyle

G’nite Kyle

……………..G’nite guys, let’s just keep this our little secret, yea?

 

 

HE RAN OUT

he ran

He ran out of life
Before he ran out of time
Imprisoned by thought
Chained to apathy
Searching for more
Finding less

He ran out of light
Before he ran out of fire
Burning with pain
Blisters and tears
Searching for a spark
Finding scorched ash

He ran out of passion
Before he ran out of desire
Weak in the flesh
Dead in the soul
Searching for hope
Finding despair

So he ran out

Reality Dissolves

empty

A vacancy so hollow it causes deep pain
Dreams echo inside abysmal desolation
Chasing sanity down glass rabbit holes
Existence perpetuated through dark desperation

Broken lucidity
Unruly validity
Emotion fragility
From all this hostility

My prophet he poured me hope on the rocks
Said “listen my friend, this to shall pass”
Illusion is always an arm length away
Reality dissolves at the bottom of the glass

Life on the run
Tasting a gun
Call 9-1-1
Before its all done

Solace can be found in chemical compounds
Bliss arises when the mind is all blurred
And dead or alive is a relative term
When life hinges upon the absurd