The Dinosaurs Revenge

dino-revenge

The sands of Arabia are the voice of the desert and hold ancient stories of life and love amongst the pebbles of mysterious lands. The mighty Arabian wind picks up fragments of the desert floor and scatters them about to remind the grains of gravel that the songs of the wind are far more powerful than the tales of the sand. The Arabian wind boasts of songs at a time when the desert was merely an ocean floor unable to speak or even hear the songs which were sung in the land of Pangaea when the giant dinosaurs ruled the world. The desert however is unimpressed by such singing for it has mystical tales of hidden treasures, flying carpets, and camels being passed through the eye of a needle. Stories so rich in legend that can be told for a thousand and one nights without repeating a single tale. Being the voice of the desert it speaks directly to the men and women who walk its hot dry paths and explains to them how they should live their lives. That’s power! But the wind speaks only to those who understand the language of the universe and its stories travel far beyond Scheherazade. The wind claims to have been the only entity to have heard the songs and cries of the dinosaur, sad soliloquies of betrayal and deception which ended their world dominion, a song which ends in revenge, for their demise was ushered in to make room for the intelligent future rulers of the earth, humans. Humans who would one day inherit their curse, the curse of fossilized petroleum.
Petroleum responsible for the gallons of blood spilled along the desert carpets in battles to have dominion of the liquid gold, a liquid that would one day be so concentric to human survival millions would die chasing ownership of it. The dinosaurs curse is songs of ships sailing upon mirages and sinking in the sands of time. Men who claimed this cursed oil in the name of their Gods, be it by the scimitar of Mohamed or the sword of Abraham. Death would fell men by the score in an attempt to exchange that blood for oil and the wars would continue to curse humans until they bring about their own mass destruction. Oil, the curse of the dinosaur destroying their eternity.
The dead carcasses of the dinosaurs would ensure the fates of humanity. It was no accident that humans discovered the remains of the giant scaled creatures could be converted into energy that was destiny. Being human accepting it a fate wa not enough, humans had to know everything about the animals. For many years human assumed the dinosaurs to be big dumb clumsy creatures but now scientists and paleontologist believe many dinosaurs to possessed more than a low level of intelligence. Since the resurgence of dino-interest studies have gone much deeper into the social lives of these gargantuan lizards. They have correctly identified the Theropoda bipedal dinosaur to have above average intelligence with the ability to perhaps have evolved human like brains had they not been vanquished. What they haven’t yet discovered is that dinosaurs had a complex system of communication that rivals any human form. They were able to communicate not only with each other, but with the creator of the life on Earth, Gemna. In fact it was Gemna from the planet Lekiel who first planted the message in the DNA strands of all living creatures of the Triassic period. A coded message that has survived billions of years and millions of mutations and still exits in all living things today. Finding and decoding that message may be the only thing that saves us from the Dinosaurs Revenge.

NEXT:
Pangaea, Just Another Day In Paradise

Cupcakes for Your Valentine

Getting Lucky through Cupcakes

For years and years valentine day has come to represent a nice dinner, a card, and a box of chocolates. Not anymore! Time to think outside the heart shaped box. But what special treat would accomplish the same result as the “get lucky” oriented goal of the longstanding aphrodisiac, chocolate candy? Why the cupcake of course. Cupcakes are neat, sweet, petite, and ready to eat! They can also release phenyl ethylamine from the brain which has been rumored to accelerate the sex drive. But don’t buckle up to soon, its not as simple as giving her some chocolate and waiting for a result. Lovers enjoy some romance, some sensual tango complete with a few moments of awkwardness, or sexual tension. Tension? That sounds promising but its up to you to put in an effort. The Existential baker starts with a cupcake. For me cupcakes represent the beauty, the wonder, the glory of women!
Way back when baking was done almost exclusively by males. Men dominated the field of scientific baking of cakes, breads, and pastries. Well of course men did the baking, why just look at the shape of our basic breads. Loaves, long glutinous proteins all puffed up and boldly bragging its airiness. In addition to the phallic loaf they made other male oriented shapes. Round rolls and hero’s. Oh the wonderful hero. Even the names seem oddly masculine in a sexual contest sort of way. Hero, hoagie, rocket torpedo, sub, blimp, zeppelin, and of course the aptly named grinder. And as more alpha males got into baking the hero’s grew in size. Six inch, 12 inch or foot long, three, four, up to six foot hero’s. That’s a lot of cleverly erected flour product to be waving around. Size matters! All for bragging rights as the bigger and better baker. While men dominated the bakeries it was all about the bread, especially the length!
During that time however, the women were expected to do their fair share of the baking for the family celebrations. Moms baked cakes for every occasion. Birthdays, weddings, holidays, christenings anniversaries, or any reason for the family to share in a delicious ceremonial treat. Psychologists would suggest its because females by their nature are more sharing and compassionate focusing not on her own happiness and enjoyment, but everyone else’s. Kind of materialistic and selfless like a mother would be. Yep, it was Mom, so everyone gets a piece. That’s why it is my opinion that the cupcake is the perfect sweet treat to represent a woman. Cupcakes are meant to be indulged by only one person. Sure you can share, but the nature of the cupcake is to be a one person show, a solo act, an act of self indulgence. Cupcakes deerve to have ones undivided attention as do the most important gender in life, the female. Aside from that cupcakes are small, and small is cute. Who doesn’t get that big surprises come in small packages. So get her some cupcakes guys, it’s one of the truly foolproof methods of pleasing a woman
Now comes the shameless plug, the moment of truth for me and my business, Jarets Stuffed Cupcakes. Of course I use only the freshest and most aphrodisiac enhanced ingredients, and I always bake with love and passion and what one puts into cooking come out during the eating. So just bringing home some of our delicious stuffed cupcakes will open some doors, but here at Jarets Stuffed Cupcakes we are true romantics at heart (get it??) Therefore we are offering some extra special valentine choices. If you don’t celebrate, or if you find yourself alone on valentines day we have you covered as well. So here they are.
In addition to our crowd pleasing Red Velvet and our assortment of delectable chocolate and vanilla cupcakes we are offering some lovers specials. The “C’mon Baby Do the Casanova” is a vanilla cupcake stuffed with banana’s foster (banana’ cooked in spice rum) and vanilla cinnamon icing which has been falsely reported as the treat Casanova used to seduce Brazilian Bossa Nova dancers. Brining cupcake love to a new level is our “Just Like Romeo And Juliet“, an Amaretto cupcake stuffed with a raspberry champagne custard and covered with a sensuous dark chocolate icing. It’s like a old time love song! And speaking of Elvis we will have the “All Shook Up“, a banana chocolate chip cupcake stuffed with peanut butter mouse an topped off with vanilla icing. The perfect compliment for your little “Teddy Bear”. In addition to just cupcakes we will have some other creative and seductive treats including our annual tradition of fresh strawberries dipped in Belgian Chocolate or White Chocolate.
Like I said, if you don’t like Valentines Day and don’t celebrate it or are in between relationships we have you covered as well with two special Anti-Valentine Day cupcakes. Buck the tradition with the all new “Love Stinks” the cupcake inspired from the classic cliché of sitting on the couch dipping a cookie into an ice cream sundae to peel away the guilt laden layers of being a solo artist, it’s a half chocolate half vanilla cupcake with a chocolate chip cookie baked into the center, covered in chocolate whipped cream and topped with a cherry. It’s a cupcake that simply drips of self indulgent bliss! Even if your not alone this is a crazy good treat because even if love does stink, the cupcake does not! The other Anti-Valentine Day cupcake is the “Emotional Rescue” a cupcake originally designed to offer a bit of emotional rescue to some special friends who needed it. The Emotional Rescue is a red velvet cupcake filled with Heath bar custard an finished off with a cherry brandy whipped cream. I have no doubt The Rolling Stones would be proud to sing a song about it.
We have entered the post “Sex and the City” stage and have moved on to women and their cupcakes. Guys, take the hint. Two Broke Girls, DC Cupcakes, and Cupcake Wars top the list of shows that have replaced the ever popular “chick flick’s”. So cash in by brining her cupcakes while fifty Shades is still spinning around in their romantic thoughts. Not only will they make your love happy, it will cause more elation being able to show your considerateness off to their friends and followers with pictures of these sweet pieces of gastronomic heaven on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. When I bake my cupcakes I always add some extra love and a fair amount of good Karma, so every bite is drenched in positive emotion. I opened the door guy’s, now all you need do is pick up some edible romance and let your partner know how very much they really mean to you.
Carpe Valentines Day and every other Diem and share the love. Remember my dear friends, while orgasmic pleasure is undeniably an intense enjoyable feeling its not JUST about the sex because if you have real love……. you have already “Gotten Lucky!”…………….PEACE