Duck Dynasty, big in the news lately sparking debates about tolerance, free speech, and an over sensitivity to political correctness. Duck Dynasty has over six, count them six million viewers. And without any embarrassment and with glowing pride I am proud to admit I am not amongst that number. Two weeks ago if you asked me if I watched duck dynasty I would have guessed it to be a NatGeo show on generations of mallard ducks, or some sort of prime time soap opera about a duck farmer that struck oil in Knots Landing. As it turns out even my wild imagination could not have guessed it to be a show about a family of living Chia pets in the swamplands of Louisiana who made their fortune from something that was once a toy prize in a Cracker Jacks box. But hell, who am I to begrudge anyone from making a ton of money for being themselves on a television show. A ton of money.
I would love to say this is a story of compassion and human integrity, a big company that took a stand against hatred because an employee spoke in “coarse” language defaming other human beings. But as always it about money. Of course what was spoken in the GQ interview was not really hatred, he was just quoting from the bible. For instance, in Leviticus 6:66, “Thou shalt find vagina’s much more desirable than a mans anus“ or Deuteronomy 7:14, He who layeth with another man shall surely have intercourse with animal next“. Seriously though, nothing for a slave to sing the blues about. But he did say some mean things and of course social media and public opinion wasted no time creating a shitstorm of a political debate about rights and the act of Christian bashing, which apparently is the new “black“.
Some context here. Free speech first. True, we do have the right to free speech but we are also responsible if our words cause us to lose our jobs. You have every right to call your bosses wife a creepy slut who has slept with just about every male employee, but don’t be outraged or perplexed when your boss fires you. The bottom line here is free speech is a right, but when misused there are potential consequences, and that’s on the speaker.
That said, A&E were also well within their right to suspend him because they have to answer to their sponsors. I don’t remember who said this but this quote is a quote that businesses should share with their employees, “We don’t pay you, our customers pay you. We just handle the money.” So Mr. Duck Dynasty i responsible to A&E, who in turn are responsible to their advertisers, who are then responsible to us, because after all we are the consumers, they all just handle our money. After they take out disproportionately huge cuts of course. So A&E had to act swiftly so the shit doesn’t pile up on them. Unfortunately they acted by playing middle management and imposed punishment immediately so their bosses would see that they are taking control. The problem for A&E is they acted before any duck dust settled. No hearing his side, no waiting to see how outraged the public would be, and most importantly, how much toleration their sponsors would have for a family that brings in crazy good ratings. A&E took a stand, The Ducksters got behind their favorite hirsute millionaire family, Christians screamed defamation of the Bible. Political correctness gone wild they whined, all he did was speak the lords truth about the despicable excuses for a children of god because of their sexual orientation. Its christian bashing plain and simple, part of a war on Christianity. Of course that doesn’t fall under the category of too sensitive because its only political correctness gone wild when someone else bashes you.. It became a FOX fake news vrs. Lamestream communist news event sparking enough hatred to breath flames into sagging ratings of hate fueled political pundit TV shows. Oh the postings an responses on social media were off the hook. Gay life style is destroying all that’s good in humanity, like allowing any asshole to have the ability to arrange for an arsenal of guns in their homes. Provided of course they aren’t gay, then it would require a new law. But I digress, I don’t want to fan the flames, there is plenty of hatred from this injustice. And this time its NOT IN FLORIDA!!!
This is how I would like the story to go, both sides squaring off, the entire duck dynasty threatening to leave A&E, a face book page threatening to boycott A&E, and A&E showing their backbone by insisting on an apology to all the offended people assuring us that they will always take a stand against hatred. I can‘t because their real response was how much viewer money do we stand to lose we lose? No, it was time for some damage control from both sides. So in the true American battlefield, the big business boardroom, a strategy was worked out. A&E would rescind the suspensions and the double D television show will offer an insincere apology for using coarse language. Not apologizing to African Americans for belittling slavery, or defaming the LGBT community for its role in bestiality, but for using coarse language that may have upset anyone. It may not have the integrity we hoped for, it may not discredit hate speak, and it may not taste like victory, but at least everyone is happy and came out smelling like swampy roses. And by everybody of course I mean the Duck Dynasty staff, A&E, and all the advertisers who didn’t even have to admit their role in allowing big bucks to once again rule the day. We are a society of ADHD celebrity gossip lovers who love it when the paparazzi uses them as toys to play with so until the duck shit hits the fan again somewhere, this one is ov….Oh wait, Brittany is shaving her head again. Gotta go this is gonna be huge!……PEACE