Say My Name



You can say my name
But who am I really
What am I supposed to be
One thing for sure
I’m not a name
That’s not who I am
It’s a title assigned to me
By Mom and Dad
That’s how I came to be me
So who am I really?
A silk sheet thought
One fleeting random moment
A consequence of love
Shared by my parents
An accident of birth
You can say my name
But I’m much more than a title
Much more than a belief
I’m the only thing I could ever be
Something relevant
Just me
The one thing I will always be

Say my name but I won’t answer it’s just a term a verbal cancer of a terminal dancer or a necromancer out on his luck. I’m just a dumbstruck shmuck stuck on a shelf by myself, not some someone else but me. Don’t you see, what else could I be? Although many believed they could change me. Rearrange the stranger in me but its plain to see that only caused a derangement in me. Who’s to blame for all this shame? If it’s you…..Say my name

What’s my name
Monsieur insane
Homme sans cranium
A brainless geranium
What do I possess
All I have is an insignificant title
A given name and too much time
Straddled with faded memories
I try to hold on to my past
Hoping it may last
But it slips through my fingers
Pleading with me to forget
The memories needn’t even ask
I don’t want them
Memories cause sadness
Create melancholy madness
Yet they exist in me
On file
They do nothing but mock
Why shouldn’t they
They’ve done their task
They added to my being
They poisoned my well
Now they whisper my name
If only they could see behind the pain
Hear the screams of my fearful darkness
Feel the fires that burn through my soul
Maybe they would understand why I wish to forget
Know why I rail with constant regret
I wish I could delete them
But I live in their moments

I try to put that shit behind me but my ghosts always seem to find me, keep trying to define me or even realign me and try to destroy my virility. My natural ability doesn’t win me nobility but showing humility as I use it with civility. My good deeds bring me tranquility while I patiently wait the oncoming senility. That’s our brains delete button. One day I’ll even forget my name. I’m an enigma with shitty stigma if you hear me I can dig ya but I’m serious man I’m a mysterious man a delirious man without a clear plan. Life keeps maiming my brain make me believe I’m not sane allowing some demons to cause me shame and I know this sounds lame but if you need someone to blame it can be only one person……..Say My Name

Live and Love in Peace

Humiliated But Happy (Good bye Self Esteem)

self esteem


Kicking it freestyle about getting kicked when you’re down
All is not fair in love
My woman gave me an ill berating
It was humiliating and debilitating…
Downright deflating
My self esteem needs rehabilitating
Save that heat for Satan
Haters gonna keep on hatin’ and hatin’ is so aggravating
Frankly I just tired of waiting
My turn to be real
Spinning my luck at the Karmic wheel
To get my payback from way back
I’m a throwback on Prozac
Having to tiptoe from the git go
Who’s been outsmarted
By Lady Coldhearted
Where all this shit started
It was mean to strip the sheen off of my self esteem
Like some glycine queen
She snuck up like the bee
I closed my eyes so I could see
She stabbed my back and she blindfolded me
Set me free
To stumble aimlessly
Searching for some self esteem

I was depressed n’ obsessed
Screwed by the best
It was disgustin’
I was too trustin’
While I was working and hustling she was midnight lusting
Thrusting and busting
It’s a trust thing
It musta been
She said trust me
Left me emotionally castrated serrated and frustrated
Then rubbed my wounded faith with salt….
I’m needing Gestalt
But in the end its my fault
Took my eye off the prize
I was ostracized
Sized up and cauterized
No surprise
Flaunting some dude
Right before my eyes
She should be exorcised for that exercise
But I got wise
I got it straight
Too little too late
But I don’t hate I’ll take the burn
Live and learn
I took the blow
My dignity had to go
Self esteems at an all time low

She built me up and tore me down
Made me her clown with the run around
Then demonstrated how she conjugated
With heat
What I’m trying to say is she’s a cheat
Stomped my heat with both her feet
From someone else’s back seat
I can’t compete with a sexual athlete..
But now she wants to reconcile
Crying like crocodile
Tears that only last a while
I should cut her free
Ignore her plea and let her be
Find another love for me
But then I saw her smile
Standing strong is not my style
So it would seem
I know I should kick her ass downstream
But I’ll take her back
I got no self esteem
Doesn’t matter I’ll probably get run over by a truck anyway