Confessions of An Expanded Mind

Because I have frequent flyer miles when it come to mind expanding practices I am often asked to talk to kids about drugs. They want me to tell them how drugs ruin lives and destroy dreams. The truth is I did a lot of drugs over the years and I have seen lives destroyed an dreams shattered because of drug abuse, but its not the drug itself it’s the abuse. Not a very popular thing to say but I never wanted to be an anti-drug ambassador. Many times I enjoyed doing drugs. That’s too vague, I enjoyed smoking pot and hash, I enjoyed a few barbiturates once or twice (no, not a day!) , and some hallucinogens. I learned very quickly that its all about moderation and using common sense. I think it was in a Carlos Castenada book I learned “Never let the drug control you. If you are not in control and the drug is its time to stop immediately.” I still feel very strongly that weed should be legal and it is ridiculously hypocritical of the government to choose for us which form of recreational relaxation is allowed. Of course they allow alcohol for two reasons, one because its such a monumental money maker, an two because the first time they attempted to take it away the population went friggen berserk. But I could ramble on for hours about this subject and quite frankly its an easy argument intellectually, but a losing battle with a government built on the power hunger of the christian right. That’s not my subject either, although I am always up for a good battle with organized religions. No, what I want to focus on today makes me very unpopular with “responsible parents”, but quite the opposite with former, present and future users of hallucinogens.
LSD, peyote, mescaline, magic mushrooms, psilocybin, orange sunshine, blue cheer, barrels, all kinds of different psychedelic drugs. They were used as experiments for mind control by the CIA an other head in ass organizations looking for world dominance. They hoped to control minds and create assassins with plausible deniability for the government. What they got was a set of hippie Guru’s like Timothy Leary, Ken Kesey (author One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nests and leader of the “Merry Pranksters”), and Bear Owsley who manufactured the LSD that turned on nine tenths of San Francisco and ignited a hallucinatory craze. I myself have indulged in the use of these mind benders, and here is my confession.
I was all of 16 the first time I tripped, and it was on the legendary “Purple Owsley”, the acid that was rumored to have been used by the artists at the Monterey Pop Festival. Well Fuckin’ A man, if this shit was good enough for Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, then you bet you’re a the EB was willing to give it a taste. I’ll try just about anything. Twice if I’m not sure I liked it or not. So I dropped the LSD. This shit takes just over an hour to kick in and after only 30 minutes we were complaining that we didn’t feel anything. What a disappointment. About 40 minutes later I aw something from the corner of my eye. Wait, what? I just aw a tree bend over and kiss the ground. My head felt funny, like it wasn’t mine. I thought my cranium had cracked and my grey matter was spilling out to have a look for itself. I was in a cartoon. Now IO began to worry, I mean they drop anvils on your head in those fuckers. But no Wile E. Coyote, or Yosemite Sam, it was cartoonish but not like fake. Maybe more like I was posing in a landscape picture for Salvador Dali. The tree’s and the people were still there, same color, just kind of melty. I noticed that the blades of grass. I mean I NOTICED the blades of grass. I could see the fibourous hair sticking out and I thought, holy shit, I never realized how beautiful they are. Or the tree’s or anything. Everything was just beautiful, full of detail normally unnoticed. Colors were alive and singing. It was visually stunning. I placed my han in front of my face and after a short period more fingers began sprouting until it looked like I had ten fingers. That may not sound unusual, but I was only holding up one hand. The sounds were equally as amazing and I could sense guitar strings vibrating as the music played. I could feel the music inside of me. The whole trip lasted about six hours and I squealed with laughter as I aw funny in everything, I marveled at the incredible sights and sounds that had been there every day, but not really felt. It was amazing, an I knew right away it would not be my last trip.
It wasn’t my last, I took many more trips on various hallucinogens. What I noticed most about the trips was that they showed me how things really are, not just how they appear. That’s also why I wanted to stop. It was getting to a point where I was liking less and less people because the drug revealed the inner persons and many of them I didn’t like. Suddenly I became suspicious of everyone, as if their ulterior motives were showing through. The last straw was the night I id 3 hits of Blue Cheer. I was living at home with my folks and had been grounded on a weekend that promised to be one of the best party weekend of the year. My rebel spirit is what told me to do 3 hits of what a normal person would do only one of. That’ll show em! Well it started out as usual, feeling really happy and digging the music when I got up to use the bathroom. A I turned to leave there was a full length mirror and the sight of myself caught me off guard Around my right eye was two yellow circles of like war paint, and around the right side of my lips outline in black war paint. The left side was the opposite, black around the eyes andd yellow around the lips. I mae the big trippers mistake. I stared at myself. Suddenly I went from Dali to Picasso as my facial features took turns moving around my face. I began to fear that I would stay that way cuz my Mom warned me not to make faces. I got very paranoid, my brother came home and I hid a sandwich I was eating. I still don’t know why I stashed a bologna sandwich but for some reason I believed it contraband. Anyway, after hallucinating images I made up in my head and sweating it out for five hours I decided that was my last trip. Unless of course I’m dying. My son knows that if ever they bring around hospice he should load me up with a little of everything he can get his hands on.
So I won’t advocate drug use but nor will I judge. If you choose to take drugs educate yourself on them as many can be very dangerous, and like Carlo said, never let a drug control you. I don’t trip anymore and I confess I took more than I should have, but truth be told it was a major part of opening up my creative soul and permitting me to be more open minded on everything. The trips allowed me to flourish creating culinary delights, and hopefully drawing on that mind expanding experiences I hope it will allow me to find my creative soul in writing, both a blog, short stories, and The Great American Novel I have vested about 200 pages in so far. I have faith in the youth that they will find their way, making mistakes along the way, and finding their own creative legs. Judging from some of the blogs I’ve read here I have no doubt…Get inspired, stay inspired, and make sure you give your imagination plenty of exercise…………………………PEACE

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