I forgot about the Alamo and I feel like shit
Bought some yellow roses to make up for it
Gimme some bluebonnet and sage brush too
When Y’all in Texas that’s just what you do

Thars a twelve year old bride not wearing white
The baby bump on her belly there is quite a sight
Thars a racist cowboy wearing snakeskin boots
Plus a ten gallon hat and a gun that shoots

Seems they carry guns bout wherever they go
So they can shoot a possum if it move too slow
Or maybe they bargain hunting with some live ammo
Guess that’s why tourist seasons so gol damn slow

Mmmm possum on the half shell sure sounds good
Cook the dead armadillo thar under the hood
So friggen hot the eggs they cook in the road
Add a bit of road kill n Yawl hit the mother lode

They leaves y’all a light on thar at motel six
They give ya clean sheets but got to shake it free of ticks
Went to the manager said “I got a leak in the sink”
He says “ Pee where you want son” n gave me a wink

The Texas cockroach bout a big as a kitten
Free dinner each night hope yawl like chitlin
Each room has a couch that was a cars backseat
The only television what works is in the bridal suite

Staying with a friend down at the trailer park
We sat down for a beer when he made this remark
“I think yawl aught a give me a round of applause
I married three times still got the same in-laws”

Waco -The Tower Sniper -The lone Star State
I best be leaving Galveston afore it get too late
Looking over all the pick-ups with a rifle rack
Be a hundred fifty years if even come back
Short sighted narrow minded Texarkana dream
NASCAR Monster trucks wrestling is supreme
My way or highway politics getting in the way
Of moving Texas forward much to our dismay

The try em and fry em state now uses noxious gas
The LGBT community call y’all the Big Tex-ass
If yer goal is fer you to separate I hope you will succeed
All that’s got to happen now is for alla yawl to secede

No hard feelings Texas, but seriously, lighten up a bit yawl, take yer shoes off and stay awhile. Love on another, even the ones that ain’t jus like you….Peace out Y’all