What’s The Frequency Ken? (Modern Meh-taphysical Crisis)


What’s on TV Tonight?

It’s not that I have a death wish or anything but life these days seems kind of, oh I don’t know, kind of meh! Same shit different day kind of thing. The morning alarm crackles its disturbingly bleak shriek inciting the morning battle with a snooze alarm which ultimately ends in me dragging myself into the shower. Same get clean routine each morning as a few locks of hair that for years had previously set up house on my scalp scamper out of their follicles onto the tile floor. Spinning down the drain in a hopeless vortex they join the other hairs that left before them forming a clog to be reckoned with at a later date. Thinning hair, expanding waist, sagging flesh all taunt me reminding me I’m not getting any younger. The moment I dry off I’m forced to acknowledge the fact that I have become a slave to caffeine. Percolate me please. Meh!

Off to work like all the other drones in metal boxes jockeying for position in rush hour traffic, which oddly never seems to rush. The poorest drivers of some of the other metal boxes become magnetized on the highway attracting to mine every shitty driver on the road in need of remediable road travel instruction. The amount of time spent yelling “asshole” at them is supplemented with countless acts of sticking out my middle finger in the hope it will snap them into driving with focus and sharpened decision making skills. Anger and frustration build up as the daily commute scrapes away every iota of false hope my morning shower temporarlly imparted. Meh!

Undaunted I arrive at my job, take a deep breath, and begin speaking in a robotic tone asking people how they‘re doing in the hopes they will return with an equally robotic” fine, you?” Time to grab another coffee, one of the few perks, pun intended, of this office job. The guys are milling around the coffee maker, “Hey, how about them Yankees last night?” “Oh yea what a game, I stayed up until the bottom of the seventh inning, what happened?” “Holy shit man they pulled it out in the top of the ninth and won 12 to 10. Didn’t end until after one thirty, I hate the west coast games” I sneak away before anyone realizes I have no interest in baseball and nothing to add to any mundane chatter. So off I go heading for my cubicle which has the arcane ability to destroy any creativity that may be near it. As I prepare myself to begin a plethora of mindless redundant acts I notice everyone is dressed pretty much the same wearing our corporate attire like a military uniform. What the fuck, were we all dressed by the copy machine? Whatever, wearing a clean suit and tie with polished shoes will go a long way in sending my highly prized quality of uniquness swirling down the doldrums of corporate team concept. Meh!

Lunch is the highlight, the one moment of the day we can make our own choices not worrying that a memo will be sent around exposing our ineffectiveness. Low self esteem creeps in on the back of hopelessness so I began to get concerned about the extra fifty pounds that have found their way onto my body in the shape of flab. Hmmm, the years have not been very kind to my body and I don’t get nearly enough exercise. Actually I don’t get any. So much for making a choice based on what I enjoy. Now that I’ve reminded myself about my weight today will be another healthy quinoa wheatberry chicken and raisin salad with raspberry viniagrette. Meh!

The last fifty minutes of the day have ticked by in ultra slow motion seemingly laughing at every tick but it’s finally relents so its time to punch out and get back in the metal box. Now to find my way back to where I started, back on the roadway and a host of new drivers to extend my finger to only this time its with my eyes half closed from a day of mindless senseless productivity. If this is the road to Hell I can tell you this it is NOT paved with good intentions, but with paved with anger and frustration that moves tediously slow. It leaves me unsatisfactorily full of desperation. Meh!

At last I’m home again, back to my comfort zone. I get to remove this movement restrictive uniform of business and put on some sweats and a tee, have some dinner and find my spot on the couch hoping the non events of the day will just melt away and be forgotten. Maybe a glass of red tonight? No, straight to the vodka it was a stressful day even by Mundane Monday standards. Meh!

Life on this revolving ant farm has just become meh! ta-physical and I need to challenge my mind before I go insane. When I begin to utilize my temporal lobe and hippocampus the syntax of eclectic impulses in my brain profoundly ponder the mentally challenging attributes of metaphysics. This is cool, contemplating abstract concepts will bring my existence back to some semblance of active sanity validating the fact that I am indeed still alive. Juggling deep queries such as what is the fundamental essence of my being, how does the intersection of time and space alter existence as it relates to cause and effect, why is there something as opposed to nothing or for that matter can nothing exist? If it exists then it must be something which conflicts with its basic premise. And….know what? I’m tired and burnt out and all this thinking will keep me awake making tomorrow that much more of a difficult routine to follow. Maybe the prudent thing to do is pound down the remainder of this vodka and pour another one. I’m far too tired to deal with all this philosophical bullshit right now, it’s been a stressful day. Its mere hours away from that moment when that alarm screeches out its hideous beep disrupting the only real peace I get. Bring on more vodka, fire up a doob, and hopefully for the next few hours life might not be so….Meh!
What’s on TV tonight?

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