Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden because of their inter-racial relationship. The farmers and Shepherds are at war….this is how it happened according to the gospel of darknesss…..
Part II…The Mosey Chroicles
Cry me a rainstorm
From the day Cain Had murdered Abel, The Aggies and The Shepherds engaged in battles. Battles of words, of wits, and of fists and kicks. Adam and Eve were completely oblivious to the warring, not having seen anyone other than Cain and Abel. Having not enjoyed the outcome of those visitors they had to do something, so Adam just buried Abels body. (Actually he placed Abel in his compost, but told Eve he had buried him) They never spoke of that day again and lived together in a blissful love shack. Nature was taking its course and interrupted the lovemaking by offering them a child. Eve gave birth to a son, and they had no name book to look through so just called him Noah. Noah was a complete pairing of both Adam and Eve. He grew up practicing both of their cultures and became adept at both farming and herding. “The best of both worlds” Adam always claimed. But Noah added another dimension as well. As he grew Noah became extremely handy and was quite a builder. He built complex fences so Eve had an easier time keeping the animals in, and he built rudimentary Farm tools to assist his father working the fields. He also built a large structure with separate rooms to replace the customary hut. This came in very handy on days or nights when the rain fell. The three were very happy, but the addition of Noah impeded tremendously on Adam And Eves lovemaking. Adam was heard complaining on many occasion how “I hope this is just a temporary glitch in our marriage. I sure hope this doesn’t become a trend in marriages forever.” Eve on the other hand did not miss it anywhere near as much as Adam, and rarely complained. They did however find some time to engage in the lovemaking that had been so intense at one time, and Eve found herself with a baby filling her belly a second time. Adam was said to be having mood swings going from happy to be having another child, to saddened that he cannot make love any longer. Such is life, he thought. One of the reasons Adam and Eve Had found alone time was that Noah, having both a pension for and a love of building things had built a floating room. He would take this room and bring it down to the river and go rafting. It was great fun for him, and he got better and better at building things that float. He had a floating chair, a floating bed, of course his floating room, and he even had a floating doghouse for his pet dog! Building things was not Noahs only talent. While farming he learned how to ferment grapes and made some drink he called wine, which made him feel real good. Noah took this wine on his floating room cruises and went exploring just about every day. During one of these explorations he came across a young lady from a wandering tribe of neither shepherds nor farmers. She belonged to a tribe that called themselves hunters who killed the wild animals that roamed this side of the world. She did not communicate very well and the wine made it more difficult to talk, but had a curious effect on her physical communication skills. They quickly came to an understanding similar to that his parents had come to so many years ago. Noah and his mate experienced blissful encounters in the wilds from the other side of the river on a regular basis. Noah was not even sure what her name was because as I said, she did not speak very well, but he called her by the name other members of her tribe called their spouses, Ballinchane So Noah and Ballinchane met secretly in the No Tell Grow Well Garden every opportunity allowed them.
Things were moving at a rapid pace. Eve gave birth to another boy they named Ham, ensuring his place in the future as a prolific pig farmer and creator of the B in a BLT. Noah and Ballinchane became united in a secret ceremony at the hunters temporary village. Their leader had given her to him as a thank you for the barrels of wine Noah had left for the tribe. Life was hard and farming the land was taking its toll on Adam. He had some bad luck with his crops and the soil had dried out and not very suitable for growing anymore was poor. Anticipating a disaster he asked Noah to build them a floating home, not just an SRO room so they could go down the river and find new land better suited for crop growing. Of course Noah jumped at the chance, and made two huge rafts, big enough to hold all of them, all of their herds, and whatever crops that could be saved.
Perhaps it was instinct, or maybe Adam had seen a fortune teller, but the timing could not have been better. An unusually harsh rain began to fall which would have decimated the crops and drowned the animals. Adam, Eve, and Ham got on one covered raft with half the herd, and Noah and Ballinchane took the other half of the herd on their covered raft. They headed down river together until they came upon a fork in the water. Noah took the left fork so he and his wife got the forty day and forty night plan south toward the resort towns of Sodomy and Gonorrhea , and Adam took his family northeast on the same 40/40 plan to Greece, where he would eventually write the Iliad and the odyssey, and become the foremost authority on Greek mythology. As they parted, Noah yelled “Son, beware of geeks bearing gips”
The sins of the father
When the forty day vacation had ended for Noah and his floating zoo, they docked in a two town resort area along the Nile called Sodomy and Gonorrhea. Everyone got off two by two and the animals roamed the town because Noah had forgotten to pack the fences. “The Eternal Burning Hot Place with it, come on Ballinchane, lets go do up the town and have some fun. And fun they had, finding beverages far more potent than his jungle juice wine that did him so well in his homeland. This S&G had some liquid shit so potent that it put hair on his chest. So potent it put hair on Balanchine’s chest making her look very French. Oddly aroused by this sight, Noah couldn’t help himself and enlisted the both of them in an orgy on the second floor. For the next four nights they drank and danced and had sex and drank some more. They moved to the third floor which was reserved for couples who liked to swing, and Noah and Ballinchane became very close with another couple, Abraham and Sarah. Again the partying continued until the seventh day, when Abrahams brother Narco came to them with a warning. Abraham, quite drunk at the time slurred a sentence to his brother. “Narco, what in the name of imaginary messiahs are you doing here? I have told you time and time again I don’t want to play hide the commandment with you.” But Narco was not there bearing good news. “My brother, I want to hide nothing on you this night. I have come to warn you that the police are going to raid Sodomy and Gonorrhea to rid it of all that is evil. They plan on choosing 50 people not engaging in raucous behavior and send them inland to Egypt and destroy everything else.” All
four of the sexual revelers sat up straight and watched as their respective buzzes flew out the window and staggered down the street. “Holy shit guys, we gotta get the fuck out of here and be part of the 50 righteous non-raucous peoples.” All were in agreement with Abraham, they thanked his brother Narco and put on their clothes.