I’m Fine She Said

im fine

He inquired are you feeling allright
You’ve been looking kind of down
Never listens to what she’s responding
This time distracted by familiar sound

She said I hate my life I want to die
I just feel like I’m always alone
He held one hand up in the air
With the other grasping his phone

She continued sometimes I don’t even care
If my entire world would come to an end
I mean we all gotta go sometime ya know
But he was deep in conversation with friend

She just sighed, grinned and turned away
Didn’t feel deserving of devoted attention
The same routine that he always followed
Feeling she isn’t even worth any mention

And he never listened anyway barely ever heard a word
If only he took the time out here’s what he might have heard

I’m just a ghost
A random phantom
I’m here but everybody see’s past me
I’m unworthy
Undeserving
I have opinions but nobody ever asks me
I’m never missed
I get dismissed
Like I don’t exist
Someone unkind is in my mind

They talk so loud
Form a crowd
I hear far too many voices scream in my head
My brain is melting
Nothing is helping
Soul outta control
Would anyone even notice if I was here dead
Having a bad day
A bad week too
The bad just never stops
God dammit I’m having a meaningless sucky life
And you don’t hear it
You don’t know me
Never look inside
Or you’d see me struggling with my internal strife
Never goes away
Same shit everyday
A Never ending cycle

Only thing on your mind
How to get me primed
I’m drowning in this massive sea of dread
My solution has no problem
My answer has no question
All you care is to see me naked in your bed
I’m just your toy
To give you joy
I’m here and I’m at your service
A sexual toy
For you to enjoy
that’s only scratching the surface

My life is morose
I feel gross
Comatose
I got nothing
I am nothing
Worthless
Serving no purpose
I wish I’d pass away
I hate myself
I’m gross
Burnt toast
I’m a ghost

His ears and eyes were open but his mind was shut tight
The hour will be much too far passed at his feeling contrite

With an evasive glance in her direction
He inquired what was it she had just said
She mumbled soft s’no problems Hon
Just got this slight pain inside my head

Deep down inside her spirit broke
Her neglected soul took to crying
A happy chameleon outside on her face
But internally her heart was dividing

Here ya go Babe a couple of aspirins
I bet that will help ease your pain
You believe you know just what I need
But you don’t know I’m halfway insane

With hand in the air “Hold on one sec Babe”
Johnnie needs to talk about something frustrating
She considered an end game of one thousand pills
He stayed wrapped up in deep conversating

No one had listened and not one soul knew
The pain she kept well hidden inside
All that they heard is it’s okay I’m fine
Nobody to comfort her world as she cried

Bravely she faces one last “how are you”
Fighting the forces at work in her head
Her eyes tell sad stories her mouth something else
With an artificial smile “I’m fine” she said

Peace

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2 thoughts on “I’m Fine She Said

  1. One of your talents is to get inside the minds of others and report on their pain eloquently. The next step is to find a way to bring it to more people.

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